Happy Birthday Ari!


ARI DO YOU KNOW WHAT TODAY IS???!?!? It’s… OOOOOO-One week past your BIRTHDAY!!! *Ari dies inside* *party horn* kill me plz Yeah, I was planning on posting this on Ari’s ACTUAL birthday, but the animation I was working on ended up being done that weekend. So I posted that instead and- DON’T GIVE ME THAT LOOK! I’m gonna make it up to him by throwing him the BEST birthday celebration he’s ever had in his LIFE. LITERALLY. Because he has nothing else to compare it to. lol He turned one. I can’t believe Ari’s already a year old, he’s growing up so fast. Seems like just yesterday he was still just a baby. Ari, do you remember those days? (no) You know what birds look like when they’re not winged yet? Like when they don’t have their feathers?? SPOILER!! HELPLESS BAGS OF FLESH AND A BEAK. But they get cute! Birds have the best puberty. Nothing else in the world can go from like a 1 to a solid 12 in a matter of months. Do you wanna see Ari’s baby pictures? Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww look at you~!! I just realized I’m being such a parent and showing baby pictures to all your
friends… to all your friends And making you embarrassed BUT HOW CAN I NOT!?!?!? So what I wanted to do was bake Ari a cake, …but birds shouldn’t really have dairy… So I tried to google if there were bird cakes And all I found were these… seed things… So that’s what we’re doing I guess! Ok, so there’s two that I want to try out. And, uh, I’ll start with this first one It kinda looks like a cake I mean… ii- I dunno It uses yarn but I don’t have yarn. So we’re not doing that. There’s also this thing at the top that says, “Motherhood is an amazing journey!” smthn,smthn “GET IT NOW !” And I read it as: “Motherhood… Get it now!” Um.. *nervous laugh* Thanks… but I’m- I’m good for now. OK so it says the supplies is: day old bread. *BANG* Nothing but the best for Ari. *BANG* Peanut butter! And bird seed. And I don’t have bird seed so I’m just gonna use these like seed balls that he likes and just like crush them into their original form. It also says that you need like a heart shaped cookie cutter. but I looked and we don’t have a heart shaped cookie cutter. All I found was this like Santa? I think it’s supposed to be, so we’re doing BIRTHDAY SANTA *pushes very hard onto bread* Eh.. Did that work? Oh that didn’t work *giggles* maybe if i just OK you can rip it off. Protip LIFETIP And there’s your- *giggles in success*There’s your s- your birthday Santa *laughs* I… frickin’ love peanut butter. Alright so that looks good, I think.. As good as it’s gonna get. So now we’re gonna crush up the bird seed *far away* do I have a masher?? *opens drawer* I don’t know if this is gonna work, but this is made for potatoes. So it must work with seeds. OH that was SO efficient! HOLY CRAP! Look how good that is! I surprised myself.. Then you sprinkle on that magic. *shaking seed container* And there you go! (thinks “why am I doing this..?”) *chuckle* Perfect! That’s exactly what I was going for If someone brought that to me on my birthday I’d be like: How did you know?! This is EXACTLY what I wanted I wanted to try this “No bake cookie recipe” as well. It says for squirrels and birds… I don’t have a squirrel but if you do then… Keep watching I guess…? Ok, so for this you need: MORE peanut butter, rolled oats, some walnuts and I noticed they had a missed opportunity to call them “walnuggets” but whatever And it says yellow corn meal. Now I didn’t have any of this in my pantry. So I had to go out and buy this HUGE thing of corn meal. This is the smallest container I could find. It’s like this huge – it’s a one pound thing of corn meal. And I’m never gonna probably ever use it again. There’s the recipes on the back and it says corn meal mush. That is one attractive food name if I do say so myself. Alright. Two tablespoons of peanut butter… (Jaiden attempts at making sound effects for dropping peanut butter into the bowl) Bwooooop! There’s gotta be a more efficient way of doing this. If there is one I don’t know it. Two tablespoons of oats. One Two! And add the walnuggets. It says to make sure they’re really – like – small so I’ll have to crunch ’em. Heheheh! Look at this huge knife! Did you know that walnuts are one of the most healthy nuts you can have? They’re high in omega-3… And manganese… And I think it’s copper as well… They’re good at treating diabetes… And cancer… So if anyone says: “Jaiden do you have any life tips?” Eat some walnuts. It’ll save your life! Or at least enhance the quality of it. walnuts are SO great. Ari should be thanking me Nutrition is important KIDS. 2 tablespoons of walnuts I bought ALL this corn meal and I only need a tablespoon. Stirring this mixture around and it’s kinda clumpy.. *stirring* Did anyone watch Blue’s Clues as a kid and like the Salt and Pepper guys would be like: MIX-A MIX-A MIX-A! that’s what I feel like right now Oh SHOOT it said to microwave the peanut butter! I wonder if its too late for that now… You know what, I’ll take my chance. *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *clink” that really didn’t do much Wasted 20 seconds of my TIME! *laugh* And then it says just scoop them into- scoop them into little balls. It feels like sand. What if I just gave it to Ari like this? There you go buddy Happy birthday 😀 Its really hard to like squish them into- What if I made it into cubes? Be rebellious like that You thought i was going to follow the recipe? NOPE!! That’s all I’m doing for now I wanna arrange it all pretty-like Kinda looks like a satanic ritual *singing* Happy birthday to you! *flutter of wings* AAHH ooOOOhhhh Do you like it? *phone rings* Phone: Call from *unintelligible* Leave us alone we’re having a birthday party! Sparks Relix or whatever it was *encouragingly* C’moonnn 🙂 Tryyy it! 😀 I spent all this time You know, this is all kinda like just all normal edible food So I’m kinda curious if its actually good I mean, its just peanut butter and oats Its what you would expect I forgot the bread was a day old. Honestly it’s not bad. You’re being a BRAT! People are gonna say, “Jaiden you ate BIRD food” It’s seeds and peanut butter and bread. C’mon You know, Ari’s a simple bird He doesn’t need all this fancy seed stuff to have a good birthday treat What makes him happy… …is fruit. We cut up some fruit And I know he’ll like this instead. Look he’s already so excited he’s like “OH MY GOD FRUIT” Here’s an apple Yeeaaahhh that’s much better isn’t it? And strawberries he likes to just eat the seeds off the- Oh Bad example I was gonna say he likes to just pick the seeds off the top first But, you just gotta make a liar out of me. I always just give it to him in cubes but I kinda wanna know what he does if I give him the whole apple. While Ari eats that… I also got a dragonfruit. I’ve never had dragonfruit But it looks BEAUTIFUL! Now I’ve also seen that the flavor is underwhelming and kinda like not that good But I’m gonna be the judge of that. I don’t know how to cut it So I think I’m just gonna Slice right through it. *chop* Look at that! That’s so pretty! Beautiful! I actually think Ari would like this a lot because it’s got like seeds in it and he loves seeds So I’m gonna let him eat it first because its his birthday. *Jaiden laughs* He went around the edge Wanna try some? Oh, he’s a bit scared he’s like “What the frick is that Jaiden!?” *laughing* Last chance Its got seeds I think you would like it JUST GIVE IT A SHOT mmM? So, its okay The little seeds kinda taste- They remind me of sesame seeds Which is o- it’s okay Its like sesame with a little bit of sweetness. It’s okay. It’s okay. I wouldn’t buy it again And it definitely wasn’t worth $6 might I add Blackberries are his favorite but I HATE giving them to him Because what he does is he RIPS them up And flings all the juices and seeds… all over the place! Look at this wall!! Are you happy with yourself mister? Actually I’ll let you in on a little secret I don’t know Ari’s gender… *embarrassment laugh* Ok, So here’s the thing alright For birds, well at least for green cheek conures Which is what Ari is, The only way to tell if they’re a boy or a girl is to get a DNA test. There is literally no other difference. Unless its too late and you’ve got a bunch of eggs all over the place And a test costs $25. So you know what? Ari doesn’t need some test to tell him- Her… what they are… Whatever label it wants to give its self I will love her no matter what. As Bill Nye says, gender is a spectrum. It’s 2017, we’re a progressive era. You know that meme where its like, “I identify as an attack helicopter” Ari can literally be that if he wants. *rapid wing fluttering* I see people people asking me all the time, “Wait, is Ari a boy?” “What’s Ari’s gender?” First of all, hasn’t tumblr taught you that gender is irrelevant? And second All of them. We don’t assume here “So Jaiden, since Ari’s all grown up Have you taught him any tricks?” Psshh Uhh yeah, of course! Go potty Good birrrrrd! Ari doesn’t have any friends except me So I can’t throw him a birthday party But he loves taking BATHS! So were going to throw him a birthday shower! Sounds lame but… it’s not okay? Have you ever seen a bird take a bath? *water spraying* *squeak* *water spraying* Did you enjoy that? *giggles* You look like a drowned rat. Yaaaaaay! I would say that’s a successful bath You know what Ari also likes to do? PUSH EVERYTHING THEY CAN OFF TABLES AND COUNTERS! Look *smack* *smack* *smack* *faint thud* *bang* *bang* There’s water in there *smack* *laughs* I gotta clean this up ohhh look at- I hope you had a good birthday dude You’re officially 1 year old now! People always google what rights you get when you turn like 18 or 21 Welp I don’t know what to tell you buddy If your a human you would be… …standing up on your own. Here’s to another year “JAIDEN I THOUGHT ARI WAS A DOGGO” Heres the thing We don’t assume species either. Just let Ari be Ari. That’s all that matters. *Subtitled by Declan Blue*

About the author

Comments

  1. Well, actually, my brother is allergic to nuts, so it definitely wouldn’t save or improve his life. 😐 oh well.

  2. 6:01
    JADIEN:happy birthday to u
    Ari:AAAAAAAAAA
    Jadien:WAAAA
    Ari* tries it
    Dumb Phone:Calls like and emergency
    SHUT UP WERE HAVIN A BIRTHDAY PARTY

  3. I have one when I was sitting on the couch my mom had just left then and then I had a blanket that I had taken from my bed and then I felt the same like weird feeling and then I looked under the blanket and there were like two of my mom's hair and it's late I don't know. But I just pulled them out and didn't care it happened when I was about seven

  4. OMG I want to come to your house just to see Ari thinking what to classify Ari as AHA other p.s jaiden is this creepy on any scale and please make more videos on Ari even though there is another one right now

  5. ur nails are very nice Jaiden you have to teach me to grow my nails like yours
    also tell Ari happy late birthday because now he's 3 or 4 years old cuz this is late (:

  6. 9:44 Schrödinger’s cat thought experiment states if you don’t know if a cat in a box is dead or alive, it’s both. It could be put here because Jaiden doesn’t know Ari’s gender so therefore she is correct by saying all the genders.
    Yes I’m a nerd

  7. Jaiden: says the first word in blue’s clues
    Me: GASP SO IT’S A BLUE’S CLUES DAY TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  8. 1:09 That and if you make it with eggs and he eats it it might count as canebalism or he might be eating a relative so Very bad idea

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *