It’s A Lot Of Fun To Work For Donald Trump


LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WELCOME
BACK TO “THE LATE SHOW”.” SO MUCH MORE TO TALK ABOUT. PLEASE, HAVE A SEAT, EVERYBODY. WELCOME BACK TO OUR LIVE “LATE
SHOW” FOLLOWING THE DEBATE. OF COURSE, JUST BECAUSE IT’S NOT
HIS BIG DAY, DONALD TRUMP WILL NOT BE IGNORED. SO WHILE THE DEMOCRATS WERE
FIGHTING IT OUT IN TEXAS, TRUMP WAS SPEAKING AT THE HOUSE
REPUBLICAN CONFERENCE MEMBER RETREAT IN BALTIMORE. AND ON HIS WAY UP THERE, TRUMP
TURNED THE HELICOPTER ROTORS UP TO 11 AND PAUSED FOR A QUICK
EPISODE OF: “CHOPPER TALK.” NOW, RIGHT OFF THE BEAM,
REPORTERS ASKED ABOUT TRUMP’S SEARCH TO REPLACE JOHN BOLTON AS
NATIONAL SECURITY ADVISER, AND HE TOLD THEM HE’S GOT PLENTY OF
OPTIONS.>>A LOT OF PEOPLE WANT THE JOB,
AND WE– AND IT IS A GREAT JOB. IT IS GREAT BECAUSE IT IS LOT OF FUN TO WORK WITH DONALD
TRUMP. ( LAUGHTER )
>>Stephen: REALLY? REALLY? REALLY! IT’S FUN TO WORK FOR YOU? G
THEN, HOW COME EVERYONE WHO LEAVES YOUR ADMINISTRATION
IMMEDIATELY WRITES A BOOK WITH A TITLE LIKE “CAVE OF HATE
SNAKES”? ( AS TRUMP )
“YES, IT’S A LOT OF FUN TO WORK WITH DONALD TRUMP. HE’S UNPREDICTABLE. HE SOMETIMES EXPERIENCES A
PSYCHOTIC BREAK WHERE HE DISSOCIATES AND REFERS TO
IN THE THIRD PERSON. DONALD TRUMP DOES.” TRUMP HAD SOME NICE THINGS TO
SAY ABOUT ALL HIS POTENTIAL OPPONENTS.>>ARE THERE ANY DEMOCRATS
DEBATING TONIGHT THAT YOU ACTUALLY RESPECT?>>I RESPECT ALL OF THEM.>>ALL OF THEM? I RESPECT EVERY ONE. LET ME TELL YOU, IT TAKES A LOT
OF COURAGE TO RUN FOR OFFICE. I RESPECT ALL OF THEM.>>Stephen: ( AS TRUMP )
“I RESPECT THEM ALL OF THEM: SLEEPY JOE, POCAHONTAS, CRAZY
BERNIE, BETO O’DORK.” ( LAUGHTER )
NOW, THE MOMENT THE DEMOCRATS WERE TAKING THE STAGE– IS THIS
TRUE– THE MOMENT THEY WERE TAKING THE STAGE, TRUMP BEGAN
HIS SPEECH TO THE REPUBLICANS DOWN IN BALTIMORE. DIDN’T HAVE MUCH OF A POINT. HE BRAGGED A LOT, TOLD ONE OFGE
HIS PATENTED MADE-UP STORIES ABOUT PEOPLE COMING UP TO HIM TO
THANK HIM.>>PEOPLE COME UP TO ME ALL THE
TIME. “THANK YOU, SIR. MY 401(K) IS UP 72%,” WHATEVER
IT MAY BE– NUMBERS THEY’VE NEVER HAD BEFORE. NOBODY’S EVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE
IT. M ( LAUGHTER )
>>Stephen: ( AS TRUMP ) “THEY COME UP TO ME AND SAY,
SIR, MY 401(K) IS UP NUMBERS THEY’VE NEVER SEEN BEFORE–
FLORPTYFIVE, AND BUN-DILLION AND VELVE. 17, BUT IN 17, THE 7’s A
DRAGON’S HEAD. SIR, I’M WORRIED I’M GOING
INSANE.”UN TRUMP DEFENDED HIS
ADMINISTRATION’S RECENT ROLLBACK OF LIGHT BULB EFFICIENCY RULES.>>THE BULB THAT WE’RE BEING
FORCED TO USE, NUMBER ONE, TO ME, MOST IMPORTANTLY, THE
LIGHT’S NO GOOD. I ALWAYS LOOK ORANGE. ( LAUGHTER )
AND SO DO YOU.>>Stephen: NO!NT
NO!>>Jon: WOW! WHOA!>>Stephen: NO, JUST YOU. ( AS TRUMP )
“I LOOK ORANGE. D AND SO DO YOU. THE LIGHTS ALSO MAKE YOU LOOK
LIKE A PILE OF RAW GROUND BEEF IN A SUIT, AND THEY– AND THEY
MAKE YOU FORGET HOW TO CLOSE AN UMBRELLA.” WHILE CRITICIZING THE GREEN NEW
DEAL THAT SOME OF THE DEMOCRATS HAVE PROPOSED,
HE TOOK A DETOUR TO SLAM HIS OWN PARTY’S HOUSE MINORITY LEADER,
KEVIN McCARTHY.>>NO MORE COWS, NO MORE PLANES,
I GUESS NO MORE PEOPLE. BECAUSE KEVIN IS JUST LIKE A
COW. HE’S JUST SMALLER. I HAD TO PICK SOMEBODY FOR THAT
ONE, KEVIN, AND I JUST LOOKED AT THAT BEAUTIFUL, POLITICAL FACE
OF YOURS.>>Stephen: ( AS TRUMP )
“SORRY, KEV. THE SORRY, KEV. I HAD TO PICK SOMEONE. WHAT ELSE WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO,
NOT CALL ONE OF THE LEADERS OF MY PARTY A COW? OH, I SHOULDN’T? I SHOULDN’T DO THAT? WELL, THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT A BIG,
WHT COW WOULD SAY, KEVIN. MOO, KEVIN.T? COME OMOO. SOMEBODY MILK THIS GUY!”
COME ON, SHAKE THEM UDDERS.” ♪ ♪ ♪
“HE LIKES IT, THOUGH, HE LIKES THIS.” THEN, HE DAZZLED THE CROWD WITH
HIS IMPRESSIONS OF CHINESE PRESIDENT XI JINPING–
YEAH. THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT I THOUGHT
WHEN I HEARD THIS. AND JOE BIDEN.>>AND PRESIDENT XI OF CHINA, HE
IS TOUGH. OH, BOY, HE IS A FURIOUS KIND OF A GUY.AT
GREAT GUY. HE IS DYING TO SEE– HE WANTS
SLEEPY JOE. CAN YOU IMAGINE THOSE TWO GUYS
IN A ROOM? HERE IS XI. ( MAKES CRAZY NOISE )
AND HERE IS SLEEPY JOE. “WHAT? WHERE AM I? WHERE AM I?”
“JUST SIGN HERE, SLEEPY JOE, JUST SIGN HERE.”>>Stephen: WHAT THE HELL WAS
THAT? WHAT WAS THAT? I DON’T KNOW. I GUESS NOW WE KNOW WHAT IT’S
LIKE WHEN DONALD TRUMP READS YOU A BEDTIME STORY. ( AS TRUMP )
“AND THE XI GOES ‘ARGHHHH,’ THE SLEEPY JOE GOES ‘WHAT?’
THE TRUCK GOES ‘HONK,’ AND THE COW GOES, ‘HI, I’M KEVIN
McCARTHY.'” ( APPLAUSE )EV
HE ALSO TOLD ONE OF HIS FAVORITE NEW FAKE ANECDOTES.>>I TELL THE STORY OF A MAN WHO
HATES ME, ONE OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL BUSINESS PEOPLE,
ALWAYS HATED ME, AND I’VE ALWAYS HATED HIM. I CAN’T STAND THAT GUY.>>Stephen: ( AS TRUMP )
“AND THE SUCCESSFUL BUSINESSMAN IN THAT STORY… IS ME.SF
I’M A VERY TROUBLED MAN. ALL OF THIS IS ALL A CRY FOR
HELP.” HE EVEN FOUND A WAY TO COMPLAIN
ABOUT ANOTHER COUNTRY’S POLL NUMBERS.>>YOU KNOW, THERE WAS A POLL
RECENTLY THAT OBAMA IS MUCH MORE POPULAR IN GERMANY THAN I
AM. OF COURSE, HE IS.”>>Stephen: ( AS TRUMP )
“I’M MUCH MORE POPULAR WITH THE PEOPLE THAT USED TO LIVE IN
GERMANY BUT NOW HAVE ALWAYS LIVED IN ARGENTINA. ALWAYS.” ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )UL
THE ARGENTINE, VE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN ARGENTINE!”
AND HE CONCLUDED BY SAYING WHATEVER THE HELL THIS IS:
>>WE WILL WIN, WIN, WIN, AND WE WILL KEEP ON WINNING. YOU KNOW, I TELL THAT STORY, AND
SOME PEOPLE LOVE IT. AND PROBABLY SOME DON’T, BUT I
THINK THEY ALL LOVE IT. I’M GOING TO WIN IN A PLACE
LIKE– HERE WE GO, I’M GOING TO USE DAN AS AN
EXAMPLE.>>Stephen: UH-OH. ( AS TRUMP )
“DAN, DAN, YOU’RE A HORSE. YOU’RE A BIG, FAT, SMELLY HORSE. SOMEBODY RIDE DAN. GIVE HIM SOME OATS. PUT A SADDLE ON HIM. HORSE DAN, GO STAND WITH COW
KEVIN, OKAY. YOU GUYS ARE LUKE THOSE ANIMAL
PAIRINGS THAT EVERYBODY JUST LOVES. HE ALSO WHIPPED OUT A NEW LAST
NAME FOR HIS VICE PRESIDENT.>>IT WAS AN INCREDIBLE MEETING. I SAT AROUND AND CHUCK GRASSLEY
WAS THERE, AND JONI ERNST, AND JOHN THUNE, AND MIKE POUNDS. ( LAUGHTER )
>>Stephen: ( AS TRUMP )SA “YEAH, THEY WERE ALL THERE. I GOTTA SAY, MIKE POUNCE–
I LOVE THAT MIKE POUNCE. HE’S A BIG BELIEVER IN
CRISSY-ANITY, AND OUR LORD AND SAVIOR, JERBUS.” WE’LL BE RIGHT BACK

About the author

Comments

  1. The rest of the world watches these clips of Trump and he is so batshit weird and a 6 year old child, and they know they can't trust America anymore. Orange Mussolini is in the WH right now.

  2. Argentina denies any involvement 🗣 that was the work of socialist president Juan Domingo Perón and his trashy party🤮

  3. George Remus was an American lawyer and bootlegger during the Prohibition era. Remus was known to have referred to himself in the third person after his rise to power during the early days of Prohibition, which he reportedly continued to do until his death.

  4. It's also possible he was going for Mike Rounds (R-SD), the junior senator from South Dakota, since he mentioned John Thune (the senior senator) before that. Of course, he'd still be wrong, but on a different person.

  5. Attention True American Patriots ! The Chopper Talk is affecting our beloved President. We are all aware that Windmill noise causes Cancer ! The helicopter is like a wind turbine but louder . We are aware that brain cancer is a concern that might be affecting Trump ! We who love the President must insist : TRUMP MUST GET HIS HEAD EXAMINED ! Christian Evangelical thoughts and prayers are not good enough for the Chosen one ! Remember the helicopter pilot wears hearing protection. Trump 2020

  6. tRump has been working really hard for months, but at last he has come up with a typical tRump BS excuse, this time for looking orange.
    And as expected, it isn't his fault. It's the light bulbs fault.
    So, now he has cleared that up, and made the excuse public, he can work on his microphone ban. Because it is obviously them that makes him sound like a complete idiot!

  7. Trump has really become completely detached with these constant nonsensical ramblings everywhere he goes. Supporting this man is akin to taking advantage of a person with special needs.

  8. I used to watch this guy when he was on comedy central and he was funny. Now… he better hope Trump has another fpur years so he can have material for this crappy show.

  9. HOLLYWIERD.! wtf would you so called hunt ers do if you become the hunted.? Never forget… CIA PUPPETS , FEEBLE-MINDED BOYS, ANTIFA ? GOING TO OVERTHROW WHAT.? LMAO.!! Faked News.! Lol… Doesn't stop nothing.!

  10. For someone who hates colored skin I am surprised he doesn't dye his. At least we have people who are white, red, yellow, brown and black. Therr is the orange color only in the animal kingdom hmmmm

  11. The leader calling a member of his party as a cow would be a matter of honour in India. Yes I am Indian, you can laugh at that😂😂😂😂

  12. His just keeps talking without any thought behind him. Then he continues as he gets validation. Dribble that is ignorant, mean and low class.

  13. Why hasn't this ORANGE president been impeached? The news broadcast of his speech makes him look more insane than ever before. He is an embarrassment to the US.

  14. Trump better get reelected or this asshole Colbert won't have a show, he's got one joke and it's the same one every night. Can't stand him.MAGA! VOTE REPUBLICAN.

  15. Is Colbert supposed to be a comedian? Who actually laughs at this stuff? It's seriously the same story every night on his show and the same lame ass impression.

  16. LMFAO.!!!!! C'mon boy, get some.. lol..! What a lil PUNKAXX.. He says the South will die.. lol. We're still waiting…… Oh by the way, I'm from Ohio.. Beautiful here boy.. Now the Californians are leaving, and moving here.. We just put a roof on….lol.. I like Cali 💰.. Your the HUNTED.!

  17. Perverts on Late Night / CNN / DNC….. Where is Jeffery Epstein…. Murdered by Dem RATS…… Obummer Gave Terrorist $$$$$$ BILLIONS in Cash……Obummer Ran Guns to the Mexican Drug Cartels… Obummer Used The IRS To Attack Constatives….Obummer WORST GDP in HISTORY…..Just a Few to Refresh Your Obummer Corruption !

  18. Please stop talking about Trump so much. There's no such thing as bad publicity, you're still giving him the biggest media platform in the world, which – guess what – is a huge help to Trump. Please stop being so greedy and taking the bait, you're playing right into his tiny hands

  19. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stephen_Colbert_2008_presidential_campaign 
    Colbert had originally planned to run for both the Republican and the Democratic nomination in his home state of South Carolina.[3] After learning that the fee to file for the Republican primary was $35,000, he abandoned plans to run as a Republican (he had previously stated that he could avoid FEC rules if he stayed under $5,000 in campaign expenditure). Although he paid the $2,500 fee to be included in the South Carolina Democratic ballot, he was denied a place on the ballot by the South Carolina Democratic Party executive council.[4] On November 5, 2007, Colbert officially dropped his presidential bid.

  20. lolol é de mais ….O Trump julga -se o maior …quanto mede?? Dá uma no cravo e outro na ferradura!!! Que grande imitador …talvez convide para ser sósia na campanha…Será que o apresentador se divertiiria a trabalhar com ele?? Grande show!!

  21. This is so stupid, he is just making fun of stupid shit. How about some analysis into WHY Trump does this stuff in the first place?

  22. America has become the laughing stock of the world. You have let Trump turn the U.S.A into a joke. But now as you the people are doing nothing but accept his ways as ok, the rest of the world is looking at you with nothing but empathy and disappointed

  23. A lotta, biggest ever, believe me, very, people, winning, successful, money, bad guys, fake news, smart, Trump. Just rearrange those words and phrases and you have his entire verbal repertoire.

  24. God I hate that f*** human/OrangutaN hybrid! He's a disgracE! He's a BUlly, he's mentally iLL. At this point, if somEThing happened and Pence suddenly became presIdeNt, THat would still bE an improvement, even tHough PencE wAnts a theocracy, for just over a year, that woulD still be better for this country than the orange sociopath.

    Not suggesting anything, but doesn't mean I wouldn't celebrate. We can only hope. The downside is he'd become a martyr, and with imPeachment his minions wouLd cry conspiracy, hEll, he could friggin' kill someone in public And his SupportErs would still back him up! It Doesn't matter what he does, they'll always say he's rIght, no mattEr what he does!

    There's alway what's going to happen when he's out of office, of course he's still open to legal action once he's out of office, even if disgraced by being impeached, which he could be held accountable by the legal system once he's gone.

  25. The President doesn't know how to read the brightness meter on the back of a light-bulb package. Some of the new ones give off a "warm" light, like an incandescent bulb, and some give off a "cool" light, like a fluorescent bulb. The "cool" bulbs are the ones that make your skin look weird.

  26. https://www.gofundme.com/f/1rl4aqfy5c?utm_medium=copy_link&utm_source=customer&utm_campaign=p_na+share-sheet&rcid=ad25369ed1024a69b324fa6ff2dd01a2

  27. Between Mike Pounce and Kevin the cow I just couldn't stop laughing all the way through… Oh my after the impeachment there is going to be a huge comedic gap in the news…

  28. Im argentine and we dont like trump there . Neither any politician from anywhere in the world . They are thiefs , rapist , assasins and they step on every citizen rights impossing to pay taxes for their salary and than telling us what we can do or not . Fuck all the politicians.

  29. Seriously, Trump relaxed lightbulb efficiency standards all because the better ones gave him a orangy glow. Fucking wackjob.

  30. You can't bury a case especially when a video emerges and that video and addendum refute the lies and corroborate the facts. Sure you can, but don't be looking for trust and respect. You can't have it both ways.

  31. Can someone please help Stephen correct his pronunciation of Xi Jin-Ping's name? Please🙏please🙏please🙏
    有沒有人可以幫Stephen糾正一下他說習近平的名字的發音嗎? 🙏拜託🙏拜託🙏拜託🙏 (中文版本在下方)

    In Chinese pinyin, the letters used represent fixed sounds, 1 letter always makes 1 sound, unlike in English. The sounds represented by the letters used do not change depending on what word they appear in. The "x", for example, is similar to "sh" sound in English, he'd had that part down pretty well before, but now he's saying it like the "s" in "television".
    *How to fix this issue? Go back to pronouncing the "X" like "sh". So, "Xi" sounds like "She".

    However, when we get to the Chairman's name, we run into a similar issue that has been around for a long time. Stephen has always said the "J" in "Jin" the same way (like the "s" in "television"), so, in addition, he is now saying the "X" in "Xi" this way.
    Remember, 1 letter, 1 sound. They should not sound the same.
    In Chinese pinyin, the "j" is almost the same as the "j" sound in English. So, "Jin" sounds almost the same as "Jean" (the difference mainly being that we lengthen "Jean" slightly differently when we say it).

    I would love to teach Stephen some tips to help him navigate basic Mandarin pronunciation. I could probably teach him all of the basics in under 10 minutes in a way that he'd have no problems remembering or recreating the sounds himself.

    Keep on learning, everyone~

    漢語拼音裡的每一個字母代表指定的一個音。一個字母總會發出一個音,跟英文的字母不一樣.

    字母代表的音不管在什麼單字裡出現都不會改變。 例如x代表很接近英文的sh的音. 以前Stephen差不多都會唸對. 不過現在他有開始把那個音唸成television的s.
    怎麼解決這個問題呢?
    很簡單啊
    回去之前的樣子,再把X唸得跟sh同音~

    不過到了主席的名字我們遇到一個比較持久的問題. 就是Stephen一直以來都會把【近】的j唸成剛剛說的television的s的音。所以他現在那兩個音都唸得一樣. 記得剛剛說的一個字母代表一個音嗎?那兩個不應該唸一樣的音.
    漢語拼音的【j】代表很接近英文的【j】的發音. 所以【近】跟Jean的發音幾乎一樣(差別在英文會把單字拉長的方式不太一樣)

    我很樂意叫Stephen一些中文發音的基礎技巧,應該10分鐘可以讓他以後不會再忘記也會自己記得怎麼發中文單字的音韻。

    大家繼續學校喔~

  32. Omg! That horse bit is so hilarious that makes no sense at all. Also couldn’t stop laughing at the bed time story about the Chinese President. Colbert, thank you for giving us humor to uplift our spirits in this dark presidential era!

  33. Whewwwwwwww that man in the White House is a piece of work mannnnnnnnnnnn I couldn’t be his wife……… And Melania has resting B face every time she’s caught on camera😂🤣😅🤷🏾‍♀️💆🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️

  34. you would,nt have to worry about if its fun working for him for long,,you would not last long enough to find out,,,in that speech was he doing Michael from the office?

  35. Its alot of fun to watch Colbert . Hes a real joker. The no talent guy has Trump syndrome. I almost think he stalks the President. To make his personal opinions on his show.

  36. LED is the future, he’s essentially saying “let’s be as energy inefficient as possible just because.” What’s next, are we going back to oil-lanterns and candles? Just get some goddamn Philips Hue’s or Geeni Smart Bulbs. Yes Mr. President, you can adjust the color temperature from your phone, which I know you love to have in your hand 24/7 in case you have to tweet something. They’re energy efficient and they will help dull your orange-ness.

    Plus, what’s he going on about “they make me look too orange”? I know he probably won’t understand but every lightbulb comes with a temperature in kelvin that represents what tint of white they’ll be.

    You can still buy lightbulbs that will produce light exactly like the old filament ones but consume not 90W of power but use (close guess cause I don’t have one in my hand) like 7-10W of actual power while producing the same amount of light.

  37. Oh, my gosh, I have been greatly dismayed every time President Lies speaks of himself in the third person, not because he does it (we all know he is sick) but because no one else seemed to notice! Dissociation is linked to a variety of diagnoses, including DiD (multiple identity disorder). Thinking about it makes me visualize the many times his brain played hopscotch with reality.

  38. As an aussie I worry about this president because he just doesn't give a shit about the planet as a whole and the future of the planet is the most important issue . I guess I would just like to see a new president of USA that can be called the leader of the free, and democratic leader of the world again. Get rid of this nutter asap

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *