Jim & Dwight’s Party Planning – The Office US

[Door slam] Hey Kelly. Screw you. Excuse me? That is no way to address a superior. Oh yeah? Screw you too. Woah. What was that all about? You forgot her birthday. It was yesterday. [Both] Go ahead. [Dwight] You do it. [Jim] Okay. [Dwight] I insist. Basically after Phyllis blackmailed Angela Michael asked them both to step down from the party planning committee because there was too much drama. What he said, was- Just easy. – There was a problem with having one head of the party planning committee. She becomes too powerful So I appointed two heads. [Both talking at once] [Dwight] This is humiliating. That’s… on my side. So this is fun. My birthday was yesterday and everybody forgot. I got really dressed up and excited and no one said a word. There wasn’t even a party. I think sometimes people are really mean to the hot, popular girl. Are you kidding? Well I’m not done yet. Dwight, This, fits in the palm of my hand. You haven’t blown them up enough. Why have you chosen brown and gray balloons? They match the carpet. What is that? “It is your birthday.” – It’s a statement of fact. Not even an exclamation point? This is more professional! It’s not like she discovered a cure for cancer. I can’t believe how bad this looks. Are you trying to hurt my feelings? Because if so you are succeeding. Fortunately my feelings regenerate at twice the speed of a normal man’s. Okay good then. Have you collected the money from everyone? I am working on it. How much do you have? Six dollars. That’s how much you and I contributed. Damn it, Jim! I said I was working on it. [Dwight] What did you do? [Kelly] Stop yelling at me! [Dwight] What did you do? [Kelly] I didn’t do anything! What did you learn in there? I bet you learned things, huh? Like how to fashion a shiv, hmm? Hey, what the hell’s going on? Why don’t you tell Jim where you were from ages 14 to 15. I was… kicking it. In juvie. What? Juvie…nile. Detention center. Where they send teenagers. Yep. For rehabi- Got it. What did you do? Huh? Hey, Dwight? Sounds like she was 14. So maybe we want to go a little easy. Yeah, if she’s old enough to get married, She’s old enough to follow the law. What did you do? My boyfriend dumped me, so I stole his boat. I mean He told me it was his boat – it was actually his father’s. and I just thought it’d be really romantic like Thelma and Louise but with like a boat. And it was… the worst year of my life and I can’t believe that you guys are making me talk about this on my birthday. I thought you said yesterday was your birthday. Hey you know what? I got you a cake. You did? I want to see the cake. And… Tada. I hate it. How do you hate it? It’s a cake. Well there’s no flowers or toys or – I mean there’s nothing on it. Where did you even find a cake like this? I mean it doesn’t have my name on it. Do you guys know what my name is? My name is Kelly. Right. I forgot if there was an E between the L and the Y. I still don’t know. I mean, I don’t even know what the theme is. What’s the theme? [Both] Birthday. [Both] Frosting. Those aren’t themes. There’s always a theme. There’s always a theme. Nice job on the cake, bozo. Okay you know what? Next time I’ll let you get the cake and I get to scream at the birthday girl. Okay, so all we need is a theme, and cups and ice and punch and a cake. – Busy. Hey what’s that show that she’s always talking about. – Oh my god. Is this how you are with Pam? Cause she must want to shoot herself in the face. You know what? I could use a little help. You know what? I’m a little busy. We have a lot to do and you are putting up a very effeminate sign. Is that what you’ve been doing? Making a sign? – It’s not effeminate, it’s festive. You’ve been making that sign for something that we could just announce to the whole office. Hey everybody, the party’s now at 3:00. I know I just read it on the sign. [Blows air into ballon] We have to write my suggestions down too. I’m not writing horse hunt. I don’t even know that means. It’s in the name. Okay so far, our ideal party consists of beer, fights to the death, cupcakes, blood pudding, blood, touch football, mating, charades and yes, horse hunting. You’re right, forget horse hunting it’s stupid. Look, is there a birthday that you remember that you loved? Here’s one It was dark, warm, wet, a sudden burst of light, an intense pressure like I’d never felt before, father dressed in white pulls me forward, mother bites the cord- Okay stop. Forever stop that story. That’s disgusting, and it doesn’t count. So give me another one. Schrutes don’t celebrate birthdays idiot. It started as a depression-era practicality and then moved on to an awesome tradition that I look forward to every year. What about you? Actually when I was seven my dad took me to the Natural History Museum in New York. And we looked at fossils all day. And at the end of the day he got me a little plastic Triceratops. It was awesome. That’s cool. Hey you know what’s even cooler than Triceratops? Every other dinosaur that ever existed. Didn’t see that one coming. [Everyone] Happy birthday. [Meredith] Surprise! [Dwight] Hey, it’s- hey It’s not a surprise. This doesn’t look good. What? You have a cake. You have a delicious cake with your name spelled correctly? Told you. You haven’t heard our theme though. You don’t hear a theme you see it. Why is there a chiclet on my cake? That’s the best part that represents a pillow or a television. Our theme, if you will. Because the fun part is you get to decide on an hour of television or an hour of napping. That’s our theme. Cool. Yeah? I love it. Oh! Yes! Okay good. So what’s it gonna be Kapoor? – Ooh! Can she pick a half hour of each? No. Oh then pick TV. Take a nap. No, no, no watching TV at work is really cool. Pick nap nothing good is on right now. Bonnie Hunt is on. You know what, I have been watching TV all week, I choose nap. All right. Okay nap it is. Everyone out. Get out. We’re gonna be eating cake at our desks. Let’s go. Move it. Let’s go go-go-go-go. Come on. I got this. Hem hem. This is for you, and, happy birthday Kel. [giggles] Thank you. Okay, you’ve got one hour. [Door slam] Too excited to sleep. Mm. Great cake. Thanks. [Door opens] [Crashing] Birthday time is over. Now go make up for all the work you missed when you were taking your nap. Many happy returns. [Door slam] [The Office theme]

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  1. Their parties consist of beer, fights to the death, cupcakes, blood pudding, blood, mating…. how is this funny? Father dressed in white pulls me forward mother bites the cord…. Its basically explaining eyes wide shut illuminati shit satanic rituals and nobody acknowledges it.

  2. Jim & Dwight, sans pranks, is one of my favorite dynamics. Meredith asks if she can pick a half hour of each & both Dwight and Jim immediately say No hahaaa

  3. Honestly, I would be happy and grateful if anyone even remembered my birthday much less try to plan one.🥳😭🎂🎉

  4. why should anyone care about the ugly pahjeet and her birf-day? "There's no flowers and no toys' and you look at that face and think "fuhhhk, it's sugar , fat and carbs, …it could feed a whole village of her people for a week". But seriously,it was kind of sweet of them to eive her a nap Anyone else notice how big her ass is when he patted it?

  5. people think that are so important. They don't realize they are not the center of the world. Why the fuck would they remember her birthday? She has the mentality of a 13 year old girl. maybe 11.

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