How to cook Christmas Dinner for an Alien


Hello there, today I’m going to show you how to make a twist on a traditional Chrustmus dinner So I’m sure, since the Galactic Grouping Many of you have off world friends or even family and I’m going to show you how to make a Chustmus Dinner that’ll make you extraterrestrial friends feel right at home So let’s start with the centre piece of our roast this Flesh Nut, which is from the flesh trees of planet Derma. I guess you could call this a nut roast Except you probably shouldn’t Because this is definitely not vegetarian… But it is from a tree Anyway, we need the insides of the nut, so first we have to open it. So start by pulling its lips back to reveal the teeth of the nut What a lovely smile This… nut has *festive rasping noises* You’ll need a blunt instrument like the handle of a spoon To wedge between the teeth and lever open the jaw *almighty toe curling crunch* Lovely! Now you need some good scissors to cut the tendrils and open the jaws properly *a little snippy snips snips* *another little crunch* So here we have the insides of the nut but this still isn’t the part we want we no longer need the outer shell anymore, so we can get rid of this So get your hands in there and pull this bit out of the shell So I guess you’d call this the seed or the stone of the nut? But we actually want what is inside this However at the moment the insides are incredibly poisonous So we need to neutralise the poison It’s quite simple to do this, you just pour in a small amount of watered down ketchup into the feeding hole and wait for the reaction to take place, once it’s finished bubbling the insides should be safe to touch and eat… I guess So take your scissors again and cut the outer skin, all the way around off of the flesh inside and peel the skin away So here at last, we have the inside part of the flesh nut that we actually eat. Look mat all those tasty tendrils So in terms of preparation First preheat your oven to 180 degrees fan Then take a baking tray and oil it well using olive or vegetable oil then lightly season your nut with salt and black pepper And then you’re ready to pop it in the oven for an hour and a half You’ll know when it’s done because when you stick a needle in it it won’t scream *little nut boi scream* So whilst that’s cooking, lets prepare the rest of the roast So take your potato and we’re looking for a very specific kind of potato with a breather hole Like this one So start to peel the skin off like you normally would as what we’re after is on the inside and as you peel the potato away you’ll reveal exactly what we’re looking for Lovely. There’s a particular space parasite that lives inside an Earth potato and it tastes just delicious when roasted perfect So pull this free of the potato Which you can now discard Now it can’t actually survive outside the potato, so we don’t need to do anything further *the final breathes of this tasty chap* We just sprinkle on some chilli flakes and add it to another well oiled baking tray So these only take forty minutes in the oven So try and time it so they’re ready for when the nut comes out Also make sure you get the seven legged variety like this one as apparently eating one with eight legs will.. um… liquefy your bladder *quickly counts to seven* So next we have a rather interesting vegetable which I like to call the human hand vegetable It’s actually a complete coincidence that it looks like a human hand and Aliens have been eating it for centuries before before they even came into contact with a human the actually call it a Schlump anyway turn it over and you’ll see the part of the vegetable we actually want this fleshy bulb, which we then tear out with our fingers You can then discard this hand shaped vegetable skin as it isn’t needed anymore I like to nestle a piece of unpeeled garlic into the fleshy roots As this adds a little bit of extra flavour and just pop this on another well oiled baking tray and these only take 20 minutes at 180 and finally we have the spore sprouts, so take one and peel off a few of the outer leaves, then stand back *who’s this little cutie?* *jolly little chrustmus shriek* THEY WILL BEGIN TO SCREAM BUT BE CAREFUL NOT TO LET THEM DO IT FOR TOO LONG AS THEY WILL RELEASE SPORES THAT WILL EMBED THEMSELVES IN YOUR EAR DRUMS SO TO STOP IT SCREAMING YOU JUST *Splat* That’s better Now you just scoop them up and serve them raw, there’s no need to cook these and now just remove your protective ear buds oh no So once everything is cooked Just carve up the insides of the flesh nut and serve and there we have it a plate of delicious roast flesh nut it’s about time to give this a little taste I think! Lovely, now all your Alien friends will feel completely at home at Chrustmus *muffled screams of festive joy* Hi there, as you well know it’s nearly Chrustmus the most magical time of the yaaaah Chrustmus! So, in celebration of Chrustmus I’ve lovingly designed some beautiful meaty Chrustmus jumpers that are now live on my teespring store Look how Chrustmusy and festive these designs are They’re only a limited time run, so they’ll be discontinued after this Chrustmus so if you want one, grab one now Chrustmus! I’ll also be running a little extra bonus competition So if you do decide you want one, just share a picture of you wearing it on twitter or Instagram, copy me in and the winner will receive this lovely hand vegetable and bulb Chrustmus! So links to my teespring store where you can find my jumpers and then my Instagram and twitter are in the description below So now I need to thank my Chrustmus Patreons! and their names are! So thank you so much for supporting this video if you, like these lovely lot, want to help support my videos and receive some lovely perks in the process, such as behind the scenes vlogs and vfx breakdowns for my videos, then head on over to my Patreon page Anyway, have a lovely Chrustmus. Thank you, okay bye.

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Comments

  1. Thank you! My alien pet was hungry, it almost never stop eating me when I got him from planet 001xXllyuxm, now it’s fed up. Thank you Will McDaniel

  2. I may or may not have worn protective earbuds, so just wondering, if one were to get infected with a green ear beast, how dose one remove it?…help…

  3. Thanks for this, Cthulhu and my friend from R'lyeh enjoyed it lots! Served with some tea with extract from the flesh nut, this dish is simply divine. 🙂

  4. Can someone help me find a flesh nut my friend ßæœñ likes extra and I can't find any in the galactic æñçé forest so someone please let me know where I can find them (also it took me three tries to find the potato with a parasite lol)

  5. Whew I’m glad I found this glorpaflorgnorg would have been sad if I wasn’t there because I don’t want to be the guy who doesn’t bring food to the party

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