Family Dinner – Shrek – SNL


[ LAUGHTER ]
>>OH, MY GOSH.>>ANYWAY, MORAL OF THE STORY,
DON’T HAVE A FENDER BENDER WITH THE NBA’S PENNY HARDAWAY.
>>WOW, I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT HAPPENED, MR. ANDERSON.
>>CALL ME SCOTT.>>CLAIRE HAS TOLD US SO MUCH
ABOUT YOU, JUSTIN. I THINK SHE LIKES YOU.
>>OKAY, MOM. THAT’S ENOUGH.
>>GOSH, WELL, I LIKE THAT POT ROAST.
I FEEL AT HOME WITH YOU GUYS ALREADY.
YOU’RE SO MUCH FUN.>>OH, JUSTIN.
>>WELL, YOU ARE WELCOME TO STAY AS LONG AS YOU WANT.
BUT WE CONK OUT ABOUT 9:00. OCCASIONALLY WHEN WE GET WILD WE
WATCH A MOVIE.>>YEAH.
WE JUST RENTED “COCO,” PIXAR FILM, IT JUST WON THE OSCAR,
PHENOMENAL.>>OH YEAH.
BEST ANIMATED MOVIE I’VE EVER SEEN, HANDS DOWN, YOU KNOW, BUT
AS FOR TOMORROW — [ LAUGHTER ]
>>THAT’S A GOOD ONE. OH, MAN.
>>I’M SORRY, WHAT?>>WHAT IS, JUSTIN?
>>YOUR WIFE’S JOKE. SHE SAID “COCO” WAS THE BEST
ANIMATED FILM SHE’S EVER SEEN. IT MADE ME LAUGH, THAT’S ALL.
>>OH, I WASN’T JOKING EXACTLY.>>OH, COME ON.
NO. IT’S “SHREK.”
EVER HEARD OF IT? NO.
I’M SERIOUS. “SHREK.”
>>OH, YES. I BELIEVE THAT WE SAW THAT ONE.
RIGHT, HONEY?>>MAYBE ON A PLANE, YEAH.
PRETTY GOOD. IS THAT YOUR FAVORITE, JUSTIN?
>>NO, SCOTT. I’M A LIAR.
YES. IT IS MY FAVORITE.
IT’S ALSO THE BEST. THAT’S JUST A FACT.
>>IT’S OKAY, JUSTIN.>>IT’S NOT OKAY.
IT’S ANNOYING.>>WE JUST LIKE THE PIXARS,
THAT’S ALL. NOW WHO WOULD LIKE SOME
CRANAPPLE PIE?>>OOH, I WOULD.
MY DAD MAKES THE MOST AMAZING CRANAPPLE PIE.
>>SURE, WHATEVER. I’M SORRY.
YOU HAVE SEEN “SHREK,” RIGHT?>>NO.
WE’VE SEEN IT.>>JUSTIN, DROP IT.
>>THIS IS HILARIOUS TO ME. MYERS, MURPHY, DIAZ, LITHGOW, A
MURDEROUS ROW OF VOICE TALENT. CAN YOU SAY THE SAME FOR “COCO”?
I DOUBT IT.>>YEAH.
I DON’T KNOW. I GUESS I JUST ALWAYS FOUND THE
WHOLE OGRE THING A LITTLE OFF PUTTING.
>>NO!>>JUSTIN!
>>YOU’RE WRONG. YOU’RE WRONG AND YOU’RE A STUPID
PERSON.>>EASY, FELLOW.
>>GOODNESS.>>WHATEVER.
SCREW IT. WHERE’S THE DUMB PIE YOU WERE
TALKING ABOUT?>>WHAT IN THE WORLD IS THIS
ABOUT?>>I JUST DON’T LIKE BEING
BULLIED. THAT’S ALL.
>>ALL RIGHT, OKAY. I DON’T THINK ANYONE WAS
BULLYING YOU EXACTLY.>>HA, HA, HA.
EVERYBODY LAUGH AT THE GUY WHOSE FAVORITE MOVIE IS “SHREK.”
HE MUST BE AN IDIOT.>>OKAY.
WELL, I DO NOT THINK YOU’RE AN IDIOT AT ALL, AND I
APOLOGIZE IF IT CAME OFF THAT WAY.
>>APOLOGY REJECTED.>>MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST GO.
>>WHY? I’M HAVING A GREAT TIME.
ARE YOU NOT HAVING A GREAT TIME, SCOTT?
>>I’M NOT NUTS ABOUT YOUR TONE FELLOW.
>>I CAN’T BELIEVE I HAVE TO DEFEND A MOVIE WITH THREE HIT
SEQUELS, AND A 4-D UNIVERSAL STUDIOS RIDE.
BUT LET’S ALL BEND OVER BACKWARDS FOR “COCO,” RIGHT,
SCOTT?>>OH, EASY, DONKEY.
I’M KIDDING, JUSTIN. JUST TRYING TO LIGHTEN
THE MOOD HERE A LITTLE. DO A LITTLE SHREK FOR YOU.
>>YOU KEEP HIS NAME OUT OF YOUR MOUTH YOU DUMB SON OF A BITCH.
THAT’S IT.>>FIGHT ME, BULLY.
>>LET’S ALL JUST CALM DOWN.>>JUSTIN!
WHAT THE HELL? YOU’RE RUINING THE BIG SURPRISE.
>>WHAT SURPRISE?>>WE’RE ENGAGED.
>>WHAT?>>YEAH.
WE’RE GETTING MARRIED. SO YOU CAN BOTH EAT MY BUTT.
>>OH!>>AND GUESS WHO’S OFFICIATING?
>>WHO, SHREK?>>NO DUMBASS, SHREK IS CGI.
WHAT? IT’S PUSS IN BOOTS HIMSELF,
ANTONIO BANDERAS. EVER HEARD OF HIM?
>>I’M UPSET. I’M VERY UPSET, AND I’D LIKE FOR
YOU TO LEAVE.>>HOW THE HELL DID YOU SWING
ANTONIO BANDERAS?>>IT’S CALLED MONEY.
EVERYONE HAS A PRICE. EVEN TONY BANDERAS.
WHAT’S YOURS? 30 BUCKS, YOU CHEAP ASS?
>>I’M CALLING THE POLICE.>>I’M GOING TO STAY.
YOU GO, JUSTIN.>>WAIT, WHAT?
BABY, WHAT DID I DO? [ APPLAUSE ]

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Comments

  1. Justin: and guess who's officiating?
    Scott: who Shrek?!
    Justin: No, dumb-butt Shrek is CGI,What?!
    Me: It's puss in boots himself Antonio Banderas ever heard of him
    Scott's wife: I'm upset, i'm very upset now & i like for u 2 to leave!
    Scott: How the heck did u 2 swing Antonio Banderas?!
    Me: can't stop laughing
    Justin: IT'S CALLED MONEY
    Me: still can't stop laughing
    P.S.I had replaced the cuss words with what people read like 13- higher, Also I didn't want to cuss on my comment so I replaced the cuss words with words people can understand in this comment.

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