MARRIAGE PROBLEMS CONNECTING (3 SUGGESTIONS)


– So, you and your spouse
agreed to do a weekly check-in, but then the time comes and
you just wanna avoid it. I get it. Stay tuned and I’ll share three ways in how to overcome marriage
problems and connecting. If you’re excited about
this video, give us a like, subscribe, and hit the notification bell for a new video every Wednesday. Hi, my name is Danielle
West, and my husband and I have co-founded intentionalmarriages.net. We have mentored over a hundred couples on these type of topics, and we find that most
couples wanna just brush the little things under the
rug, but what we find over time is that they end up exploding
into something so much bigger. By the end of this video,
you’ll have three alternatives to help you deeply
connect with your spouse. The purpose of a weekly
check-in is to address issues in a relationship so
resentment doesn’t build up. You can see in this video here the four questions we encourage
couples to ask each other. Now, there are several reasons why couples won’t do the weekly check-in. You’re having a great day,
why ruin the mood? (laughs) You have such limited time together, why ruin the mood with a weekly check-in? Or a check-in only
starts a fight. (laughs) The last one is how my
husband felt with me, and he felt like he was
walking on eggshells. And I’m thinking, “I
shut down during a fight. “How is he walking on eggshells?” And that’s exactly why he
was walking on eggshells, is because I would shut
down, and he was afraid to say anything to me
’cause I would shut down and go away for a few days. I’m incredibly remorseful about that, but I think some of you can relate to it. So, comment below which of these reasons that you use to avoid a weekly
check-in with your spouse. I’m definitely number five. How do you push through the
reasons I just talked about? How do you push through
and have a weekly check-in? – Sometimes we forget how
to do the easiest thing in the world, which is
just to talk to each other. – Here’s our first recommendation. Let’s say your spouse
is all about harmony. They don’t wanna upset the apple cart, they just want to get along. So, how do you even attempt
to have a weekly check-in? Here’s what we recommend. As we discussed in the
weekly check-in video, we talk about our hopes and dreams. Why not , just talk about
your hopes and dreams. You need to build some
positive reinforcement and get some positive vibes rolling. – Good morning! – Morning! – Good morning! – Oh, and in case I don’t
see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night. (laughs) – So that when you come
to a weekly check-in, it’s not just all, “Oh, I’m nervous about talking about our issues.” So, talk about your hopes and dreams. Talk about what you’re looking forward to and what you hope for. I think over time that helps
build that positive love tank, that eventually you
work in the other steps and it won’t be as hard. The second reason couples don’t wanna do a weekly check-in or
can’t do a weekly check-in is because of time. Life is full of responsibilities– – Dad, Nigel hit Kim with a dart and I assume he will be punished! – All right, Jake, get
me a band-aid, okay? Here, here, go stir, you like to stir. Okay, let’s take a look at it. – Kids’ schedule is just chaotic. Keepin’ up with the house. How do you have a weekly check-in if you don’t have time for one? Well, hopefully you have
enough time to at least review each other’s schedule,
and this also helps build some positive reinforcement
into doing this weekly check-in. So, let’s say you look at your schedule and you see some big
appointments comin’ up. You see that one of you
has a really big meeting with your boss or a big client, or that you have a big
doctor’s appointment. Make a note on your calendar
to follow up with your spouse. Let your spouse know,
“Hey, I know this meeting “is coming up for you. “Wanted to let you know “I’m thinking about you
and praying for you.” Or the doctor’s appointment,
send them a text and say, “Hey, I know you’re walking
into this doctor’s appointment, “be sure to call or text me afterwards “and let me know how it goes.” So, now you’re building that
connection during the week even though life may feel like it’s really chaotic with your schedule. So, that’s another step
on how to stay connected and not do the full weekly check-in but at least a portion of it. The last tip is the hardest, but we feel we need to point it out. For some couples, we pay
more attention to our car– (upbeat opera music) (windows squeaking) Getting it washed,
having the tires rotated, getting the oil changed,
but we don’t necessarily pay that much attention
to our own relationship. Ouch, that one stings, huh? (laughs) I know, we’ve been guilty of
not doing a weekly check-in, and every time we avoid it, we have a big blow up a few months later. It’s inevitable. Being intentional, as
much as you don’t like walking into this weekly check-in, I promise you, and I am such a runner. – [Preacher] We are gathered here today.
– No – [Man] Now, where is she going? – [Groom] Don’t. (dramatic music) – [Man] Maggie! – Away from conflict
that if you can practice having this weekly check-in, over time you will feel deeply connected, and you’ll be dealing with the issues while they’re still small. And they’re much easier to talk about because they’re so small. So, I encourage you, if you
want an extraordinary marriage, be intentional with this weekly check-in, and Russ and I are here to help you. If you have questions, or you
get stuck, or you’re like, “Wait a minute, this thing
is escalating into fights.” Please reach out to us. Comment below. We watch our comments. Or you can reach out to us on our website: IntentionalMarriages.net. (laughs) We hope and pray for you that
you have a thriving marriage. We have a free download here
for you to use as a guide to help you with your weekly check-ins, but be sure to reach out to us if you have any questions
about the process. If you liked this video, please
give us a like, subscribe, and take a screen shot (camera shutter clicking) and send this to your friends and ask them to join us. Be sure to tell me if any
of these three suggestions help you in overcoming your fear of checking in with your spouse. We’d love to hear from you. Thanks for watching, and we’ll
see you in the next video.

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Comments

  1. Thank you so much for sharing these insights. I love that you mentioned how we need to be intentional in our marriages. Could not ring any truer! Great energy and keep up the great work!

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