Forgiveness in Marriage // Dave Scharf // Time of Grace // Grace Talks

Agree or disagree? Forgiveness is the most
important aspect of marriage. Well, I suppose you
could disagree with that by saying that “agape” love is. Love is something we’re
talking a lot about today because it’s Valentines Day. But, to be fair, forgiveness
is a big part of that selfless, “agape” love. Since you know that sin is going to take
place in your marriage because every marriage is made up to two sinners. I’m not sure how a marriage could
survive without true forgiveness. The truth is, many don’t. Well, what does God say about marriage? There was a time in Jesus’
ministry when Peter excitedly came up to him
and asked him a question, “Lord, how many times
shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me?” Now when you’re asking a question and you want the
person to give a response, you need to pause so that they can actually answer it. Peter was not interested in Jesus’ answer because he just wanted
to show his generosity. He immediately shouted out, “Up to seven times?” As though that was a great number. You see in that day and age there was a misconception about, number one, how God forgives. And then by extension, how we should forgive. The misconception was this: Some of the rabbis taught that God was willing to forgive a sin to an individual up to
three times the same sin. And so, by extension, if you want to be a very
generous forgiver, forgive like God, you’d be willing to forgive three times. Well, Peter wanted to one-up that, or four-up
that and he said, “Well, I’d be willing to
forgive up to seven times.” Jesus needed to correct Peter’s understanding and our
understanding of a couple of things. Number one, how God forgives. And then number two,
how we are to forgive. And so Jesus tells this parable. It’s an earthly story with
a heavenly meaning. He tells Peter about this king who wanted to settle accounts. And so, he calls a servant in. And this is just an incredible, it’s almost an unbelievable story. He calls a servant in who
owes him 10,000 talents. To put that in perspective,
that’s the equivalent of billions of dollars. This would never happen. And so the king demands that
the servant pay this money back. But the servant’s not
able to pay, obviously. And so he falls on
his knees and he begs. He says, “Please have patience
with me and I’ll pay back everything.” Which could never happen. Again, put it in perspective. Let’s say you owe $5 billion. And the interest rate is 6% and you have a job that
makes $50,000 a year. How long is it going to take
you to pay that debt back? You would never be able to, right? You’d just go further
and further in debt. And so the king knows this and he does the most,
again, unbelievable thing. He forgives the debt. And he lets him go. Can you imagine the relief of that servant who just had that
incredible debt forgiven? Just to give you a microscopic
view of that relief, what if I said to you today that your mortgage is completely paid for? Right? The relief you would feel. So then the servant who
had that debt forgiven, he goes out and finds a fellow servant who owes him about 100 denari, which is about three months’ wages. Now please don’t misunderstand. Three month’s wages is a lot. That’s not a small amount, right? If you lost three months wages,
would that be a big deal? Absolutely. However, the point is, it’s nothing compared
to the billions of dollars that he had been forgiven. So he demands the debt from the servant and the servant falls
on his knees before him and begs, “Please have patience with me and I will pay back everything.” Does that sound familiar? It should. That’s what the
servant did before the king. But this time the servant refused. And he had the man thrown in jail until he
could pay back everything that he owed. Are you outraged? So was the king. He called that servant back in and he threw him in jail until he
could pay back everything he owed. Which meant that was for eternity. Do you see the point of the parable? We are that first servant who owed the king
an unpayable debt. And what did the king do? He forgave it. Everyone of us can relate to Barabbas. Do you remember Barabbas? He was the criminal that was convicted of murder and standing in jail awaiting for crucifixion with Jesus and the other two criminals. His conviction was for murder
and a host of other crimes. Not unlike our list. Well, there he is, sitting in his jail cell, and he hears the
footsteps of the soldier walking down the hall. And he hears the sound of
the key in the cell door lock and he hears the door open. And the guard says to him
the same thing God says to each one of us. You’re free to go. Jesus is dying in your place. That’s what Jesus did for you and for me. That’s how much he’s forgiven us. And so now what do you want to do in your relationships, in your marriage? Well, one word. Forgive. If your spouse tried to sin against you as much as they could
for the rest of your life – please don’t do that, by the way – they could never sin
against you as much as the debt that we owed to God that he has already forgiven us. So forgive each other because Jesus has forgiven you. And then actually act like that at home. One of the most powerful
things in the world is when a spouse forgives and then acts as though they
don’t remember that sin anymore. It’s a way for you
to love your spouse. It’s a way for you to show your spouse how God acts. Let’s pray. Dear Jesus, Thank you for forgiving
me so enormously. Help me forgive my spouse and
others in my life that completely. In your precious name I pray. Amen Happy Valentines Day. I hope you have a wonderful day. And I hope you remember all of the things
we talked about this week about love so it’s not just a Hallmark holiday. Share below something
special you’re going to do today with your spouse. And then keep your eyes
peeled in the coming weeks because we’re going to
have another series on marriage and especially our
relationships within the marriage. May God bless your day.

About the author


  1. Amen and Amen. Thank you Lord Jesus for your deep love for us. Holy Spirit help us to love one another in Jesus Mighty name we pray

  2. ๐Ÿ•Šโš˜๐Ÿ•Šโš˜๐Ÿ•Šโš˜๐Ÿ•Šโš˜๐Ÿ•Šโš˜๐Ÿ•Šโš˜๐Ÿ•Šโš˜๐Ÿ•ŠThank YOU my LORD FATHER GOD," Yes my LORD." I Believe i Receive I come in agreement with Your Servant, with YOUR WORD," in "JESUS Name" AMEN๐Ÿ•Šโš˜๐Ÿ•Šโš˜๐Ÿ•Šโš˜๐Ÿ•Šโš˜๐Ÿ•Šโš˜๐Ÿ•Šโš˜๐Ÿ•Šโš˜๐Ÿ•Šโš˜๐Ÿ•Š

  3. I REALLY wish you'd do videos on singleness. Not everyone is called to marriage. These videos on marriage aren't applicable to singles.

    I became a single parent after my husband abandoned me and our two little girls 25 years ago. My nest has been empty since 2003. There are so many topics to be covered. If you have a singles pastor on staff please encourage him to share.

    God bless.

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