Anthony Jeselnik & Tig Notaro Drop Babies for Fun | Netflix Is A Joke


– Have you ever dropped a baby? Holy shit, do people overreact. (upbeat electronic music) – I’ve wanted to be a
parent for a very long time, and it is such a tremendous experience, and I feel like Stephanie and I are doing a great job, I really do, and um– I do, but I also feel like it would be reasonable if somebody had called Child Protective Services a couple of times. A couple of times, you know, it happens. You have a rough day, or a weird day. Um, no, when Max and Finn were just a couple months old we were so amused because people would come over to meet the babies and what we would do is we’d prop them up with
our hands underneath their armpits and then we’d just say, “Yep, they’re pretty much walking.” And then we’d let go, and their little noodle legs would buckle,
and then we’d catch them half an inch before
they hit the ground. Oh is that a treat. If you have a baby I highly
recommend trying this out. If you don’t have a baby but know someone with a baby, ask to borrow the baby. Nobody will regret this. The baby’s clueless, just like, “Blugh”. They’re just a blob, they don’t, and you catch, that’s the
key, you have to catch them. You can’t just let the little blobs fall, because that’s when there’s true trouble. – You drop a baby in
America today, I swear people hit the roof before the baby even touches the floor. And it’s not a big deal. How do I know? Because I do it all the time. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever held a baby to completion. Now you might be thinking, “Anthony, how could you drop a baby?” You ever held a baby? How could you not? It’s so easy. It’s a two-step process, maybe less. Should you ask, “Anthony why would anyone ever let you hold their baby?” The answer’s simple. Negligence. I love it. It’s a hobby. The only negative, the
only drawback as far as I’m concerned: the embarrassment. People try to shame you
when you drop their baby. Even though I almost always
make it look like an accident. That’s why this is so great. You ever do this? You ever drop a baby and then scoop it right back
up before anybody sees you? No shit. Best feeling in the world. You just hand the baby back
and no one is the wiser. Especially not that baby. Happened to me just last weekend. I was at a party. One of my friends came up and said, “Anthony, I gotta go to the bathroom. Will you hold my baby.” And I tell the truth. I’m always a hundred percent honest. I say, “Yeah, for a little bit.” Held that baby 30, 45 seconds. A personal best. Dropped the baby. Scooped it right back up
before anybody saw me. And it was close too. Had to run down three flights of stairs. (upbeat electronic music)

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Comments

  1. Punchlines straight out of the fifities is comedy dying? lolAnthony is cool but he tells jokes like nnty year olds.And the chick is a token.

  2. Anthony has a helluva stage presence. He really does have the audience eating out of the palm of his hand.
    Tig's like that hilarious-but-a-little-crazy aunt. Loveable as fuck.

  3. i always get mix feeling listening to Jeselnik, i honestly believe his material is good, but the way over the top monotone "i dont care about anything, i dont feel anything" persona is taking to such extreme that, at least for me, is more offputting than actually funny

  4. My younger sister and I used to throw babies and catch them back and forth… and Now that I think about it 😳

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