Challenges To Overcome Before Marriage For Muslims


and you would be surprised my dear brothers and sisters how many times I ask young men on what you know I asked them they’re single why don’t you get married and usually the most common answer I get the most common excuse I tell them brother you know you should get married you’re 20 21 22 23 I think this is the perfect age for marriage why don’t you get married the most common answer that I usually get is what money say yeah I’m not financially capable I’m not well established financially yet and that’s why he doesn’t get married or sometimes you’ll find the girl or her father they will reject the proposal of some brother because they’re not fully established now what did they mean by fully established they mean he has to have a house he has to have a nice car he has to have anywhere from fifty to a hundred thousand dollars in a savings account and he has to have a good occupation a good you know job occupation making at least 70 80 90 thousand dollars a year only then yes this person is ready for a merge so it’s all about money money money wealth wealth that’s all what matters in the marriage now here are two points about this brothers and sisters about this excuse number one you find that allah subhanahu wa’ta’ala in the quran he says that did not make money in obstacle money should not be an obstacle like I said the leading factor of yond men not getting married today is what is money is because I’m not well established here the Quran brothers and sisters says do not make money in obstacle Allah says in your Norfolk Allah Allah and follow if they are not doing so well they are in need allah subhanho wa taala will take care of them and you would be surprised not only does Islam Allah spano to Allah say that don’t make money and obstacle but in fact are a hadith indicates that amongst the actions that make you richer and wealthier and increase Allah sustenance Elizabeth to you is marriage can you believe that it has the opposite effect you would think if I get married I’ll have to now not only support myself support another person so I’ll be worse financially Aslam says no get married Allah will increase your Rizk you see there are many money you could do special two-hour special salah specials things to do so that Allah increases your ISM your sustenance amongst those actions is marriage I saw up to nine a hadith from the Holy Prophet and the Imams all saying this and one hadith a man comes Allah to Allah he tells me our Azurill I’m in need I’m not doing so well financially what I tell him go get married young man is surprised one hadith says he came the next day the third day so loud tell him the same thing he would he thought us well I wasn’t getting what he was telling him so he objects to Allah how what do you mean get married he tells him get married the hydeia says he got married and allah subhanaw taala increases ilysm allah subhanahu wa ta’ala increase his sustenance and he started to do better off now now this we read in the hadith and we read in the quran but unfortunately we do not always trust this you know this fact how is it that if I get married and if I’m not well established yet allah subhanahu wa’ta’ala will increase my resume i’ll give you an example from today right now studies and statistics prove this point I don’t know if any of you have read about this but there is a term in economics called the marriage wage premium has anyone heard about that Google at tonight writes three words marriage wage premium what is the marriage wage premium labor economists they say that a married man begins to make much more money than a single man as soon as he gets married he starts as his income starts to skyrocket how much more they say anywhere from 10% to 50% as soon as he gets married nothing changes same job same work the only thing that changed is his status from single to married with that change of status his income increases his wage increases up to 50% and this is called the marriage wage premium and there are many studies performed by economists trying to understand why this phenomenon exists why why do married men make more than single they bring you two identical men they are the same age they have the same degree from the same College the same race the same background the same everything the only difference between them one is single the other is married the single man makes 50% more what does this prove to you any hakuna matata yoga Himalayan tumbler and subhanAllah they say those same men as soon as they get divorced once again their income falls down it’s bad a lot as long as you’re married there’s a guarantee there is a push there’s something that’s helping you now is it because married men are more motivated than single men is it because they know that they have a spouse they have to provide for and thus they have a sense of responsibility and work harder there’s many there’s many you know theories about that but the point is then married men make more money than single men and this proves that point that we should not make money and obstacle Allah says in the Quran we don’t trust him but once we see an economist saying oh this is when we say it’s right we have more trust in economists than we have in a las manos unfortunately so so brothers and sisters the Holy Quran says do not make money and obstacle a las Panama to Allah will help them now of course we’re not saying just go and you know sleep in your house allows in their money no do what you have to do go to college get a degree go get a job but if you’re not doing so well that shouldn’t prevent you from getting married you’re working you’re trying to get there allah subhanho wa taala will help you he’ll give you the push and help you so this is the first point do not make money and obstacle the second point that we have to keep in mind brothers and sisters is why is it that our marriages have to be so extravagant why is it that we have to spend so much on our marriages why is it that we have this perception that I have to be well established and then only then get married who said this is correct sometimes there are certain beliefs that we have that the Quran says my lost parents are never taught us this we have this belief we have this idea that I shouldn’t get married until I’m fully established where am I getting this from who said this is correct why can I run to the first few days the first few months why can I live in my parents basement why can’t I live in one room in my parents house if there’s a private bathroom for it what’s the problem with it why does it have to be a expensive car and a house and a you know nice job No before I got married I was living in a small room with a shared bathroom and she was living in a small room initiative why is it that now we want to live together has to be so extravagant why what’s the reasoning behind that what’s the wisdom behind it yes it’s good but if I can’t why should that prevent me why can’t we start simple living in one room sharing the same kitchen with my parents or her parents what’s the problem with that is there anything wrong with that is there anything wrong about that why is it that we have this perception that no I have to have my own big house or my own apartment in my own car and job and honey why are we getting this from do we follow and obeyed or we follow other people if I follow and obey Thomas schiavelli they’re telling me this is correct incorrect how many brothers I know when they got married they lived in a room there was a room small room and a bathroom besides and they lived in their parents house a few months after that a few years after that they were financially capable of renting or buying how much marriage would be easier because of that brothers and sisters why can’t we make our marriage simple and then you have the weddings how much do we spend on weddings an average Australian you know how much they spend on a wedding just google a– $36,000 do you know how many people they are discouraged of getting married just because they know they don’t have $36,000 who said I have to have a big lavish wedding why can I have a simple wedding that costs one two thousand dollars or even less why well that make me a better person well that take me closer to Allah if I spend more and more on weddings I remember I heard I’m sure you heard of it about this a couple of years ago there was a a I don’t know if he was a Muslim but an Arab person here in Australia he spent some you know some number I can’t remember millions of dollars on his wedding it was the most lavish wedding of all time what was the number one couple of hundreds of millions something like that I don’t remember a billion 1 billion 1 million I spend 1 million dollars just on a wedding panel I’ll go and see that person probably his divorce right now such a marriage that begins with such a you know lavish way millions of dollars on a wedding you expect it to last when it’s just based on materialism money wealth it’s not gonna last obviously I read in in the news of you maybe a year ago there’s a couple in Turkey they get married they have saved I don’t know 20 30 thousand dollars for their wedding so pan Allah they make such a noble decision before the wedding you know what they do they cancel their wedding they take that twenty thirty thousand dollars and they make a food drive for the refugees of the Syrian refugees they were able to feed twenty thousand refugees instead of having a lavish wedding do you think that is better or having a lavish wedding they cancelled Lantana an old bear had a tomb for Kamata twenty thousand refugees were fed rather than having a wedding that you’ll have two hundred three hundred people invited who said I have to have a lavish great wedding and thousands of people and spent thousands of dollars and run where are we getting our ideas from who’s teaching us this if we are Muslim and we’re followers of a debate and they tell us this is wrong and subhanAllah studies as statistics prove the more you spend on your wedding the less your your marriage will last read about it there is a study by Emory University in the u.s. it shows that those people that spent less on their weddings their marriages lasted much longer than those that spent more those that’s flourished the more you spend the more likely your marriage will not last the more simple your marriage your wedding is the more it will last but when I have a highly emotional tell us this unfortunately we say oh these are just hadith in the book we read them for Baraka for blessing when it comes to applying them implementing them in our lives we feel and at the end of the day I’m the one that will benefit from these hadith and from these teachings of anyway they won’t benefit why would they care if I follow their teachings or their teachings are for me to benefit from brothers or sisters

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  2. Brother money issue is a real reason not excuse shia have neglected the quran and ahlulbayt making culture take over religion making it hard for us men making us fall into sin we are the oppressed people !!!!!! You are against imam mahdi not us

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