Anthony: Happy Birthday to y- Ian: SHUT UP, THAT SONG IS COPYRIGHTED! Anthony’s mom: Anthony, are you still here? Anthony: Shut up mom, i’m about to do the solo! Anthony’s mom: Aren’t you supposed to be at Ian’s Birthday party? Anthony: Yeah, but that’s not even until like 3 o,clock. Guy: Whoa! Guy: That kid is really getting on my ass! *far away* Hey, kid! Anthony: OH S**T! Anthony: Oh my god, Sparky! Anthony: Happy Birthday! Ian: Hey, you made it! Ian: What’s with the threes? Anthony: That’s all the store had. Anthony: Just add them up to get your age, you lazy bastard. Ian: Sooo, i’m 12 years old. Anthony: Just blow up the candles. Ian: All right. Anthony: So, what’d you wish for? Ian: Oh, nothing man. Anthony: Oh come on, tell me. Ian: It’s nothing. Anthony: Come on. Ian: It’s nothing! Anthony: Come on, tell me. Ian: A GIRLFRIEND, WHY DO YOU CARE? Anthony: If were you, I’d wish for a dog, but maybe that’s just me. Ian: Why would i wish for a dog? I already have Sparky. Anthony: Yeah i know, right? Ian: Yeah. Ian: Is this my present? Anthony: Well, it’s your birthday, right? Ian: Oh my god, no way! Ian: I’ve been out of this stuff like 3 weeks! Ian: You’re the bestest friend ever! Ian: This is the- Ian: NO WAY! Ian: This is the- Ian: This is the two-ply diamond weave texture Ian: For extra durability! Ian: I’ve seen this thing hold like five wet baseballs on TV! Ian: Oh my god! Anthony: That’s not all! Ian: ANOTHER PRESENT?! Anthony: That’s right, open it up! Ian: I owe you 1 canine? Ian: Anthony, what is this? Anthony: Oh you know, just in case something happened to your dog. Ian: SOMETHING HAPPENED TO SPARKY? Anthony: No. Anthony: Maybe, i mean no. That’s- Ian: ANTHONY TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED TO SPARKY! Anthony: Fine. Anthony: I’ll show you. Anthony: Okay, before you see it, i just want you to know it was accident. Anthony: I was pulling up to your house Anthony: And he jumped out of nowhere Anthony: And i had no time to stop. Anthony: And i just- Anthony: I’m so sorry man. Ian: Dude, that’s not my dog. Anthony: It’s not? Ian: No. Ian: That’s my sister. Ian: Now who wants some cake?