Lil Jon Gives the Panel Some Party-Throwing Tips – Lights Out with David Spade


It’s Super Bowl Sunday
this weekend. Everyone’s gonna be partying
in Miami. So, uh, we got Lil Jon
on the line to give us the scoop
from down there. -(laughs)
-(cheering and applause) -Hey!
-Hey there! It’s Lil Dave calling.
Can I call you Jon? Well, if I can call you David
or Dave or D. Spade, -you can call me Jon.
-Yeah. I like that. Listen, are there gonna be
any, uh, players at your party down there? Uh, yeah, I’m-a be there.
Yeah, I’m a player. I’m-a be there, yeah. Other people like me, yeah,
we gonna be there having a good old time.
It’s Miami. I thought you were at Sundance,
you got that hat on. -Uh, listen, so…
-I was at Sundance. What’s the, uh, dress code
at the Super Bowl parties? Um… as little clothes as possible. (cheering and applause) In Miami,
it’s always hot, baby! That makes sense.
So, uh, listen, can you tell me
who’s gonna win the game? It would help a lot
with my bookie. Well…
(laughs) I’m really rooting
for the 49ers, -so I’m gonna go with 49ers.
-Okay. -(cheering and applause)
-What’s up, Bay Area people? You got some 49er people here. And, also,
if I, uh, should go, uh, where do I put my backpack
full of jewelry down there? Is there, like, a place? Well, your-your big, large,
gigantic bodyguard, he needs to just hold on to it
for you. All right. I got my chain
with my PlayStation logo. I got all of it. All right. Well, listen,
we appreciate you calling. We’re all looking forward
to the game. And, uh, good luck
to your 49ers, bud. -Thanks for calling. Lil Jon.
-Yeah! (cheering and applause) Good man. So, at the Super Bowl, uh, he’s throwing a party, I guess. Gronkowski’s throwing a party. Uh, and the VIP package
for the Gronk one is a mere $1 million.
(chuckles) Here’s the ad for it. -(record scratches)
-Yo, Gronk, I’ve been working on
the most genius game plan ever. -We need you back on the field
this season, -(slurping) fighting for another ring! We’re gonna be world champs
again, but this time of partying. And we will call it Gronk Beach. -(laughter)
-I don’t… You’re in, right, Moshe? The only,
the only way I will attend is if they’re filming some kind
of Revenge of the Nerds sequel. Then I’ll show up. He looks like the Nerds guy. -Yeah.
-Look. This is so– -Look how alpha he is.
-CHRISTINA P: I know. KASHER: This festival’s brought
to you by-by HGH and Rohypnol. -This is so…
-I know. It’s-it’s like Burning Man -for people who can’t spell
“Burning Man.” -Oh. Just when you needed the, uh–
the organizational skills of the Fyre Festival combined
with the traumatic brain injury of the NFL. (cheering and applause) Oh, boy. 100%. Preacher? I don’t think
it’s that bad, man. -(laughter)
-I mean… You guys aren’t thinking
straight. Get 100,000 friends,
ten dollars each. -All right? That’s all
I’m saying, man. -That’s true. Here’s what you get. You get a private jet,
you get ten Super Bowl tickets, Rolls-Royces, and a screening
of Aaron Hernandez documentary. (laughter, groaning) -You know… you know that…
-I have a… -Ah. You know, it’s so expensive,
these tickets, that they literally have
a payment plan where you can slowly
pay off your tickets -to go to this festival.
-SPADE: Oh, horrible. Horrible. Can you imagine not being able to put your children
through college ’cause you had to do coke off
of Rick Ross’s tits? Like… (laughter) -(applause and cheering)
-I don’t think it’s that bad. -(laughing)
-I’m just playing. Out of the demographic. -By the way, I didn’t know…
-It’s a great idea. Uh, “Flo Rida.” I didn’t know that was Florida.
Did you know that? -I did. That’s one thing
I did know. -See, I’m… -Yup. I didn’t know Arby’s restaurant
meant “R” “B” for roast beef. -I don’t know anything.
-Wait. What? Wait. What? -You do not know that?
-I didn’t know that. -Isn’t that a mindblower?
-You just blew… Dude, I just figured out
that El Torito is Spanish
for “the little bull.” -Wow.
-(laughter) Think about… Right? -Mary Jane ain’t a person.
-Yeah. -That’s…
-(laughter) -(applause and cheering) -I was
like, “That’s…” -SPADE: Yup. -“That’s crazy.”
-Neither is Molly. All right, uh,
Kanye West announced he’s doing a Sunday
Super Bowl service, uh, uh, the morning
before the big game. -Wow. Lord. -By the way,
is there a dress code? I can’t even get into Chili’s
wearing this. -(laughter)
-This guy. This… I mean, this just shows -anything’s cool if he wears…
-I know. Like, cargo pants. -PAZSITZKY: I know.
-SPADE: Stupid when I wear ’em. A shirt– 14 XL. (laughter) He goes to follow the sinners,
though. He’s going to Miami
to do church. He knows they’re there.
Preacher, you’re a preacher. -What do you think
of this preacher? -Uh… (laughter) They… they laugh
because I’m black, so, uh… I mean,
what do I think about that? I don’t know, man.
He looked like he got whooped by his closet. You know
what I mean? Look like… -(laughter)
-Look like he just fell down. He’s like, “You know what? I’ll
just wear it. I’ll take this…” -(laughter) -SPADE: Yeah.
-“I’ll take this bad shit.” -(applause and cheering)
-He does. He does. He looks like
a dirty-clothes hamper. I mean, it’s a trip. Like,
what…? Like what do you do at a…
at a Yeezus Sunday ser…? Is it really
a religious service? Like, do you, like, go like, “Oh, forgive me, Yeezus,
for I have sinned. I spent less than $2,000
on sneakers.”? (laughter) “I have been dishonest. I said
your last album was good.” -(laughter)
-“I follow false prophets. I’m here, aren’t I?” -Wow. -I think
it’s a perfect place to repent -after Gronk’s party. That’s all
I’m saying. -Right, Right. -Oh, that’s true. -Going from
Gronk’s party, straight there. -Exactly. -Exactly.
-Also, he’s… How much is he worth?
$500 million. -PAZSITZKY: Oh, my God.
-He’s charging $100 a head to go -to this religious service.
-SPADE: I don’t get it. Like, I’m not saying
he’s a gold digger, but… -(laughter, applause, cheering)
-Hey-oh!

About the author

Comments

  1. I can't quite put my finger on why I can't stand Motion Capture. Is it his neck or his face or his clothes or his voice? I just am not sure. I don't hate him or anything, I'm not a monster, I just don't like him. Anyway, no biggie.
    Anyone else ever experience this phenomenon?

  2. I thought Arby's was the initials of the two guys who started the company. R and B.

    Edit: I was close. The two founders were brothers whose last name was Raffel. So, Raffel Brothers. RB…

  3. Missed a perfect joke opportunity. Black Chyna didnt change her name to Paper Plates, she changed it to Black Chinet… the actual brand of paper plates. Anyyyywaysssss

  4. Is that a MARATHON shirt Mr. SPADE has on 😃😃😃 if so then he is even more awesome than I already knew he was 😄😄 ✊✊🙏🙏💙💙💙 Real 1

  5. Comedy Central DEFINITELY keep this shit going! I’d love it if it was longer too but at least keep stuffing Mr. D Spade’s pockets cause we love this shit!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *