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  1. you obviously have not meant Nigerian people. I don't know how a Nigerian bride is suppose to follow these tips but I will try.

  2. http://www.intimateweddings.com/blog/matthew-shannons-pennsylvania-airbnb-wedding/
    My wife and I learned a lot of this a few years ago and made the decision to have an ultra small intimate wedding. Especially the "say no" part. Its YOUR wedding. Don't let anyone other than you and your soon-to-be spouse decide what your wedding should be. We decided to focus the substantial portion of our budget on a photographer because we realized it was the one thing from the wedding that would truly live on forever. The rest of it was cut to a bar minimum and still turned out to be everything we wanted it to be and more. There is no part of it that we regret whatsoever. Even the total we came up with includes the cost of my suit (which I already owned and wear often).

  3. I told my husband I didn't want a fancy engagement ring or wedding band set, that I'd rather he saved the thousands he was getting ready to spend on a down payment for our first home. Since having children, my fingers are a different size anyway so I don't wear the rings anymore.

    I do regret having so many people at our weddings that neither my husband or I had ever met before, that and not paying for the venue/food for the civil ceremony like we did for the religious ceremony. I gave up too much control to my mother because of it and was not happy with all the things she deemed that we needed but were just a waste of money on her and my dad's part. Just how many souvenirs from the wedding did my guests need? I got expensive chocolates from a local chocolatier but wrapped them myself to save money, but she thought that we also needed personalized napkins, personalized notepads which looked like matchbooks, wedding cake shaped containers filled with bubble solution to blow bubbles, tiny fake flowers in our wedding colours which guests could pin on their clothes, etc, etc. I would have rather they had spent that money on renting air conditioners for the hall which had little air circulation on a day that was 37C. I had to apply my deodorant to my legs squished in a bathroom stall because I was sweating so much!

  4. Just started wedding planning and I hate the "But you could use that money on ______" argument. We're having a big wedding because we want to include our families, and we both come from large families, and friends. We have a budget, we know how to stay in budget, and we're paying for about 80% if it. No body ever looks at your fancy new grill or watch or whatever and says "but you could have spent that on ________" so why do they think they can say that about your wedding?

  5. 32 invited to our wedding, 25 were at the reception. We choose tunes and made a play list b on Amazon. We did a trial of "unlimited" to get songs we liked that were not on the list.

    We picked fun instrumentals of Pop songs we liked ", vitamin c versions of green day and American idiot songs, threw Jason DeRulo. "

    We had food brought in from a local restaurant with fried chicken and fixings and made the wedding cake

  6. I got married recently and something that really helped us was to both write down the 5 things that actually mattered to us. These were the things that we would be willing to spend more on to get something we loved/ valued versus the million extraneous wedding things that we really didn't care that much about. This really helped focus our wedding and was a good launching off point for budgeting our wedding. While doing everything as budget friendly is great, it's still a (hopefully) once in a lifetime event that should at least get a little extra love 🙂

  7. Thanks for perfectly vocalizing how insane the wedding conglomerate is now. I can't believe how much pomp and circumstance is involved.

  8. This is true.
    I thought of the same but
    1. I'm gonna get my grandma to make my dress
    2. Lake wedding
    3. The lake doesn't allow outside food so less of a hassle for family making food
    4. About 30-65 people

  9. Dude, you don't have to give up the dress 🙂 I got mine from Ross Dress for Less for $50. The veil I made from a $10 piece of fabric from the fabric store and finished it off with a crown of live white roses. The roses I got from a grocery store for $5. So, yeah, you can have nice stuff for a very low cost 🙂

  10. Thank you. Thank you. I really needed this. Currently planning my wedding and the pressure to go over the top is crazy.

  11. I will be forever grateful that my wife is not an "instagram girl". Our wedding was exactly what we wanted, cost about 4K and with the money we saved we bought a house that we can very comfortably afford. I am glad we were on the same page when it came to size and cost from the very beginning.

  12. Im getting married in 3 weeks (ahhhhh! ) and my budget is 3,000$ . at this point we are under 1,000$ but we haven't bought all the food yet. Im hoping it will end up being about 1,500$ total. The guest list did balloon to 70 instead of 50 max but thats not too bad i suppose. I bought a dress off mod cloth that looked ugly but was on sale for 120$ and then my mom reworked it and now its gorgeous. So many jumped in to help us for free though so that's why we have been blessed. Having a community with different skills really helps.

  13. I'm surprised you didn't see an engagement ring as a waste of money since you wear it temporarily and then get another ring after getting married. Unless I misunderstood something…?

  14. I had a beautiful English country wedding which cost, in total, less than £4000!
    A friend made the cake, and we used my moms vintage Jag for the car. The chapel cost £600, and the rest was spent on the reception meal for 20. 80 attended the ceremony and we walked to the village pub (beautiful late summers day. The English countryside is full of roses) where we all celebrated togegether, then the formal reception party left after 4 hours to the dinner. It was perfect and everyone (all 80) had a lovely day!

  15. My wedding was this past June, and wow, looks like I didn't have any of these issues. My husband's parents paid for the wedding because they have the money, while my parents don't. They were supportive of our decisions, even those that weren't traditional. I paid for my dress, discounted, and the alterations. My husband and I picked whatever we wanted together, kept to a reasonable budget. We picked out our rings together and I paid for them. I always knew how much things were and kept track with a shared spreadsheet. Only family and close friends were invited. We had a wedding hashtag so we could have a way to access guests' photos of the wedding. We didn't feel any pressure about others' opinions of our wedding. We're not obsessed with social media. Everyone had a great time! We had more than a year to plan it, so maybe that's why we weren't so stressed.

  16. I don't think that I'll have the QUITE the same level of a non-traditional wedding as you (I definitely want the white dress, and I have too large of a family to only invite 27 people, even considering the fact that I also only want to invite close relatives and friends), and I do think that I'll put my wedding on social media when I do have it (it's not about showing off, it's about celebrating such an important event in my life!), but yeah, people definitely go SUPER overboard when they get married in terms of finances, and I really DON'T want a lot of the things that my family is pressuring me to have- and I want to know how much the ring costs and how much everything is costing. I'm NOT a child, and my husband and I will have intertwined finances. His debt is MY debt.

  17. the average money spent on a wedding in america is outrageous. ok i'm french , but my friend who got married and made a big party spent a bit less than 20K. for ours, we cutted to what was really important : preparing the mass (catholic), people we love and enought good food. it costed less than 10K. and I had to bye a dress, wich I regret. I looked beautiful but it wasn't comfortable, and I can't use it again, it take a lot of space in my closet, so i'm gonna sell it half price. on wedding people think dress : it's expensive and made of plastic most of the time. and under, the shoes, it's completely useless to bye shoes just for the day. We really make too big of a fuss for just one day.

  18. You say 'especially as women' but I find that as a man I and most men I talk to can't be bothered with lavishly expensive weddings. Women are indeed inundated with all things wedding but need to learn to say no and stop getting caught up in socialisation and peer pressure.

  19. love this video. I never ever wanted a wedding and I do not want to have one. no white puffy dress, no big ring, no 100 guests! . It gives me anxiety thinking how much money that will cost, how much traveling I can do using that money, how many beautiful countries I can see and foods to try. My bf wants a wedding, expensive ring,,, blablabla… Maybe I need a new bf, lol

  20. Remember "average" does not mean common. Average is calculated by adding the price of all weddings and dividing it by the number of weddings. So, there can be 9 weddings that were each priced at $1,000 and 1 wedding that cost $100,000 and the "average" wedding vost of that group would be $10,900…. not an accurate reflection of what most people are actually paying.

  21. If it was up to me alone, it would be just me and my partner at the courthouse. He thinks family should be there, and that’s fine with me. But we counted less than 20 people we’d want there…

  22. We are doing our wedding minus the "reception". We are doing the ceremony and then having just little refreshments near the waterfall just a few steps away. Only having a maid of honor and best man. DIY decorations for the garden. Self catering via the women's minstry at church. Keeps cost even low for finger foods and refreshments. Will have a nice dinner later with those who helped and a few quests who travelled. We are dabbling with the idea of using a photographer from uni, do a test run with save the date photo (we are making our own invitations/save the date) No gift registry, cake will likely be made by a local cake shop nothing too fancy potential cupcakes for guests. No gifts for guests. Just some of the ideas. We have considered eloping but give our culture and faith not ideal 🤣

  23. I want to have a get together at home with friends and family with lots of delicious food, and we can decorate the place ourselves. It would be free, comfortable and enjoyable. Why do something so extravagant? I don't get it. Also, personally I would find it really awkward to share personal wedding photos on social media, and I don't see the point in it unless you are trying to show off. Most likely, the people that you wanted to see the wedding were there, so why even post them? If they weren't there, email or mail them pictures.

  24. I need to share this video to my friends! I couldn’t agree more with you about how ridiculous wedding expenses would be. My husband and I got married just like you did – at a courthouse. One of our friends got mad and didn’t talk to us for a year because we didn’t have a big reception like the others. It’s really sad. That person is longer our friend anyway :’)

  25. Me and my husband had somewhat of a shotgun wedding. His mom is sick and it's the one thing that we still wanted her to be a part of.
    Total cost for every was about €6000. And basically we went adding things as we wanted and as the money came in.
    First thing is we didn't ask anybody to "help" with the wedding. This was so both our mothers wouldn't get involved.
    How I saved money :
    1.I bought my dress second hand (200 resold for same 200)and washed it myself.
    3.We got married at the courthouse, and had our reception on location €10 pp.
    4. Orderd almost everything for the wedding favors via Aliexpress and assembled them myself. Had two types "expensive ones" (€10 pp) for aunts, uncles and good friends. An "Cheaper ones" (€3) for the rest.
    5. No alcohol at the reception, cake was made by my sister. And had simpel snacks. Didn't do any extra decorations. Wich wasn't needed as it was a mid 1600 estate.
    6. Dinner with a small group of friends.
    Our photographer was a really good friend. So the shoot was enjoyable and we had fun. I didn't have any bridesmaids or groomsmen. we had no dresscode no bachelor/ette party or "pre wedding diner". A good friend drove is in his car.
    Only thing we splurged on : wedding rings, we went to the jeweler with a set price we wwre willing to pay and stayed within budget. Sending my bouquet to dry professionally.

  26. Part about saying "no" is super extra importat. Don't listen to anyone sayig that "wedding party is for guests", "it's tradition", "everyone do that" or anything like that. Your guest will be having fun if you two will be having fun. You don't like popular disco music? Look for something else to dance, that will hit your note. You both don't want dance party at all? Go for a diner, or some place to sit comfortably and chat (check out italian weddings!). It's becoming more and more popular worldwide to do extensive weddings, wedding industry workers will jump around trying to convince you deserve to be a princess for that day and proposing more and more stuff to buy. But it's not about buying, being princess or showing off. You two are getting married. That's the best part, and wedding should be to celebrate that, not "to be wedding". You want to be a princess on a 400 guests party? OK. But make sure, everything you will pay for you've really choosen yourself… and that you both agreed upon it 🙂
    Also. Don't expect anything from guests! You can write on invitation, that you accept money intead of gifts or wine instead of flowers. But don't make them feel to obligated to bring something (or do something in particular) and definately don't put them in a place like "if you will come – pay XXX". Your guest list should be people you really want around on that day – so don't invite anyone that you'd not like to have if he/she wouldn't pay/do a share. That will prevent too much pressure on everyone and let just enjoy 🙂

  27. i did mines in a different state so i can be within a reasonable budget and have that grand wedding feel. it was around 20k with the travel and honeymoon dress etc. no liquor, garter toss, bouquet toss. and i had a fake wedding cake and served regular cake from a local baker.bouquets etc were all handmade. my only regret was to not make it an hour longer. long engagement because we were going to get in debt for one day

  28. love you, chelsea. you keep it real. i saw this video when i moved in with my hunny this past April and we got engaged 2 weeks ago. my head is spinning with all this wedding planning.

  29. my friend's wedding had a spectacular 3 course dinner – but i'd have been quite happy with one, plain main course. It's fair to offer a vegetarian option or something, but i didn't need a pudding or starter or fancy fried sides! Do offer tea and coffee as well as booze – it's hard to stay awake after a long journey, a whole day and a big meal – but i'd be quite happy to pay a bit for the meal and all my drinks, i don't think i need a free bar

  30. I will watch this video multiple times to really ingrain this talk inside my head because we are fed so much mumbo jumbo about marriage that it's easy to get swayed away with it in the moment. It really makes no sense to outdo yourself to please people, many of whom you hardly know. End of the day, someone or the other is going to crib about the main course or the decorations or the absence of their favorite dessert. Yet, weddings are such a huge deal esp with the popularity of social media. In India, already it's like a mini-festival and there are actual wedding loans available to help you finance the wedding which is a very elaborate affair. I feel the function should be suited to the taste and sensibilities of the people getting married, and no one shouldn't be in a compulsion to outdo some other random couple because it's not a race people!!!!

  31. I planned my wedding in about a month due me moving and starting a new job, and I barely spent any time on each decision, I didn’t over think anything and my wedding still turned out lovely. I also got most of my things booked at a wedding expo which meant that I got everything at deep discounts, especially on my wedding dress, it was the dress most deeply discounted and I didn’t really like it when I first tried it on but the shape of it was right and I could see the potential in it, so I asked if the price included alterations and they said yes (I could tell that they couldn’t wait to get rid of this dress since the owner of the store told me they’ll include all the alterations and they’ll do it in time for my rushed wedding without any extra cost, I could just picture her saying “just take it, please”) so I bought the dress and modified it until it was perfect and so “expensive” looking, so much that the owner of the wedding dress shop told me that she loved how my dress turned out and that she should’ve done the modifications in the first place and sell it for a lot more.
    So just remember to negotiate and wait for a wedding expo if you can.

  32. My entire wedding and honeymoon cost $1500 and it was awesome. Grow you flowers, have a potluck, do it in an inexpensive venue like a park. We had a costume wedding in October. No one had to buy an outfit they would only wear once. I have worn my wedding dress for many a Halloween and Renaissance Fair since.

  33. I was just watching the videos from you and Tasha about why NOT to get married to avoid issues with taxes and income-based loan repayment. I'm curious why you decided to get married even though you had a domestic partnership with your partner? Thanks!

  34. The tux that my brother chose for his wedding (in 2012) was hella expensive for me. It was a Vera Wang. I didn't even feel that comfortable wearing it. I was best man. It cost me $5 to rent suspenders to wear with the tux because the pants were a bit big, and there wasn't time to have them properly adjusted (in addition to the cost of the tux rental). If I ever get married, I'm not going go the tux route.

  35. Weddings are overrated. It doesn’t seem like there is a profound thought about this. What happens to current debts each individual might be bringing to the table? What are the relationship overall financial goals? Where are they living? Is $35,000 logical even $10,000 in an event that only last a few hours?
    None of a “wedding” and that’s the assumption of a wedding celebration, makes real sense. Not financially and the real impact it will have in the future.

  36. A lot of companies were very surprised at how involved I wanted to be in the financial aspect of our wedding. Knowing all of the numbers really helped me to save a lot of money!

  37. I got married for less than $1 000, ten people, church and food. I got married because I wanted the person, not the experience. Get a grip, people!!!!

  38. The only thing I need to know given all that I already know, Never Get Married and so far doing fine at that. In which case none the four things matter either. My wallet is thankful for this decision on both end no wedding, no divorce. My sanity is preserved.

  39. I want to make a low cost wedding but I know deep in my heart that I still want that gorgeous twilight wedding between Edward and Bella. Say what you want about the story, that wedding is still beautiful beyond words.

  40. Hey Chelsea! As a newly engaged person who has just fallen into this rabbit hole that is wedding planning – I greatly appreciate this video! It's very grounding and a good reminder to focus on what is most important to us, the couple, and not get caught up in all the expensive aesthetics

  41. Weddings are unnecessarily overpriced! My wedding is this June and price is always the first question that I ask. I wont move forward with a vendor if they arent within my budget. Before I consider any purchase, I ask for a pricing guide or what the set rate is. If a vendor cant provide those details, I won't do business with them. I always make my budget goals clear. Its crucially important to me and my fiance that we don't enter our marriage in debt and are able to afford upcoming expenses after getting married, like buying a house or a second vehicle. Those aspects are more important than an expensive wedding to us.

  42. I think British weddings are a little different. I think we have a longer day, pay for the bridal party. Mine is this year, I love all the details but this day is about us. We have bought a house together, paid off our student debt and our paying for the majority of it ourselves. I m making a lot of it to cut costs.

  43. I am maid of honor for my good friend, and the costs are overwhelming for what I have to contribute. They want to travel for the Bachelorette party, (Vegas or Miami) dresses, and costs for hair, makeup and nails. Their budget is 35k and for the most part the bride and groom are not paying for most of it. You hit the nail on the head, a lot of this spending is for Instagram or for fancy mentions on social media. I appreciate this video so so much. As a future bride trying to save, but be there for my good friend it’s a pickle.

  44. My wedding was 8 people including officiant, bride/groom, and photographer – and cost less than $700 including the wedding license, dress, and both rings, and pictures. Honestly I cannot fathom spending anywhere near $35k! That's insane!

  45. Only 3 things are really on my wedding list
    * a garden wedding
    * NO open bar (i don't want anyone to get drunk, + it's expensive as HELL!)
    * I will design and make my wedding cake.

  46. Some things mentioned are quite different where I live. But the thing about not talking numbers seems to be common in the German wedding industry as well. We are currently in wedding planning and I usually have to ask at least twice to get the any actual number and even then they try to get away from the money topic asap. So annoying. I don't need to hear all about their "wedding philosophy" and how they create magical moments for their costumers, if the numbers don't match my budget.

  47. I'm concerned the true meaning of marriage is being lost in all the stress of having a "perfect experience." The success of a marriage is not about how fancy the wedding is.

  48. Thank you for making this video. I'm planning a small wedding with my partner and it feels good to know other people have planned frugal weddings.

  49. It’s funny because I’ve never seen a wedding dress that I’ve really liked but there’s this weird self pressure of will I regret not wearing white even though I’d never wear white normally and why pay for a dress I’ll only wear once? I’ve actually looked into renting dresses. Hell if the men can do it, why can’t the women?

  50. My wedding dress was £80 made-to-measure. We had no wedding party. No flowers. We hand-made the decorations, with a few etsy finds [i found topiary dinosaurs centrepieces…], I specifically requested a man-made sapphire instead of 'found' or whatever the difference is, and had 33 people including us. We just had lunch not dinner, arranged it for local to 80% of our family, no dancing, I made a 200-song ipod playlist plugged into the hotel speakers… Bought cupcakes and decorated them ourselves. And we only had a hotel because my MIL insisted and paid for that bit. There were no phones or hashtags. I havent even posted my photos on my facebook page , 3 years later 😛

    Yes to avoiding wedding: when my husband bought his £200 suit, we said "an event" and he's managed to wear that suit 3x since too, making it worth the money.

    Also, we made a photobook for us and our parents, rather than an 'album' which was 10% the price and it's the same photos, with out own annotations, typed and arranged by us 😛

    Our budget was £4,000 and we spent £4,282.08. I was fairly happy with that <3

  51. great on you being smart about holding a descently priced wedding. me and my wife married in a simple style as well. we only had about 50 people show. my wife wanted a bigger wedding but is glad we didnt spend too much. and we spend much of the money buying solid gold jewelry for the wife that she barely wears and instead stores as part of the rainy day fund.

    and we are south asian where in society its the groom and bride sole responsibility to pay for much of the wedding as well as accomodation and food for every guest out of town.

  52. We got married in a small chapel with my mom and her girlfriend and my son walking down the aisle super simple since we were planning our reception to go all out. Still on a budget for my 2020 reception. We basically do it our own thing by ourselves first now is the blow out, how are we managing this? 1st wedding cost is on both of us split in half doesn’t matter if I’m the bride or whatever I know how much every single fork is costing. 2nd we cut the guest list, been honest I got pregnant right when I got engaged and I had to leave work early on my pregnancy due to complications. We make a great deal : if people show up to our baby shower which was about 1 hour and a half away of were we live (I did it on my grandmas house) we will invited those people. Turns out I expect 60 people and only show up half. So I say fuck it, I’m paying for each person to attend my reception so would be a waste if they don’t show up. So now I make sure I cut the people that didn’t show up and not even DM me. 3rd if you live in LA you might hear about the Santee alley: got my wedding dress for 900, and the shoes for 50 my husband Tux was 200 including 5 pieces, does it looks cheap? Hell no, and the wedding dress I used for our intimated civil ceremony was 20 bucks at ROSS. Everything is about perspective 🙂

  53. The only thing I'd recommend to 'splurge' on is a photographer. I've seen some disappointed brides when their photos come back because they went cheap or didn't throughly researched who they hired.

  54. My husband and I decided to invest the money in a GREAT honeymoon-trip (while having a small wedding) and we spent two wonderful weeks in Japan. Best decision of my life! ❤️

  55. How did you learn to be so financially knowledgable in the real world? They don't teach this in high school and I didn't learn any financial knowledge in college (though I was an Environmental Studies major, they should be teaching real world finances to EVERYONE considering how much money one shells out). You can study finance in college but for a lot of people who even study finance, it doesn't stick enough to apply it to personal finances. Maybe I'm missing a background video. Love your vids! So educating <3

  56. I got married in April and from the beginning I decided that the only thing I cared about was getting married to the love of my life and being able to share that moment with our closest friends and family. Not once I cared about what other people expected or wanted from the wedding (not even my parents). It was our time, not theirs. In three months, I arranged a simple but chic, small non traditional wedding. Every choice I made reflected who my husband and I are. I felt no stress at all because I only focused on what my husband and myself wanted. The result was above my expectations. We had the most wonderful day and received amazing feedback from our guests. They all loved how different the wedding was. I was very pleased and we spent a really reasonable amount of money. You don't need to spend a lot to create something beautiful. It's all about being smart on how you spend the money.

  57. If you are buying a new dress, don’t ever pay full price for it! I went to try dresses three times in two different places and they would easily give me a 25% discount to fit my budget. If you can get the store-model then the discount might be even greater. They ask you for your budget the moment you walk through the door, so start a bit lower than planned and see what they can do for you.

    Another point to keep in mind is the ridiculous excuse to charge customers for trying on dresses. You are usually refunded if you buy something from them, but does any other business do this? In Norway it is easily $40. It makes you wait forever before deciding on a store to try out… And lastly, I was surprised when the dress I bought with a delivery time of 6 months was not ordered according to my measurements, but to standard European sizing! Tailoring being extremely expensive in Norway, I am not looking forward to that part… But at least the dress is gorgeous and could potentially be transformed into a wearable dress for a different occasion 🙂

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