How to Have A Better Marriage in 2020| 14 Ways to Improve Your Marriage


What’s up legacy builders I’m Rob I’m
Reshawn and this Learn Hustle Grow! Learn Hustle Growis about creating a legacy we’re sharing our
passions for money marriage and travel with other legacy builders like you
legacy builders 2020 is fast approaching it’s hard to believe that we are already
at the end of the year it went fast in debate it did especially when you are
travelling for most of the year that’s the fastest year I’ve ever experienced
yes as we approach the new year if you guys are anything like us you are
setting goals and thinking about your future you may be thinking about things
like losing weight making more money career advancement even managing your
finances at least we hope you guys are thinking about that what we don’t want
to forget about is our marriage absolutely
yeah I think a lot of people get married thinking that it’s just gonna work out
no it’s going to take a lot of work there’s a lot more time spent planning a
wedding than there is actually planning the marriage and it’s important to us
that we are intentional about our covenant so we are going to discuss 14
things that we can do to improve our marriage in 2020 and we hope it helps
you guys to 14 number fourteen commit to an annual
marriage enrichment activity so we try our best to make at least one activity
for marriage a year for example like at our church there’s like there’s several
of them going on but they’ll have one just for you know people who are married
and it’ll be about well what is it three weeks or something like that it’s like
one time a week for six weeks against and we try to attend those to try to
keep things fresh and try to be around other married couples for the times that
we can’t and stuff like that and you know it’s usually pretty it really back
in when you if you might be slipping away from certain habits and things
you’re supposed to be doing in a marriage you know with all the busyness
so alright and even if we don’t attend the six-week session sometimes we just
do a marriage conference yes yeah they have math conferences yeah yeah marriage
conference goes on for a week and usually Friday and Santos are really fun
yeah even a Sunday morning yeah their food and they have you know music and
they just do a lot of activities together and stuff and it’s it’s a
really good time so yeah that is my number 14 number 13 take advantage of
technology to inspire your marriage you are already on social media like
Facebook and Instagram consider using those things as a way to
boost your daily dose of positive thinking there are all kinds of Facebook
pages Instagram pages around the topic of marriage follow those things that are
going to inspire you along with social media considered listening to a podcast
checking out some YouTube videos like you’re doing right now the podcasts you
can actually listen to anywhere in your car you know at the gym in the grocery
store marriage today is one of my favorites it is a christian-based
podcast that helps me that marriage is bigger than just Rob
and I our covenant goes beyond just the two of us and it is important to keep
that in mind when you are you know bickering with each other over the small
things on a day to day basis so just remember that technology can be used for
a multitude of things and don’t forget about the importance of inspiring
yourselves via Facebook and Instagram you can follow marriage today I’m having
a brain freeze right now but if you check that if you search the topic of
marriage you’ll find some really good ones out there and don’t forget to
listen to a podcast find one in the library subscribe and keep it on your
playlist number twelve rebook s’ on the topic of marriage one of our favorites
is the five love languages I believe everyone who is married should read that
book to try to you know get some understanding on what might be going on
with their spouse and vice versa because it was a fantastic book you know even I
didn’t want to read it but I did not and I felt better about it you know so
there’s another one called love and respect and I know there’s a third that
we talked about power of a praying wife and power praying husband yeah but those
are here those are great books and I believe what we believe that if we try
to do one of those hopefully at least once a year then that stuff kind of
keeps you grounded yes that loving respect was a real eye-opener yeah we’ve
done a video on the five love languages if you guys want to check that out yet
but love them respect we actually haven’t covered that yet maybe we’ll do
a video on that in the future but super informational especially for the wives I
think yeah so that’s my number 12 anything else that’s it while we’re on
the topic of planning for the new year let’s talk about number 11 mm-hmm take a
vacation I’m down with that it is absolutely essential that you spend time
together as a married away from your children yes
there has to be time just for just the two of you and a vacation gives you an
opportunity to get away from your day-to-day responsibilities of going to
work paying bills getting the kids off to school it’s been some time planning a
trip just for yourselves and if you need help with that of course we’re available
learn house will grow travel I can be found on Facebook you can also shoot me
an email learn hustle grow 365 at gmail.com I do not see that plug coming number 10 schedule time with other
married couples trust me sometimes you can feel alone in this world but when
you hang out with other married couples and see that the same issues and
problems and household that you have then you realize you are not that
special so it is great to hang out with other married couples even it is just to
get some stuff off your chest with each other and as a couple you know and just
talk about life right we all need friends we can’t we can’t do
this alone guys so that is my number yep number 10 is schedule time with other
married couples number 9 schedule a weekly connection this is something that
we could certainly be better about just scheduling time to sit down with one
another to check in and say hey how are we doing are we good yes the areas that
I can improve on to be a better spouse yeah it’s sad to see sometimes people
say you know you wonder like hey how’d you guys break up you know you find out
some longtime friends or something break up and you wonder what happened and they
say oh we just kind of grew apart we weren’t talking we weren’t doing this
and that’s like wow that should never happen you know we should always be
talking to each other especially since we live in the same house or if we’re
not fine time to talk to each other make the time
that’s what it means to be intentional to make something important and not to
put our marriage on autopilot and it’s easy we can see how it can
happen yes you know we’re so busy with so many things so many goals we want to
accomplish we can tend to put the marriage on the backburner so there we
are number 9 schedule a weekly connection if you schedule it weekly and
you know you miss it which we do sometimes then maybe it becomes a
biweekly habit right but at least you know it’s coming right so number eight
our number eight is scheduled a weekly date night which is different from a
weekly connection yes not everyone can get to that vacation
together as soon as they need to so this is definitely a short-term thing when
you can schedule the date night weekly so go out hit the movies get a
babysitter do whatever and just so it can be you and your spouse for that week
and got anything else on it baby yeah and you know what there are tons of
ideas and ways to mix up your date night you know we fall into the habits of
dinner and movies and that’s great just to have some time together but if you do
a little bit of research on the internet you might decide to head to the gun
range oh snap I didn’t know if she was interested right you might decide to you
know spend time in your own City we saw Django I was gonna say spend time
in your own City on the hop-on hop-off bus oh that’s a good idea right yeah but
well yeah he’s at angle because I would love for us to take a dance class yeah
and we haven’t done that yet it’s coming guys it’s coming
I’m never being this on I list 10 years in and there’s still tons of things that
we haven’t done together yet yeah she’s trying to get me to jump out of a plane
with her for years and I’ve done that in the military but I
survived too many times you know and now she wants to she’s never done it
I’m holding our apples I was gonna do and we were in New Zealand you know but
she was sick and hey just worked out the way what you want me to do so there you
go mate your date night exciting mm-hmm that was number eight number seven put
sex on the calendar my favorite number six right we’re
saying put sex on the calendar because it’s another one of those things that
you can forget yes you’re sleeping together in the same bed but by the time
you get to the bed often you are tired at least we know we are we can’t speak
for you we know we you guys have boundless energy and you never forget to
have sex and you are getting it online I’m 44 so you know I’m tired you know
need that connection yeah yes I mean we can’t stress that
enough it’s tight it binds you you know beyond just being parents it’s important
that we remember that we are lovers so if you aren’t getting it on a regular
basis put it on the calendar make sure that you are preparing for it up until
that moment lock that door make sure those kids
can’t just bust in there like that I mean they’re gonna be gone one day and
then what you gonna do that yeah you’re looking at that calendar in the morning
before you get started on your day so you know tonight is the night do
whatever you can to make it special and try to stick to it mm-hmm
number seven our number six for ways to improve your marriage in 2020 is create
a budget yep so you got to create that budget so
everybody’s on the same page on what’s being spent who gets what for their
allowance and all of this right doing a budget is an essential part of a
relationship – I mean beef every day if there’s no budget it just is you can’t
avoid money fights if you can get on page with where your finances are gone
yeah eventually somebody’s gonna feel like it’s uneven it’s not fair
whatever and if you got if you know where every doll is going and you know
who gets what then it’s nothing to fight about right yeah
it also gives you that sense of security to have a budget because somewhere in
there ideally there is savings right and in case of an emergency you want to make
sure that you have a cushion don’t add additional stress to your marriage by
not planning ahead for financial situation thank God we had a budget
before I lost my job one time you know it was tough getting on board but we
eventually we did and then I lost my job I was on I work for five months and
guess what we were good because we had that budget in place that makes things
worse that’s just more weight on the marriage more stress and weight on the
marriage because we did not if we hadn’t not prepared for that right so and it
worked out yeah it absolutely did yeah number five if you are creating your
plans for 2020 and looking at ways to improve your marriage consider creating
a vision and purpose statement for your family yes yeah we talked about this in
one of our videos and creating a vision and purpose statement allowed us to look
at the big picture understand what’s important to us and to make sure that
everything we do ties into that vision and purpose statement our vision
statement for our family is to walk out our faith living debt-free always giving
always growing always grateful yes oh you guys feel free to adopt that or to
use it as a template but make sure you sit down together and talk about those
pillars that are important to both of you and what you want to incorporate and
that will help to keep you focused and inspired in the new year number four a
ten church once a week at least of course when you go to church they want
to do a lot more than that like you know volunteer and stuff like that and you
know we try to get to more of it but at least
that once-a-week situation I know for us or for me I need to be there at least
once a week for after the tough week that I have or after getting away from
myself in traffic or whatever is going down it’s true I’m just only speaking
for myself but I’m the kind of guy that my blood gets boiling and I’m about to
have a heart attack you know during the week about whatever situation and church
comes me back down it gives me a understanding of what God wants our
family that looks look like and how we should be acting or you know in general
to the world and it helps me to also constantly on Trotta
on how to forgive people you know because I’m constantly you know upset
about whatever and I’m trying to master the art of forgiveness even though I am
not perfect at all at it but I need it I need to be in church at least once a
week so I can keep myself grounded and I will say as a wife and I am truly
impressed by his commitment to be at church once a week it is something that
I admire about him his desire to always grow to do and to be better struggle is
real yeah it makes me want to be a better way but I’m trying so that is my
number four that’s awesome baby number three discuss your goals yeah it is so
important for us as a married couple to understand where we each are as far as
achieving our goals career goals where do you want to be in five years where do
you want to be in 10 years does that include a relocation
mmm-hmm right like downtown right is there a desire to leave corporate
America and you know start your own entrepreneurial venture the more you
discuss those things the better you can plan to make sure that you’re on the
same page for both short-term and long-term but not just your career right
but when do you want to retire mm-hmm what if you can’t retire at the same
time what if one of you never wants to retire there are certain things we start
to assume about our spouse because of you’re feeling that way right it could
easily be the case that one of you wants to work forever and you love your career
and the other is trying to work a plan to get out and to start something new
but you can’t know that for sure until you discuss it so for us it’s always
been beneficial to sit down and discuss it we are creating new goals right now
even as we make these videos for you guys things have changed for us
significantly and we are working on our goals we love working on our goals so
yes so that’s it number three number two daily affirmation via your spouse’s love
language so we spoke on the five love languages book earlier but in the five
love languages you have to figure out what your spouse’s love language is and
then try to implement that daily or as much as possible right yes and we did do
a video on the five love languages I think I mentioned that earlier but what
we will we will go ahead and recap what the five love languages are so the five
love languages are words of affirmation physical touch quality time receiving
gifts and acts of service yes so if you are the type of person who loves acts of
service like myself if your spouse brings home gifts it’s not exactly what
you’re looking for I would love for him to decide to cook dinner
wash dishes sweep the floor I’d rather get gifts those things near
and dear to my heart and that’s what’s going to excite me and make me feel
appreciated like this you know I understand that his love
languages are words of affirmation and physical touch are they oh yeah I think
he forgot anyway but I remember what they are and I try to make sure that I
yes that because he has a PhD in in me so that’s pretty dope I’m working on it
uh-huh certainly that was our number two number
one our last one our number one recommendation for planning to improve
your marriage in 2020 is pray together yes this has made a tremendous
difference in our relationship we noticed the difference so much when we
stopped praying together that we immediately had to figure out a way to
get back on track mm-hmm it’s not always easy for guys I know this especially but
you know you committed to the you know marriage relationship so this goes with
it and it definitely does help we just got to get over that you know she’s my
wife she’s my best friend and we have to we got to put us first
yeah and even though I felt like it was just something she wanted to do now I
realize it’s something we need to do and that’s what I got to say about that
yeah when we pray together out loud it allows us to share our intentions for
one another yeah right when you argue or when we
argue well we fall help we always are you can you can actually begin to see
your spouse as the enemy and that sucks it does to feel like your marriage is
the money that you are battling on a regular basis but we come together
and pray out loud for one another we are sharing our best our hopes our dreams
our aspirations for the other person and I honestly there’s nothing that moves me
more than to be able to do that for the people I love so absolutely my husband
is my number one and I want to make sure that I am doing that for him and with
him on a daily basis all right guys this wraps up our 14 ways to improve your
marriage and 2020 we hope you got something from it if you want you can
drop a line below and give us some of yours
so we can all help each other grow yeah this is a plan it’s not to be done in
one day that’s what we suggested some things to be done on an annual basis
some things to be done on a weekly basis and then some things that can be done on
a daily basis we are looking forward to being married until death do us part
and we know that we have to be intentional in order to make sure that
happens yep so see you in the next video

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Comments

  1. Re:"#7" Put sex on the…
    Rob: "My favorite!" Hilarious!😂
    Awesome tips! You guys are #marriagegoals"! What a blessing to be equally yoked! Tfs.

  2. Iron Sharpens Iron..
    Thank you for sharing your-tips . Most important is praying for each other.
    Been praying in the morning.
    Just celebrated 22 Yrs.

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