John & Lisa Bevere | How To Heal Your Marriage | Sid Roth’s It’s Supernatural!


Is there a supernatural
dimension? a world beyond the one we know? Is there life after death? Do angels exist? Can our dreams contain messages
from Heaven? Can we tap into ancient secrets
of the supernatural? Are healing miracles real? Sid Roth has spent over 35 years
researching the strange world of the supernatural. Join Sid for this edition of
It’s Supernatural! Sid: Hello. Sid Roth here. Welcome to my world where it’s
naturally supernatural. My guests, bestselling authors
John and Lisa Bevere, unmasked. What do I mean by that? They were sabotaged when they
got married. There is no way in the world
their marriage should have survived and they have decided
if they will tell people what happened to them it will give
hope. But what happened to them wasn’t
natural. What happened to them that gave
them a marriage from Heaven was supernatural. Hello. Look, I cannot believe
what I read in the newspaper. The institution of marriage is
under assault. John Bevere, what’s going on and
what’s behind what’s going on? What is the reason that the
institution of marriage is under such assault? John: Marriage was authored,
created, designed up by God himself. Satan hates anything that’s of
God. The spirit of this world wants
to destroy marriage and is on an active path to do it. And this is why Lisa and I
decided to start speaking on marriage because we know now not
only are marriages under attack, and they are under attack, but
the very institution as you just said is being assaulted. And so we need to voice out what
God says about marriage because it is so valuable. Sid: You know, John looks like
he’s kind of meek. But would you believe on his
first date with Lisa he gets her saved, he gets her speaking in
tongues filled with the Spirit and he gets her healed of a
life-threatening disease, on the first date. I guess I’d better find out what
happened on the second. No, I’m just teasing. Well I’ll tell you what
happened. He marries Lisa. Now you’ve heard the saying,
opposites attract, but this is ridiculous. Lisa, what was your background? Lisa: Okay. So I’m half Sicilian, Apache
Indian, French and English. My grandmother had been married
four times. John: And I’m fortunate to be
alive. Lisa: Yes. My grandmother had been married
four times. My parents were married,
divorced, remarried, divorced. My dad was an alcoholic. I came from dysfunction way
before it was popular. We were doing it way before the
Kardashians. And basically, you know, John
and I, we just came together. I had no good thing. I brought adultery, I brought
alcoholism, I brought dysfunction and he brought all
the good, and I brought all of the bad. I remember when he introduced me
to his mom, his mom was like, “Wait a minute, we have never
had divorce in our family before.” And I was like, that’s not my
name. But it was really a scary thing
when I came in. But you know, we decided, Sid,
God wasn’t interested. Sid: You got me laughing so
much, I don’t know what to say. Lisa: Well we decided it wasn’t
about John’s good and my bad. It was about holy. And the truth is God wants to do
a new thing with couples. And I brought nothing to the
table, and we wanted to do our marriage different, but we
didn’t know how to do it different. And I personally had a vision
about three months into my marriage, and it was the vision
of a perfect man, and this man looked like my husband, but he
did not act like my husband. And so I decide my job was to
change my husband from the man he was to the man he could be if
he would work with me, but John had a vision of his own. Sid: But Lisa, not one woman
listening to you understands. Lisa: No. Sid: No woman wants to change
her husband. Lisa: None of us do. Sid: Okay, that’s what she
brought in. Lisa: Yeah. Sid: Now what did you bring in? John: Well I brought in, I mean,
my family, my mom and dad are amazing. They married 66 years. My dad just went home to be with
the Lord this year. But what I brought in was a lot
of insecurity. I was the only boy of six
children. So I was the chosen one, my son,
my son, according to my mother. So a lot of… Sid: I thought
that was just Jewish men. Lisa: No, it’s Italians, too. John: So a lot of selfishness
and a lot of temper, a lot of arguing, a lot of this is my way
or the highway. And we clashed like the Titans. I mean, it was like WWF
wrestling the first couple of years of our marriage. It was horrific. And we really realized all of a
sudden, hey wait a minute, this happily ever after just doesn’t
happen. And so, you know, we started,
Lisa and I started realizing in order to have a good marriage
you have to work to have a good marriage. Sid: But I have to ask you this
question, Lisa. Why the dirty laundry? Why are you doing this? Lisa: Well you know, I think too
many people feel isolated. They feel hopeless. So John and I said, you know
what, we’re going to open up our lives. Because we sit in conferences
and we would hear the pastors say, “my wife and I have never
had a fight” and I’d be like, for the love of Jesus, we’ve
never not fought. I mean, we decided, what in the
world. So we just did not know how to
do it correctly. And so we were like, all right,
people are going to have different differences and we
need to be constructive with this. Plus John and I have a unique
dynamic that other people didn’t have. We both are strong
personalities. We both have voices. It isn’t I’m just supportive of
him and he’s not there or he’s just supportive of me. But couples coming up, they want
to do it together, Sid. I think that we are created to
do it together. And it would have been easier if
we did it separately. So we said, let’s just put it
all out there. Let’s talk about our struggles
in the past with abuse, let’s talk about our struggles with
control, let’s talk about our struggles with fear, let’s talk
about what we’ve regretted and what we’ve learned. We’ve been married for 33 years. That’s a long time. And so we’ve learned a lot of
lessons that we don’t think other people need to learn the
hard way. Sid: John, you were addicted to
pornography before you got married. John: Yep. Sid: And before it was almost
commonplace. Right now, the statistics are
overwhelming. Tell me a few of them. John: Well it started at age 11. And then when I married Lisa, I
thought, gosh, when I get married to this beautiful woman
it will all go away. Well it certainly didn’t. And so it was a big battle. Sid: I’ll tell you what, hold
that thought. I want to find out how you got
supernaturally, I mean, he thought if he just would get
married to a beautiful woman, he wouldn’t be interested in
pornography. He didn’t know that that’s one
of the strongest addictions on the planet. When we come back I want to find
out how they supernaturally went from physical abuse with each
other, verbal abuse, her taking off her engagement ring. I mean, and to have the marriage
they have today, and I say there is tikvah, that’s a Hebrew word,
there is hope. We’ll be right back. Reserve your place and get ready
to experience Israel, the land of the supernatural, with Sid
and Joyce Roth. Sid: November 24th through
December 3rd, 2015, it’s the perfect temperature and the land
is calling your name. Visit the Mount of Olives, the
Garden of Gethsemane, Calvary and take communion at the Garden
Tomb. Visit the upper room, Qumran,
the home of the Dead Sea Scrolls and receive ministry as you
travel across the Sea of Galilee. If you like, you can be baptized
in the Jordan River the Jewish way, the way Jesus was baptized,
and so much more. Sid: The price for this ten-day
adventure includes roundtrip airfare from New York City,
hotel, all taxes, all tips included. Don’t miss out on going with Sid
Roth on this Israel tour for this special low price. Please specify the Sid Roth
Israel trip when you call or visit SidRoth.org/Israel. We now return to
It’s Supernatural! Sid: Sid Roth here with John and
Lisa Bevere. And pornography, it’s insidious. When you started, it wasn’t that
pervasive. Right now, how pervasive is it? John: Right now you have 40
million Americans that are visiting porn sites a year. One in every ten website is a
porn site, one in every ten was the biggest of any except until
social media just took over. You have 50 percent of Christian
males are addicted to pornography. Seventy percent of Christian
males visit, this is CNN. Sid: Fifty percent. John: Addicted. Sid: Wow. John: And then you have 70
percent that visit pornography, according to, this is a CNN
report. Sid: Is this just men? John: It’s also women. One in five women are addicted
to pornography. So you’ve got an epidemic here
that’s kept in the closet amongst Christians. I was in that situation. My first four years of marriage
with Lisa was like terrible because of the guilt that I was
carrying because of pornography. And I remember opening up to a
man of God, he sharply rebuked me. But I remember it wasn’t until a
year later, about nine months later I went on a four-day fast
and I realized that what I was doing was breaking the heart of
the one I loved, Jesus, and then breaking the heart of the other
one I loved, Lisa. And when I realized that I was
hurting God’s heart that was godly sorrow that led me to the
deliverance that Second Corinthians, Chapter 7 tells us
about. Before, I was scared what was
going to happen to me. Am I going to be judged? Am I going to lose my ministry? Am I going to, you know, what
are the ramifications of losing my marriage. That’s worldly sorrow. That’s when the focus is on us. But when I realized I was
hurting God’s heart, that was what led me to get the freedom. And I can say now today, I was
free on May the 6th, 1985, completely free. But what had to happen was God
had to renew my mind. Sid: Lisa, you got so angry with
John one day, you took your engagement ring off. Lisa: I did. I did. I said, we are married, but we
are not engaged. I don’t know what I was
thinking. I thought that would just make a
statement. John: It did. Lisa: Well I was really upset
with him and I brought it to God because I really felt like God
was on my side. I thought he was upset with
John, too. So I was like, God, you see what
he does. You see how he talks to me. God, you see this. And all he would say to me was,
“Lisa, tell me that I’m enough for you.” And I said, “If I tell you that
you’re enough for me does that mean John’s not going to change? If that’s what it means I’m not
going to put my ring back on. I’m not going to do this.” And he said, “No, I really need
to hear from you that I am enough for you.” So I remember, I said, “All
right God, you’re enough for me.” And then it went from, “you’re
enough for me” to “you are more than enough for me”. And when God became more than
enough for me then I had more than enough for John. And so then it was, you know,
God began to open up John’s heart and he began to move in
both of our lives. But we’re both stubborn. And so it takes pressing into
the presence of God for a lot of times for us to hear things. Sid: But John, you reached a
point that you hit Lisa. John: First three years of our
marriage, I’m so ashamed to say this, but I realize I’ve got to
open up because I really want to see this completely eradicated
from any marriage. I remember the shame that I
carried and Lisa did a wonderful thing. She locked me out of the house. And she said, “You’re not coming
in.” I said, “Open up.” She said, “You’re not coming
in.” She said, “Go figure this out.” So I went to some friends’ house
and I spent the, you know, the weekend fasting. And I remember I came back a
real changed man and you know, the thing is, is God has given
men a stronger vessel. I mean, when Peter says, “Honor
your wife as the weaker vessel,” the only thing that means is
that she can’t bench press much as you. That’s all it means. So here, God makes us the
guardian of a woman with a frailer frame and not a strong
frame, and also is sensitive and tender, and sensitive and
tenderness is a strength. Our job is to guard and protect
them. What I was doing and what
justified me striking back is she would provoke me so much by
attacking me so much I felt justified. Well when I realized that, I
said, I will never, ever do this again. But that is not a place at all
in a marriage. A man, no matter how much he
feels like he’s being talked, attacked, dishonored by his
wife, he should not dishonor her back by touching her or speaking
to her in a dishonoring way. Sid: When things were at their
worst, God spoke to you and this might have shocked you, but when
things were at their worst, God told you to back him? John: This was amazing. I was just, I had had it. I thought there is no hope left
for our marriage. I went to God and just said,
“God, I’ve had it. I’ve just had it. I just can’t go another day.” And the Lord, I remember I was
out and it was quiet for quite a while. Then all of a sudden, I heard
the Holy Spirit say, “I want you to thank me for one thing about
Lisa, just one thing.” I said, “Well she’s a good mom.” And then all of a sudden I said,
“She’s a good cook.” And then I said, “And she really
dresses well.” And I said, “She’s made a
beautiful house.” And all of a sudden things
started pouring out of me how much I was thankful for, for
this woman, you know. And I thought, you jerk, you
idiot, oh my gosh. And I remember going back to the
house and I thought, she’s not going to listen to what I’m
going to say. But I just said, “Lisa, I’ve
been so stupid. You’re a phenomenal mother, a
phenomenal cook, you have kept such a beautiful home. You care so tenderly for people
and for me. I’m so sorry.” And what I was amazed at is she
softened, too. And that was the real, I would
say, turning point for our marriage is when that happened. And so I realized that in
situations you’re always going, you know, the enemy wants to
destroy your marriage. He just wants to destroy it. So you’re going to get into
situations where you think, I mean, come on, Jesus sweat drops
of blood in the garden. So did he quit? No. Okay, you’re going to get, and
I’m just going to tell you, you’re going to get to places in
your marriage possibly that you’re going to go, I can’t
handle it anymore. And that’s, you’re like right at
the brink of a breakthrough many times, if you’ll just listen to
the counsel of God’s Word. Sid: I’m telling you, there is
hope. There is nothing hopeless in
God. Nothing. All things are possible. John: That’s right, Sid. Sid: We’re going to be right
back. We’ll be right back to
It’s Supernatural! We now return to
It’s Supernatural! Sid: Hello. Sid Roth
here with John and Lisa Bevere. Lisa, where would you say an
important turning point in your marriage was? Lisa: You know, when I chose to
forgive. You know, when John came home
when I locked him out, I got alone with God and I was like,
“God, I hope that you’re speaking to John. I hope that you are rebuking
him. I hope you’re giving him some
bad dreams. I hope that you’re just going to
jerk the slack out of him.” And God said, “You need to
forgive.” And I was like, no, no, no. I’ll forgive him when he
changes. And the Holy Spirit said, “No,
you need to forgive him so he can change.” We don’t understand the power of
forgiveness. When I forgive somebody, I
actually release them to be everything that God wants them
to be. And John came home from that
weekend locked out and came to me, and he was like, hey, I’m
sorry. And usually I would say, well I
forgive you, but you need to understand, you did this, this,
this, this and this. I had a whole bank account. But the Holy Spirit said, “I
want you to look at your husband and when he says, I’m sorry, I
want you to say, I believe you want to change and I forgive
you.” And that is what Jesus says to
me every single time I come to him. He doesn’t say, Lisa I’ve got
this whole list of things and you’re going to do it again in
the future. He just says, I believe you want
to change and I forgive you. You know, looking back over 33
years of marriage, there’s a couple of things I regret as a
wife, things that I wish I would have done differently. And number one, I wish I would
have loved him more fearlessly. You know, I came into the
marriage… Sid: What do you mean by fearlessly? Lisa: Well I
came in with a lot of fear. So I would measure my love. I wasn’t willing to give all of
my heart to John because I was afraid if I gave him all of my
heart that he would break my heart. So I would always reserve a
little bit back. And I remember John would say to
me, “I’m not your dad. I’m not your dad. I’m not going to leave you, I’m
going to abandon you.” I was so afraid that if he made
a mistake it was going to destroy me. And so I would control him and
then he would try to control me, and it was just this ridiculous
dynamic. We did a lot of things
imperfectly, but we learned from all of our mistakes. And so that’s, again, what you
asked me earlier in the show, why would we have shared that. Because we actually really do
want something more for the other couples. Sid: John, what affect did it
have on you when your wife just forgave you with no list, no
laundry list? John: When you’re forgiven like
that, you all of a sudden, your heart gets even more tender to
doing wrong again. And that’s what people don’t
realize, is the forgiveness that God gives, it motivates us to
want to please him more. We’re so overwhelmed by his
mercy that he’s given to us. I don’t want to hurt his heart
because he’s been so good to me. When your spouse is like that
with you, it’s the same way. It’s no different. And so I would just say with
couples that you’re looking at your side too much. You’ve got to start believing. You know, I kept thinking about
when you were saying that, that the love of God, its hopes are
fadeless. The hopes never give up. When Jesus, you know, says to
us, he says, hey, you’ve done this, you know, 500 times
before, I’m not going to listen to you anymore. Well you know, he’s not going to
be saying it 500 times, because you know what? His forgiveness really does
release us. And that’s what I’ve noticed
about God’s forgiveness in my life, is that it really frees me
and empowers me. Her forgiveness to me freed me
and empowered me to be a better husband. I know that marriage is an
institution given by God because it makes us better as
individuals. God said in Malachi that “He’s
looking for godly offspring out of marriage.” Well it says offspring in the
New King James. But in another version it says,
“Looking for godly children.” And I think what God is saying
is not only natural children, but it makes us better men and
women of God because you never, ever, ever read one book by John
Bevere, never, not one had it not been for Lisa Bevere. Never. Because I am today because of
what she and Jesus have done in my life. Sid: There was a quote you told
me before we went on the air, it’s from the Message Bible
about divorce. Would you tell that again. John: Well you know, Jesus, if
you look at the Message Bible, when Jesus was talking to the
Pharisees and to his own disciples, he called marriage
God’s art. And he said, “I’ll hold you
accountable for desecrating God’s art. Can you imagine if somebody went
and on the Mona Lisa, the original, would have just
vandalized it. I mean, Leonardo Da Vinci would
have rolled over in his grave, right. Can you imagine how God feels
the way marriage is being treated right now in our nation,
even amongst Christians. It’s like our society is taking
God’s term and they’re desecrating it right now with
the way they’re defining it. They’re ruining this organic
union. Sid: John, there’s a lot of
hurting people there. Would you pray for them. John: I want to look at you
right now. If your marriage is under
attack, let me tell you, this attack can be thrusted, it can
be stopped. And so I want to pray for you
right now. In the name of Jesus Christ of
Nazareth whom I belong to, whom I serve who has changed my
marriage, I speak to the demonic forces that have attacked this
marriage and I break the power of those forces, and I call for
strife and division to leave this marriage. I release forgiveness into this
marriage and I release the hope that is in Christ Jesus into
this marriage. In Jesus’ name, I command all
opposition, every word that’s been spoken against your union. I break the power of those words
and I release the Word of God that says, there will be a
miracle, there will be a fusing together of the hearts and souls
in this marriage, in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth. Amen. Sid: I have a word from God for
you. Don’t give up. Never give up. Sid: Next week on
It’s Supernatural! The Bible says the Temple will
be rebuilt. But guess what is missing? The authentic priest. Guess what we’ve just found? The priest of Israel. Your gifts to this ministry will
help Sid air It’s Supernatural in Israel 28 times a week and
distribute his evangelistic book to the Jewish people worldwide. ♪♪

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