Miss America Fun Facts Aren’t So Fun


LAST NIGHT, THE MISS AMERICA PAGEANT CROWNED ITS 94TH
WINNER. DID YOU SEE THAT?
THERE WAS LOTS OF EXCITEMENT, PLENTY OF SURPRISES. THE BIGGEST SURPRISE FOR ME WAS
FINDING OUT THAT YOU GUYS STILL DO THIS. [LAUGHTER]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] AND I KNOW — I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE
THINKING, YOU DONT HAVE A MISS UNITED
KINGDOM. WELL WE DO, IT’S THE QUEEN, AND
SHE WINS EVERY YEAR. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, MA’AM.
ALWAYS AT YOUR SERVICE. I UNDERSTAND THAT MISS AMERICA
IS AN OLD AMERICAN TRADITION, BUT SO WAS DYING OF POLIO, AND
YOU’VE MANAGED TO STOP THAT. TECHNICALLY THE WINNER LAST
NIGHT WAS ANYONE WHO DIDNT WATCH. BUT THE OFFICIAL WINNER WAS MISS
GEORGIA. AND IT DIDNT FAZE HER AT ALL. SHE REALLY KEPT HER COOL.
LETS TAKE A LOOK.>>YOUR NEW MISS AMERICA IS —
MISS GEORGIA! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
MISS GEORGIA. !
DOES SHE HAVE A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN EVERY TIME HER NAME IS
CALLED? IS SHE AT STARBUCKS AND THEY GO,
I HAVE A GRANDE CAPPUCCINO FOR MS. GEORGIA? SHE’S LIKE, OH, MY GOD!
IT’S MY CAPPUCCINO GRANDE! [APPLAUSE]
IVE NEVER BEEN THAT EXCITED IN MY LIFE, RIGHT?
AND YOU’RE TALKING TO SOMEBODY WHOSE WIFE LET HIM GO
SEE “THE NOTEBOOK” WHILE SHE WENT TO SEE “KILL BILL 2.” IT WASN’T A JOKE.
IT WASN’T — IT’S A GOOD MOVIE. IT IS A GOOD MOVIE.
YOU KNOW. DON’T BE THE GUY THAT PRETENDS
YOU DON’T LOVE “THE NOTEBOOK.” YOU PACK IT IN GUILLERMO OR I’LL
TELL EVERYBODY WHAT WE WERE TALKING ABOUT AT REHEARSAL.
YOU WANT ME TO TELL THEM? NO.
THE BEST PART OF THE WHOLE PAGEANT WASNT EVEN SHOWN ON
TELEVISION. THIS YEAR, EVERY CONTESTANT
RECORDED A TWITTER VIDEO WHERE SHE SHARED A FUN FACT ABOUT
HERSELF. NOW, I’M NOT SURE THEY KNOW THE
MEANING OF THE WORD “FUN.” TAKE A LOOK.>>AND HERE’S A FUN FACT ABOUT
ME. I DRIVE A PICKUP TRUCK.
I’M OVER SIX FOOT TALL IN HEELS.>>I LOVE HAWAII PIZZA WITH
EXTRA PINEAPPLE.>>I WAS BALD UNTIL I WAS 2
YEARS OLD.>>I WORK AS AN AUTOPSY
TECHNICIAN.>>ONE FACT ABOUT ME IS THAT I
CAN SPEAK WITH MY MOUTH CLOSED. [APPLAUSE]
JAMES: I MEAN, I’VE GOT A FUN FACT, YOU CAN’T SPEAK WITH YOUR
MOUTH CLOSED. OR SHOULD I SAY —
BUT I MEAN, THESE ARE BIZARRE. MISS INDIANAS FUN FACT IS THAT
HER SKULL HAD TO BE REMOVED, RESHAPED, AND REATTACHED, WHICH
IS LESS FUN AND MORE LIKELY TO HAUNT YOUR NIGHTMARES FOR THE
REST OF YOUR LIFE. BUT I CAN TELL YOU — I CAN TELL
YOU A FUN FACT ABOUT ME. IF YOU’D LIKE, DO YOU WANT TO
LEARN A FUN FACT ABOUT ME? [APPLAUSE]
HERE’S A FUN FACT ABOUT ME, AFTER WATCHING MISS AMERICA LAST
NIGHT,IM GOING TO MOVE MY DAUGHTER BACK TO THE U.K.

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Comments

  1. Um The Uk has "Miss Universe Great Britain" where the woman competes in the Miss Universe pageant – so yeah. It does exist in England too. "Miss United Kingdom" – competes in the Miss World pageant. etc. And "Miss Great Britain" is the oldest beauty pageant in GB having been started in 1945.

  2. All the comments talking about how progressive he is and how talented and funny he is, but they ain't getting shit past me. How is there about to be under 200 comments on a video with 170k+ views? You are deleting comments of people who didn't agree with what you think of James and how he should be represented and it's disgusting.

  3. I knew miss Kansas that year! I've danced with her for years! One of the nicest, most beautiful women I've ever met.

  4. Hi James! I absolutely loooooooove your show. You are hilarious, truly. This is funny, but as a competitor in the Miss America Organization, I can see that you are not completely informed on the why the Miss America Organization is so incredible for young women! I hope this year you fact check and make it a point to learn the values they possess and teach young women πŸ™‚

  5. James, that color looks so dashing on you!
    Great jokes in the beggining. But please, please please, avoid being mean. It doesn't suit you, you don't do mean jokes… there are plenty of those everywhere else.

  6. Miss Universe…. Doesn’t someone have to win Miss … from any country so that they can be in Miss Universe?

  7. People dont realize how much work goes into winning pageants like this especially miss universe or miss America. If someone made a documentry of it, I am sure people will appreciate it more. Its just not about having a pretty face.

  8. Am I the only one that doesn’t think she’s that pretty? Idk my mum always really over did the fake than and I’m from a country where fake tans long nails and Botox is really over done so the looks horrible for me.

  9. "I understand that Miss America is an old tradition but so was dying of polio and you've managed to stop that" best line

  10. Well, where else will old, morbidly obese men like Trump get to oogle underage girls while they are undressed in the dressing room?

    In all other western nations, that would be a crime but apparently it's OK in the US.

    No trannies in those locker rooms though, only old morbidly obese rich men and underage undressed girls.

  11. God, Miss Georgia got married recently and I have to hear all about her shit… I am somewhat close to her home town, and I know people who claim to have known her

  12. That over reaction bit reminded me of miss congeniality (or however you spell it) when she's on the plane watching it then mocks them

  13. … Mam pronounced with a british accent sounds sooo much like Mum in America πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ those few seconds are always fun to think that people are referring to the Queen as their Mum

  14. My college is paid for because of this organization. The reactions she had are because her life is being changed for ever.

  15. Of course they still do this – they just elected the guy who liked to peep into their locker rooms president. They're American. We shouldn't be surprised by their stupidity anymore – just agree to fund that wall, so they can stay behind it, and we can contain the epidemic of stupidity

  16. I hated the Notebook, Ryan whatsthatface was not NEARLY attractive enough to play the only attractive person in the film who was James Garner, and he was gone in 5 minutes, and over 80 years old by then. No, thank you. And I'm not even a guy. If I'm going to watch crap, then I like to have some decent looking people to stare at for the duration of a film. I'd rather watch a bad Hallmark movie, and they're all the same, because at least the actors are better-looking. Most of them are even sort of OK-looking.

  17. I don't really blame girls who do bikini competitions. They worked their butts off to look like Greek goddesses. In the Canadian military I've worked alongside women who entered bikini competitions and men who entered bodybuilding competitions (who worked their butts off to look like Greek gods). If they're okay with entering bikini/bodybuilding competitions then I'm not one to judge. More power to them.

  18. I almost fell off my chair while laughing about thisπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
    If there is one person, who didn't find this funny… boi, you've got a humour-problem😜

  19. @2:35..I'm not a medical expert but…
    "My skull was taken off my body, re-shaped and re-attached" seems to call for Doctor Frankenstein.

  20. James sounds like on of dem ugly bitches who are always are critical of these kind of beauty pagents.
    Way to get the late show off to a less bitchy start.

  21. In the name of EQUALITY that the #metoo movement is fighting for, I think MEN should be allowed to take part in the competition. Or is this too much equality for the women who want equality, but only for women.

  22. What I took from this is: if you don't like what you see on TV, use the remote and change the channel. Or better yet, turn the thing off.

  23. As a Southerner, we tend to be very theatrical and over the top at times haha that's why she's flipping out πŸ˜‚

  24. I prefer Miss America over the queen, as the song said β€œgod shave the queen” because she need it

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