Eugene Gets Surprised With His Worst Nightmare


– Today is a really big day. – What’s wrong with you
guys? So dumb I hate this. What’s wrong with your face? – Eugene is going to sit in my lap. (laughter) (Try Guys Theme) – It’s a story of love and lap sitting. – I think we were all
shocked that day, yeah. – I think there’s always been a lot of tension between Eugene and I. I think if you watch the fan fiction video where we’re eating those sandwiches, I think you see that
we’re not totally acting. In January the four of us took
a bonding trip to New York. – We were about to quit our jobs, and we thought let’s live a little, while we still have health care. – And it was on a subway ride that something really amazing happened. – No I’m not. No. – Magic happened. – Because there weren’t
enough seats in the subway, Keith offered his lap to Eugene. – It wasn’t a big deal, I just
thought he might want to sit. He didn’t want do, and I think that he didn’t like it out of fear. – I’m already upset, I’m
already really upset. – He was viscerally just devastated, it was a big thing. – Now I have filmed hours and
hours of footage of my boys, and normally it’s
fleeting, it’s ephemeral, it doesn’t matter, but this. An instant sensation, a phenomenon. People were writing us saying, “My god, I’ve never seen drama like this, this is my Citizen Kane.” (dramatic music) Been working really hard and I thought, well here this is the natural conclusion to the story, but Eugene didn’t sit. – This sort of fear of intimacy, it’s something that I think I can fix. Now we put out this crazy idea that he should sit in my lap if we won’t the the Streamys, and we did. – Thank you guys.
– That’s right, thank you. – So fate has a big role in this as well. – I want it to be
memorable for both of them. – It can’t simply be just
somebody sitting in someones lap. – You know we need to eat together, we need to drink together,
we need to be together, and then when the moment is right. – Then he’ll sit on his lap. – So there’s a lot to figure out, and that’s why I need Ned and Zach. (light happy music) – Everything we’re doing today is about making Eugene feel comfortable, and help him get past whatever has been keeping him
from sitting in my lap. There’s really no place that’s
a better establishment for an important event like this
– Yeah. – Than Party City. – It is Christmas though, so most of it will be Christmas themed. – [Zach] Oh yeah – Oh yeah
– [Zach] Oh yeah, whoops. – Ned is perhaps one of the greatest party planners in Los Angeles. – I’m seeing a vision of us dancing. – I, that’s what I’m talking about. – Yes. We dance. I’ve done Keith’s bachelor party. I’ve done my baby’s shower. And everything we do, we do in unison. In unison.
– In unison, that’s what I was thinking. – [Keith] It’s a unicorn, I get it. Zach also has a unique understanding of the emotional spirit of all of us. (gasp) Oh wow, your under arrest.
So take a rest on my lap. – My job is to follow, to document, to let life happen as it happens. Come on Eugene just sit on his lap, you’ve got nothing to pharaoh. (laughter) – That was what you went to? We are going to create
an atmosphere of growth. Should I dress as Min? – Yes. You should dress like his mom. Wow he would not like that. – He would not like that. – We’re going to make this scene so beautiful, and moving, and
irresistible to lap sitting. It’s going to be perfect. If everything doesn’t
happen like clockwork the whole weekend’s going to be ruined. – Whoa, we haven’t bought those yet. I’ll get it. I’ll get it all. He’s worth it guys.
– Oh no. Oh no. – [Keith] He’s worth it. He’s worth it.
– Oh, oh oh no. – This is probably a good time to remind you that we do have a Patreon, so if you want to support
this, and way more fun antics this is where your money goes. So there. – [Cashier] $135.01. – [Keith] $135. So we are headed now to Ralph’s. He we are at Ralph’s. – But we shouldn’t get him drunk, because he needs to remember
this moment forever. – [Keith] Yeah. – My favorite shit in the whole world Martinelli’s sparkling cider, this is not an add but it could be. – [Keith] What are you talking about? – You don’t know Martinelli’s? – No.
– You don’t know Martinelli’s? – No.
– Are you kidding me? – [Keith] I’m not kidding you. – Oh my god.
– are you serious right now? Martinelli’s is the best.
– Martinelli’s oh my god. The best apple juice
company in the business. – They make this sparkling cider that that is, I keep looking for it
– I know – Cause it’s usually an impulse buy. – It looks like a champagne bottle – It looks like champagne,
it feels like champagne, but it’s not, it’s apple juice. – It’s actually bubbly, sparkling cider. – [Keith] This is cider, what’s this? – [Zach] What are you taking about Keith? That’s not, Keith. Keith no.
– it’s not. No, no, no, no, no it’s sparkling. – [Keith] Just pour
some club soda in there. – I don’t know if you’re intentianally trying to piss me off right now, but we’re about to have a fucking problem. – We’re at the super
market trying to figure out what would Eugene really love. – Yeah like more than anything. – He loves salad, so we’re gonna get him a classic potato salad, pre cooked shrimp that Keith can feed into his mouth. – It’s kind of symbolic too, because you remove the lap of the shrimp. Cause his heads ripped off.
– right about there that’s like the shrimps
lap, so we’re gonna eat the laps of time sea animals. – We’re going to lap up the laps. – Right, before Eugene
sits on Keith’s lap. – Yeah. This is good, I need more tape. Eugene doesn’t get to see his mom enough because she’s in France, so we
kind of want to make him feel like we’re his family, not
trying to replace his mom but trying to sort of be a substitute mom. You know, when you get
a substitute teacher it’s not like your
teachers not coming back. He’ll see his mom again. – Okay people we have
a lot of things to do and a very short amount of time to do it. So I need everyone to focus up. – He’s really a, he’s really committing to that character still huh? – Why am I touching this? Where’s my help? – I kind of thought that
that was more of a bit for the pre thoughts and then we’d kind of just become regular humans and then we’d go back to being characters, but he’s really going for it. – A little to the left, back
to the right back to the right. When I first went to
Paris, I was a young boy and I was in love with a much older woman. I was seven and she was 35. – [Zach] Oh my god. (laugher) – All right, I’m just going to go check in with Eugene,
see how he’s feeling. Hey Eugene, I just want to know how you’re feeling leading up to this man? – I don’t want to do this. – [Zach] Why not? – Because it’s dumb.
It’s really Keith’s face. That’s what bothers me
most, Keith’s stupid face. – Hey, we’ll see you soon. Gently pull from each of
the edge of the folds. See right now this wall is dope as fuck, – [Zach] No it’s not. – All right this wall is
awesome. This wall, boring. This are not to scale in this picture. Her head is half the size of the letter. Like what. Look at that. – It’s okay. Nothing, nothing
is gonna ruin this for you. No, no, no
– Is it because, it’s like your head. – Yeah it’s probably my head.
– It’s like his head. – [Ned] Oh it’s his head. – Look, look. – What if he hates it all? – He’s not gonna hate it.
Keith that’s impossible. – This banner is stupid and tiny. – No no it’s not stupid. Because the banner,
– it’s tiny. – Put the banner down,
and hey I believe in you. He’s gonna sit on that lap. – Well he has too. – Right that’s true. Bonjour. – [Keith] Bonjour. (french music) Wow we should’ve only bought these. – This is totally like Eugene verses us most the time, and how we look in dress. – What do I do with this lantern? (yelling) usually Ariel plans all the parties, and I just like get to take credit for it. Don’t even know if this bit
with the sunglasses is working. – Hey man, it’s really funny. Everyone, we all agree it’s really funny. No you’re doing good work.
– no, thanks man. – Hey, I believe in you. What do you say we go get that food huh? – No you should get the food. Your just procrastinating.
Ah get out of my way. – Part of this is pretty scary for me. If I do this wrong, if
this doesn’t go right he’s never gonna want to
sit in anyone’s lap again. It’s just a lot riding on today. – Eugene, can we borrow you for a moment. – I think he is going to find a hug amount of relief when he finally does it. – [Zach] What do you thinks gonna be going through your mind? – This is a lot of questions for me just sitting on someones lap. – [Zach] Yeah.
– yeah. – [Zach] Yeah. – It’s kind of like conquering a fear. It’s like you know someone whose afraid of heights skydiving and loving it. – You know, like I don’t
know what your asking. Zach, your hovering and standing waiting for me to say something emotional like I’m just gonna do this
because people want me to do it. – [Zach] When you think about someone that doesn’t have a lap in their life. – Yeah, I want him to find a lap, and maybe that lap is Keith’s. – Eugene wrote the
tweet that made this so. He put forth the challenge into the world. Don’t you see? It’s been there all along. What he’s saying is please help me. – Oh my god. Is that a red carpet? – [Zach] Um. – You guys are so dumb. – [Zach] Keith will maybe direct
you to a place in the room. – Okay. God, do you hear yourself Zach? – So much preparation for this I just hope it all goes well. – This is so fucking dumb. All right. (french horn) – No. What’s wrong with you guys? Do you know we have other
things we’re supposed to do, besides prepare for this
fucking stupid stunt video? Jesus Christ, you know how long this is going to take to clean up? – Would you like some Champagne? – Yeah actually, I would
not mind champagne. (popping noise) It’s not even really champagne. – Eugene, would you join me for some of how the French say hors d’oeuvres? First impressions? – It seems just like a
super huge waste of time. – The fans wanted this, so
it’s not a waste of time, it is actually a delivery on a promise. And promises are really what
bind us together as people. I wanted to relieve some
of the tension in the room, with a dance.
– Why do you have so many assorted salads?
No we’re not dancing. – I know how much you love to dance. So without further ado,
an improvised dance. I know the way you like it the most from our co-owners.
– what’s wrong with you guys? (clapping) – Jesus Christ. – It’s very cirque. How was that? – You know, scarily enough that was the most in sync those
two have ever danced together. – Eugene do you trust me? – I don’t. Feed me a shrimp. – Okay, I’m nervous about the shrimp. I don’t know if they’re good. – Oh wow that tastes weird. – Yeah. – Where is that from? – It’s from Vons. – That tastes like it
was caught last year. – Oh, I forgot the hats. – How long did you guys plan this? – A day, a whole day. – This is a wast of a day. – Not it’s not. Well I actually
kind of did it for two days. – I’m not putting this is in my hair. – [Keith] Just come on. – You see how stupid you look. – I can’t see how I look. – Do you see the assortment
of food you picked. – Well I know how much you
love salad, so I got a. – Why would you get
potato salad? What’s this? – That’s ambrosia salad. – Is this supposed to establish trust? – There’s so much going on right. Don’t you just wish this was
just you sitting on my lap? – Pretty good tactic. – See. – Yeah, I see what you’re
doing. Whose getting me booze? – I didn’t want this
to be a drunk decision. – You wanted my sober concent? – Yes. – You stupid bitch. How am I your friend? This is literally, stop laughing. Like Zach is cry laughing, just show him in his stupid underwear. There’s a wet spot on his underwear. I don’t understand
anything that’s happening. – Apparently this is the best
sparkling cider in America. – It’s fizzy apple juice. – It’s warm. – It’s very warm. Missed
the mark with the buffet. – [Zach] Oh shit. I forgot
to put it in the fridge. – You gotta put it in the fridge. – I didn’t think about that. I didn’t put it in the
fridge. That’s on me. – Why are you wearing those glasses Ned? – Cause I’m the greatest
party planner in Los Angeles. – [Eugene] Can we just
get to the lap sitting? – You want to sit on my lap Eugene? – I want this to be over. This
is already like way to long. – If you insist Eugene,
yes you may sit in my lap. Would you go to the end of the red carpet? – Wait, why don’t we just do it here? – Because. – Oh god. We’re doing it. – Because we need different sets. – Are you gonna put like
classical music under this. Probably.
– Probably. (classical music) (blowing) (laughing) – So dumb. I hate this. What’s wrong with your face? Are you ready? Oh fuck now I asked you. Well great, this whole thing has been a psychological mind fuck. Don’t inhale. Don’t take a
breath, you’re making it worse. Just behave normally, okay. (laughter) be a normal person, just be have normally, this is a normal thing. I fucking hate all of you.
You’re so fucking stupid. – How does it feel? How do my thighs feel? Firm yet soft? Comfortable,
warm a little warm? – I hate this. Do you trust me? – I trust you. – I know. – Are you satisfied? Take it in, one last moment cause this is never happening again. But I’m impressed at how
terrible you made it. Like it was already a weird thing for me, and now you just made it so weird that it’s admittedly almost funny. Good job guys. – He loves it. – That’s not what I said. – Can I be honest with you?
I don’t really like this. It’s really warm. – Yep. Yep, yeah well I really
thought you peed a little. – I didn’t that’s just my top thigh sweat. – Yeah, your thighs
are like really sweaty. – What if someone else
sat in your lap right now? – No, no, no, we don’t need that. – What if Ned sat in your lap,
and then Zach sat in his lap? – No, no, no, no. – What if we do a lap stack? – No, no, no we’re not lap stacking. You’re in your underwear. I can feel the heat of your asshole, Ned. – Don’t make it weird, Eugene. – It’s already really weird,
oh don’t make it weird Keith. Look at the fucking Paris designs. (Try Guys Theme) – It was the best experience I ever had. (laughter)

About the author

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *