Bridal Party Showdown | Texas

You got a guy wearing in the boys
extra-small t-shirt here, very good! I’m guessing this was the table that Jeremiah had to
yell at? That’s my big fucking guess. You can always tell when one audience
member is turned the opposite way of the show It’s always a telltale sign that it
might be a table of dumb bitches, you know what I’m saying? Whoa! Whoa! I didn’t laugh at myself once when I said that. Just stayed right in the- “Wait, what did he say exactly again? “He called you a dumb
bitch Samantha, don’t look at him!” You with these girls too? Are these the wise
women back here that know: shut the fuck up and respect the artist? This fucking dummy still has her snapchat wide open right now! Let your battery rest, sweetheart. put it
out- put the- black it out. There you go! No one gives a fuck about you. I’m talking to the brunette, not you, two-toned blonde. I don’t care what you’re getting married to.
I’m talking to the best friend brunette that’s having the time of our life thinking
that we’re just making fun of you No, I’m making fun of her. I don’t attack the
bride, I go for that fucking best girl right there. the always the fucking always second never going to get a ring on that finger Oh, you do?
I couldn’t tell I can’t see Cracker Jack rings from this distance, I didn’t see. Yeah… That dude must have mowed a lot of lawns to get a ring like that. Shaking this shit up tonight, I don’t give a fuck. You happy? You enjoying yourself? Damn right! There you go… Let it rip I like this I called that shit. I’m telling
you, you got two different fucking generations of fucking women behind them
that are just representing I like your lady’s style. Those are the ones that I try to fuck, you know what I’m talking about? Those fucking Texas golden girls over here teach me a fucking, goddamn thing or two, you know what I’m saying? End of the night I want to walk out with
one of these ACE bandages that little girl has here. I’ll be sore as fuck “Thank you for being a friend” I want the Betty white one too, not this fucking- You’d think I want those fucking thick
looking hot PAWGs in the back but no! I’m going straight for fucking granny smith apples over here! No?! No chance? Get the fuck out of here! You talking about me, bitch? You like to play hard-to-get? I’ll fucking show you hard-to-get, lady! I will eat your old pussy, until it comes back alive again, I swear to God! I will just dislodge decade old cowboy semen There’s gonna be a goddamn dude spur that
falls out of there at one point. Pack of Marlboro Reds. I don’t give a fuck! I don’t give a fuck, this is Texas and this is what I come here for! I come here to have fun and get away from all the goddamn California pussies and fuck an elderly woman, you know what I’m saying?! YEE-HOO! You want it, you can’t deny it “I’m a fucking rida’ you don’t want to fuck with me” You don’t even know what the fuck I’m singing do you? [Blue Moon by The Marcels] “Why are you running away?”

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  1. Please bring kill Tony to Alaska! Tony Hinchcliffe and the band is so funny and talented, it will bring some light into this cold dark state!

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