Audience Hidden Microphones: Ellen’s Birthday Edition


All right, everyone knows before
the show my audience dances. Some people sing. Some people have
private conversations. How do I know this? Because I record your
private conversations. I have teeny, tiny,
tiny microphones. And you can’t see them,
don’t even look for them. Here’s a little bit of what
I heard in our latest edition of Audience Hidden Microphone. [MUSIC] Hey Carla, for
Ellen’s birthday I’m going to get her one
of those crazy drives with all the curlicues. You think she’d like that? Um, no. Yeah. I don’t think so. Bad idea. It’s almost Ellen’s birthday. Geez louise, why do you
keep grinning at me? Because it’s important. It’s so freaking loud. Ellen’s turning 61. That means 61 spankings. [LAUGHTER] Oh my god, Janet we have to sing
Ellen the Happy Birthday song. We have to sing it to her. They never taught us the Happy
Birthday song at Hogwarts. What should we get Ellen? I think, I think I shall
offer had this necklace. But I gave you that, from me. It’s my necklace. I know. It’s mine, it’s my necklace
I gave her, all right? Whoa, whoa. I’ve got a good idea. OK. When I turn 61, I’m
gonna have 61 beers. [LAUGHTER] Oh yeah. [APPLAUSE] I shouldn’t have to tell you
this, but that wasn’t real.

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