Hi, my name is Paul Friedman. I founded
The Marriage Foundation and this is in response to those who are married but in
love with someone else. This is very tricky, this is very tricky and it’s also
very understandable. Now I am not going to hit you with the moral stuff because
I really want you to succeed. I want you to move past this and I have to tell you
that the complexity of your current situation is such that you’re even
searching YouTube videos for an answer so I’m going to help you see this. It didn’t
begin with you’re falling in love with someone while you were married,
that isn’t the genesis of your problem. The genesis of your problem is that your
spouse wasn’t giving you what you felt they should be giving you. You weren’t
getting out of the marriage what you felt you should be getting out of the
marriage so let’s take a look at this a little more closely what I just said. You
weren’t getting what you thought you should get. You allowed your
disappointment to open the door to doing something that you already knew would
complicate everyone’s life so much that there is no possibility of a positive
outcome. You have to go back, it’s the law of karma.
You basically ditched your spouse, you abandoned them, you betrayed them.
Treachery is the worst of all “sins.” You take a look in
any scripture, you take a look in the Old Testament what David did with their
Sheba. Then you take a look in a New Testament with
what happened with Jesus with Judas. These are the villains in history. These
are stories told for a purpose. They could have remained stories only a few
people heard but we need to know that when we are treacherous we pay for that
big time. Don’t even worry about what it’s doing to the people you’ve treacheries. It’s going to come back to you. You’ve got to clean it up.
I’m sorry, I’m not telling you this I’m not going you’re going to hell
I’m not doing that. I’m not saying God’s going to be mad at you.
God loves us too much for that to come into play, what I’m saying is it’s got to
get straightened out by you and the sooner the better. How do you do it? If
you don’t go cold turkey it isn’t going to work. You got to go cold turkey. You could have a quick discussion, use your text. “Sorry, what we
did was wrong. We got to end this,” and then and here’s the good news.
The good news is this. It will take time because your mind as you convinced that
this other person has rescued you sound of mind works, it gets us into trouble.
But the person you originally chose to marry has some amazing qualities too. That
love that you have for them only went away because you were miss managing your
relationship with them, therefore, you can start managing your relationship with
them in a way that resuscitates the passion that you originally had. More
than that, when you really learn how to do this, and that’s why you’ve come to us,
you will have that marital bliss that you originally saw it. Now, you’re too far
gone to just use one of my books because you’re going to have
learn to control your mind — that’s the first step. You’re going to have to work
through this and I’ve created some methods and techniques that absolutely
work to control your mind and so you need to take one of the courses. You got
to take the course for women if you’re a woman. You got to take the course for men
if you’re a man and you got to start with that and retrain your mind and get
out of this. You’re in a nosedive and there’s just no getting
away from that. There’s nothing pretty about it.
You got to get out. You got a jump, you got a jump ship with this other person.
It’s the only thing that’s going to work and I’ve seen this hundreds of
times. Have I ever seen it work out? Not once. All the therapists who I’ve ever worked
with, I’ve trained many, have they ever seen this work out? Not once,
this doesn’t work out. This is not one of those things where you could go, “Well,
this time.” Uh-uh, it isn’t going to work out. So please, save yourself, save your family,
save your spouse, save the person you love from this because they’re also in
debt with this one. This is bad. This is bad not like you’re an evil person. This
is bad and this doesn’t have a happy ending.
I’m sorry to be the one to tell you but if you listen I’m glad I was the one to
tell you because I only want you to be happy. You have my prayers.
Blessings to you, blessings to your spouse and blessings to your family.
Please watch this video again. Please write into our counselors if you need
more guidance. Do not just go on the way you’ve been going.Do not let anyone tell
you, it’s okay. It’s not okay. All my love to you. Take