Kid Cuisine – TV Dinner Reviews – brutalmoose


I’ve got a question for you guys. Which do
you think came first: Kid Cuisine or Kid Cuisine? Kid Cuisine is a line of frozen TV dinners
that were introduced in the year 1990. The name is meant to imply that it’s a cuisine
for kids, not that it’s a cuisine made out of kids – a common misconception. Chicken nuggets, pizza, mac and cheese, Kid
Cuisine really did know what kids wanted to stuff down their tiny, disgusting face holes. Kid Cuisine, however, is the name of the Kid
Cuisine mascot. He’s a penguin referred to as KC, but that
literally stands for Kid Cuisine. So did Kid Cuisine create a line of frozen
foods named after himself, or did his parents name him after already-existing TV dinners? Well, it seems like the food came first because
the original mascot was actually a penguin named BJ, which stands for… Well, you know. Kid: BJ the Chef! BJ: Quite a small meal, partner! Kid: Get along, doggy! BJ: Rustle up my- Bird?: New! BJ: Kid Cuisine Mega Meals! Today we’re doing something a little bit different. I just got back from a trip and I wanted to
whip up a quick video before I started work on my next game review, so here we are. I’m here in my tiny kitchen and instead of
trying to make you feel nostalgic through games or movies, we’re gonna be taking
a look at some frozen food. I haven’t had a Kid Cuisine meal in ages,
but frozen food has always kinda been a part of my diet so I think I have a palate to really
do a fair review of these… “meals.” Announcer [Voiceover]: Welcome back, Kid Cuisine! KC: Let’s keep the fun going with my Kid
Cuisine All Star Chicken Nuggets meal! Made with white meat! Kid: For a taste that can’t be beat! KC: Let’s see that again! First up is the All Star Chicken Nuggets. A chicken nuggets meal with an all-star cast,
complete with a chocolate pudding with cookie spoon. Dig in to a galaxy of yummy flavors. [Hard-sounding 80’s electronica] Looks, uh… looks pretty good. It looks a little sad. I can’t really tell the difference between
the – the corn and the mac and cheese. I think – yeah, this is definitely the mac
and cheese. This looks like gravy. There’s a lot of steps to this. You gotta remove the film, which comes off…
uh… came off okay. Now you have to remove the nuggets. I don’t – I don’t know that I’ve ever had
to do this for a frozen meal. Remove the nuggets… and the cookie spoon. Microwave meal on High for one minute. I can do that. [Jammin’ microwave music] While that’s cooking, let’s read one of the
reviews from the Kid Cuisine website. “I bought this Kid’s Cuisine for my 69 children
and eight of them just turned 50. There was a [Demonic] CHICKEN NUGGET IN MY PUDDING. I would like a full refund on 7082 of your
meals.” – John Stemos in Prison. [Microwave beeping] So now you’ve gotta stir… I mean, it’s still – it’s still very frozen. I got cheese on the Ian cam. Uh, so now you put the – the nuggets back
in. Oh, this is… this is a really professional
video I’m making here, guys. Microwave an additional two minutes. [Microwave hum] Now how’s – how’s this video going so far? Is this – is this interesting at all? Even close? I told you I was gonna try new things. I didn’t say it would all go well. KC: Let’s see that again! All right. Timer just went off, now for the fun part. And I gotta admit, it’s smelling pretty good
in here. Let’s see what we’re working with, though. Okay… So it’s pipin’ hot, we got our chicken nuggets,
a corn, mac and cheese, and pudding – with the cookie spoon. [Cheery game show music] [Applause] [Delighted laughter; applause] [Horrified screaming] That is some watery mac and cheese, man. That’s – that’s corn. That’s – that’s definitely corn. Ugh! Oh, ho, ho. Look at this stuff, it’s – Oh, it’s na-ha-asty. [Laughing] I don’t know about the pudding,
you guys. Oh. Ugh, I dunno. Ugh. Urgh. I’ve tasted everything on the All Star Chicken
Nugget meal. Each component pretty much [laughs] falls
in one of two categories. In the Better Than I Expected category, we
have the chicken nuggets and the corn, and in the Worse Than I Expected category,
we have the mac and cheese and the pudding. Specifically the pudding. This stuff is just nasty, and I don’t know
– I don’t know that I want warm microwave pudding, really. I’d rather have cold pudding, I guess? I’d probably rate this meal a solid 3 out
of 5, which ironically is the remaining length of John Stamos’s prison sentence. If you multiply it by 10. All right, now we’re going to take a look
at Snowstorm Popcorn Chicken. Obviously, this is a Frozen-themed meal, and
I haven’t actually seen that movie. I have seen this snowman guy around. If I were to take a guess, I would imagine
that this is the guy that Frozen falls in love with at the end of the movie? But… I have no idea. Aside from some color-changing pudding, though,
I think this is pretty much the same as their regular popcorn chicken meal, which has some
pretty good reviews on their website. Like this one from BECKY in MIAMI who says,
“MY KIDS LOVE THESE AND” Dude, I can get four dollars off Disney Frozen
Snow Powers Elsa Doll! That’s a bargain. Oh, the mashed potatoes look so saaad. [Bonk] At least this one seems more simple to
put together. There’s – you don’t have – there’s no chicken
moving. I don’t have to take the chicken out and put
the chicken back in, which… I mean, that’s just too many steps. I want – I demand convenience in my frozen
meals. Okay, we just – all we gotta do is microwave
it for three and a half minutes. Now I just gotta sit here and wait. This is going well, right? This is… remotely interesting? I gotta find something besides just reviews
to do, man. They take too long. I need – I need to do other things. Like FROZEN FOOD! [Laughs] I’m going to finish this video, I… No matter how good or bad it is, this video
is getting finished. It’s getting done! Who are the creepy little snowmen next to
the bigger snowman? Is that – that his minions? Hey, how’s it going? This is me on the Ian Cam. I’m currently waiting for my food to finish
microwaving. Done yet? Man. Kids don’t have this kind of patience. Kids can’t wait for three and a half minutes;
I can barely wait for three and a half minutes, man, where’s my food? If you have kids and you’re getting them Kid
Cuisine, you got – you also want to get them something to distract them while it cooks. Microwave: [Beep!] Finally! Once again, it smells pretty good. Ugh, look at the potatoes, though. Look at these things! Augh! Oh my god, we gotta, like, stir – do I have
to eat that? In my mouth? All right. I’m starting with the popcorn chicken. [Dancy music with pizzazz] It tastes pretty much like the chicken nuggets,
honestly. Fries aren’t too bad, either. [Sluuurp] That’s – that’s definitely corn. I feel like I’m sure these are already loaded
with salt, but… Eh, you know how it is. Some salt, some pepper going on. Definitely helps, if you’re eating this shit. Salt and pepper. We got to do the potatoes now… Oh, these aren’t potatoes, this is supposed
to be pudding! [Realization scale] I thought there were potatoes at first. Augh… Surely this magic color-changing pudding is
healthy, right? I mean, it’s magic! Magic is healthy!
[Glitter sound~] Okay, well, I thought these were potatoes
at first. It’s pudding. Uh… That doesn’t necessarily make me any more
excited to eat it. Oh… It looks like I blended up a smurf. Don’t feed your children this. It’s better than the chocolate pudding. I’ll give it that, it’s better than the chocolate
pudding. I still don’t want to eat blue toxic sludge? And it’s so warm. I don’t want warm pudding. Not – not this kind of pudding, at least. The popcorn chicken, the fries, the corn – all
pretty good, though. I mean, as far as TV dinners go, so. I guess this one’s a 4 out of 5. Maybe a 3.5 out of 5. Is there a perfect TV dinner? No. KC: Cheese Blaster, comin’ through! Kid: Kid Cuisine! Other Kid: Just in time! KC: My Kid Cuisine Cheese Blaster Mac and
Cheese Meal is a real blast! Kid: With lots of gooey cheese! KC: Let’s see that aga- All right. Finally, it’s time to try the last Kid Cuisine
meal for today. [Jingle Bells plays] Winter Fun Mac and Cheese. I should note that I bought this in July,
so… that doesn’t bode well. This isn’t the Cheese Blaster Mac and Cheese. I just used that commercial because it’s one
I remember. You don’t easily forget a commercial that
manages to make cheese look so disgusting. The regular mac and cheese meal has a different
dessert and the noodles don’t look like these two… sisters? Cousins? Lovers? I dunno. I was really hoping I could get one of the
pizza Kid Cuisines; I’m not really that big of a mac and cheese guy. I used to be when I was a kid, but nowadays? Eh. It’s all that SafeWay had, though, was these
three. I would have gotten a bigger variety were
it available to me at the time. We get the return of the color-changing pudding! That’s exciting… I gotta admit, I feel kinda like I’ve been
cheated, because the sprinkles packet takes up a whole thing. Like, they could have put – oh my god, that’s
going everywhere, dude. The sprinkle packet takes up a full thing. Like, you could have put more food in here. I threw the box, but I don’t know how long
to cook it… Here’s a review for the original mac and cheese
meal titled, “All Mac and no chess” “Literally no Cheas whatsoever, just bland,
wet, soggy mac. My daughter ate and then threw up in my living
room. Would not consume again!!” by WHY IS THERE NO CHEAS in New York. So far, I’d rate my performance in this video
a solid 4 out of 10. If you’re watching this far, thank you! I’m happy I tried new ideas, but I don’t know
that frozen food is – is the future of YouTube entertainment. Guys, I get four dollars off Disney Frozen
Snow Powers Elsa Doll. That’s eight bucks off! Oh my god, look at – I could save eight bucks on this masterpiece! Remember when… uh… uh, Froze- Elsa used
her snow powers in the movie Frozen? I do. All right… [Whistle blowing] [Jazzy tropical jazz] If I – if I didn’t like mac and cheese now,
this is not going to convince me. [Audience groans] I mean… [Cough] I think that was a bit of plastic I just ate. Ugh, thank goodness for the corn, man. I mean, we’ve been here before, right? This mac and cheese is basically like the
mac and cheese from the All Star Nugget meal. I actually kind of like the shape of these
noodles better. There’s a bit more noodle to them. It’s still just, like, a faint cheese taste. Like, barely any. Very… watery. The pudding is exactly as it was before. I don’t need to eat more of this. Uuhhh, pass? [Laughs] Even though we’re skipping the – the pudding
on this one, though, we can’t let the magic powder go to waste! [Glitter sparkle magic~] Erm… It just tastes like disappointment. It’s not turning my mouth blue, is it? [Trumpets of victory] Overall, I’d say that the big winner today
was corn. Frozen, fresh – corn is good. I like corn. Maybe instead of getting your kids Kid Cuisine,
you can just have them feast on a good ol’ can of corn. I’m not exactly nostalgic for the taste of Kid
Cuisine. Although I do remember eating it, I don’t
remember it as well as something as, say, Lunchables. What I mainly recall are the commercials that
Kid Cuisine would air constantly on channels like Nickelodeon. They also get a ton of tie-ins with movies
and shows, a practice that they obviously haven’t yet abandoned. But I’m not going to let Kid Cuisine be the
only TV dinner for kids! In fact, this entire video was just a research
operation, and I finally have the information that I need. I’m about to take the kids’ TV dinner market
by storm by introducing my new product: Ian’s Box-o-Frozen Corn for Kids! And now try our new Spongebob Squarepants
Corn! It’s corn shaped just like Spongebob for a
limited time! Buy one now! It’ll have your kid saying, “I’m ready, I’m
ready – for a shit ton of corn!” [Electronica ending music]

About the author

Comments

  1. why do you like corn so much? i cannot stand frozen reheated corn. it's always too chewy, the skin of the corn kernels always gets too tough when it's frozen, and they don't have that same crunch as fresh corn. frozen corn repulses me.

  2. all i remember was the chicken was cold, the mac was alright, and the brownie did nothing but give me 2nd degree burns.

    but goddamn was it good.

  3. So funny he goes “do you guys even like this” I said out loud to myself I guarantee this is his most watch video. (Never watched one of his vids before) and what do you know! Don’t underestimate nostalgia and how dumb we all are.

  4. Lunchables are more entertaining and also. Kid cuisine makes me feel the salmonella swimming in every kid cuisine meal.

  5. Obviously hot pudding is nasty. That’s why you save it for last like a good boy should and let it sit in the freezer for a minute after you finish everything else

  6. I remember I really wanted to try kid cuisine when I was little. My mom finally broke down and got me 3, I actually really liked it. My mom didn’t expect this and she got me them every once and while. That’s the end of the story.

  7. I thought I was the only one that felt disgusted with myself after eating kid cuisine mac and cheese and I always threw the pudding away

  8. I don’t know what it is but I’ve been subscribed to you and have watched you for a long time but for some reason for like the past week or so I have been just binging your videos like sometimes the same videos multiple times what the heck have you done to me Ian?

  9. Omg I BEGGED my mom for one of these forever. My parents never bought frozen food. My mom FINALLY gave in and got me one. Its probably around 1997. I was soo excited to get that rainbow font box and blue tray! Most excited for the chocolate pudding!!! So she makes it for me on a night my dads not home and we dont sit at the dinner table, I get to eat it in front of the TV! I sit down to eat it …the food is disappointing but I dont care and cant wait to get to the pudding. I finally get to eat the chocolate and OMG THERE WAS A CHICKEN NUGGET IN IT JUST LIKE THE TROLL REVIEW SAID!!! I was sooo upset!!! Never asked for it again! Lmao. I cant believe that troll review said that 😂😂😂😂

  10. I was at the store today to find some kid cuisine (even though I’m probably outgrown of it) and I thought there was a popcorn chicken one but it was corn dogs the only reson is because there was fries

  11. Yes, this Video is really interesting 👍 I'm living in germany, being vegan since several years and will probably never eat a KC Meal. But now I'm prepared for the case.

  12. the pudding always burned my mouth 🤥✨👌🌿👌🌿🎂😡👉👉🤥🎉🥀🌿🌿🌿🎂😡😎🙄😡🔪🙄🎂🌿🎂👌🎂🔪🎂

  13. This video was made in july, whats with the fucking jingle bells tune. Unless…….. that kid cuisine tastes like a…… CHRISTMAS IN JULY 😀

  14. "I don't know that frozen food is the future of Youtube entertainment"

    Oh, how naive young Brutalmoose was. So innocent…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *