Apparently, If You’re a British Woman, You Can Marry a Ghost

– Well this lady said she
banged a bunch of poltergeists. – That’s close. – It’s pretty cool. That’s like a Sex Island on
a different astral plane. – Yeah. It’s sex dimension. – “I want to marry and start
a family,” with a ghost? – Is she British? – Yeah. – Of course. Well I guess it’s a ghost
wearing a lot of ruffles and very dusty
buckles on his shoe. – Was the ghost possibly
wearing a powdered wig? – Yeah, does he have
a position like canter or something like that? – [Interviewer] This is a
real presence in your life, your spiritual
guidance constantly, you’re used to
this sort of thing. You open up channels
to the other side. – I guess none of
these ghosts are gay, that’s why he’s lettin’ ’em
walk around with that hair. – [Both] Oh. – And he goes, “You open
channels to the other side.” She goes, “I guess you
could call it that.” (hard rock music) – She wants to have a baby
with a ghost, which is, I just want to hear
what she has to say. – She has, she just did. You see it? – Oh, I had a baby. – Alright one, two, hang on, oh it’s quadruplets. – Oh my god, I’m such the
luckiest woman in the world. I’m not showing, I
have a ghost belly, it’s a ghost pregnancy belly. – [Woman] So yeah. – [Interviewer] Yeah, and
this person, this presence, can you tell us anything
about him, her, it? – [Woman] I thought it as
him ’cause that’s easier. – [Interviewer] Yeah. – [Woman] And he’s very
ancient, very wise, very kind. – “So you like older men is it? I can appreciate that,
an older gentleman.” – “My boyfriend is a
revolutionary war soldier.” – Then he goes, “Cool, cool,
my girlfriend is Cleopatra so.” – “I feel like
you’re lying though, I feel like you’re
not being honest.” – She was renting another
person that claims it. – “I think you’re being
kind of a dick to me when you say that’s just.” – “Are you lying?” – “No, no, no, I’m plowin’
’em all, I’m plow’n’ ’em all.” – “Marilyn Monroe.” – “Hang on a second, let
Anna Nicole Smith finish up.” – “Oh watch out, oh
she’s a naughty.” – “She taught me off, she did.” – “Oh she’s a bad bed. This bed right here.” – “She’s a real baddy
she is, she is.” – “Yeah.” – [Jay] “When you see a
baddy, you go for it.” – “My boyfriend’s a
15-century street sweeper.” “Oh, I been workin’ out all
day, figure I’ll come back and put a baby in ya.” – “Hey horny, how was work? You want me to give ya
a good ghost shaggin’?” – “Oh yeah, you ready for this
uncircumcised ghost dick?” – “You ready to put my
specter in your sphincter?” – “Hey, hello, how are you?” – [Interviewer] When
you and he talk, what do you talk about? – [Woman] Its really
difficult to explain in terms of normal Earth
bound relationships. – [Jay] What? – [Woman] It’s a bit
deeper than that, we don’t have a need
for conversation. – Oh, you asshole! Of course you’re wearing
yoga pants saying you’re deeper than all
of us on national TV. – She didn’t want
to give an answer, like what does he say to you and she goes, “We just talk
about his ghost day and, he’s in a ghost
fantasy football league and that takes up
a lot of time and he makes me watch the
Jets but I wouldn’t go.” – “I want to go to Sex Island. If I could I’d go
to Sex Island.” This is ridiculous, this is. – [Christine] Is this just not considered mental
illness anymore? Like somebody can say
they’re gonna fuck a ghost or marry a ghost and we’re like, “Oh no, we need to accept this,” like there’s not
something wrong. – [Dan] I convinced
Christine I was a ghost for the first few years
of our relationship. – No one else can see me. – I died 40 years ago. Christine goes, “cool.” – I drag raced off
of Hugin’s Bluff. – And then you
have to do a whole, you have to do a transfer, you have to do a, I’m gonna
crossover just for you, I’m gonna give up heaven
for you and Christine goes, “Oh my god.” – And then Dave’s
like, “Hey dude,” I go, “Yeah,” – [Dan] What’s up? – What’s up? Oh no no no, I’m doing
a thing with Christine, she tells me I’m
a still a ghost, alright, just give
me one second. – Hold on I’m
transforming into a human. – “Alright sorry, I’m back. I’m back in the netherworld. I need you to help me escape. Only your love can
make me real again.” Hang on one second. – Hold on. Yeah no, buzz in. Buzz in, I got ya. – He goes, “Is
there extra cheese? Is there extra cheese,
’cause I ordered it? Well, I’ll look, did you
fall with this thing?” – Yeah, the host. – Dude just take
it, just take it. – Take the tip,
yeah, tip included. – “Sorry, I’m back.” – The host is, the host,
this guy is so great. The look on his face right now. – [Jay] It doesn’t
say he’s buying it. – “Well, you look like
you’re full of shit. So these guys are
coming by, bangin’ ya.” – “You seem to be a real
shit sandwich here.” – [Woman] That emotion and
feeling and connection. – [Interviewer] But you may
be feeling and connecting a bit more than, you
know, more than that because you feel that
you’re gonna connect to such a degree, am I right, that you will have a
spiritual or physical baby. – Baby. – [Woman] I hope so. – [Interviewer] What,
spiritual or physical? – More than that. – [Woman] I would hope physical. – I hope this
lunatic walks around with a piece of her
own shit wrapped in toilet paper for a week. – She goes, “you
want to see my baby?” – “You want to see
my spirit baby?” He goes, “Oh god, oh Amethyst. That is gone, you
gotta throw that out.” – “Amethyst, I’m gonna
puke, but real quick, what are you eating? It’s not supposed to be
lime green like that. Are you eating a lot of bugs?” – “Is that blood? How many days has
this been out of you?” – “Have you, it’s hardened.” – “Did you put googly
eyes on a piece of shit?” “No, what do you mean? It’s me baby I had with
me ghost boyfriend.” – “It’s half ghost, that’s
why it looks like that.” – “Amethyst, is this
the baby you had with your ghost boyfriend?” She goes, “Well, ghost husband.” – “Well, he made me
an honest woman.” – “We married.” “We wouldn’t have had a baby
out of wedlock, we wouldn’t.” – “No, you know what it’s like
working at the ghost center.” – “Yeah, I know,
I answered calls at the ghost center next
to you for five years.” – Or, “guys I’m gonna go cross
over at the woods and talk to my boyfriend now.” – “You guys wouldn’t get it!” – (laughs) – “You wouldn’t understand. It’s too deep for human realm. Bye!” – “Can you give me
some privacy please? I’m having sex with me
ghost boyfriend now.” – (laughs) “‘Bout to
go get drilled out by a guy who died when they
thought the Earth was flat.” – Is this Florence from
Florence and the Machine? – “Everyone, fuck a ghost!” (laughing) – “Touch everyone next to
you and say I love you.” – “Oh, do you feel the love? Good, ’cause we’re about to dump some ghost
dick in this room.” – “Relax your eyes and
look between realms!” – “Oh, feel the
ghost dick in here!” – “Close your eyes,
and look again.” – There’s all these
penises floating. – Holy shit,
everything’s glitter. – Florence! – [Woman] It’s actually
a real pregnancy, but you have a
phantom inside you, rather than a human baby. – [Jay] Oh that’s easy. Christine, so if you
ever get the itch, we could definitely
have a phantom baby. – [Christine]
You’re not a ghost. – Oh, am I not? – [Christine]
You’re not a ghost. I can’t have a ghost baby
when you’re not a ghost. – Listen, here’s what I’ll do. I’ll go out one day. I might be gone for a while,
but I’m gonna come back, I’m gonna go to the
ghost sperm bank. – Oh. – [Jay] I’m gonna get
you some ghost jizz. – Make sure you
get a ghost doctor. – And then we’ll put it in you and then you’ll have
a phantom baby in, I don’t know, you
call it, a day? Nine months? Do you want it make it legit or do you wanna just fart
this thing out the next day? – Do you want a preemie? – [Jay] Yeah, what
do you want to do? – Do you want a ghost preemie? – I’m sorry, there were
complications, Christine. (laughing) His phantom umbilical cord
was around his phantom neck and he lost a lot of
oxygen to his brain. He goes, “He’s alive. He’s, don’t worry, he’s
very much alive/dead, but.” – I’m having a phantom
challenged baby? (laughing) – Yeah, it’s gonna
be a real thing. Oooo, mom. Oooo, mom. Oooo, mom. Oooo, mom, mom. – It’s gonna be
very complicated. – Oooo, mom, mom. She goes, “I’m sorry, I’m
having a hard time focusing, I have a special needs
ghost phantom baby.” – Christine says, she starts
getting offended at comics that do ghost retard baby jokes. – Oh, this ghost
must be retarded. Okay, alright, you know what? Is that funny? – Is that funny to you? ‘Cause you know
what I have at home? I have a 7th month old that is mentally
disabled and a ghost. – Oh she just sits
there in the park and has her tit hanging
out with nothing happening. And she goes,
“Somethin’ on your mind? You want to say somethin’?” – Say something, this is
beautiful and natural. In another realm, this
is looked at as beauty. – Okay, alright,
fucking asshole. So aggro. – It’s a phantom baby,
so it comes on down and doesn’t cry at night
so I sleep properly. – She pushes an empty
fucking stroller around. Christine, we could have a
phantom baby baby shower. That’s pretty exciting. – Oh, I’ll come over for that. A phantom gender reveal party. – Before I buy a present
for a phantom baby, though, I’m coming over with baby powder and I’m throwin’ it around. I better see an outline. I better see, “where
is this motherfucker? Alright prove, just show me. Show me footsteps or somethin’. – I just dropped 90
bucks on a Rug Doctor, ’cause you were over
there with a fucking, (imitates baby powder noise) – You know how Christine gets, can you just please just say
you see the phantom baby? – Oh no, I wanna prove
that this thing’s real. I watched that
Kevin Bacon movie. I know how to get ’em. – He goes, “I’m gonna
Hollow Man this shit.” “A lot of people wouldn’t
understand their miscarriages. It’s just, you’re queefin’
out phantom children.” – “Yeah, Arthur, you left,
where did you leave your baby? He’s at the hospital.” It’s like, oh my god, those
babies didn’t survive? It’s actually a tragic thing. – Yeah ’cause what she’s
describing is gonna happen. – Not go full term. – I always make the
mistake of thinking, because of the accent,
I think English people are much more intelligent. – Oh yeah. – Then I hear this. – [Jay] I’ve made that
mistake a lot in my life. – Yeah and then you hear
’em wingin’ up shit. – And then you hear
this coukoo bird. – Fucking idiot. – It really turns out they are just fuckin’ gravel chompin’,
no flouride, teeth havin’. – Yeah. – But this is the
extreme version of, – These limey fucks just
out there spreadin’ lies. – This is the
extreme version of, I have a girlfriend
in Niagara Falls. – [Jay] Yeah. “Oh no, he’s ghost,
you wouldn’t know him. Do you know ghosts? Well then stop
asking questions.” – “Did you go to the
ghost high school? (Jay laughs) Then you don’t
know my boyfriend. He’s the quarterback of
the ghost football team.” – “I used to just date all
vampires and werevolves.” – “And then I got
like, I hated it. They got so many issues. You know vampires, they
change on you all the time.” – “I like loners, those
guys are all family dudes.” – “It’s like, ugh,
I gotta belong.” – “Wolfpacks, vampire covens.” – “No thanks, I need
a ghost to just, I like guy that’s independent, comes and goes when he wants, between this realm.” – “Can’t be held down,
he’s such a bad boy.” – “Oh he’s got a ghost
leather jacket on.” – “Sometimes he goes
back to the netherworld and he won’t answer him
phone for a couple days.” – [Dan] “And I love it.” – “It makes me jealous and hot.” – “I love it, I love it. And I know he’s got
an ex on that plane. I know he’s got an ex
on that astral plane. And he’s just like.” – “I know he sees
her, he doesn’t tell
me when he sees her.” – “They get coffee because
they’re legit friends.” – (laughs) – “But they’re ghosts. So they have a lot in common.” – “I’m doing my best
not to get jealous, ’cause they also, I
should’ve said it before, also, he’s got a phantom
baby with an actual phantom.” – “So you guys.” – “And a different spirit.” – “And his, his phantom baby from his first marriage
means a lot to him and I love that about him. It’s why I want to have a
half human, half phantom baby with him now.” – “So how are you guys gonna, make this family come together?” He goes, “Do you understand
anything about quantum physics?” – “Oh my god, you have
to flip the physical and the spiritual world
in order to shake up. It’s like when you
mix something.” – It’s like, “why am
I doing this show? You guys don’t get it.” – “You guys don’t get it.” – [Woman] Oh my gosh. – [Interviewer] The
ghost, or presence, whatever you like to call it. – “His name’s Phillip. (laughing) His name’s Marco. You can call him Phillip,
he’s fine with that. Or Phil, if you are
familiar with him.” – [Interviewer] You met
in the Australian bush and you had to leave Australia – [Woman] Yeah. – [Interviewer] And you
were feeling very sad about leaving this
presence behind. – [Jay] “I was chased
out by a neck romancer.” – Dude, this is so funny. Go back. Her fucking, her ghost
husband lives in Australia. It’s just a guy sittin’ behind
a bush fucking with her. And he goes, “I think
this girl believes it. She really thinks I’m
alive, I’m a real ghost.” – That sucks to have,
you have a ghost husband and he’s not present very much. – [Dan] Yeah. – “Oh I was busy babe.” – “Oh you, come on.” – “I got four houses I
haunt, a mental asylum.” – “I got a little boy
I’ve gotta scare the shit out of every night. (Jay laughs) I’m fucking busy. Baby, I’m packed to the gills.” – “I’m tryin’ to keep
the little bugger in line from over in Liverpool.” – He goes, “Sometimes when
people stay at a hotel, I like to fuck up their
experience a little bit.” – Yeah, “I gotta go turn
on some sprinkler systems in a hotel later.” – “Oh I gotta move a cart of
food up and down a hallway for a little bit, I can’t.” – “Oh I’d love to but
I’m blowin’ out candles in castles all night.” – (laughs) His excuse
to get out of dates. She goes, “I was thinking
we’d go see a movie.” He goes, “Oh babe,
I totally forgot. I have to walk through
the back of a picture that won’t be developed
for two weeks. No one will notice me. Oh I’ve got a photoshoot,
I hate to say it.” – “I’m sorry I have
to be the third thing under a sheet that’s hangin’ up. The first two things
are other things, but what is that
third one there? It’s gonna be me.” – “There’s so much wood
that needs creaking. I wish all the wood would
creak itself, but I can’t.” – “I’m the one
draggin’ these chains around these castle steps! And for what?” – Nothing. – “You can’t take care of one
phantom baby while I’m out?” – (laughs) That’s ’cause she, last left her boyfriend
in the Australian bush. – Oh is this fucking U.K. Hoda? – Yeah. – [Interviewer] Feeling
very sad about leaving this presence behind, but then
whilst you’re on the plane, tell us what happened then. – [Woman] So yeah,
I was really sad because in my experience. – He was sitting right
fucking next to me. He should’ve let me go. – Dude please. – He goes, “was he looking
at you through the window?” She goes, “He was running down
the tarmac next to the plane, isn’t that so romantic?” – “Stop the plane!” – [Both] “Stop the plane!” – “He was on the wing.” – You go, “that was an
episode of Twilight Zone.” – “He climbed up
the wheel well.” – Freaking out at the window, “He’s on, Phillip’s
on the wing!” (laughing) “There’s a man on the wing!?” – “Sir, what, there’s
a man on the wing?” “It’s something, phantom!” – “I need him, I’m pregnant
with his phantom baby.” – “Get him in here, he wants
to be with his family!” – She’s going to jar
the fucking door loose. – “I gotta get to him!” – “No no no no no
no no!” (laughs) – [Woman] Spirit’s
tend to be quite static and so I thought I had
to leave it behind. And then, whilst I
was on the plane, I suddenly realized
that it had surprised me and that, he had come with me. – [Interviewer] I’m
trying to understand this. Is this similar to
being possessed almost? – [Woman] No. – [Interviewer] No? – [Woman] No. – It’s much stupider than that! – “I’ve got a real question
for you, where did you fall? Where did you fall
and hit your head? ‘Cause you’re a
fucking loony one.” – “Who did it to you, girl? Who did it to ya?” – “Who did the damage? Who did it, I see you
used your SkyMiles, it’s harder to get on the plane. I’m just wondering, ’cause
someone bought a ticket, I’m sure of it.” – Could you imagine having
a girl argue with you that you’re sitting on
her fiance? (laughs) – “Would you mind
switching with my fiance?” “That empty chair over there? Why do I, why do I?” (laughs) – And she goes, “sir, we
don’t get to be together much and I just get nervous on
flights and he calms me down.” – “That’s a middle seat. I can’t do a middle seat.” – “Sir, please? Can you not think about
yourself right now?” – “I know, but I needed a, I requested a window
seat ’cause it’s a flight from Australia to U.K.” – “You’re a fucking
dimensionist.” – And he goes,
“Okay, you know what? I’ll sit, I’m gettin’ my stuff. Watch out, I think
I left my laptop. Can you move? Move your feet. – “You’re a phantomist?” – [Dan] “What is this?” – “You’re a dimensionist?” – Oh yeah, the guy,
William Shatner! There’s a ghost who’s
in love with the woman. – It’s John Lithgow
in the movie. – Yeah that’s the one I know, the Twilight Zone movie
is fucking terrifying. – “There’s something on
the wing, some thing.” – “On the wing!” – [Jay] They’re like, “is
this fucker here right now?” – “Is he looking at me? Is he touching me right now?” – “He’s been having sex with
your cohost the whole time.” – “He put his, he put his
testes in your water.” – (laughs) – [Woman] It’s similar to a
normal Earth bound relationship just, my partner
happens to be a spirit. – [Interviewer] Except it’s
not because no one can meet or see or greet or see the
love that you are experiencing so I’m trying to imagine what
this is like and I’m thinking, maybe this is like having
a really nice dream. (Woman laughs) Yeah, that you can go back into and opt into whenever you want. – She’s gotten so
good now at giggling and just knowing that
people think she’s bonkers so she just, ’cause
she just goes, you just accept that this
is what people are gonna do. You’re gonna make
up your wacky story. – Yeah, I’m happy. – Yeah yeah yeah I
outta tell people that. – She’s like, sure. I mean the balls to
go on TV and be like, yeah, I’m dating a ghost. Hi, I’m Dan Soder, I’m
in love with a ghost. – (laughs) When we come back, – I’ll reveal. – [Jay] Dan talks about
how the love cave. – Here she is. (laughs) You just gotta be like, mhmm. Yeah yeah. She’s a firecracker. – Here you go, mmm. – Yeah, I could do that right? (laughing) You go “baby, baby, no
not during the show.” – Mmmm. – You do the bite. – Yeah, I’m sidemouthin’ it. – I start randomly
getting a ghost heeg. I’d be like, whoa. – “Oh baby girl, you couldn’t
wait til we get home, huh?” – Someone’s gettin’ handsy
right in the middle of. – You go, “Oh baby
I needed that.” – You go, “Is this
weird for you guys?” Ahhh. – Ooooh, run a bit. – Bring fucking Shawn
Fury to interview. (Jay laughs) Someone’s ticklin’ my belly,
but it ain’t my belly. – (laughs) Run a bit, oooh. – I wanna, I’m
fascinated by this woman. ‘Cause she’s so full of
shit, she has to be, right? Ghosts aren’t real. – [Woman] Definitely real,
I’m definitely awake. – [Interviewer] Are
you being touched? Are you being held? Are you being kissed? Are you being, or is
it just conversation? – [Jay] All of it! – [Woman] Sometimes, yeah, it’s just like a
normal relationship. – [Interviewer] So you get
excited, you get turned on. – She keeps saying that but
it’s not a normal relationship. I lose it, I’m
guest hosting, I go. – Lady! – (laughs) I go, “Dan
any follow up questions?” “Guys, it’s not a
normal relationship.” – You can’t wear those
moron pants and come here and tell me this nonsense. – I mean, are you warming up? What are you doing? – [Woman] Sometimes. – [Interviewer] Yeah? – [Woman] Yeah. – [Interviewer] You did say
that actually on the flight back from Australia, you did
actually go into the loo and do what some people do. – [Woman] I’m a member
of the mile high club. – No, shut the fuck up! You’re a member of the mile
high club with a ghost? That is, no. – They don’t even
know what a mile is. – Yeah, it’s a kilometer,
you dumb asshole. – “We’re in the
kilometer high club.” – I mean, what an asshole. – She just did the motions
in the bathroom by herself? – She’s just lying. – “We did what people do.” He goes, “Piss and shit alone?” Like what do you mean? – She came out and she’s like, “Oh I’m feeling really randy.” – I’m sorry, she
messed her own hair up. – “Oh, oh!” She comes out silent. – [Jay] With her
tits out of her bra. – The guy sitting by the door. – [Jay] “Oh, me sorry.” – The guy sees her coming out
of the door and he’s like, “Hey, she’s in there alone.” – [Jay] Yeah. – “She’s in there alone.” – The guy on that
flight had to be like, “dude what the fuck?” – She scooped, she
scooped unstirred yogurt into the front of a condom. She goes, “Sorry everybody.” – “Physical evidence.” (Jay laughs) – “Physical evidence.” – “Sorry, I’ve got
to throw this out.” – “On the condom. Physical evidence.” – (laughs) “What you
gonna do about that?” – She’s just saying
shit that like, she should fuck one of
these Sex Island guys. – Hell yeah. – ‘Cause they would
be like, “Oh yeah, does your ghost boyfriend
like to fuck all the time?” – She’s like, “you
don’t even know but we just had a nine some.” – “A nine some. With the entire dead
Marshall football team.” (laughing) – “Well I hope you
like sloppy 31sts.” – “‘Cause I just got gang banged by the dead Marshall
football team. We are Marshall.” (laughing) “Oh Jesus, oh my god,
that’s so tragic.” “Is it, ’cause I had
sex with Buddy Holly.” – “The Big Bopper,
Ritchie Valens. My father would kill me
if I fucked a Mexican boy. (Dan laughs) Me father would not like
me to be with a Mexican boy but Big Bopper?” – Good guy. – [Jay] “Buddy Holly?” – “Oh yeah.” – “Hello human.” – “Hello human sex, oh.” Yeah, this is ridiculous. – “He’s actually lost a lot
of weight since he died.” – “He’s healthy now. (Jay laughs) We have kale smoothies
every morning.” This is so dumb. How did we just get to this? – She goes, “I like me
husband ’cause he eats a lot of pineapple, if you
know what I mean. If you know what I mean.” – “His ghost cum tastes sweet.” – (laughs) – Alright, let’s just
get a little last taste. – [Interviewer] If you
have these feelings because you imagine them, not because it’s
actually a ghost. – [Woman] Yeah I mean, for
me, I know that it’s real. And, it’s, that’s
my relationship. It’s personal and I don’t mind
so much if people disbelieve. – Your relationship’s
personal except for getting fucking railed
in the bathroom by nothing? – Yeah, man, by a stiff breeze. A stiff breeze. – Did you fuck the plunger? – (laughs) She goes,
“What, you mean Phillip?” – “Oh no, Phillip used
the plunger on me bob.” – “He’s a crazy one” – “Phillip’s a bit
of a shag master.” (hard rock music)

About the author


  1. Its AMAZING that Big Jay and Dan have a few topics scribbled on a piece of paper at the beginning of the show and with that alone they can effortlessly freestyle riff off each other for hours and spin straw into comedic gold! It's a true testament to Big Jay Oakerson's and Dan Soder's genius/chemistry! #CrackleCrackle

  2. Ghost marriage (crazy, but in a different way, marrying two dead people for example) has been a real thing across various cultures and time periods. Used to be a thing in Japan. Mormons baptize the dead, or used to anyway. Mormons baptized holocaust victims too. Totally forgot, check out "The Entity" film and book. Fucking crazy.

  3. Crackle, crackle, M-Fers. Can Billions come to it's natural end already so the Bonfire can blaze forth in full glory Ehry God Damn Day, PLEEEEEASE!! Pancho Mike is the shit, but put him on a third Mike and let's make magic happen all the work week long. I NEED THIS AND YOU DO TOO COMEDY CENTRAL.

  4. 17:53 ..Becky, my tech angel, in the building. she's such a smoke worried about her gut & what she's eating, but everything else is magnetic.

  5. same bad accents/bit for the millionth time. these two can drag-out and beat an idea/bit to death so bad. "he goes, he goes", "She's like, she goes, she goes" " I'm British I am, I am, I am, I am I am so over these lame accents and stupid 30 min bits that suck!!

  6. Or maybe the Ghost is in there freshening up after and she leaves and just some Behemoth squeezes in there after just leaving an airport bar hot & spicy chilli eating contest and starts laying heat and the Ghost boyfriend gets pinned underneath this monster and the bowl he is laying waste too?

  7. When big Jay said did you put googly eyes on a piece of shit… I can't stop laughing. I laughed when the episode aired and I can't stop again.

  8. To answer the realpolan's question, I think it was the cunty Brittish Ghost and his colony of ghost lovers

  9. jays british accent sounds australian, which is funny because i find it really hard to do an austrailian accent but its really easy for me to do an american accent

  10. This is brilliant. This sort of demented testimonial is ripe for taking out the piss. I say this as someone who was raped repeatedly by Susan B. Anthony.

  11. Whoever put these 2 together is a fucking genius🤣. I wish I could hang out with these dudes and make fun of people

  12. Fucken play the video too much back and forth forced jokes damn guys one or 2 are super funny but shut the fuck up and carry on with the show a nothing broke 35 year old lives with parents so i guess im hating ..but it gets annoying cause i like the show ..

  13. It wasn't until listening to this the second time that I noticed unchained melody from Ghost was playing in the background when they were talking about her connecting with the ghost.

  14. I wanted to marry both the Phantom of the Opera and Casper (the O.G. cartoon, and teenage Devon Sawa in that Christina Ricci/Bill Pullman '90s movie) when I was a little British girl.

    Thinking about it, obviously that's an ultimate straight female fantasy; a man who's always there, but also *isn't*.

  15. Why are Dan & Jay more attractive speaking with awful drunken quasi-Cockney, RP & Scot? Jay's Mockney is particularly dreadful, he sounds Aussie. They'd be great on EastEnders.

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