“A Terrible Marriage.” Hello. I got married less than a year ago. I met a tall, handsome man and got a beautiful son. Am I happy? Not at all. I want to end this terrible marriage. When we were dating, my husband said, “I want to marry you so badly.” Marriage, marriage, marriage. He always said he wanted to marry me. “Honey. To be honest… I’m pregnant.” “Really? Oh no. Why don’t we not have this baby?” (Everyone is in shock) Once I got pregnant, he changed completely. In the end, we got married and had a son, but… “Honey, how do I look? I put makeup on.” “Geez. What’s the point? Even then, you’re just an old married woman.” “Honey, why don’t we go on a date?” “Forget it. Why bother?” I don’t know when I last held hands with my husband. “Why did you marry me? Let’s get divorced!” “Oh, come on. Fine. I’m sorry. Are you happy now?” Must I tolerate being treated this way and stayed married to him? Please hear me out on Hello Counselor. The concern itself is serious. But it sounds more serious because of his voice. (Dark force) I can understand this concern because I think we were immature when we were newlyweds. Now that I think back on our lives… Didn’t you fight more back then? Yes. We were two immature people back then. When you told him that you were pregnant, what did Choi Minsoo say? Your first baby. “Honey, I’m pregnant.” He bragged about himself. (I’m awesome) Why would he brag about himself? I get it. Why would he brag about himself? I get it. What is it? Tell me. I was amazed by his reaction, too. When I told him that I was pregnant, he said, “See? I told you.” “I told you we could get pregnant.” Like that? That’s peculiar. What about you, Star? I wasn’t ready to be a mom at the time. We got pregnant right away, so I cried. Haha was very upset by that. Some couples want to enjoy the honeymoon period. As for me, I told my wife first. “You’re pregnant.” (In a daze…) (You are really something, Shin Dongyeob) I’m sorry. What did your wife say? “I’m pregnant?” (Just know that you’re pregnant) Please come on out. (Who’s unhappy because of her changed husband?) (Kim Suyun) As I introduced your story, everybody became quiet. Your husband changed after you got pregnant? Yes, before we started dating, he always said he wanted to marry me. Before dating or before you got married? Before you got married. He came over to my house and said he wanted to marry me. He actively pursued you. Then when I told him that I was pregnant, he said, “This is wrong. Let’s get rid of it.” What? He said, “I’ll tell the parents later. Let’s have a baby after we get married.” I didn’t agree with him. I said, “If we’re going to get married anyway, what’s wrong with having a baby first?” He just said he wasn’t ready. We argued a lot because of this. I cried so much that I got dehydrated and ended up in the ER. In the end, we got our parents’ permission, got married in February and had our son in June. How long did you date before you got married? We met last summer, got pregnant within 3 months and got married within a year. If you weren’t ready, he should’ve been prepared for that. Kim Jongmin doesn’t know anything. You should know before you get married. He asked, “Can you have a baby in 3 months?” What are you talking about? 4 months? Give birth in 4 months? 10 months. I know that. (What are we going to do with him?) Where is your son today? I’ve been living with my parents since May. My mom is looking after the baby right now. My husband comes to see the baby after work, but he doesn’t talk to me. He just leaves after seeing the baby. When I was in the postpartum care center, I was in pain. Of course. My pelvic bones were dislocated, so I couldn’t move. I asked him to get some things for me and he said he was too tired after work and told me to get them myself. He got angry at me. – In the postpartum care center? / – Yes. He’d lie down and just watch World Cup games. Soccer is causing too many problems today. Oh gee. I’m glad you’re here today. Immature couples these days go straight to the court when they have conflicts. Please stop by here first. Right. Stop by before you go to court. Stop by. Let’s talk to the husband now. Hello. Hello. He seems nice. Is everything your wife said true? Some is true, but not everything. At that time, I quit my job and I was getting allowance from my dad after helping out with his work. I wasn’t financially ready, so I was flustered when she got pregnant. – It’s scary. / – Sure. I was really scared. You never thought she’d get pregnant? If you were planning to marry her… You should’ve been prepared. It’s not just her fault that she got pregnant. You should’ve used birth control. You could’ve used a condom or talked to her about using birth control until you got married. Did you not talk to her about it? We went on a trip to Jeonju then. You’re going into details now. And? I asked her. “This is our first trip. Are you… You know? You asked her if it was safe? She said it was okay. (What are you doing?) (Looking far into the distance) I understand that it would be frightening for the husband. I understand how you felt at the time, but could you tell me what you said to her then? Right. How he said what is important. Did you really tell her to get an abortion? Did he ask you to get an abortion? At the time… Do you feel bad? (He’s unable to speak) “I don’t think we should have a baby right now. Can you get an abortion?” That’s what I told her. That’s what he said to you? I was scared, but amazed at the same time. I intended to keep the baby, so I told my friends. They were happy for me because they would become aunts. When I told my husband, he just got serious and didn’t say anything. He said, “This isn’t right,” so I asked him, “That’s all you can say to me?” He said, “Let’s get an abortion and get pregnant later after we get married.” (How could you say that?) I understand that you reacted that way at first, but after you made a promise to keep it, couldn’t you have treated your wife better? At the time, I started a new job, so I was really tired. She gave birth around the World Cup season. I got her drinks and asked her if she ate. I also asked if she wanted to eat anything. I did the best I could. What upset me the most was that I wanted to make our baby’s clothes and I asked for $50. He said, “He’s not even born yet. Why make it? Go buy it with your own money.” Even after the baby was born, I needed money to buy baby supplies. Whenever I asked for money, he told me that he was broke, so I should spend my own money. He always told me that he was broke, but I always see him assembling his computer. He always buys new computer parts and electronic cigarettes. My wife always wants new things. My sister gave her a used baby bottle sterilizer. But at the postpartum center, I guess she saw a new model. She asked me to buy her a new one. At the time, I couldn’t afford it. It was reckless spending. That’s why I told her she didn’t need it. What about the parts? Electronic cigarettes? From what I’m hearing, it’s not about that baby bottle sterilizer. Have you spent money for your wife or baby? One time, I was looking through his phone. (What?) (What did we just hear?) I shouldn’t have looked through his phone, but he had spent a lot of money for his ex-girlfriend. He even paid $1,200 for her pilates class and bought her other things. You should’ve deleted those messages. He never tells me anything nice. He never tells me I did a good job. After I gave birth, my friend came and gave me flowers and a cake and said, “Good job.” (She got emotional) Let’s talk to other people first. I understand how she feels. We went on a trip together. Usually a married couple takes each other’s side. But when she makes a mistake, he looks upset. For example, when we go to cafes or restaurants, it’s normal for them to set napkins or share food with each other. They should be considerate of each other. But he doesn’t do that. My friend is not good at thanking other people. But he will bluntly express when he’s angry or dislikes something. What is that? – He shows it when he’s upset. / – He’s a child. (It’s frustrating) But it’s also true that she doesn’t trust him enough. My friend can never put down his phone. When he’s with us, she keeps calling him, texting him, and asking him to take pictures. Like I told you earlier, my friend can’t hide his emotions. We can tell that he’s upset. So things get awkward and sometimes, we all end up going home. We just say, “Let’s go home.” How do you feel about what his friend said? Yes, it’s true that I don’t trust him much. Are you afraid that he is with another woman? No. But he did hurt me in the beginning and I can’t reach him when he’s with his friends. He never calls or texts me. (They’ve lost trust in each other) I opposed this marriage from the start. Their personalities clashed and they don’t have the same hobbies, so they argued a lot. He doesn’t seem to be affectionate with her, so she’s lost her self-esteem. After my friend gave birth, she ended up in the ER from a high fever. I saw her husband there. It looked like he was aggravated by being there instead of being worried about her. – You were able to see that? / – Yes. But I also think it must be tough for him, too. Why do you think that? Let’s say my friend is texting someone. Her husband asks, “Who are you texting?” Instead of saying, “I’m texting my friend,” she says, “Why? Are you doubting me? Are you?” She gets mad at him for nothing. I do tend to speak harshly to him. I wanted him to understand me at once, but I have to say it over and over again. She storms out every time we fight. She sleeps in a motel. One time, it was when she was pregnant. I was worried about her, so I kept texting her to ask where she was. She ignored my texts. Then she replied, “I’m somewhere. I’ll stay here for the night.” She’s like that. I was so stressed out and depressed. That’s why I left. To be honest, I wanted him to come looking for me. But instead, he went out to drink with his friends and I couldn’t reach him. I’ll explain that. I was stressed because I couldn’t reach her. I had to relieve my stress, too. There’s a battery in electronic cigarettes. That battery was delivered with a dent. I was about to smoke it in my car and she stopped me because it could explode. She said, “We have a baby. It’s too dangerous.” So I told her, “It’s all right. It won’t explode.” So I was driving the car and cars were driving by us. She was about to jump out of the car. I was afraid the battery could explode. So I told him that I was too scared to be with him, so I would take a cab instead. He pushed me to stop me from getting off. So he threatened me. “I’ll crash into that car. I’ll kill you.” He said that he’ll kill you? That’s what he said. You both have terrible tempers. You are both hot-tempered. The baby is less than 100 days old and you are talking about getting a divorce. Are you upset about that? When she first talked about getting a divorce, I was upset. She always says she wants a divorce whenever we argue. – Your wife? / – Yes. I know that’s my fault. But that’s how hard it was for me. He should’ve been good to me when I was pregnant. But when I said I was hungry, he said he wasn’t. He’d tell me, “Stop stuffing your face with food.” Whenever he said that, did you say, “You’re not hungry. Let’s get divorced!”? No. Everything has piled up. – Everything piled up? / – Yes. I thought of divorcing him because he’s always mean to me. I was in the postpartum care center, in pain, and he was going through my Instagram out of boredom. He saw my old pictures. I was wearing a skimpy dress on a vacation. When he saw that, he made a mean comment. (What did he say?) “You look like a whore.” Oh my goodness. (You look like a whore) That really hurt my feelings. He shouldn’t have said that. You weren’t joking? (I was really heartbroken then) If he said, “You shouldn’t wear such skimpy clothes,” – then I would’ve understood. / – Sure. That’s not the issue. Why did you go through his phone and why did you go through her past Instagram posts? Was it for revenge? I guess that was part of the reason. But she was the one who showed me pictures she took with her ex-boyfriend. “Why didn’t you delete yours?” I was perplexed. What are you two doing here? I’ve said this before. A marriage must be done between two adults or two kids. If an adult and a kid get married, the marriage won’t last. Fortunately, two kids got married in this case. (What a nice conclusion) One side is not worse off than the other. But now you two are married. But up until you did get married, it was tough and he belittled you, so you have a grudge against him? Yes, and it’s making me depressed and stressed. I know you feel bad about the way you behaved. Maybe you should apologize to her at least once for that. I didn’t make those mean comments to you because I hate you. I think I made a mistake because I really loved you very much. I will try my best from now on. I’m sorry. To be honest, whenever I get mad at him, he always gives a half-hearted apology. But I want him to understand what he did wrong. He’s just apologizing to make it go away. I think your wife thinks that you don’t love her anymore after she got pregnant. How do you feel about her? – I still love her very much. / – Really? Then it’s over. – That’s enough. / – I agree. This is what I think. From the moment you told him about the baby, if he really didn’t love you, he would not have married you. Seeing how he has been trying hard to change, there is hope. Your friends were excited to hear the news that they were becoming aunts. They were excited. But then you told your boyfriend. He’s the one who is responsible for the baby. Your friends are not responsible for your baby. Your friends don’t feel any pressure. Right. I also want to say this. You want him to understand what you’re trying to say at once? That’s impossible. It took me 25 years. “Oh, this is why I shouldn’t have gotten married. People should not live together.” I realized that. Marriage is the hardest thing. That’s such realistic advice. I want to tell you this. If your husband doesn’t meet your expectations, you’ll always be angry. You must lower your expectations. If he doesn’t reach your expectations, whatever effort he gave will look pointless. So you’ll be angry and he’ll find it unfair. Haha met a great wife. I’m sure many things upset you, but there were some good things about her, too, right? When we took pictures with our baby, I felt, “This is what a real family is about.” I feel happy about that. I dare to say… He’s getting emotional, too. If you’re going to cry… You can’t force tears, you know. (Feeling bad) It breaks my heart. Please say a word to your husband. I’m sorry for being too harsh to you. I want you to listen to me when I talk to you. Please love our baby and me. Is it a concern or not? (He pressed it?) It’s not? Oh, it’s a concern. (Jongmin’s opinion: It’s a concern!) You’re good at miming. This is one of the reasons why I’m not married yet. When two people fight and compete, and I feel like I won, someone else is hurt. This is love and you must go together. It’s not a competition or a fight. There’s hope, so it’s not a concern. I want you both to spend that energy on the baby and not on each other. Then you’ll make a beautiful family. I think you both need to make firm, detailed promises. You can resolve this, so it’s not a concern. If you think it’s a concern for her, please press the button. (What does the audience think?) 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Please stop. Please say a word to your wife. We have a long life ahead of us. Let’s live a happy life with our son and not fight. Please show us the result. The first concern got 158 votes. Did they get over 100 votes? (How many could relate to this concern?) 88 votes. (They got 88 votes) “A Life-risking Concern” won this week.