Marriage Conflict Resolution : How Conflict Can Bring You Together to Save Your Marriage This Year

this past year our marriage went through
some major conflict and it turns out we were communicating all wrong well in
this episode we’re gonna talk about how conflict actually brought us closer
together instead of pushing us further apart this is marriage WTF Michelle warning
we’re not licensed professionals however we are experts at saving our marriage
viewer discretion is advised of course there’s gonna be disagreements
in any marriage in any relationship for that matter the key is how you resolve
them and by learning how to resolve disagreements the right way can actually
help strengthen your relationships I needed to understand your triggers for
going into defensive mode I needed to understand why I went into defensive
mode I really didn’t and so that was gonna be a process for me as well while
conflict is normal in relationship it can also be an indicator that maybe
there’s some parts that aren’t working in a relationship here are some tips for
resolving conflict in your marriage tip number one stay calm and be direct
sometimes easier said than done but vital when it comes to effective
communication tip number two be honest with yourself and with your spouse be
honest about the action that caused a conflict we talked about it in the
previous video that we have to have a hundred percent honesty with our spouse
or significant other but honesty and that also includes being honest and
feeling the emotion because there’s so many emotions that we don’t even know
that we’re having yeah Brene brown when I started looking her up on YouTube she
does some amazing work I mean she’s got like five New York Times bestsellers for
a reason but she studied emotions and most of us only register three different
emotions that’s what you asked me right yeah that’s like how many emotions I go
happy mad yes and those are the most common ones
like when you when you talk about to anybody she actually identified 30 and
we actually referred to that a previous video as well how important it is to
identify the exact emotion that you are feeling at that time tip number three my
favorite number communication is key yeah we’ve always taught our kids that
the foundation to every healthy relationship is effective communication
be it friendships mother son father daughter brother sister student teacher
coach okay athlete see they get the point okay it’s important in a committed
relationship when you are communicating effectively you understand your partner
better and you make your relationship stronger you also have a better chance
of resolving conflicts successfully and creating a healthy and mature
relationship number four set boundaries yeah
everybody in a relationship deserves respect and if an argument occurs or a
disagreement occurs the one thing you don’t want is name-calling cursing each
other out or anything like that so if that does happen you do have the right
to tell your spouse or significant other to stop and if they don’t just walk away
and you know come back to it when cooler heads prevail we really don’t I mean
there’s a few times where I want to throw punch you always never called each
other names well looking back on I would have thrown a punch myself too
number five find the real issue typically arguments happen when one
partners needs are not being met try to get to the heart of the matter
for instance if Michelle’s mad at me because I’m not taking out the trash
maybe the real root of it is she’s feeling like she’s doing everything
around the house that I’m not helping yeah learn to talk about the real issue
it’s not usually just the garbage at that moment but sometimes that can be
hard to get to though right that’s a good point six agree to disagree
yes so if you and your partner can’t come to an understanding sometimes the
best thing to do is just to drop it I created disagree for example I have a
specific route that I like to take when going to the kids at school which we’ve
been driving there for how many years now like 14 right because the route that
I take just makes more sense but it’s not faster it is faster okay agree to
disagree and another one double stuffed Oreos why would you not get anything
other than Double Stuf they’re disgusting how are they discussed it’s
too much cream it is the right amount the regular Oreos don’t have enough
cream scrape it off make the cookie can’t believe we’re still married number
seven compromise when possible easy to say but hard to do okay so for example
she wants Chinese I want pizza we just had pizza two nights ago so we
have Chinese tonight pizza the next night compromise not compromising on my double-stuffed Oreos number eight consider everything is this really worth
fighting over is it really that important does it
change the way or could it potentially change the way the two of you feel about
each other if the answer to that question is yes then maybe it’s time for
you to really stress the importance of your point if not maybe it’s time for a
compromise hmm also consider your spouse’s point of view why are they
upset is it unusual for your partner to get that upset does your partner usually
compromise are you being unreasonable those are
questions to ask yourself so thinking about compromise like what was the last
thing we compromised on that you can remember I know right it’s been yeah
it’s been so long since we’ve had even a disagreement about anything yeah this
we’re telling you this where we were eight months ago
we barely could I mean we didn’t really talk like a man we’re like we’re like
roommates mm-hmm yeah and we were just running a business and yeah but on this
journey of self-discovery self-development spirituality like I
can’t even think of the last time where we even had a disagreement no or had to
compromise or anything yeah I mean we just now when we go to the store we just
buy a package of double-stuffed and a package of great yeah pretty much but
but but it also shows like we said another video it shows where you can be
and where you can go oh yeah if you both are willing to fight yeah for your
relationship you both put a plan in place you have the right people around
you hmm there can be a 180 turn and you get the help you need right by going to
the counselor absolutely like I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for counsel we
talked about it sometimes but it’s just exciting to be where we’re at and really
to see where we’re going because we talked about our future now we’re yeah
she didn’t really see me in it not at all yeah and you know the thing is
everyone deserves to be in a healthy relationship and it is possible you both
deserve to be happy so in the comments section below let us know if you’ve
found any of these tips helpful or if you have some listening to work for you
and remember we’re here because our marriage is worth the fight our family
is worth the fight and so is yours subscribe like and share this video and
we’ll see you on the next marriage WTF this kind of fun set on the floor doing
this now you know it’s gonna be hard getting up off here that’s alright will
you stay down here all night I have to call the kids

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