-Welcome back to the show. -They like us
hanging out together. -They like us hanging out.
-It’s fun. Thanks, guys. -Today’s a special day for all
of us because that you’re here,
first of all. We love having you here. But, also,
today is your birthday, buddy. -Happy birthday.
-Oh, that’s… [ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪ Happy birthday. -And, yeah, you don’t like to
make a big deal. -Oh, no. No big fuss, Jimmy.
-What are you going to do? Do you have any plans?
Anything for your — -Oh, we were going to dinner.
Me and you, right? -Yeah.
-You’re invited. -No, me and you
are going to dinner. I didn’t know if
you wanted to tell everybody. -Yeah. No, we’re going to
dinner, and then — -We’re gonna go to
dinner tonight. Wow. I’m so psyched. -I try to invite anybody rich, because I just want
somebody to buy, ’cause I’m gonna eat
and drink a lot, and — -And you’re not
paying for it, obviously. -No, no.
I’m calling all credit cards. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep!
-Oh, my God. -I called Chris Rock.
He goes, “I’m in Toronto.” I go, “You can call in
a credit card. I mean, you could surprise me.”
-Yeah. -But, no, it’s —
Oh, one time, you know, I tried to —
You know, Sandler — We always talk about all these
names, not to name-drop — yes, to name-drop —
but also because of old “Saturday Night Live” stories. But Adam once — He always buys
me dinner, you know? He’s a nice guy, and his
wallet’s about 10 feet tall. And then he has to
bend it closed. [ Imitates creaking ] But we were all out —
Or I was out at dinner at some fancy restaurant, and then they go,
“Mr. Sandler’s here.” And I go, “Ooh!” I play it down.
I go, “Who cares?” You know. But then he’s got this whole
back room with 15 people, and they’re having some
big birthday party or something. So, I go in there and I do a few
thirsty bits to get attention. Gross.
And then I come back. But then, when I leave, I go —
It was so sickening. I’m like, “I’m your waiter”
or whatever. -Yeah, yeah. I did that.
I’ve done that. -Everyone’s like, “Get lost.”
-I’ve done that bit. -Yeah. So I go, “All right.” And then, when I leave, I go, “Hey, put this on, you know,
my Discover Card” or whatever. So I charge theirs. The guy goes,
“Sir, his whole thing?” I go, “Yeah.
I’m on TV sometimes. What are you worried about?” So, he goes, “Sure.” You know, and then I’m like,
“Bo-o-o-ing!” Anyway, so, the next day, Identity Guard
calls me and says, “Someone stole your card.” I go, “They did?”
They go, “Yeah. There was some
$9,000 dinner last night.” I go, “Oh, my God.” I go, “That was me.” They’re like,
“It couldn’t have been. You’re not that generous.” I go, “No, I was buzzed.” -You’re not that generous?
-No, no, no, yeah. -They told you that?
-They knew. They could tell. My scrimp —
“We’ve gone over your tips and we realized
you’re a bit of a scrimper.”