Friday Night Bites – GUESS I’M COMING TO DINNER ft Main Man Tian Tan | Comedy Web Series


Yo Yo Yo its your main man A Ron up in dis bitch talkin about racism in NZ today This my racist as sister Lee to my right Whats good Lee? Woah if you don’t speak Chinese she just said something really racist! No I fucking did not Anyway so heres the situation right I got a new girlfriend right, shes real funny Real beautiful Shes white Thats all good you know Its going really well I’m going to meet her parents right now Going to her house, going for some dinner right Its all good I’m like yo sis can you give me a lift? And shes all like Aaron You gotta be careful of the white people And I’m like woah what? Sister what are you saying? Nah the white people They gonna test you they gonna test you I’m like woahhh whats going on Why they testing me? I’m just grabbing some kai this ain’t no school Some sweet white people food Some sweet peas potatoes its all good I’m just saying No Aaron they gonna see if you passive active Fucking fucking fucking Woah sister can you keep down the profanity Sorry kids try keep it PG 13 here Thats bullshit its twenty sixteen She cares about me About my face And all of this And not my race man Its about face not race, hashtag that guys So yeah what do you say about that Lee? Anyway cool story sis I’ll keep you guys updated Just remember to share, like, comment, tag your friends Yeah A A Ron peace out! I love peas! Well great Heres to our very own Sydney Poitier To John Lee Prentice Its a reference, they think they’re clever Ok I don’t get it Theres nothing to get Look its not 1967 Its 2016 and we welcome everybody Welcome Home Even if they drive crazy and talk funny Ignore them They get like this when they’re nervous Excuse me, I I’m just happy I keep asking and asking when am I going to meet this mysterious young man! Interrogate, interrogate Well its no point until its serious right? So Aaron Your family are from Beijing? Yep thats right But you said your sister dropped you off? Yeah she did How does that work? Sorry what do you mean? One child policy but you gotta sister? oh right Well thats one of the reasons we came up But thats gone now Dad Oh yeah I know, but you know The effects of that are gonna be massive You know I was reading for every one hundred women born in China there are 120 men So that means there is going to be an excess of of 55million men! Yeah I know its um Big ass sausage fest right there! Or not as the case may be Fuck I hate it when my sister is right She isn’t gonna say shit I’m left with two options here. Option number one I confront him about it and I become a humourless dick Or option number two I don’t say shit I just shut the fuck up and I hate myself later for not sticking up for my shit This is what you call a microaggression conundrum Now if you are ever in this situation Heres what you say I’m sorry what do you mean? Ah nothing just jokes Just a joke Sorry I didn’t quite get it Its quite a bit you don’t get then Its nothing at the moment has passed The moment where you brought up the penis size of Chinese men Do you mean that moment? Hardly table talk don’t you think? You brought it up Did I? Yeah you did Cmon lighten up it can’t be the first time You’re right its not You gotta be concerned right about efficacy? Excuse me? Cmon! We’re all just family here We are curious concerned parents who need to know No, no you do not Oh cmon Your age you should be out there trying everything Variety is the spice of life Theres all sorts of shapes All sorts of sizes Size has got nothing to do with why I like him Ah. Ah what Its not about the size its about the catchcry of the challenge Oh my god I can’t believe this Its important darling its an important part of a relationship Your mothers just talking from experience You’re being really inappropriate Its a very important thing to discuss I had a boyfriend once and we had no sex because of his tiny little weener No offence but I don’t really wanna hear that I just want you to be happy Guys look its not about size If you wanna make it about size Lets go Sorry? Lets measure Do you have a ruler Your not seriously suggesting? I am, its not about size but if it were? This would solve it don’t you think? Hes bluffing What? I’m off to measure the penis Hold on a minute! Mum! Oh cmon this is the most fun I’ve had in ages! Up you get! You can’t be serious No you don’t have to Stop stop! Yeah alright cool um What are we measuring? We shall measure erect, base to tip in mililetres And I think we should also take into consideration the girth at the base Hmm ok who does the measuring? We are not doing this Ah yes we are I will measure Bernie And you can measure your… Its a bit biased though don’t you think? We’ll I’ll measure you Mum! Its not like you haven’t seen it before Ew no! Its disgusting Alright, alright Go into the bathroom and measure each other cmon up you get! Yeah ok that sounds good No that is not good Don’t worry man I’ll just go incognito on my browser I don’t even know what that means Porn hub Go on off you go Cmon men’s business! Secret men’s business! You might be wondering why you think I’m going through with this madness, I’m in a lose lose situation if I back down now I look like I’m hiding a small dick but if I go through with it best case scenario I still have to get hard of this guy Hey Man You’re not the first person in this family to wanna see my dick I swear I’m not a racist I know But I’m not a racist Have fun You know darling I can see why you like him

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