[MUSIC PLAYING] How’s everybody doing? Everybody all
right here tonight? [AUDIENCE CHEERING] Welcome to the show. How many of you are visiting
from out of town here tonight? Where are you guys
visiting from? Right there.
Yeah, right on the end there. Yes. Yes, hi. I’m from Calgary,
Alberta, Canada. JIMMY: You’re from Calgary, huh? Yeah. And are you guys
together, the two of you? Oh, you’re together.
OK, I see. No, I’m by myself. JIMMY: OK, I was going to
say, there’s a real size difference between you, right? Oh, and what do you do? You’re on vacation right now?
– I’m on vacation, yes. JIMMY: Yeah, how’s
it going so far? It’s awesome. JIMMY: What do you do for
work there in Calgary? I am a registered nurse. JIMMY: Oh, very nice. Very good. Do you work at a– work at a hospital? Yes. JIMMY: What area of the
hospital do you work in? Urology.
JIMMY: Oh, really? Yeah. That seems like, right off the
bat, like the worst area to be, but– but maybe it’s not, though. Maybe is it– is it, as
far as the different areas of the hospital go, is that
one of the better spots to be? Kind of. Like, people have kidney
stones, and they pass them and then they go away.
JIMMY: I see. Yeah. So you see people in a
lot of pain all the time. Kind of. JIMMY: Yeah. And how many penises a
month would you say you see? A day would be
like five or six. JIMMY: Five a day. And how many days a
week are you working? Like four or five days a week. Four or five days a week. So that’s between 20 and four–
it’s about 25 penises a week you’d say? Sure. JIMMY: About 100
penises a month. It’s a lot. [APPLAUSE] JIMMY: It’s a good–
it’s a good number. I have to say, out here, I don’t
see anywhere near that many. I’m desensitized. You ever get one– you see
one and you’re like, oh, my god! The ones that are broken? Those are oh, my god. JIMMY: Oh, they come in
broken sometimes, huh? How often do they
come in broken? Not that often. But it happens. Oh, boy. And people must be going wild
when that happens, right? And does, like, the wife or the
girlfriend come along usually? Or are they too embarrassed
and they stay home? Oh, no they’re there. Sometimes they’re even
in, like, the same bed. Just can’t really do
anything because– JIMMY: Wait a minute. [AUDIENCE LAUGHING] They’re still doing it? Like when they get there?
– No, no, no– JIMMY: They’re like,
well, it’s broken, but I’m going to finish? No, they’re just– JIMMY: What do you mean
they’re in the same bed? There for comfort, you know. I see, for comfort. Yeah, well I– [CHUCKLES] Yeah, wow. And how do they fix that? Ace bandage? It’s– Yeah, yeah. They the surgeon goes in,
cuts, repairs, wraps it up, and then you’re out of
commission for about 10– no more than 10 days. Wow. And when they tell you what
happened, do they ever lie? Or are they– I mean, they
always tell you straight up? – They tell the truth.
– Yeah. Yeah, they do. Wow, and they’re
just like, yeah, we were– it was happening. And then sometimes do
you look at the people and go, ooh, I wouldn’t expect
this from the two of you. Maybe. I wonder if it ever happens
that people that are having an affair and they’re
trying to keep it secret who they’re with. And then they’re like,
well, penis is broke, I have to go to the hospital. That’s a good point. I haven’t seen that yet. But maybe they lie. Because then you have to call
your family and say, like, hey, I have two pieces of bad news. [AUDIENCE LAUGHING] Wow, that’s fascinating. That is very–
that’s fascinating. How long you have to go to
school to get into that? Four years.
JIMMY: Four years. Wow. Wow, god bless you. I hope we never meet. I really do. [AUDIENCE LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE] I mean, in a professional way. Well, welcome everybody. We have a great show
for you tonight. Thank you for coming. Diane Keaton is here
with us tonight. We’ll meet with Diane Keaton. Gentleman who entertains
me on a daily basis from CNN, Jim Acosta, is here. And– and then I’m– was everybody here for
Beach House or– no, OK. So we’re going to be saying
the band Beach House is here, but actually– in
actuality, we’re going to go outside to see Franz Ferdinand. So thanks for coming. Are you ready to do this? Let’s keep going. If you liked that video, click
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