– Hello, it is First Lady Melania Trump. Look at my trees soaked in blood, soaked in sweet, sweet blood. Ah, to be an ornament, to be admired, to be placed in a small box
away from your husband’s eyes for 11 months of the year. Sometimes, I look into the mirror and I throw knives at it. I eat glass. Be best. Be best! Save me. My Christmas gift to Donald is to touch his penis for exactly three seconds. Look, it’s my prison. I love fashion. I am a happy lady from another
country and I wear perfume. Be best.