Are There Any Benefits Of Dating Before Marriage? (Islamic View)


for harms of dating the first negative consequence of dating brothers and sisters is that it has proven that dating has a negative effect on your education this is not my words there are studies that were performed they bring classrooms schools they divide the students based on their dating status not marital status not dating status if you have a boyfriend or a girlfriend you’re in a relationship stay on the side stand on this side the other ones on this side and then they look at their grades what they have noticed is that their individuals the students and this is in middle school as early as middle school what they have noticed is the students that have a boyfriend or a girlfriend they do much worse in school than those that don’t than the single ones it’s not a coincidence they it’s a study so they do what they do it so many times until they know that the cause of this is what or one of the major causes is the fact that they are in a relationship and there was a study done by the University of Georgia this study said that what we notice is the student that had a boyfriend or a girlfriend they did significantly worse in their school significantly worse not a little worse significantly worse and number two this is what the study says by the University of Georgia that what we noticed is those that used to date they were four times more likely to try a drop out of school four times more likely why only because they were dating so number one go Google let’s if you don’t believe me University of Georgia a dating so number one it has a bad effect on your education why and of course if it has a bad effect on your education the study said and what we known is that those individuals that start to date early at the end of their lives you know after they grow up they don’t get good jobs they don’t get they get the low-level jobs because if you’re not doing good in school you’re not gonna go to a good college you won’t get a good job so it will affect your career just because you are dating now why is this now they don’t mention the reason of course but one possible reason is because what is because when you start dating at that young age of course this is time-consuming you’re gonna now with all the you know with with what text messages you’re gonna spend four hours a day text messaging your loved one i love you i love you more yes this whatever let me buy you a gift you’re gonna go out with your boyfriend girlfriend you’re gonna spend so many hours with that person correct all at the cost of your study time you should be studying in those hours you’re gonna spend it behind the computer or behind the iphone just texting and sending messages so this is one another reason is because don’t think that always you know these love relationships are always gonna make us happy they’re gonna have their bumps correct what if one day the girl or the boys dumped by the other this person is gonna have one week of he’s gonna be heartbroken he can’t function he can’t concentrate he can’t study he can’t do any correct these 11 12 13 year old kids they can’t bear the responsibilities and the you know the complications of of these relationships so that’s why many times the toll is taken by what by their studies because it’s more than they can handle of course he’s not gonna be prepared for the test for the exam so this is number one number two the second according to the study the second harm of dating is what not only does it negatively affect your education but number two dating it negatively affects your behavior the same study done by the University of Georgia and I saw another study done by the University of Toronto in Canada they both said this that dating number one it they noticed that those children are those teenagers that were dating they were much more likely to lie and cheat they were much more likely to lie and cheat just because they were dating and number two what they noticed is that those teenagers that were dating they reported twice as much alcohol tobacco and marijuana use so those students that were dating they reported twice as much drug use alcohol use tobacco use brothers and sisters do you know how plagued our societies are with these problems with drugs every community I go so they tell me one of the biggest problems we have with our youth is drugs when they go into drugs this destroys your life it destroys your career you end up in gangs on the streets if you don’t overdose and probably kill yourself if you don’t commit suicide because of the depression that it causes every form and way in which my life could be destroyed it’s through drugs the study of two universities is saying one of the major causes to drugs for these young ones at school is what is dating so if we want to eliminate these harms we have to go to the roots and one of the roots we’re not saying though the only reason why people don’t do drugs is dating this is one of the reasons it helps there are twice more likely to what they require to report it twice as much alcohol tobacco and marijuana use so this is number two the harms of dating that’s why we have to be careful our children and schools and what they teach them this is number two and then number three we go to the third negative and harmful consequence of dating and this is not just for the young ones but for everyone when they ask why Islam is against dating why Islam says dating is never a solution is because dating can lead to many complications in marriage later on you see many of us even the individuals that dates they say I’ll get married one day dating has been proven to complicate your marriage later on do you know that why you see when we start young remember we said one-third of eleven year olds are dating when we start today the first time you see or very sincere these young ones they’re very sincere they are very innocent they’re honest they trust everyone and when they start dating they express their true desires and their true feelings and now how does dating happen most of it happens online so the guy and he likes this girl in his class he doesn’t go directly now it’s there’s a much easier way go to Facebook find her profile on Facebook and give her a like that’s step one now when that girl she’s 11 years old so the first time she’s gotten it like from a boy now what does she think oh this boy loves me he wants to get married to me there’s no any better she thinks this boy is gonna be her happy husband for the rest her life because he gave her a light she’s so happy for a week and then he sends her you know those emojis with the kissing emoji and now she’s sure that this person should be her husband so now what does she do now she’s food and to opening her heart now she sends him a message I like you too and then she tells him I love you so what does he do so he sends her back a message and he tells her I love you also I love you more now what this poor girl doesn’t know 11 year ago is that this guy is on the computer and he has five screens open he’s doing copy-paste I love you I love you I love you but this girl doesn’t know she’s 11 years old or it could happen to the guy the guy could be speaking to her and she’s doing copy-paste to him this poor girl thinks she’s the only one and she truly thinks this person will marry her because she’s innocent she knows better she doesn’t know any better she has no person to guide her no person that told her be careful don’t trust everyone they trust anyone and that’s why I always say brothers and sisters social media is very very dangerous to our children so this girl once again so he tells her I love you but you know what he tells he sends it every day he tells a girl I love you but she does not know that or he does not know that because it’s their first time so what happens to this individual this individual thinks that he’s in a true relationship that she or he is in a true relationship until a few months after that or sometimes a few days after they find out that they weren’t the only one do you know what happens to this child their heart is shattered their heart is broken they’re devastated they become suicidal they don’t want to eat for entire week oh because I thought I was the only one it appears I was not the only one there’s 10 there’s 15 just like me it was playing me he was fooling me or she was fooling me and playing me they’re devastated no but what happens now they’re scarred now that they’re scarred they want to go back again and date because this is what you do in America you just date and date you have to have a date always now that they go a second time they’re a little more what reserved they’re a little more careful correct because they’ve been one bit and once they go a second time but the second time they also have some problems they’re also fooled the guy dumps them whatever so now there’s card a second time and then they go a third time and and the more they go the more careful they become because they’ve been won their heart has been broken so many times until the sixth seventh time or the tenth time they begin to uh they begin to mistrust everyone any man that comes to the grow she begins to become suspicious of him why does he why is he speaking to me is he one of those bad individuals that has ten girlfriend does he just want to abuse me does he want to misuse all these what all the suspicions that come likewise the man’s thinks that oh does she just for example want to benefit from me in a certain way from my money or whatever so we become what we become so suspicious and we begin to mistrust everyone now what does that Venn Chua Lee do eventually when I grow up and I want to get married I begin to develop a long list of conditions before I get married to anyone because I have been one because I’ve been hurt so much I want to make sure I’m no longer hurt I have all these insecurities so I begin to develop a long list of conditions I want my wife to have this this this this this this is 500 conditions I want my husband to have 700 conditions 10 conditions why because I don’t want to be hurt I don’t want to be naive anymore I have to make sure he has all these qualities and brothers and sisters the more we add to the conditions the more difficult marriage will be sometimes I see in the communities certain brothers or sisters they want to get married but they have such a long list of qualities I tell them brother sister maybe this person doesn’t even exist you’ll have to search 10 20 years you won’t find them that’s why we’re getting made we’re getting married at such a late age and you ask some people why don’t you get married I haven’t found the right person you’ll never find the right person with this attitude where you put 20 conditions why did he put 20 conditions because of his dark past he doesn’t want to be her anymore you see what dating does to us it creates this insecurity within you I will not get married and then once this happens marriage will get postponed and postponed as well and once you get married what happens once you get married you tell the wife I have all these conditions every day you keep on adding a condition if you don’t like it get out of the house problems rise they meant you know that there was a woman that went to a shop and they were selling men in that shop this is only a joke don’t know don’t worry the store doesn’t exist they were selling men in that shop and she wanted to go and buy a man so she sees there is a sign there is a rule in this store what’s the rule there are six floors in the store and each floor you go up you’ll find different qualities but however the golden rule is if you go up you can go down she’s okay she goes to the first floor she sees a sign it says that all the men here she sees lots of men on display they have this quality they’re religious he says ok but that’s not enough for me she goes to level two level two she sees a sign all the men here are religious and they’re what and they’re good-looking she says ok that’s better but I want more she goes to the third level all the men here are religious they’re good-looking and they’re wealthy ok this is even better but I want more she goes to the fourth level they’re religious they’re good-looking they’re wealthy and they’re good with children ok this is even better but I want more she goes to the fifth level all that was built in the previous levels good-looking wealthy religious good with children and they’re strong physically so now she’s tempted to accept it by but then the greed once again we want more and more and more she says let me go up to the final level she goes to the final level she says there’s absolutely no men it’s empty and then there’s a sign it says this level only exists to prove that you will never ever be satisfied you’ll keep on wanting more and more and more now this is probably a joke a story but this is true for many people they’re never satisfied because they’re hurt so much in their lives they keep on adding conditions conditions conditions so I’m losing time runs and sisters this is number three and finally number four what dating does to us is that it increases the chance of divorce later how you see like I said when you’re dating you’re not bound to anyone you’re not bound to any contract correct you could leave anytime you want this is what dating is that’s why we don’t get married sometimes because we don’t want to be in a permanent relationship I want to leave whenever I feel like it now since you are in this type of relationship where you’re not bound by a contract there’s nothing forcing you to stay with that person then you can leave whenever you want let’s say one day you’re dating a girl you see another girl who’s more beautiful who’s prettier what’s gonna prevent you from just dumping your and going to the second one there’s no divorce there’s no con you never said I won’t leave you you never said it because it’s it’s just a dating relationship it’s not marriage there’s nothing to prevent you correct I don’t want any I don’t want you anymore too bad I want the other one it’s so easy you know that you just leave her there’s no divorce process or whatever since there’s nothing to prevent you this is gonna encourage you you’re not gonna be afraid of leaving changing if you change once you’re gonna say you know what this girl is more beautiful but then then again there’s a third girl that girl maybe she’s better and then you’re gonna change a second time and a third time and if that’s the nature of dating have you seen some person that just dates one person no you date you try out everyone you try out ten twenty people and that’s why I read one statistic that said an average American dates before they get married anywhere from 7 to 15 people so we keep on changing now once you keep on changing three four five times what happens eventually it becomes a habit you become addicted to changing now now that it’s become a habit you think all of a sudden you could just settle on one woman and get married to her you think you could just settle one man and get married to him your whole life you’re used to changing changing changing this man to this man for this woman to this woman all the sudden you want to settle on one woman for the rest of your life I don’t think so it’ll be too difficult because you’re so used to changing and changing and changing and this leads to two problems what number one when you get married you’ll feel like you’re in a cage because before that you were so free I could change whenever I want and I changed someone now I’m stuck to this woman for the rest of eternity or else I have to divorce and if I divorce I have correct first of all you won’t be too happy you’ll be you’ll be you’ll feel like you’re stuck and number two what will what will this do the second thing that this will do you’ll begin comparing your wife to the other ones you see if you had 50 girlfriends before now you’re married to this girl you’re gonna say you know what number seven she looked a little better in the morning number 18 her smile was nicer when I when I say jokes number 28 she laughed more brothers and sisters the more the selection the harder is it for you to be satisfied correct if you’ve had ten cars before and now you buy a car you’re gonna start comparing it to the old cars oh the cushion was you know it was more comfortable in that one the pedal was softer that I don’t know what was correct versus if they brought you a car for the first time of your life you have nothing to compare it to you’re gonna love it it’s a car it could take me from point A to point B correct the more the selection the harder it is for you to choose and be satisfied try it with anything go to a store the more the selection the more you don’t know what to buy this is what marriage done to it this is what dating the us to us because I’ve had so much experience with this woman and this man and this woman and this man I’m gonna keep on comparing my wife to those individuals and the likeliness of me being happy with my wife wife or my husband will be less and less and less because I’ll keep when I run into a problem well I try to solve it not necessarily because I say you know what the problem is in her because the other one didn’t have this problem versus if you’re a rookie the first time getting married without any dates when you see a problem for your wife what will you tell yourself you’ll tell yourself you know all marriages have problems let’s try to solve it the more you have to choose from to compare to the less likely that you will be happy with it and that’s why many people they opted for divorce I’m just not happy with her because I have so much to compare to I’m running out of time brothers and sisters and that’s why we have to teach our youth why it is very important that we don’t go down this road this road this route it will bring nothing but what but sadness sorrow I’ll affect our education and behavior so if we understand that is that in the youth they will willfully refrain from going this way

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  2. A gift from me for the Shiites 😊

    The Koran: (the angels 35)

    19 Whoever stands blind is not like who sees the right way;
    20 darkness is not like light,
    21 the shadow not the hot wind.

    22 the living are not like the dead. God lets whoever he wants hear. You cannot make your voice heard in the graves.

    23 you're for was just a warner.

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