DISGUISED TOAST FINDS LOVE l OFFLINETV DATING SHOW


Tonight longtime loner Disguised Toast will finally look for his future significant other. A harem of potential candidates are gathered just a few rooms away. Toast will ask each of them a question and select his favorite three before moving on to the final round where they’ll be subjected to a more intense questioning. At the end of the night, Toast will select one lucky participant to be the winner. There is a catch though. All of this will be done blind with voice modifiers. Freedom in relationships I think is uh, I think it’s very important. This is: gaming’s most eligible bachelor! So we’re here with Disguised Toast; can you please tell me a little bit about yourself? My name is Disguised Toast. I play Hearthstone on the Internet for entertainment of children in exchange for money. Okay, so how long has it been since you’ve been in a relationship? It has been six long, long, years. Six years is a very long time. Yes. Um.. Why did you decide after six years of inactivity that all of a sudden you’re going to go on a show and try to find love? I’ve tried every dating app, every website, every bar. Nothing has worked. This is my last resort. If I don’t find love tonight, I’m going to *censored* [kms] Well thank you very much for your answers and best of luck. And now we’re going to go on to the interviews for the contestants from gaming’s most eligible bachelor. Hi there, um, my name is Leslie, and I’m here to meet my future husband, Disguised Toast. He’s pretty much the Prince Eric to my Ariel. I’m also not very good at games, but hopefully I can impress him in other ways. Hello, number one. My question- Hello! My question to you is what is your favorite song? Oh, um, well My favorite song is actually called “Part of Your World”. Um, and, funny enough I actually Oh, please. Please go ahead Look at these girls then look at me. I know the choice isn’t easy. Toast won’t you Wow that was uh, really, really amazing. Such a beautiful voice. You, you wouldn’t happen to be a mermaid by chance, would you? *small gasp* Oh wow, um could I ask which part of you is the fish and which part of you is the human is the upper half the human? Or the lower half the human? Uhhh Unfortunately, that’s probably not gonna work for me. I’m going to need the bottom half to be human because um.. Well you understand, thank you very much. Why will Toast choose me? So, contestant number two, can you tell me just how important freedom in a relationship is to you? I think in order to stay very like safe and happy in a relationship We should tell each other everything that we’re doing at all times And I just love my boyfriend so much that I just can’t imagine a world without him. I’m even planning my future; I would want no less than six to eight kids And I just think it’s very important to find somebody who shares these ideals with me. Umm Six to eight, huh? *muttered under breath* you know it’s gunna be a wreck down there.. Um okay Thank you so- *clears throat* My name is Xella, and I just came in Just two minutes ago. They found me. I was just down the corner and You know I think Toast needs a girl with a little bit of experience Ask away, honey. Contestant number nine How often, would you like to be intimate with your man because physical intimacy is the important part of any relationship Okay, so it’s like as often as I wanted? Friends? I’m not familiar with that term Uh I think I think there may have been some mistake? Did someone let.. Is this a real contestant? They they brought me in just a couple minutes ago, I was just down the corner Okay well Thank you very time the security will probably come get you and escort you out Hello, is this thing on is this thing on? Ma’am sir, whatever you- Where’s my- You gotta- you gotta go. Listen, you’re out of control- Hey I need some cash! Will you send $200- Hi, I’m Asuna and today, I’m hoping to find the love of my life The perfect solo gamer swordsman the one that will capture my heart. Contestant number three as you know video games are a huge part of my life. How important are video games to you? I mean, video games are so important to me to the point that like I feel like if I die in a video game It’s like I die in real life. They’re very very very important Like would you say that it’s pretty much your life? Yes, entirely. Alright intro it’s here oh How do you feel about your competition? All I know is that I don’t see her wearing a shirt that says “Joast” She has a point. Where did you get that sweater by the way? Oh well, I had it custom made. Wait really? No.. no. We saw you buy that. I’m sorry, Albert, we’re gonna have to walk this way. Anyways *ahem* I just think that there’s no competition other than me because no one loves him as much as I do. I have stalked every single one of posts- Okay thank you very much- I’ve literally- I KNOW WHERE HE LIVES! I- So contestant number four what is your idea of the perfect date? Um what kind of food do you usually eat? Ah, yes, the finest cuisine Gotcha Yes Hi, how’d it go? Good. Hey, I’m Scarra. You may know me I’m famous high elo League of Legends player. Challenger. So contestant number five. My question is do you believe and love at first sight? No? Okay Thank you Hello? Hello? Yes, hi all right hi Contestant number six. What is the most important quality in a man? I- I prefer that he’s not real and 2d, preferably. Oh, you prefer.. anime men? Do you have like a example of your favorite anime character? So you like those dark-rooting, successful, perfect types? Hi, I’m Tiffany, and I’m really excited to meet Toast. I heard he has a lot of money and I’m really excited Hi contestant number seven What do you find most attractive in a man? when a guy deposits 10k in my bank account Does personality, and you know intelligence matter? I can’t tell who’s the bitch *sassy snaps* Excuse me?! You heard me guurl you wanna go- What’s up, my name is Jamie. but they call me “J-Sizzles” around my block. I’m here for Disguised Toasts’ f-f-fame- I mean love. So, contestant number eight. As you know I’m a very big deal and very famous. Is that something you’ll be able to handle? Having a famous boyfriend? F*ck yeah! Yeah I’m all about that fame. In fact, I prepared a rap for this. Producer, give me a beat. Okay, I’ll give you a beat Follow me on Soundcloud Peace. sound cloud- okay that was gr- your flow was- I’m Frederica and I have a big personality Yeah Hello? yes, hi. I’m Disguised Toast. I play Hearthstone. Alright we’re done here thank you. uuuuUUHHH- ALRIGHT Can someone get this *censored* out of here? I don’t think he liked me. and that was the conclusion of our lightning round. that was very exciting. so out of all the contestants who stood out the most? So there was three that caught my eye. number four because we share the same interest in cuisine McDonald’s and There’s also number five who gave a very blunt and realistic answer to you know relationship and Relationship is realistic. It’s not all rainbows and butterflies sometimes you end up with someone You don’t really want to be with but you can’t find anyone and you Like why not settle for a bit And also number eight was pretty good She gave us a very great rap and it shows me that she’s creative and puts in effort So I would say four, five, and eight. Alright that all sounds very interesting. We’re going to move on to the final round but not before this quick commercial break Are you a fan of offline TV? Want to show your support but don’t know how to do it? Well now your worries are over! Here’s my paypal at LilyPichu- LILY! I mean uh, head over to offlinetv.gg/merch and check out some of our sweet apparel We’ve got everything! From clothing, to clothing. Now you can show your undying love and devotion to us by buying our merch! Once again that’s offlinetv.gg/merch! So what are you waiting for? Click that link and start buying! First fifty orders can get a limited edition shirt personally touched by Toast himself- Welcome back everyone. We’re gunna dive right into the final round with all the contestants that made it this far. Are you excited? Yes. Alright. so my question now is that let’s say you have a million dollars What would you do with it? What would you invest in? Bitcoin? No. And would you just invest would you do anything else with the money? Would you buy anything like extravagant or fancy? Yes, and of course. It will probably be programmed into the Tesla, you know? The closest Mcdonalds location. Would you say you’re very competent in a certain aspect of your life? Okay, that’s sounds really good. What would you say you’re really competent at? You always end up on top? Yes. Okay, yeah, yeah, it’s Alright thank you for your time, I really appreciate it. I wish you the best and goodbye. Hello contestant. If you were stranded on a desert island Which offline TV member would you want with you? He has about 300[k] I’m at 80[k] Uh I have more Twitch viewership Hey Is she still there? That concludes the final round of questioning. It’s now time for Toast to choose his champion This will be his first look at all three of the finalists and his potential match Will the three finalists, please come out? So Toast, this is your first look at all three finalists. What are your initial thoughts about them? I’ll be honest, there’s a bit more- Well, after talking with each of these finalists I feel like I’m very confident in my choice so number four you have great taste in food But your answer to how you would spend a million dollars was not very exciting Number five you sound very confident and assertive, and I like that in a partner But at the same time you were kind of negative and you know Overbearing. number eight you had a great flows and some sick hot fire beats But I also didn’t like the way how you were so you know how much importance you played on Social media and numbers and trying to leech off me. Alright Toast, you’ve had enough time. So what is your final decision? my final decision is Number five. So yeah, I found out that Apparently the right person I’ve been looking for was with me all the time. It was Scarra and I didn’t know it and I Look forward to spending the mes- rest of my my life with him. I’m very happy I don’t need any more girls and more harems I’m looking forward to consummating- *laughter*

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Comments

  1. at the end of the video when he was picking, i was like if he picks scarra as a joke ima crack up laughing and he did. LMAO

  2. Why wasn't Lily one of the girls?
    Edit: Now that I think about it voice changer won't work on her.

  3. Damn fed actually looks good better than some girls if only he could get rid of that grey beard area

  4. 94%= fed is best girl
    4%= scarra makes this better
    2%= (me) why is lily looking like chiaki from danganronpa?

    ( also I know this is late )

  5. Ok i have to say that Fed, Xell, Yvone and Scarre are becoming my favorites members of offlineTV (I LIKE MARK 2)

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