How to Overcome Infidelity In Your Marriage (And Prevent Divorce!)

When someone you love betrays your trust,
it can feel like an hopeless hurdle to overcome. But the truth is, with a little tender love
and care, and dedication from both spouses, it’s completely possible for your marriage
to survive infidelity. My name is Brad Browning, I’m a marriage
coach from Vancouver, BC. You may recognize me from another one of my videos, or have
heard about my best-selling Mend the Marriage program, designed to help married couples
work through their hardships and recommit to one another. But today I’m going to talk
about how to overcome cheating in your marriage. Before we get started it’s important to
note that before any progress can be made in repairing the marriage, the unfaithful
spouse must first end their affair. Once that’s done, both spouses must commit to repairing
the damage, rebuilding trust, and working through the following steps to save their
marriage and emerge stronger on the other side. Here they are:
1. Openly talk about the affair. In order to move past the infidelity, it’s
important that both partners are given the opportunity to share their feelings and get
the insight they need to move on. The betrayed spouse should ask questions about the things
they need to know. For example, how long did the affair last? Was it sexual or emotional?
What was the extent of the lies that were told to conceal it? And is there any risk
of an STD or pregnancy? Although they may have the urge to learn the x-rated details
of the sexual encounters, they shouldn’t ask. Instead of causing more unnecessary pain,
keep the focus on the relationship, not the affair.
It’s also important that the unfaithful spouse shares the thoughts and feelings they
had that caused them to cheat. Doing so will help you both understand the underlying problems
you face. 2. Practice honesty and work on rebuilding
trust. It’s crucial that spouses provide all details
honestly and completely, and take the steps necessary to prove their trustworthiness.
Even though telling the truth can be tough, it’s been proven that couples heal better
after an affair if the adulterous spouse supplies all of the information requested by his or
her betrayed partner. If you never discuss it, you cannot recover. A willingness to talk
about the affair will rebuild trust, but if you leave out details and they come out in
the future, then your spouse will feel betrayed all over again. Another great way to work on rebuilding trust
is by making sure that your actions match up with your words. For example, if you say,
“I love you,” back it up with loving actions. If you say, “I want our marriage to work,”
then commit to being monogamous. There is nothing worse for your partner than to find
out they’re being lied to. 3. Patiently face your feelings. Infidelity has a devastating impact on a marriage,
but if you can stop and fully feel the heartache, you will be surprised at what is possible.
Once you face your feelings and give yourself time to process them, they will begin to shift.
It’s true you’ll never forget the affair, but with time, the painful memories will begin
to fade. The single best indicator of whether a relationship
can survive infidelity is how much empathy the unfaithful partner shows when the betrayed
spouse gets emotional about the affair. It can be frustrating to hear the same things
over and again, but it’s important to be understanding of their feelings. After an
affair is over, a couple has a window of opportunity to fix what was wrong and make their marriage
better than ever. However, the emotional reactions that are left over from the affair may stand
in the way. It’s important that spouses takes healing seriously and don’t try to
rush their recovery. Grieving together can help you let go of what’s lost to make room
for your future together. 4. Learn to deal with resentment. Once a husband and wife agree to work towards
rebuilding their love for each other, you may think that that all would be forgiven.
While that may be the case, it’s not likely that all will be forgotten. Since a spouse’s
unfaithfulness is one of the most painful experiences anyone can have in life, it’s
not uncommon for couples to find that the memory of their spouse’s affair haunts them
even decades after it happened. Although the resentment caused by an affair
can push couples to consider ending their marriage, most affairs do not lead to divorce.
In fact, most spouses try to reconcile, and usually succeed. That said, even after a successful
reconciliation, resentment is a feeling that will linger on and on. At times you may feel
you’ve overcome it, but unfortunately it is something that will return time and time
again 5. Do things together Couples that spend time together and have
shared interests recover from infidelity much more quickly and effectively. Make a point
to discover or rediscover things that you can do together that you both enjoy, it’s
a great way to spend quality time together, create new memories and become more emotionally
intimate. By keeping busy, you and your spouse will
have less free time to sit around and dwell on the affair. Trying new activities and exploring
new interests together will also give you both the chance you need to reconnect.
6. Recommit yourself to the relationship. The emotional fallout from infidelity can
take years to heal, but if you want to stay together, then act like you do.
To help you recommit to the marriage, think back to when they first met or got married.
How did you fall in love? Why did you get married? What did the relationship look like
back then? Now, think about the future you wanted to spend together, your plans to enjoy
retirement together, travel and enjoying family activities. What does that look like? 7. Seek professional help. Often times, couples dealing with infidelity
will choose to attend counselling together. Talking to an outside third party can give
you both the help you need to understand the unmet needs in your marriage, and it can also
speed up with healing process. That said, it does take time. If you’re still on the fence about councelling
but would like to start repairing your marriage today, then visit to watch
the full length video presentation. 8. Start fresh.
Once you are ready to move on, it’s important that you let go of any old thoughts or behaviours
that triggers memories of the affair, and replace them with things that encourages you
to be committed, content and faithful in your marriage. In order to truly get over infidelity it’s
important that you do not hold the affair over your partner’s head. If every time
your bicker it leads back to what happened, then neither of you are going to be able to
grow and move on together. Well that wraps things up, I hope you enjoyed
the video and are feeling confident about overcoming the issues in your marriage. If
you have any questions for me in regards to anything I covered, please feel free to post
in the comments below and I’ll do my best to get back to you. That’s all for now, thanks for watching
and until next time, take care.

About the author


  1. my wife wants a divorce but she refuses to do the papers. She also still tells me she loves me. Is it all a front and what should i do to get her back?

  2. Hi Brad, I have been watching your videos since my husband left, almost a year ago. I was heartbroken and devastated and believed it was all my fault but later discovered he had been having an affair. I tried all your strategies and I have been fighting so hard to try and fix the marriage, but I have come to a point where I have accepted it is time to let go. While I couldn't save my marriage, I am grateful to have come across your videos because I will take so many learnings into my future relationships. I am hoping for a new beginning. Please keep up all the videos, they helped me through a very painful time (they are very comforting), I'm sure they're helping so many others.

  3. My wife wants to leave me for having a sexual addiction (looking at porn) but I found out she is also having relationships with men sexual through social media and texting. I feel like she will say that it's because she doesn't want to be with me anymore.

  4. Hi, This isn't about marriage but it is a situation I've been trying to deal with. My ex broke up with me a while back because she didn't feel the same about me and now she is with one of my old friends. She had feelings for him even when she was with me, she says. I don't know what to do. I would do anything to have her back in my life but I am not sure what steps to take. We barely talk any now and she seems very happy with him, and I respect her choices and I want her to be happy but the thing is I want her to be happy with me. How can I get her back in my life. I need a miracle Mr. Browning. Thank you.

  5. Is there any hope of repairing the marriage if my husband has been having an affair for two years and emphatically denies it (I have proof) ?
    What can I do while it's still going on ?

  6. great video thank you! the first step you say is your spouse ending contact with affair spouse….well what if they have never told you they ended it, they just stopped working at the same place? so because he no longer works there, the affair is over for sure? he's very defensive when I mention it, yelling at me that he ended it. he has never humbly told me on his own will its over with his affair partner, nor has he showed any proof that he ended it. he's not remorseful, doesn't show compassion and he won't initiate recovery. so I feel there are still signs he is still in the affair. please help! and thank you!

  7. an affair? no affair… Just a cheater. random folks. saying at work but at clubs having ONS. meeting online to have hook ups. pitiful!
    But when I say let's end he says NO he loves me. liar.

  8. Everything I read or watch about "recovering from cheating" says there has to be total honesty, apologies and understanding how the other spouse feels. Wow. I guess my marriage is doomed, lol. My husband had an affair behind my back for about a year and a half. Then I started hearing rumors that there were others too… He NEVER told me about it. Never admitted anything. I found out through the other women telling me, text messages, cards, letters, boxes of condoms hidden everywhere, etc. And one woman showing up at my job and contacting me on Facebook. Its been 2 years since I found out, now. I thought maybe in the beginning, he was just too embarrassed to open up and come clean. So I gave it LOTS of time, hoping he would calm down and relax, and THEN I would finally get some honesty and an apology. NOPE! To this day, he still won't admit anything. Won't apologize. Claims he never did anything wrong. Shows ZERO remorse. Calls me and the other women crazy. Keeps his phone and computer locked with passwords. Disappears all day, or all night, with NO explanation as to where he has been. No matter what I say or do, I cannot get him to be honest, or apologize, or understand how I feel. He just doesn't seem to care at all. He says he doesn't want me to leave. But if I do, I better have a VERY GOOD and permanent situation set up somewhere else, and I better not ever try to come back or contact him again. I don't think a recovery can come from that… I don't think he cares. He is just taking advantage of me, because I have nowhere to go. After my first divorce, I was living with my parents. Then I met him. After we moved in together, both my parents tragically died, 6 months apart (both of heart attacks). They were my only real family. He knows I have nowhere else to go. And he abuses that.

  9. What do you do if your spouse refuses to talk about the affair and all the lies after said affair and will not go to counseling together?

  10. Im not married but I have had a girlfriend for a couple years and she cheated. It has been about 5 months since but I dont want to just be survivors of it, i just want it all gone. I feel like its going to bog down the specialness of everything in our relationship. Like we arent really as great as we though we were and all our dreams for the future cant be a bright as they were before. So now im just living my life calling ourselves survivors rather than being 100% secure in my relationship as i once had. This makes me cry all the time. I need someone to help me.

  11. I'm so embarrassed, my husband of 6 years married for a total of 17 years together betrayed me & lied to my face. Last year around June we were at a very bad place. We lived together but wasn't talking to each other & we slept in 2 separate rooms. After listening to your podcasts & I started to apply them in my life things started to change for the better for us. Around the end of August we decided we were going to give us another chance. Everything from August up until March has been the best months of our relationship. Unfortunately my husband & I were enjoying one of our anniversaries & I received a call from a woman telling me about a sexual relationship that they had from June to October. I cannot explain the feelings I had on that day. The things she told me crushed me to my core. Afterwards he told me his truth about his affair which he don't believe it was an affair. He thinks it was just sex. He told me that in his mind we were completely over & he just didn't care what he did at that time. The woman is someone that I had already reached out to in July & left a voicemail asking her if she knew he was married with children & to please stay away from him. Obviously she didn't since the had sex for 5 months & once he stopped all communication with her she decided to call me to tell me everything. However, she did say that he has not reached out to her in anyway since October but honestly they are both liars in my book. She said she just wanted to clear her mind. Yes she sounds bitter & yes he sounds remorseful. The problem I'm having is that, I feel the whole time I thought we were so happy was a lie. I don't know what was real or fake in our relationship & yes I have decided to forgive my husband but I don't know how. A couple days we are better than we have ever been then the next few days I'm feeling hurt & sad all over again. He of course wants us to just move on but I can't keep the betrayal out of my mind. He has been doing & saying the right things but how do I know if they are true. He says I have nothing to worry about because he never want to see me hurt like that again & his biggest fear is that I'll retaliate. Counseling is not an option. I feel like I'm drowning what can I do???

  12. About a month before we were supposed to get married, a girl I went to high school with messaged me on Facebook that her and my fiancé had been sending nude pictures and videos to each other. She told me that it had been stopped for almost a month but she was feeling really guilty and had to let me know.

    When I confronted my fiancé he was a mess. Throwing up, crying himself to sleep. He told me that it didn't feel real to him, it was like porn that you could interact with. He did end up stop talking to her on his own, and didn't tell me because he had ended it and thought it would hurt me less that I would have to know it ever happened.

    I knew he was truly sorry. He showed me everyday with his words and his actions. I decided to still go on with the marriage.

    That was actually kind of a magical time, we both re realized how much we loved each other and the passion we had in the beginning came back.

    However, now that it has been a couple months since things calmed down, my emotions are starting to get worse. I know still in my heart that I want this to work out and that it is the best thing for both of us but it is just so hard sometimes to convince myself that staying in a relationship I know I will still have pain and resentment in years later is worth it. I don't know how to get out of the dark whole my mind is replaying everything they told me over and over every day.

    Once we have talked all we can talk about and I have thought all I can think about it now it is just repeating itself, is it better to just push those thoughts out of my head? Downplay it in my mind once I have decided I am staying?

    How do I get the spiral of memories out of my head and try and be normal again?

  13. Hey, this is a great video!! Im not married yet. I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for over a year now and we are thinking about marriage. He asked if we were to get married and he did cheat how would I handle it and I told him I would divorce him. But he doesn't believe in divorce, because God says he hates divorce. How can you truly forgive someone and learn to trust them all over again?!

  14. Hi Brad, Im currently separated with no contact from my hubby. He has forgiven me for the affair but not on the harsh words I said to him. I do want to fix and heal or marriage. I am giving him his space that he needs. We are seeking counseling.

  15. Hi Brad My husband had an affair before marriage which he did not tell me before.He is not in contact with her but does not get physical with me to overcome this

  16. my wife wants me to come home Becouse of the kids but says she only wants to be friends , we both made mistakes and I forgave her, but now she is going on dates and everything and but wants me to come home but ain't getting devorced says she wants to find her self and everything Becouse she ain't happy Becouse I didint trust her like i should and all it was good then bam next day she gone we live together but she won't try to work it out what do I do she changed me so much and everything to be who I am today help

  17. Brad, just wanted to ask you, I know for certain that my husband is having an emotional affair, so how can I get him back. He doesn't know that I know.

  18. sir my parents decide a girl for marry but after 3 month I come to know that she has affaire in past…. now she is saying that I forgotten my past…. but I doubt that she still love her BF now what to do sir…. should I Mary or not???

  19. I find out my husband has been continuing the affair behind my back that has lasted over 3 years now. I found out when it was barely an year old but he promised he stopped the affair only to find out its still ongoing with the same girl. I am extremely devastated, we share a child together. Please advice ?

  20. Please Brad I need an advice from you, I have been married to my husband for 5months now and there was something terrible about my past that I told him now and he wants a separation but i love my husband so much. What can I do now ? He doesn't have any affection for me anymore. Please I need your advice thanks

  21. Brad 3 weeks ago I found out my wife had an "emotional affair" which I think was sexual also… It was nine months long. I forgave her and she agreed to try and make things work. She denies having slept with this person of course. That bothers me a little bit but what bothers me the most is not knowing this persons name, what he looks like and stuff about him that she liked….. Am I wrong for wanting to have closure on that. And of course I wouldn't do anything stupid… that's not the reason for wanting to know

  22. My husband cheated on me 13yrs ago and then just recently end another affair after 1 1/2 yes, I can't get past the hurt the pain, I ask my husband why he tells me I pushed him away I don't believe I did that because he should have seen what was going through myself, I work 6 days out of the week just like him and his side jobs, I tended to the kids taking them to school picking them up rushing home to cook, clean, making sure the bills were paid making sure we had groceries, if kids had projects I was running to the store, along sure my husband had his medicine, and that he took it, I would tell my husband how exhausted I was sometimes I didn't feel like having sex he started to use Meth, he was talking to his friend ex wife without me knowing and the affair went on till aug 2017 i then had given up by January 2017 i started seeing other men and sleeping around when he decided to come back after this older women drugged him with Valium he ended came back to me because he was tired and wanted me back, I really didn't want him back but then I did I do love him but I also hate him for what's did, I can't stop throwing things in his face about the affair and the dumb crazy ass BITCH, which I hate, I told him he had hurt me bad, the relationship he had with our youngest son is bad

  23. Thank you, this video really helped. After 10 years of marriage I still can't believe it happened. Its over now n we working on it but it's still n the 1st 24hours. I would not wish this pain on the worst of people. God bless all.

  24. I’m not sure if you’ll actually get to this or reply to it. Trust, honesty and loyalty is a massive massive deal to me. I think that’s normal. In the past I have walked away at the slightest act of betrayal. I recently met and fell in love with my boyfriend. We’ve only been together approx 1 year but I just found out that early into the relationship up until we fully realized how much we loved one another, he had been sexting other girls. Not frequently but enough to give him that thrill of a chase. He had been single for so long and almost over night I became the center of his world. He said that sexting these girls was a way to still feel that excitement. Now, he did quit on his own once realizing that we had something special and worthy and I found out about the texts after. I know things could have been a lot worse and I’m thankful they weren’t. I don’t question his love for me but it is still so hard to fully let go and feel the way I did before. This is the first time I haven’t severed all ties after a betrayal and I definitely want to fight for us. I just sometimes feel lost on how I can do that. How can I feel on top of the world and certain again? I want to stop holding this over his head as I’m sure you can see that it wasn’t very serious. He never did anything physical and never did anything once we became something more than dating. Help!

  25. Brad,
    Have you ever heard of a MFT who is seeing your mate for sex addiction, refuse to see (you)? And tell your partner that they are only treating your mate…..then suggest another counselor for you as a couple………i want to be part of his recovery, and feel rejection on yet another level. My mate only repeats what he has been told, not knowing how to proceed…..Also, this therapist can only see my mate once a month and has had a full blown relapse (swinger sites, meeting strange women for sex).
    I packed and left, however my partner is now in several AA meetings a week, looking for a sponsor, told all is friends and family that he is in Sobriety (for alcohol and sex), but I can't shake this therapists terms in handling someone who obviously needs to up his trestments….have you ever heard of a therapist excluding the spouse????

  26. My wife and I have been separated for 4 months . we were actively working towards reconciliation over issues involving children from previous relationships for 3 months . 20 days ago my wife got extremely angry over frequency of phone calls I made to my children's mother during the separation and said she wanted divorced. I found out a few days later she is seeing someone else and all communication has ceased. She changed her number and I don't know where she currently lives. Is there any hope for reconciliation? Please help

  27. Hi Brad. I’ve been with my husband together as a couple for 8yrs and married for 2. I found out recently that he’s cheated on me 3 times. Once prior to our marriage and the other 2 after we were married. He met them on Tinder as dating site. His reason is he’s so insecure with himself and seeks he attention to feel better about himself. He has had the worst of the worst of childhood upbringings (i.e. sexual abuse, parents on drugs and witnessing verbal & physical abuse, as well as being made fun of as a child & teen). Those things don’t validate or excuse his actions but i sort of see where his insecurities stem from. He said he was trying to end what he did by being friends with the woman..knowing it was wrong still. I asked for a divorce but now we are seeking marital & individual counseling. So far he hasn’t had his personal counseling due to schedule conflicts. I feeling like he has remorse but also feels like he has no emotion, unless i talk about ending the marriage. I’m very confused and lost. We never fought. I asked if he was happy and he responded with yes, and he doesn’t know why he did this. We honestly seemed like a great couple but i had no idea he was living a double life

  28. what if your wife shows your naked pictures to her trusted friends and making a fool out of you, how can you forgive something like that ?

  29. Hi Sir, I am from Pakistan. She marry me with her own will but After one month of marriage I come to know my wife has an online emotional affair and she wants divorce and now blaming me for all this and that's totally lie all because she has an affair. I did my best. But I am her husband I would fight for my wife when she is detracted, she is doing wrong coz I think she is too young to understand the reality of all this she is 18, now we are separate. Now we took her mobile to cut her contact with that guy first and I am not in contact with her as well. But I am posting our pics on her FB account to keep family and friends unaware about all this to keep respect for future. Her family members are trying to convince her that she is taking wrong step and she has to step back. Not now they are taking her to the psychologist..please guide me about my situation. Actually she is addicted to the online mobile apps like Bigo and getting crazy day by day like myphobia..please help me.Many thanks

  30. To me cheating is unacceptable and shouldn't be tolerated. It's hard because for me once trust is gone it's hard to get it back. Always wondering what that person is doing when you aren't around, or what they might be doing on their phone is not a life I want to live. It's not easy to leave but it's necessary because once someone shows you their true colors believe them.

  31. I think you should do an online cheating video my husband is talking to other females online (some sexual) he is denial that's cheating I moved out because of this I'm at lost of what to do he says that we are together but won't stop talking to girls

  32. It's true that the wayward spouse has to be 100% supportive and understanding with the betrayed spouse. Especially when continually bringing up the affair. It may be frustrating for the wayward, but it's part of the healing process for the betrayed. They've been through a huge trauma and it's sort of like their brain trying to come to terms with the affair. The brain of the betrayed plays the affair over and over again shortly after the affair is brought to light and they are just trying to make sense of it all.

  33. My husband had multiple affairs physically or emotionally ( sexchat). I caught him once again and he accepted to do something to rebuild marriage BUT doesn't want to consult.
    Is it a good idea ? How can we walk through this without any help ?
    Please answer. I am so frustrated, I need to talk to someone about my pain, fear, and depression. But he's not a good listener and isn't willing to talk about that. He rather prefer not to talk about that and let time make it through.
    But I know I can't stand 5 years on again like this.

  34. Brad, the number one thing is exactly that. She cannot will not let it go. We can experience 3 months of peace and bliss and then bam one day she is reliving that moment like a Vietnam flashback. Where shes full of hate hurt and bitter animosity. We have been going through this vicious circle for years. It's affecting me mentally emotionally and physically. I often think about suicide cuz I cannot fix this problem

  35. Hi Brad, my boyfriend and I have been for 5 years together… During the summer i was shocked to know that he was getting to know another girl… His excuse was that they were just friends and nothing happened between them… Whenever i'd touch his phone, he'd go crazy trying to take it away… He even stood up for the girl and refused to end his so called friendship with her… I dumped him for 3 days… They were the hardest because I always tried to look if they were online together… If they are seeing each other… He tried to reach me out and I tried to forgive what he did… When we got back together he started acting distant, not even holding my hand… And whenever I tried to call it quits, he'd beg me to return… Anyway after 5 months of being neglected by him and me trying everything i could to get his attention back he finally came back to his senses… So we got back together but then I started feeling chocked… Didnt want this relationship, went into depression, signed two warnings at my job broke up with him… Didnt feel the need to talk to him although I always asked my sister about him because they're friends… On new year's eve I got jealous because I saw his picture with some other girls… We got back together but since then i keep on giving excuses to just get away from although I truly love him… I keep on thinking that I should leave him… I should be with someone else… I dont want that… I've been suffering from eating disorder because of this situation and I dont know how to fix it although he fixed everythinh he's done…. It's like one day I'm fine and happy with him and 5 days crying myself to sleep hoping and praying that I wont lose him because of these thoughts…

  36. nice vid man am having prob with my wife been in a thug of war situation with the other guy for 3years twas hard especialy it was a coworker whom 5x a week seeing each other…need to move on but i cant am always thinking of our kids

  37. I have been hur in my research with my husband hr isdoing me the same thing I am in pane I help because I don'trhing this is going to last

  38. I’m sorry but it was completely his choice. And I’m not going to be with someone who hurt me. Or made me feel less than. I don’t care how much I love them I will not settle ever because I know my worth.

  39. My husband says he hasn't cheated but he has thoughts about infidelity we have 2 children and we had gotten into an argument over an ex messaging him and he told me he was no longer happy and doesn't want to work it out… we split up before we got married and recommitted almost a year later and a year after that got married… Things have been stressful but he still acted as tho he loved me and was happy until that argument what do I do? the next morning after telling me he's leaving. He hasn't told me when he's moving out and has been acting normal…

  40. Your very first comment is to end the affair. I just found out my husband of 32 years has been having a long term affair. He says he will no longer have sex with her but wants to remain friends. HELP!!! what do you think of this? I can't handle it. I say he must cut all contact. He says he wants our marriage to work and he will not leave me, but he also says he wants to remain friends with her.

  41. Caught my wife twice being unfaithful, I asked how come she is like this, she said cause I don't give her enough attention..
    I said so when I don't give you the attention you need, then I should worry about you always flirting with other men Bening my back..
    Now she feels insulted cause I don't trust her ..

  42. A husband who loves the extended family more than the wife and makes the wife feel insecure is also seen as infidelity. It must not be with one woman out there.

  43. my husband cheated on me about 1year ago. i came across the facts about 2months and i am not able to cope with the facts. it was his ex. when i questioned him, he said that he just wanted to teach her a lesson by having sex with her once as they had never did it in the past. but i found out that he gave her money, gifts, his time etc. my husband work he remains so busy. i never thought that i would do this to me. i had blind faith on him. that bitch also is married and have kids too. my husband apologise and promised not to do that again. how will i trust again. i am shattered. i love him so much. how wil i know if it was emotional or a sexual affair. what if they started loving each other again. he told me that its the other woman who started call and text him 1st. they ended by going in rooms but couldnt have sex. how to trust. maybe love is strong that is why sex was not important. i am confused n broken. he says jlhe loves me only?? plz help me.

  44. after 19 years, 18 Deployments ( Her 8 me 11) 2 kids, numerous funerals, 2 surgeries., multiple injuries…I caught her having a "emotional" relationship ( sex talk etc) on the internet…..she broke it off clean……but the pain is Soul crushing……I dont tell her Im hurting…..I put it in a box and lock it away…she doesnt want to talk about it either….at first she felt no remores or guilt or shame…..finally she came and asked me for forgiveness…..I am angry…..I feel betrayed…..I told her I forgive her…I gave my word to never bring it up again……Why do I feel like Im the one who cheated?….I am loyal to US and our family…I dont know how long I can keep this up…..Im living in Hell…..I tell her I wont quit on us….but on the inside Im broken….i cannot tell anyone of our friends or Team-mates for fear of our children learning about it from their children. Im living day to day….any help would be greatly appreciated.

  45. Oh I think that it has ended but I BELEAVE that he has been bouncing around now even back to me but he does denie it and I witnessed it .I also witnessed it and that is what hurts.

  46. I want to reconcile but he has to show allot of remorse and Compation to help me heal and to heal our marriage My heart is broken and I want to do more with him I want to be with him.

  47. I have been married to my husband for 6 years and with in that period I had to deal with multiple adultery and infidelities I also had to walk in our home and meet my husband having sex with another woman on our marital bed I stayed and try my best to deal with that pain as best as I knew how to,when my husband find it wasn't enough 3 years ago while during my pregnancy with our daughter he decided to lead on someone new,he'll be on phone calls with her in my present and tell her lies like him and I r divorce I'm living by my mom when in fact I'm right there we'll have arguments over those situations I took so much until I didn't know what to do so I move out with my child and came by my grandmother to live it's been 2 years since we have be separated but we where having sex on and off only came to find out while him and I was sexual active he was having sex with her and she is still in a relationship with her child father also who's cheating on her as well,she was pregnant and she didn't know who d father of d child could've been so she got ride of it now my husband is blaming me for his infidelity and telling our friend and family he no longer see a future for his marriage, he doesn't want to work to keep his marriage and as he said he wanted to have sex with this girl and that's who he's seeing a future with,Brad Browning can I get some advice on what I should do please?… Cause I really do love my husband and I want my marriage to work for d sake of my daughter and myself,I've been left feeling hurt,lost,broken and most of all hateful to them both and he doesn't want to discuss his infidelity and adultery

  48. One of the thing i have a lot of trouble with is how it has tainted other things in our life, her affair started right when we bought our new house, and i know things took place in her new car, now being around these things twists my stomach and ignites resentment.

  49. I made the mistake of giving a woman I met on a plane my contact details. She messaged me a few times and I replied. There was never anything sexual in the messages, but 6 months later my wife found out. I am 55 and she is 52. My wife then went onto Facebook and found the woman who I had messaged. My wife was very upset because the woman resembled my wife and was 16 years younger.

    My wife now wants a divorce. She keeps demanding that I tell her why I messaged this woman and becomes angry when I can’t really explain the reason. I feel sick to the base of my soul as I have never been unfaithful, but can understand how hurt she is by my actions.

    We are coming up to 29 years of marriage in August 2020 and have been relatively happy. However we have drifted apart a little over the last 4 – 5 years.

    To make matters worse I work overseas 1 month on, 1 month off. I am now at work and she is at home stewing. Every day she sends me an angry e mail or message. I don’t want a divorce as my wife is everything in a woman I have ever wanted, attractive, beautiful, sexy, intelligent, funny, a fantastic friend, a home maker and great mother.

    Have I destroyed everything?

  50. my husband of six years just cheated on me..he real apologized ..ended the affair and is trying his best to make things work..i love him but i hate him too much for cheating since i trusted him so much,,any advise on how to overcome emotionally tomented i dont want him to see him sometimes

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