Hey, I’m a straight red-blooded American male who in May is serving as best man at my gay best friend’s wedding The ceremony itself is very traditional, but I’m stumped when it comes to the bachelor party The attendee mix is going to be about 50/50 straight-gay with a few lesbians thrown in for color How do I throw my pal a rainbow-colored bachelor party? Please note that my friend by his own admission is a “terrible gay” and he’s expressed on more than one occasion a desire to have an Asian lady stripper at his party. — Getting Down in Durham J:Wow G: Wowsers
T:I feel like the bulk of it is already planned. Asian lady stripper. J: I mean, this is a– this is a real tough one. We don’t get many toughies like this. G: ultimately the easy answer, which is to say the not-funny answer is you give him what he wants, and I guess An Asian lady stripper, I guess that’s what you do.
T: This is my answer–
G:–the FUN answer– T: –what CAN’T you do at a gay bachelor party?
G — this is not–
J: Oh my god. You’re right. I G: like there’s gonna be a 50/50 split with some lesbians thrown in for color I’m imagining like a like a Caligulan miasma of genital delights
T: Just a bacchanal! G: What-what do you want? Cuz it’s everywhere
T: the fuckin sky’s the limit –As far as fuckin goes.
J: Earthly Delights. Put it in here! Happy bachelor party. “Sorry Dave couldn’t marry you he died last night.” T: He OD’d on hedonism.
J: Now he’s a weird sexaholic and he can only get off–
T: Drinkin’ wine out of a lady’s hair J: He set a pet rock on fire and jammed it up a guy named Dave’s anus and now that’s the only way he can finish. T: He cut himself on all the harps
J:Lacerated himself G: Oh man… J: you know he.. he uh… J: I think if you get the right Asian lady stripper then everybody will enjoy it because you gotta have one that’s high on Theater and-and-and has… is just fun You know like not as much focused on like the seduction as they are on the pageantry G: yeah… J: If you get that kind of Asian lady stripper
T: and maybe a little whimsy
J: and maybe some whimsy thrown in um, G: You could just go to traditional route and just like rent out a cabin by a lake and just go there with all of his friends with a few beers and have a classy time and then everyone just like pops a bunch of ecstasy and then like pees on a beached whale J: Just see where it goes
G: just like see what happens J: I feel like we’re– I think this is gonna be a pretty good party or the last party either which… way you’ve done your job.
G: “We all got butthole tattoos!” T: “And also he’s in prison! Sorry.”
G: Sorry J: Sorry G: Oops
J: Hangover 3 G: It’s okay though cuz his butthole tattoo looks like a shark. So no one’s gonna get near him.
J: Are we done? J: Is that all the jokes?
T: No, maybe a cake? I dunno.
J: Maybe a tasteful cake? T: Some some balloons.
J: “Hey, welcome to Cake Boss!” “This week on Cake Boss I’m makin’ a big cake shaped like a butthole for a– “for a gay guy’s bachelor party with an Asian lady stripper gonna pop out of it!”
G: “We’re makin a cake–” J: I’m [Griffin shouted over this part] just thinking about it! G: “This cake looks like a dick going into a cake shaped like a vagina” “going into a cake shaped like another vagina! Cake Boss!” T: Cake boss!
J: “Stay tuned for The Littlest Chocolatiers, by which I mean they’re inside the cake. What the fuck?” G: *laughing* What the fuck?! G: “I’m makin eight dicks today! Cake Boss! J: “This isn’t even for a party.” T: “This isn’t even being filmed right now!” G: “This butthole cake’s for Cake Boss! Cake Boss!” *laughter* *cry laughing* J: (through tears and laughter) This cake’s for … fuckin Cake Boss…