Being The Odd One At A House Party | Romesh Talks to Tom Allen About Being An Awkward Teenager

You’ve just been driving
for a year, right? Yeah. Have you had any road rage? Yes! So much. You turn up in a city that
you’ve never been to before and people are, like, furious that you don’t know your way
round their one-way system. Well, there should be some
plate for a car that just says, “I’m not from round here.” Not in a sort of anti-immigration
way, but, like… Just so that people get it! My mum gets road rage…
Does she? ..quite badly. A car sort of buzzed past her
and she went like this. What does that mean? Well, she thinks
it’s the wanker sign. I… So she said, “He’s a wanker!” I said, “Mum, one –
that’s not the wanker sign. “Two – I feel sorry for Dad “with the kind of hand jobs
you’ve been handing him…” Did you talk like this
when you’re at school? Yeah, I was always
quite freakishly odd. I had this voice but
didn’t…don’t know why. Always spoke differently to the
people around me. Really? Yeah. How do your folks talk? Like…London…like people here,
in this cockney pie and mash shop. And then, the thing was, cos
my family are quite ordinary, I go to secondary school,
and all the sort of normal kids would be like, “Why is he speaking
so posh? I don’t like him.” And then anybody who was
posh was like, “Well, he’s clearly not
properly posh.” So just stuck in this terrible…
Didn’t fit in anywhere. No. House parties… Yes.
..I never liked as a teenager. So what did you use to do
at house parties? I would turn up awkwardly. Yes. And then I would not know
what to say to anybody. Right. And I would spend more and more
time in the kitchen. Yes. And then I’d be like,
“Oh, I know what I’ll do. “I’ll clear up.” So I’d get, like, a bin liner,
I’d just find it, it’s always under the sink. Yeah. And then go around and start,
like, clearing away empty bottles. Oh, my God! I…is that that…? It is quite… Is it weird? Is it that…? It is really weird. I just didn’t know what to do! Like,
I literally did not know what to do. And so you’re clearing up,
and would people be grateful? No! And what would you do? Go, “Excuse me, sorry,
I know you’re trying to…” “Can I just get that…?”
Yeah, basically. It gave me something, gave me a
purpose. Otherwise, what do you do? It was a time when the girls
wanted to talk about girls’ things and the boys wanted to
talk about boys’ things, and I didn’t want to do either. So where do you go? Yeah. Under the sink, get the bin liner,
start clearing up. But also, I think
when you’re a teenager, I remember it being, like,
people would be very… It wouldn’t be very friendly. Yeah. So, like, if you were odd –
for example, if you were at a house party with
teenagers wearing a bow tie… Yes. These guys walk in, see a guy
with a bow tie and a dustbin bag, and think, “This guy
has got a butler!” This… Didn’t the fact that you
dress differently, though,
make you, like…didn’t…? Did you not go through a phase of
everyone thinking you’re the cool person because you didn’t give a
shit what anyone else was wearing? Um… There was
a brief window of that, about six months ago. But… That was about it.

About the author


  1. What's up!!!! love watching you guys!! You guys We have some XL Bullys/XL Pitbull puppies available Check us out Home of the XL Pitbull's in HoustonTx WE are Ultra!!!!!

  2. I felt like this growing up. My mum insisted my sisters and I spoke the Queen's English; we were never allowed to drop our Ts and Hs! Whenever I told her that people in school told me I talk posh, her response was always "Well they don't know how to talk properly!"

  3. No, that’s the wrong answer, darling! If no group wants you then you go find the pet: cat or dog or hamster it doesn’t matter. Then you go and let them give you kissies until your parents come to collect you.

  4. Tom is the spitting image of my son. Although tom is older, my son actually was rocking the baldy beardy look before he was. So when i first saw Tom years ago he looked nothing like my son. But now, they are 100% the spitting image of each other.

  5. Tom Allen has really grown on me. At first I didn't get him but I am getting tuned in to his style now and I like him a lot. Like Romesh too but he scares me! He's really fierce sometimes…but his sourness is endearing. Is it true he's moving to America?

  6. I usually really dislike Tom Allen, to me, he generally comes across as bitchy and not funny, but this interview made me like him so much more, I SO empathise with being the awkward 'posh' one who isn't actually posh and I've so been there cleaning up at a house party…

  7. Saw Tom Allen twice in his recent tour, the best stand up I've ever seen, and I've seen quite a few over the years. Highly recommend going to see him live

  8. Did you know that in Germany everyone has plates that show what city or county you live in? The first 1 to 3 letters tell people where you live, eg. Hamburg (HH) so they expect you to be shit at driving mountain roads.

  9. Number plates that say we are Not from around here. You mean like license plates which say which City you are from? Oh i wisshhh we had that

  10. Oh no 🤦🏼‍♀️ I used to clear up at parties too! Especially when I felt like I couldn’t talk or connect to anyone 🥳

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *