Can Sikhs have love marriages? Kaurs United Camp – Q&A #6


Yes, you can have a love marriage in Sikhi But There are certain restrictions You should start with an Ardaas That’s Okay You like her, she likes you You might even talked about it, but then before you do anything Do an Ardaas and you should tell you parents Okay? You should tell up Make it clear, there are no Gupt things in Sikhi There’s nothing Gupt Naam is Paragatt, everything is Paragatt Gurmat and everything is written down for you. There’s nothing Gupt a part from Dasam Duaar Now Therefore, we tell our parents Make it a public thing Marriage is a pubblic thing as much is a personal thing You tell your parent that you want to get married to him.. He has purposed to me He is a nice guy, what do you think? Get the parents involved Do a Hukamnama, do a Mangani The Mangani is like the engagement Set a date Don’t go around like now people do They’re dating, this stuff, they don’t tell their parents What’s that all about? Why you are hiding stuff Sikhi should be Pargatt So, you can have a love marriage but make sure you go through that way There’s a lot of question about me and Sukhmani on this by the way We have ignored tham as much as we can But We had a love marriage because no one has done a Bacholan for us But It didn’t start off with love It start off with we doing an Ardaas And the Hukamnamma saying: “Get married!” And I said: “Wow” And then I didn’t want get married that time Took me 3 months to build up to proposing But I proposed first And then, Maharaj Kirpa, she said “yes” Obviously, then it developed into love Just try not to go straight in love Think about compatibility It’s important to think about compatibility because If you think only “love” Love comes and then goes Marriage is much more than love, it’s much more about commitment Compromise Showing each other space as well There are many things a part from marriage and not just love So, don’t think Bollywood Bollywood is is going to mess you up It doesn’t work in that way ? We got to think a bit more in long term So think about compatibility, like yesterday in the skit She through out a list. Have a list of things! Say: “You should be Chardi Kala Singh” Or “You should be doing a Paath” all that kind of staff, right? Don’t have like “He likes me, that’s it!” Value yourself a little bit! So you have a list of things that you want from somebody It hasn’t to be a crazy list Like:” He must be earning this much..” At least: “He should be like believing in Maharaj” “Should be doing his Paath” “Should be following Sikhi” “Should be able to stand up for me” You men should be standing out for their women. “Should be able to stand up for me” He’s got some guts. Believes, follows Sikhi And not just talks about it Those things.. And if you got a few things “He’s like hunky guy ” That’s not too bad! But Be prepared to compromise on certain things But don’t try to compromise on your Sikhi! And it should certaily be your rule That he doesn’t bend your Sikhi down Right? Don’t let your Sikhi be broken by anybody You are going to make Sikhi to happen first. Don’t let it get broken by somebody

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  1. The old way of arranged marriage is the best way. Love marriages go against the tenets of Sikhi. Before anyone replies I urge you to contact older Gursikhs who are strict in rehat to find your answers. Modern youth ignore history at their own peril.

  2. From listening to katha/ vichar from Mahapurkhs such as Sant Baba Jagjit Singh Ji Harkhowal Wale and other Kamai wale Gursikhs… They have clearly stated that love marriages (forming a romantic relationship before marriage/ arranging your own rishta) are not permitted in Gursikhi. That's not to say the first time you meet the person you'll marry should be on your wedding day, but ideally someone (an older Gursikh) should suggest a potential rishta and then if the Singh & Singhni are interested, they can get to know one another. (No hate here, just stating what Mahapurkhs have said). 

  3. There are a number of reasons why 'love' marriages are against Sikhi and arranged marriages are the only acceptable marriage in our religion:

    1) A Sikh is to look at other's women with a good eye and treat them as mother/sister/daughter  (vice versa for women)
    2) In history, the Guru's marriages, their children's marriages, Sikh's marriages were ALWAYS  arranged with the consent of their parents. 
    3) Dating totally goes against the moral and ethical values of Sikhi. Sikhs have always been known for their high character – people would never have trusted them with their women otherwise
    4) It is extremely ungrateful of a child to go against his/her parents wishes and feel that he/she can go behind their back and not consult them on the biggest decision of his/her life. The parents who raised us and now we turn around and say to them "it's my life !". Bhai Gurdas Ji condemns such ungrateful ones and says that their so-called devotion is all fake.   

  4. My understanding was that amritdharis should not even be looking at another person with the nazaar of 'liking' them. We shouldn't be checking anyone out in that way. Isn't it for our elders or Sikh sangat to find a suitable marriage partner for us? Surely if we are looking at another in that way then we are not seeing them as mother/father/sister/brother or child and I thought it was clearly stated in Bhai Gurdas Ji's vaaran that we shouldn't be looking at anyone in any way other than once your anand karaj is arranged or has taken place.

  5. A better belief system than Sikhism (on this one issue) would be one that encourages love marriages, and not arranged marriages. Arranged marriages are to be condemned like slavery and hatred of women (approved by people centuries ago) are to be condemned. People centuries ago, including prophets/gurus, etc. were not as enlightened as people of today generally are. We've moved those outdated ways, into a bright new scientifically-based world. Science and modernity are beating ancient systems more and more each day.

  6. i think sikhi talks about the love only to god , sikhis should only marry to sikhs so that theycan raise their panth or religion , we sikhs have already done many things for other religions now its time to take care of our .

  7. Wjkk wjkf
    I'm a 14 yr old
    I believe in sggs
    Bt there're certain things about which I'm a bit confused so I would be fortunate to have u answering my questions

  8. three of my cousins married pakistani girls about none of them ran away from there parents!

  9. Sikh teachings don’t see faith as a differentiator, but as something that enables people to come to common ground, common humanity.
    If the Gurus don’t accept division in faith, caste or gender, why is it being enforced on the Sikh community? It doesn’t make sense and contradicts Sikh teachings
    I feel this organization is making Sikhs fundamentalist.

  10. If someone wants to get married but another cast people (taking into consideration of Sikhism rules)
    But if their parents don't agree for it?

  11. but question is what is sikhi
    long hair and a bana { dress }
    plz give a complete msg to all ur followers
    guru gobind singh ji de kol bahut sare sikh si but they don't hv long hair or bana

  12. Not agree with this guy. I don't know why people bring religion in Love. I think Love is above religion. I want to make few things clear. At 1:48 word comes "bichola" which is Punjabi word make from the combination of 2 words "vich" & "ohla" means someone who hides the things between two parties 😜
    Next question I come across an incident of a guy who is Sikh & religious. He is gay. Of course he is looking to find a guy, what he should do now ?? Announce everyone he is gay & want to marry a guy ???
    Religion what a joke, who gives flying f**k what religion says

  13. sikhi teaches us love , humanity. i dont believe that u cant marry the one u love. to all the orthodox dharam k rakhwale. grow up people.

  14. I know a few sikhs. They oppress women, drink way too much etc etc. I know so many who get intoxicated and beat their woman. It's so common. So many Sikh girls are dating white guys, joining the church. Correct your ways guys!!

  15. love is knowing a person at their worst and at their best, understanding them, accepting them and caring about how they feel. when it comes to romantic love, it also includes physical attraction and has to go both ways. its not projecting perfect qualities on someone who managed to put his best foot forward so far or simply had the halo effect working for them.(the way hollywood portraits love) love should come before marriage. always. in any culture. any belief system that says differently is retarded. also, making a list and not actually getting to know a person is a great way to invite toxic people into ur life. they will do their best to fit the list in a way no one has ever done before and u can spend months if not years in misery trying to kep a person around coz they fit a list of arbitrary bullshit just to find out it was all pretty much a lie at the end.

  16. It would have been great to hear this sikhia in my younger years….On reflection,it's all true…dont date.

  17. Is it okay to listen to prays whilst your head is not covered? For example on the way to work in a car or off your phone when you have time?

  18. I am a Canadian White guy who finds Sikh women shockingly beautiful. I have to look at them but it seems they always know what I'm thinking. I was raised without religion as is very common here, but it makes me wonder about reincarnation. Maybe I was married to such a perfect woman in a previous life. .

  19. I am a Christian and I love that the message this man is saying. Would love for him to come to schools and teach or young men and women about what relationships are and to never devalue yourself. Much respect! I have watched debates and really am impressed with the Sikhs and how they carry themselves. 🙂 God bless!

  20. Every human has a right to choose his or her partner belonging from any religion caste,gender etc,im a sikh i dont believe this bullshit

  21. Waheguru ji
    Sawal ta e hone chaide ne

    Asi kitho aaya
    Asi kaun hai
    Asi Kithe jaana e matlab mukti kida paani e

    Asi us Nirankar da ansh ha

    Man tu jot saroop hai

    Asi kitho aaye ha
    Us nijghar to
    Nijghar baiso arjan pyaare satguru tumre kaaj sware

    Asi mukti kida paani e

    Vichaar mare tare taare
    Ult joon na aaye

    Waheguru gurmantar da jaap karke apne vichhara nu khatam karna e te

    Te Waheguru da jaap karke haume mar gai
    Ta prapti ho jaani e
    Waheguru gurmantar hai
    Jap haume khoi

    Te jado Main mar gai ta

    Waheguru naam jahaz hai
    Chare so utre paar

    🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
    Waheguru ji ka khalsa
    Waheguru ji ki fateh

    Jado Asi gurmantar de jaap naal man di safaai kar liti ta
    Us man Bache di fateh ho jaande e
    Kyouki o man vichara to rahit ho gaya hai
    Khalsa ho gaya hai

    🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

  22. 🙏ਜਰਨੈਲ िਸੰਘ ਜੀ ਿਭੰਡਰਾ ਵਾिਲਅਾ ਨੂੰ ਸੁਣੋ……िਸॅਖ िਕਸੇ ਵੀ ਧੀ ਭੈਣ ਦੀ ਇਜਤ ਵਲ ਨਹੀ ਤਕਦੇ ….ਇਹ lov mrg ਤਾ ਬਹੁਤਦੂਰ ਦੀ ਗਲ ਅਾ ਵੀਰ 🙏ਪਤਾ ਨਹੀ ਤੁਸੀ िਕਥੋ ਪੜ िਲਅਾ….Sikhi nu daag na lao…..don't propagate wrongs….in sikhism….he is saying it bcoz he is brought up in that society…..so plz don't go with his words……

  23. Sir I have 1 question what Sikhism says about shivling .. Someone said me it's written in gurugranth sahib ji … Ek pathar par rakha Pao ek pathar par ki ja dhao ,. I am little confused Tell me what Sikhism says about shivling in gurugranth sahib ji

  24. What Shri guru grahth sahib ji says ,. If a person divorce wants to remarriage can he take fare I mean circles around guru grahth sahib ji again or not , how he can perform the marriage 2nd time ? As in Hindus they are not allowed to have circles around fire and can't do kanadan 2 nd time if want to marry 2 nd time , … Plz reply soon

  25. What Shri guru grahth sahib ji says ,. If a person divorce wants to remarriage can he take fare I mean circles around guru grahth sahib ji again or not , how he can perform the marriage 2nd time ? As in Hindus they are not allowed to have circles around fire and can't do kanadan 2 nd time if want to marry 2 nd time , … Plz reply soon

  26. Didn't paid attention to what he said but being a sikh yea i can clearly a sikh can do love marriage with any person of any caste,any race, any creed, any religion because in Sikhism everyone is equal basically a human so even if u r doing love marriage its simply a person(human) marrying another person(human) he/she loves nothing else …….. !!!! Waheguru mehar kre

  27. So as a Sikh we should not have Love Marriage… But if we fall in Love we can tell our Parents First and get engaged and get Married that seems to Right Step❤❤❤💎💎💎 Thank you Basic of Sikhi🙏🙏🙏

  28. As per 52 HUKAMS of GURU GOBIND SINGH JI ..his sikh should not have physical relation before marriage.But at the same time if one gets caught in MOH(attraction) then he must get engaged and married at the earliest.

  29. As a muslim I can say I don't agree with some of the things he says , But he does have a amazing way of explaining things in all the posts I have seen so far ,

  30. What matter the most, is the sole motive …. If both of you are nitnemi , kirti, true to guru , and sole motive is marriage , then going ahead is not a bad thing , but make sure you are in crrtain limits like not to think of or doing of vulgarity , guru and gurbani should be your priority and the last thing , always do ardass to guru to stop you , if u doing something wrong ….. dekh prayian changian , maavan dheen ……… Jithe kitte b pavitra hai mera guru hajir hai , make sure your intention is not just because of kaam , it should be pure divine and spirtual ,, bhul chukk maaf

  31. I can see many Sikh guys marrying outside their race in the future. The divorce rate is ridiculous as many girls are high maintenance and fall unhappy in marriage. Then you get a stupid amount of the deluded type that want a 6 foot good looking man, with a three figure salary who owns his own house as a basic just to date. They'll only look at a guys character after that 'basic' criteria. Sikh guys have been brought up to make effort with these girls. Do not waste any more life on them. Look outside your race. These girls age badly after the age of 35 too and the main thing they put on the table is unhappiness.

  32. It's not that simple… My parents are not that understanding… They don't get it …. We did Ardas. .. but parents…… Age gap… I'm 20. My partner's 24 …. I'm still studying…. Parents…. Dad's gonna kill me…. Because I've always been told to not to get into it…. Not to talk to guys, girls who are into relationships …. Nd my partner being 24, he's being pushed into marriage by his parents they're searching a girl for him nd it hurts me…. Nd it's not working we're both amritdharis … He's tyar bar tyar baane wale Singh…. I can't disclose it to my parents…. They'll break, get hurt, nd maybe disown me…. I'll lose that trust…… Donno what to do?

  33. Why they married to sleep in a separate room,,, in my culture we do it everyday and when we just married we make love all night ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

  34. If a Sikh guy marriage any girl she accepted the surname, but when it comes to a Sikh girl it's different in the case..it looks so weird if any non Sikh guy surname the kaur.. "kaur" is our identity don't change it for anyone.. Our gurus ji has given that.. So think about that.. Nowadays it's very difficult for a girl I understand but if U know ki mera kisi hor religion Nal future hi nhi h ta.. Tuade male frnds vi sikh banaoge.. And u know that from beginning yes I have to marriage with Sikh boy..

  35. I taken at wedding it's protection by nameless I wasn't in bed making but it was because of the why did he grab my sons act like it was for board up service in board and Care board of education in board of recognition and board of appreciation of the younger age to the altar as you walk through and worked with the application centers with the same ones that you work just as a child as soon as you want to have the same window but not a stocking project but a good energy level but not using your energy for your Bass thank you and have a good day man g

  36. Ok what if a Sikh teen dates but it’s not a physical relationship it’s just like mental, as in nothing physical happens. And also if your older and you’re at the age of marriage can you have a love marriage as in find someone yourself and show your parents to see if they approve as well so oh can get to know the other person and have a stronger relationship. I would love an answer soon

  37. However beside separately from Sikhi, we know Punjabi families have a different take on the societal norms on these subjects which only invite people of the similar village caste that pleases the family Jatt + Jatt or Sikh Jatts. Punjabis do observe background caste. But also if they similar shade of skin colour and educational level attainment in best interest, but however in the best interest of two romantic lovers.

    The rest of Indian men and women are known to be demasculine and defeminine no offense intended. The country is highly unequal, the diet and water population, natural disasters. The historical oppression, slavery, illiteracy and corruption, literally cows on the street and people taking TikTokd in risky stunts. Ancient India was the home of Dharma and spirituality. Kashmiris freedom fighters, Khalistanis, Pakistani Zindabads and Tamil Tigers dislike weird India government.

    However in history Punjabis were warriors, martial race qualities and colour coded racism. Punjabi caste system pretty much like the class. It’s occupational since British rule.

    However Punjabis men are highly masculine and women are becoming feminine, they play more sports and more diet, games like Kabaddi on the field and do anabolic training, fitness and encourages toughness through culture and speak up which is very good for Punjab,

    But the problem drinking alcohol, criminalized behavior (eltah). But until the Sikh politics in homeland of Khalistan. Many Sikhs were emergent to remind Punjab that it was the home of Khalsa.

    But Sikhs are empowering and even stronger spiritually and militarily, Punjabi were chosen for Khalsa Panth at Guru Gobind Ji time for all backgrounds. Sikhi can turn anyone strong with open door to training, and were historically made in battle with Khalsa as ‘guardians of Sikhism’. Battle of Saragarhi shows the fierce bravery aswell as WW1.

    Sikhi isn’t just for Punjabis. Sikhi should spread worldwide.

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