How To Talk To Your Spouse About Money| Marriage and Money

what’s up legacy builders I’m Rob I’m
Reshawn and this is Learn Hustle Grow Learn Hustle Grow is about creating a legacy we’re
sharing our passions for money marriage and travel with other legacy builders
like you one of the questions we get often is how do you get your spouse on
board how do you get your spouse on board with investing how do you get your
spouse on board with paying off debt you want to pay off debt you want to invest
you and your spouse are a great team but you just can’t seem to get on the same
page about money you have attempted to discuss the topic but have yet to be
successful if only you could convince him or her to join you in this mission
how’s it going so far did you start the conversation with a
spreadsheet have you asked your spouse to listen today Ramsey these are not
horrible ideas how did your spouse respond you were watching this video so
no need to answer let’s start the conversation in a different way before
we go any further make sure you join our community of legacy builders please like
and subscribe hit the notification bell to keep up with our future videos know
someone who might benefit from this video feel free to share what did your
spouse get excited about what would he or she love to do or be where would they
like to go if you don’t know that’s okay we get so busy with the day-to-day that
we forget to make time to dream together we talk about bills but never stop to
talk about what we could accomplish together beyond the bills so the first
step in getting your spouse on board is dream together spend time over a cup of
coffee or dinner just talking about your dreams let it all out
sky’s the limit this is not the time to talk about how this is not the time to
set goals you might start the conversation with if money were no
obstacle watch your spouse’s face take note at
makes him or her light up there’s something that he or she wants to do
they haven’t even begun to think about adulting can make our dreams seem far
off in the distance you’ll have to do this more than once the next time the
two of you are dreaming together ask more detailed questions when would you
like to take that trip to Hawaii when would you like to open your own business
what if we could make that happen sooner you and your spouse need a shared vision
for the future of your family yes most couples want to raise happy healthy
children who make a positive contribution to society is it possible
that your purpose extends beyond your immediate family as a legacy builder
it’s your responsibility to think about your children’s children what if the
plans you have for your family could change the lives of others each of us
was created with a purpose we are all responsible for reaching our full
potential whatever your purpose is once you’ve conquered money it makes
everything else possible when you’re not worried about money you have the time
and freedom to serve it’s important to understand your individual money beliefs
whether or not we verbalize them we all have feelings about money
think about how you grew up we both grew up poor
we understand that growing up without money shape the way that we think about
money today growing up we both associate well with Fame expensive cars and
designer brands our only exposure to wealth were those images provided by the
media before technology billionaires hit the scene athletes and celebrities were
held up as the epitome of success in American culture we didn’t have any
direct exposure to successful people when we got access to money we purchase
things that made us feel less poor we now associate money with freedom
opportunity and legacy building some people spend when they’re happy like me
others spend when they’re sad it’s important to understand the reasons
behind our spending this will help you focus on empowering
each other during the planning process could the reason for spending become the
reason for saving and investing did you grow up with money if you have always
had money it could be difficult to empathize with someone who has not did
you grow up poor if so you may Harbor some resentment for those who live
comfortably what did your parents teach you directly or indirectly even if they
never spoke about money their behavior left an impression on you what do you
think about rich people do you believe the wealthy are selfish greedy and
corrupt what do you think about poor people do you see them as lazy do you
think poor people are victims what does a rich person look like is wealth based
upon material possessions could the dry cleaner or the plumber be rich
do you hate money do you love money money is just a tool our history with
money and our feelings about money create our money mindset you have
discussed the components of your money mindset
let’s talk further about vision and purpose who are you as a couple what do
you want for your family consider writing down your vision and purpose
statement Rob and I believe the following we walk out our faith leaving
an inheritance to our children and their children want blessing those less
fortunate debt-free living always grateful always giving always growing
the decisions we make for our life together must line up with this
statement it reminds us to be grateful for all that we have even when we are
not where we want to be becoming debt-free is only the beginning
sharing what we have learned is part of how we give to others we all need to
grow stepping out of our comfort zone to try new things helps us to grow
international travel and creating this YouTube channel have both stretched us
in ways we could not have imagined what are you learning how are you growing
together you will do great things you just have to decide what they are
if our vision and purpose statement resonate with you feel free to use it if
not consider it a template what are the principles that guide you if you are not
familiar with the concept of a vision and purpose statement it might take some
time to embrace the idea you can always come back to it
for those husband’s who are struggling with clarity of vision a woman’s
greatest need is security I find it both comforting and attractive that my
husband has a big picture vision for our family it’s one of the things I admire
most about him your statement of vision and purpose is a living breathing
document as you change feel free to change your document now is the time to
create a plan you will work together to turn a dream into a goal you will begin
by discussing obstacles what is keeping you from doing it right now one of the
things that Rochelle and I have discovered while talking to other
couples is I love you doesn’t mean full transparency with finances if your
finances are separate now is the time to put everything on the table you have to
be honest with yourselves regarding what you are facing joining your finances is
not about turning your finances over to your spouse both parties should be aware
of your shared financial position in the event that one of you should leave this
earth the other party must be in a position to maintain the household
finances be open to the idea that there might be surprises remember you vowed to
love this person for better and for worse be respectful do not insult your
spouse remain calm if there’s that make the decision to pay it off together if
the conversation becomes overwhelming step away with a plan to revisit it if
the discussion seems like too much for you to seek the support of a licensed
marriage counselor do not give up in order to move forward
your spouse needs to accept responsibility for his or her
any choices he or she cannot do that if you shamed them it may look like a mess
the sooner you get in front of it the better today’s test is tomorrow’s
testimony perhaps there is no major debt maybe your finances are shared but your
spouse is skeptical about investing this is where you refer back to his or her
dreams what are your shared values does your
reason for investing connect back to those values can you demonstrate to your
spouse that you have done your due diligence when it comes to investing if
your spouse is skeptical about investing it is unfair to ask him or her to trust
your gut what books have you read what classes have you taken
can you put pen to paper in order to provide your spouse with numbers that
support your vision there are online calculators for just about everything if
your spouse is a numbers person you need to speak their language if the two of
you are in agreement regarding the obstacles the next step is to discuss
how to remove them lay out all of your debt and a payoff spreadsheet and put
all of your monthly expenses and income in a personal budget spreadsheet both
can be found at learn hustla grow calm on the resources tab do you know where
you both stand regarding credit use annual credit to get your
free credit report use Credit Karma to get your free credit score if this
sounds like a lot it’s because it is this is not to be done in a day or even
a week you know your spouse move at the pace that’s comfortable for your
relationship if you cannot get to a shared vision for your life that
includes finances it might be time to seek marriage counseling there may be
feelings that your spouse is not comfortable sharing with you there might
be history that prevents you from making progress we all have baggage Trust is
essential during this process if either of you has been married before or has
children from a previous relationship those are important factors
do you both have wills stating your intention to protect one another and
your children can help your spouse feel more secure remember progress equals
happiness not perfection are you and your spouse on the same page financially
did we miss anything are you a legacy builder share your
experience comment below see you in the next video

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