AIB : Honest House Parties | Part 1


Isn’t it shit? Look, sometimes our friends come over everyday, so the neighbours won’t be a problem right? Oh, sir, what you do in your house, behind closed doors, is after all, every one’s business right? Okay, that’s alright, but does this house get water? Of course sir! You’ll get water from the ceiling, from the walls, from the windows, even the floors! It’s just, during the rains, you’ll have water flowing from the taps as well. I’ll get that fixed, so don’t worry about it, it’ll get fixed! Okay, so what is the rent? The same, our standard, ‘Fuck you’ per month. ‘Fuck you’ per month? Just say yes, I’ll speak to the owner, and get him to settle for ‘you’re screwed’ per month. Hello? Hello! Yes, they’re watching they’re both looking at me, yes, both of them. What happened? What! the other buyers have, have agreed to pay, Fuck you’ per month? Alright! They’re also talking about paying a token amount? Oh ho ho, they’re shit scared. Hold on, let’s stall, and have some fun with them? What else? Okay, okay! Long live the fake call! Yes, long live the fake call. Hello! I welcome you to this house party. I am your host, Paranoid Gupta. Before enjoying the party, please pay attention to these instructions. This house has 2 emergency bathrooms, one in the bedroom, and one, outside. To call your host, at any time, just break the plate nearest to you. I’ll be there with a broom in an instant. When hungry, if you’re looking for food in the kitchen, please remember, while taking out the porridge from the cooker, that there wasn’t any porridge made today. That can be someone’s puke. Due to being drunk, the pressure for validation, can increase. At this time, refrain from social media updates, Tinder baits, feminism debates, hitting on your friend’s date and with the sofa, don’t procreate. In times of distress, such as the neighbours or the police arriving, ‘Chalo Bulaava Aaya Hai’, will be played on the speakers, and temple garlands, will drop down. Please take out the cymbals under your seat, and start playing them. Alcohol will be served shortly. I hope you have a pleasant party, thank you and cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Yes, please take down the order? Four SGST, Five CGST, three delivery charges, and… Yes! Packing! Two packing charges. No, four! Yes, that’s all! But sir! You’ll have to pay the pizza charge, on all this! It’s a new rule from the government! What rule is this? Pizza charges.. Paranoid! Just send it all. Haha! What’s up? How are you? Good. You remember my friend, Hot but Single? Oh ya, ya! I’ve, I’ve stalked you on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, Gmail, OLA, Netflix, Hotstar, Hulu and Play Store. Of course! Creepy. Um, Hot but Taken told me, it’s a BYOB party, but I’m so sorry I forgot to get mine! It’s alright! You’re hot! Hot people forget stuff like this! Thank you! You can have mine! Lot of drinks… I’ll have to take this, one second. Yes bro, where are you? Bro! I’m close by, but I can’t find your society! No problem, go straight from where you are. Okay, I’ve to take a U-turn? Yes! From there, take the second left. Okay, third right, next? There you’ll see an ATM. Okay, I’ll see a temple, then? In front of the ATM! Behind the temple. Got it! See you in 5 bro! ♪Oh yeah!♪ ♪Why?♪ ♪Do people dancing always have this problemo?♪ ♪They pull everybody to the dance floor!♪ ♪Acting busy♪ ♪and avoiding dancingo!♪ ♪Don’t♪ ♪Force♪ ♪Me-o♪ ♪See i have two lefto feeto.♪ ♪Plus I am, a total introverto.♪ ♪When I’m drunk I dance like a dude-o.♪ ♪Dude-o! Dude-o! Dude-o!… Dude-o! Dude-o!♪ ♪No matter what she does a girl always looks hot-oh.♪ ♪’Cause I guess they’re all Beyonc-o!♪ ♪And I move like Sunny Deol-o!♪ ♪Jiggling your chest on my on my head,♪ ♪Don’t leave the kite!♪ ♪I’m python and you’re cobra!♪ ♪Hitting me from behind!♪ ♪Make me a drink but♪ ♪very little soda!♪ ♪No, not whisky, I asked you♪ ♪for rum rum!♪ ♪Sweat, Sweat♪ ♪I’m sweaty!♪ ♪Third wheel♪ ♪Move aside.♪ ♪My body is tired,♪ ♪you’re still at it♪ ♪So exhausted,♪ ♪my doorbell rings-♪ Shit! I think it’s the watchman! It’s the pizza, guys! Yay! Good evening, sir! This is your pizza, your oregano, your ketchup. Thank you! The total bill is nine thousand, which is six hundred per head. Guys! Guys don’t do this! Okay fine! I paid! Yes bro? I’m close to your place, But can’t find your society. What can you see around? There’s a while polythene bag, and… One black dog! Yes yes! You saw the dog right? Yes! He’s getting up and running away now. Yes follow him! Follow him! Follow him! Wherever he stops, the building to the right is mine! Got it! See you in five bro! See you, bye. Uh, excuse me? Is this, the line to impress Hot but Single? Yes, you get the tokens from here. Okay. This is just the conversation starter! Where are the rest of the papers? Res of them, ma’am? Hey! Your follow up jokes, interests, insecurities, ambitions? Who will submit these? Ma’am- Look, you’re cute, so come back after two or three pegs! Okay, next! Compliments for your eyes. Seriously? Compliments for your dress. What is this? It’s empty! Ma’am, subtle compliments! Next! Ma’am,this is your close friend’s recommendation letter. And ma’am this is my thesis on why Ramadhir, is a darker more complicated villain than The Joker. Ma’am, my last two flings, were sanctioned because of this! Ah, really? And ma’am, this is my ex’s clearance certificate. But this certificate was issued only last week? Ma’am, we broke up only a week ago, ma’am. Listen, I don’t accept rebound applications. Okay? So, please go elsewhere! Scene transition! Guys! Did anyone watch the third season of ‘Popular Show’? Oo, I got bored after, season 1! What? One second, how is it that what we like, that you don’t like? I mean, your background is different, your upbringing is different, your life experiences are different, your personality is different, plus creativity is subjective! So then how is your taste any different from ours? Guys, have you seen equally popular show? Dude, that show, is so overrated! Overrated? I agree that occasionally, the narrative sputters like an old car on account of stray, boring scenes… Bro, your hair? But the performances are charming, self-assuring and self idealizing. Sadly they are cast away as being precipitous. Bro? Your voice? The show trains the same critical eye, at the other end of the socio-economic divide only multiplied by the sadness of their power, raised to infinite feelings. I give Equally Popular Show, two thumbs up, and eight other fingers, for a perfect 10.

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  1. random person who recently got to know about AIB videos and watching for the first time and asking "anyone watching in 'current year' ? "

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