Football Party – SNL


>>>OH, DAMN, THAT WAS HOLDING.
>>YEAH, CALL IT BACK.>>HELL, KNOW.
THAT’S A TOUCHDOWN, BABY. GO FOR TWO!
>>ALL RIGHT, NOW WE GOT A GAME ON OUR HANDS.
>>YEAH. HEY, WANT SOME BEERS?
>>YEAH, I’D DO ONE.>>HEY!
MAMA!>>DOES YOUR MOM LIVE WITH YOU?
>>NO, I KIND OF LIVE WITH HER.>>WHAT?
>>SHE WASH YOUR DRAWERS FOR YOU TOO?
>>HA HA HA! HA HA HA!
NO, I DO THAT FOR MYSELF.>>GUYS, GO EASY.
SOUNDS KIND OF NICE.>>HEY, YOU BUYS, BREWSKIS!
>>OH, HELL YEAH.>>ALL RIGHT, I CAN SEE HOW A
GUY MIGHT GET USED TO THIS.>>SO YOU THIRSTY, BABY?
>>HELL YEAH, I COULD DRINK SOMETHING.
[ LAUGHTER ]>>WHAT?
>>HERE, BABY, GET IN THERE. OOH, THAT CAM NEWTON IS
SOMETHING ELSE! [ LAUGHTER ]
>>MM! WHAT’D I MISS?
DID HE GO FOR TWO?>>UH — WHAT JUST TRANSPIRED,
EXACTLY?>>I WAS THIRSTY SO I HAD A
DRINK.>>BRANDON, DID YOU JUST
BREAST-FEED?>>YEAH.
BREASTFEEDING’S HEALTHY FOR THE MOM AND THE BABY.
>>YOU’RE 43!>>HE’LL ALWAYS BE MY BABY.
>>GROSS!>>I DON’T KNOW, THAT’S PROBABLY
WHY HE’S SO JACKED.>>BINGO, THAT’S EXACTLY
WHY I’M SO JACKED. GOT ANY IDEA HOW MANY VITAMINS
ARE IN THIS ELIXIR?>>IT’S NATURE’S MOST PERFECT
FOOD.>>PLUS IT’S FREE AS HELL.
AS A MATTER OF FACT, MAMA? IF YOU WOULD?
Y’ALL PLANNING THANKSGIVING? YOU’RE WELCOME TO COME HERE, I
DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DOING.>>I’M GOOD.
>>I’LL BE AROUND.>>STILL WARM.
MM.>>WHAT’S GOING ON WITH THE
GAME?>>THEY JUST RECOVERED THE
ONSIDE KICK.>>HELL YEAH!
LET’S GO.>>OH, THAT WILL BE THE SNACKS,
I’LL BE RIGHT BACK.>>BRANDON, WHAT’S THE STORY
HERE, MAN?>>THE STORY?
I’LL TELL YOU THE STORY, ANDREW. I NEVER ONCE HAD AN EAR
INFECTION. I HAVE ZERO ALLERGIES,
NO RESPIRATORY ILLNESSES OR BOUTS OF DIARRHEA.
IS THAT ENOUGH OF A STORY FOR YOU?
>>ALL RIGHT! FRESH-BAKED COOKIES AND MILK!
>>I GUESS I’LL TAKE A COOKIE.>>I’LL HAVE SOME.
>>THANKS.>>NOT FOR ME, GUYS.
I’M GOING TO GO STRAIGHT TO THE SOURCE, EXCUSE ME.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]>>GET YOUR MUSCLE MILK.
EASY, BRANDON, YOU GETTING A LITTLE TOOTHY DOWN THERE.
[ LAUGHTER ] [ LAUGHTER ]
>>THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT.
OH, THAT’S THE GAME, THAT’S THE GAME.
>>BRANDON, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO TAKE ME TO
WORK. I’M GONNA BE LATE.
>>OH, HEY GUYS. THIS IS MY SISTER ANDREA.
>>HI, NOW LET’S GO.>>NO, NOT BEFORE Y’ALL EAT
SOMETHING. EVERYBODY IN.
>>ALL RIGHT. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
>>STOP PUSHING, ANDREA! GOOD DAM.
>>YOU’RE WASTING IT!>>ALL RIGHT, OKAY.
I THINK IT’S TIME FOR US TO HEAD OUT.
>>THANKS FROM HAVING US. THANKS FOR HAVING US.
ALL RIGHT. [ LAUGHTER ]
>>I MIGHT CHILL HERE FOR A BIT IF THAT’S COOL.
[ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

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Comments

  1. I like how at the beginning of the scene the two Panthers fan are saying two different things, like one is supporting the other team while wearing a Panthers jersey.

  2. Do they rehearse the skits at all beforehand, cause if they do the first one would take at least 3hrs. Dave is funny as fuck.

  3. Kyle seems representative of that one chill white friend who is so unassuming and non-judgmental. He's not weird because he likes breast milk. He's just being a good guest. I think he represents some close friend of Dave's.

  4. man they fucked this sketch up. I like how everyone things it's funny that this guy just fuckin laughs through the whole skit. This is how jimmy Fallon was created…. don't make the same mistake twice.

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