Friends – When Ross first failed in his marriage

[CAR HORNS HONKING] There’s nothing to tell.
It’s just some guy I work with. Come on.
You’re going out with a guy. There’s gotta be something
wrong with him. So does he have a hump
and a hair piece? Wait. Does he eat chalk? I don’t want her to go through
what I went through with Carl. Oh. Okay, everybody relax.
This is not even a date. It’s just two people going out
to dinner and not having sex. Sounds like a date to me. I’m back in high school,
in the middle of the cafeteria… …and I realize I’m totally naked. – Oh, yeah.
– I’ve had that dream. Then I look down and I realize
there is a phone… …there. – Instead of…
– That’s right! MONICA: That one, I’ve never had.
PHOEBE: No. All of a sudden,
the phone starts to ring. And it turns out it’s my mother. I’ll be fine. All right? Really.
I hope she’ll be very happy. – No, you don’t.
– No, I don’t. To hell with her. She left me! And you never knew she was a lesbian. No! Okay? Why does everyone
keep fixating on that? She didn’t know. How should I know? Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian. Did I say that out loud? All right, Ross. Look, you’re feeling
a lot of pain right now. You’re angry. You’re hurting. Can I tell you what the answer is? Strip joints! Come on, you’re single.
Have some hormones. See, but I don’t want
to be single, okay? I just wanna be married again. And I just want a million dollars!

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