How it all began I was in my very early
20’s when I met my ex-husband. I was new to the country in which he lived.
I joined University over there. I studied Education, and he
was the first person that I met .We seemed to have a lot in common. We were
friends for about a year and a half, or rather part of the same friendship
circle, before we actually got together. And when we got together, you know, I fell
madly in love. He seemed to be everything that I ever wanted. We had very, very
similar values. We both came from the same faith, although neither one of us
was overly religious. We valued family. We valued friendship. We valued working hard.
And he seemed absolutely perfect. We dated for a while, and then he had
plans to leave the country since before he met me.
And the question of ‘what happens now – do we go there together or do we break up?’ arose. And we decided to break up. Or rather, he decided, because he didn’t want
his successful or failure in this new country to be dependent upon another person who
was with him, and whether they were happy or not. Which really, in hindsight, I
completely understand today. Back then I was devastated. Nonetheless, he went off,
and about six months later he contacted me and asked if I wanted to come and
join him, which of course the answer was a
resounding yes. And it took me, I don’t know, perhaps a couple of months. I got
myself sorted financially and in other respects, and went overseas to join him.
We got engaged about a year later and were married. We went on to have three
beautiful children and, yeah, the marriage just progressed beautifully. Eventually
we did leave that country and we came back. I think it was just too difficult
to raise our three children so far away from where both our families were. And a
short while after we returned we had one romantic evening together. And we had a
bit of a chat about something and I asked him a question. I just don’t want
to get into the details of specifically what it was. But what’s relevant is that
when I asked him that question, he paused. From my end it was just a jovial,
sort of, you know, question in jest. And I was expecting him to sort of chuckle. But
he paused and looked at me and I realised that something was not right.
And at that point I looked at him, probably a bit baffled, with a sense of
foreboding. I could tell that whatever it is that he was about to say was not
going to be a good thing. And I remember sort of feeling in that frozen
frame. You know, it’s the proverbial holding your breath and waiting to see
what comes out. And he proceeded to tell me that he had had some affairs in the