Cops, Cars & Karma ft. Mark Dohner 👮 MTV’s Greatest Party Story Ever


– Hi, I’m Mark Dohner,
and this is the story of how the karma police caught up with me. It was the winter of my
senior year in high school and I was working at the
ski resort in Hudson, Ohio. Basically what my job was
is I was a lift operator and I started and stopped
the ski lift to put people up the hill. It wasn’t a mountain, we were in Ohio. Don’t tell anyone this but
I actually didn’t apply for the job I just got
it because my brother worked there and he was actually my boss. And don’t get me wrong,
it sucked sometimes having my brother as my boss but
this particular night, it was awesome. A girl from my school was
throwing a huge party because her parents were going out of town. My crush, she was gonna be there. So me, naturally, I had to be there. I asked my brother if
I could go to the party and get off work early. It happened to be a not
busy night, so he was like, “Yeah bro, why not, go have fun.” (bleep) yeah! So by the time we get to the party, everyone was (bleep) faced. We hopped in, we started
dancing, grooving. I started talking to
the girl, like I’m like, “Hey girl, what’s up?” While we’re having a good time, you know, grooving it out little
did we know that the girl down the street who’s a total tattle tail was calling the police
because she had a little FOMO and wasn’t invited to the party. So she’s on the phone
she’s like (imitates ring), “Hello, yes, there’s a
party going down the street. I’m not invited but they’re
drinking alcohol, bye!” So I’m sitting there
chatting it up with the girl that I potentially could
be marrying in the future and then boom, boom, boom. Everyone’s like oh (bleep) the
cops are here, what do we do? Some people are going out the back door. There’s cops back there
because they knew what was up. They’re tackling people. Other people are getting away,
other people are falling into ponds trying to swim. I don’t even know what’s going on. Me, being an idiot and just
an innocent dude, I froze. I didn’t know what to do, I was like, “Ah, I can’t run from the cops.” So I stayed there, in the
basement, tucked in a corner, by myself sucking on my thumb. Open the door, cops come down. You’re coming with me, I’m the law, ugh! And I’m freaking out, I’m like all right, I’m gonna get arrested. So he takes me outside, tells me he’s gonna give
me a field sobriety test. You know with the whole eyes
looking at the finger thing and touching your nose and whatnot. And I’m like, oh, bro,
I’m good I haven’t even had anything to drink
because I was just at work. I just got here. Everyone else is (bleep) faced, but me, Mark Dohner sober. So he gives me the field
sobriety test thinking I’m gonna fail. Blew his mind, passed
it with flying colors. I felt so relieved. I didn’t get in trouble. I learned from this one and I was like, “Yo, this will never happen again.” The very next night, my
buddy was dog sitting at some random house that he was like, “Yo, let’s throw another party.” I’m like bro, you’re
(bleep) crazy like we just got busted last night. He’s like lightning doesn’t strike twice. I’m like hmm, let me think
about it for a second. Fine. Everyone shows up including
the girl that I had the major crush on back in high school who I was talking to the night before. I’m like yo, let’s pick
up where we left off, keep it in the pocket baby. So just when I’m starting
to make a little progress with this girl, I’m getting
close to sealing the deal, we had all the blinds
closed and we see lights, flashlights outside through the blinds. We scram, we hide. I go upstairs, I hide in
the bathtub with the shower curtain pulled up with my buddy and then bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. This is the police, open up. Some dumbass, who knows why, goes and opens the door. Why would you open the door? So they’re scrummaging around downstairs, we hear ’em, we’re sitting up there panicking, we’re like what do we do,
I don’t know what to do? My buddy’s like, “Well
maybe we should just go down and turn ourselves in.” Terrible plan! So I’m
like, bro, I got an idea. I’ll call my brother. He’s been through shit like this before. He’s gotten in trouble. He’s much older than me,
I’mma see what we need to do. (imitates phone ring) I’m in a bathtub with
a curtain blocking me. There’s cops downstairs at
this party that just got busted I don’t know what to do. – Well what do you want me to do? – Oh I don’t know, you’ve been
in these situations before I need your help! – Well can you get out any way? – And I look, right there, above the toilet, a window! I was like all right,
there’s a street behind us. Come grab us. He’s like all right, I’ll be right there. So me and my boy, we hop
outta the shower curtain. We hear the police, they’re
like on their way up the stairs stomping like doosh, doosh. This is the police (imitates sirens). We pull up this window, we both get out, we drop down. Hurt a little bit, not gonna
lie but we’re sprinting right faster than we’ve ever run before. We’re Usain Bolt, the crowd’s cheering. We get to the street behind me. My brother’s there. We hop in the back of his car, scurt! We got away Scott free, two for two! I’m sitting there like,
yo, I’m untouchable. No one can stop me, not
even the police baby. But, you know karma’s a real thing. So I was wrong. Fast forward a couple days. My brother lets me off
work early yet again. I’m driving home and I get a text. I look down at my phone to see who it is and it’s the crush, the
girl that I was at the first two parties with. I’m like yeah, winner, winner,
chicken dinner, let’s go! In the time I looked
down and looked back up, the car in front of me
had stopped to turn left. I slammed on my brakes. The roads were sloshy. Slide into the back of the pickup truck. I’m in a little baby
car, you know first car a nice little sedan. Go straight underneath the
back of the pickup truck. I’m (bleep) And even worse, before
we even have the chance to call the police I look up
and guess what I’m in front of? The police department. Before we could even get out of our cars, guess who rolls up? (imitates sirens) This is the police. Comes up to me goes oh,
looks like you were following a little bit too closely here. Wait a second, weren’t you the guy from the party the other night? Party? Nah, that wasn’t me. I don’t know what you’re talking about. Anyway, getting back to the accident. He’s like hmm, mkay. We’ll here’s a ticket
for driving too close, not maintaining a safe distance. So then I go to hop back in my car, turn the ignition, my car wouldn’t start. Not only did I just get a ticket, now I gotta call my dad. Oh, Greg Dohner, this is me, what’s up? I’m like hey dad, I got in a car accident and my car won’t start. Loses his marbles! Fuming at me! My dad rolls up, he gets
outta the car, he’s red! He reams me out right there on the street, doesn’t care right in front
of the police station, no worries in the world. He took away my driving privileges for the next five years. Every school year, every
summer for five years until I moved to Los Angeles
and I bought my own car. So, moral of the story is, a couple things. Absolutely do not text and drive and karma is a bad bitch
and you gotta respect her. Thank you guys for watching, I hope you guys enjoyed
my crazy party story. I hope you guys have some
crazy stories of your own. And if you guys wanna
check out anymore of the crazy party stories, click
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  1. Check out MTV's Greatest Party Story Ever featuring your favorite YouTubers like Sam & Colby, Kian & JC, Ashly & Imari + MORE!🤩 👅 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ISFnJLmehZo&list=PLBPLVvU_jvGs4D3BfphMsTCmQAA5IVApk

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