Multicultural Couples Debate On Raising Their Children | 2 Cultures, 1 Couple


– I want them to love
Jamaica like that, that is really–
– Me too, I just don’t want my
daughter Daggering or Gutsy Wining, you
know what I’m saying? So they don’t gotta
learn everything. (cheerful music) – We have one child together. His name is Evian
Simmons and he is a little over two years old now. He is very energetic, very
outgoing, loving little boy. – I haven’t really spoken to
Evian about where we come from. – We haven’t really
spent time focusing on each specific culture, but he definitely
takes more to her side and her culture because he
does speak a lot of Spanish. – I know that when he’s
with my grandmother, she talks to him
a lot in Spanish and recently he started
saying Santa Clau, which is Santa Claus. (speaking a foreign language)
which is water, milk and in the mornings,
he’s usually like, (speaking a foreign language)
means, where’s papa, like where’s dad. – There’s times where she’ll
have to translate for me. I’m like, what does
he want right now? Very important for both of us, for him to be bilingual, maybe even teach him a
third language right now because he’s trying to
learn everything right now. (cheerful music) – We have a five
year old son together who is in kindergarten now. – And his name is Kai. As Kai’s gotten older,
Kai’s kind of like the mayor of our building
so everyone knows him. When you ask him what’s
his name and who is he, he will tell you his Kai Ng
and he’s black and Chinese. – Yeah.
– Like, he will not hold back on that. Sometimes it’s a
little uncomfortable ’cause people aren’t
ready for that when he tells them that
he’s black and Chinese, but he’s very proud to be both and that’s something that
was really important for us was to really instill the
sense of identity in him to know that both parts of him are equally as important, that his combination
is beautiful, that who he is is beautiful
because, you know, kids can be cruel and kids
can be a little bit mean. – We don’t currently have kids, but we do have talks about
how that’ll go in the future and you know, I feel
like we’ll compromise. – I think we have different
views on the birthing process. She wants to have
an at home birth– – Natural birth.
– Natural birth, I wanna make sure
we’re in a hospital or around professional
doctors in case of emergency, there’s someone there, but
she’s okay with a doula? – Yeah, I’m okay with
like a midwife and a doula only because my
mom had me natural and she had my siblings natural and my mother is a
nurse and we, you know, just being from our culture, we’re big on herbs and you
know, natural remedies. I think when I met Drew, the birthing experience was
kinda like yucky to him. It wasn’t like a beautiful, I don’t know if it still
is a yucky thing to you, I’m not sure. – Visually it’s yucky, but that’s why I would
rather be at a hospital where professional doctors, if something, any
little thing goes wrong, I feel secure knowing
that, you know, there’s someone
there to step up. – To step up, yeah. That’s what my midwife
is for. (laughs) I don’t know. – I actually am a
transgender man. I’m currently pregnant
with our child and we’ve had some talks about how we’re going to
raise our future kid. I know that we will bump heads
if we end up having a girl just because he’s so
Southern that he feels like girls are like these little
fragile delicate beings and I know better. – I was raised by my grandmother
and she is very old school, no short shorts, dress
skirts to your knees or past your knees, how just
by the way that you talk or how your mannerisms,
how you eat, I’m just, um, I get all of
that from my grandmother. – In the South, they’re
real like old school. They’re not very progressive. There’s still that like,
women are these dainty, you know, flowers that
are, that need to be, you know, coddled and they
can’t do certain things. Whereas, up North, you see
a lot more progression. – I’d say we have pretty
much a lot of similarities in terms of raising a child. We definitely
believe in discipline and just, you know,
teaching him now so that we develop that
structure now as a child so that when he’s older,
he’s not outta control. – When I was younger,
I remember my mom would also make
us kneel in rice. I haven’t really came to
thought if I’m gonna do that with Evian when he gets
older, but I may. (laughs) – I grew up in a
Caribbean household. My dad was there,
but he was not the, kind of enforcer of my sister and I growing up was all my mom. You came home, you
did your homework and then you did
mommy’s homework and there was no
questions asked, that was how it was, it
was, “Yes ma’am, no ma’am.” you know, some people
think it’s, you know, militaristic in some ways,
but that’s the way I grew up and that’s the way I
honestly think it should be. However, it’s a little
bit different for you. – Well my parents
were like, you know, raised me similarly, but like
with me and also my sister, my younger sister, we both,
not that we were rebels, but we would pave our own road and we would not always be
good listeners, I would say and we see that in our son and– – Oh he is so not
a good listener. – I don’t believe in spanking and that absolutely is a
reflection of my childhood ’cause my mother
believed in it adamantly. I used to think
that was her like workout regiment, honestly. I think she would
just find things, she’d be like, “You know, “I’m gaining a little weight,
let me find something.” So, I don’t subscribe
to that thought process. – So my mother, I wouldn’t
say she would beat us, but whip us, whatever,
however you want to say it and her voice is so strong
that kinda scared us and whipped us into shape. – I feel as though, (laughs) and this is gonna
be horrible to say, as the person that has
to do all of the work in creating this
being, what I say goes. – That’s how you feel? – That’s exactly how I feel–
– Whatever, whatever he says goes. – I think we have similar views, but just the way I was
raised was totally different as to how he was raised. Tyler was raised with his
family being established and them being white. There was a lot of things,
like extracurricular activities and he was a boy
scout and a sea scout and just a bunch of
white people stuff which is good because
I’m all for it. However, my parents didn’t
have the luxury of like attending our
extracurricular activities because they were busy working. They were trying to buy a house for the first time
in this country. So the way we were raised
is totally different and sometimes,
like with his son, at first I was very like,
“Why is he doing that? “Why is he acting like this?” Why this, why that because
I come from a family with a lot of kids and the kids just got their butt
whooped and they listened, but white people don’t
really punish their kids the way we do and
it was different and it took some
adapting for me at first, but I think our
values are the same and I think that’ll translate
into when we have our kids. We’ll compromise on
certain things. (laughs) (cheerful music) – Mm. (laughs)
– Hm. Is it okay to say it on the air? (laughing) No, just kidding. – So even though, like
I grew up in a household where you got the belt and
that was just the way it was, I don’t think that’s
something that is gonna be necessary
for my future kids. I don’t really like violence so I don’t think giving
my kid an ass whooping, like my parents would do to me and my siblings is the solution. Tyler can be very
like hard on his son and sometimes I have
to soften him up. We just balance each other out, I think in all aspects. – Honestly, I think
words work better than, you know, laying hands, but sometimes you just gotta
smack ’em upside the head, you know, what are
you doing, you know? Fix that, don’t
do that, you know? – You know if we’re
in the right position, we could get a nanny
to watch the kids and she’s against that. – Definitely not. When it comes to kids,
my mom could watch my kid and that’s probably
the only person, maybe your mom too, I would, moms are the only people
that I would really trust unless it was like my sister
or my sister’s friend, something like
that, but like no, he doesn’t mind the 24/7 nanny. He doesn’t mind somebody,
I’m completely against it. I feel like we should
raise our kids. – No we will, but there’s
times where I feel like if we’re both working
or there’s, you know– – Then I will become a mom. – We need help. – Then I become a mom. – You become a mom, but I feel like if you have
a nanny on deck, it’s easier. – If we had a nanny, my
mother would be offended. (laughs) (cheerful music) – Kevin went to public school. So he’s team public school. I’m team private school and that’s a point of contention
between the two of us, but I really would love
him to have the opportunity to go to an Ivy League school. I went to Yale for undergrad. He doesn’t have to
go to Yale, you know, he could go to Harvard
if he wants to. Um, but I just want him
to have that option as, you know, a little
black boy in this world or Asian boy in this world, I think a lot of doors are
already gonna be closed for him and that being an option
for him and so education, at least the way I’ve been
taught and the way I grew up, education was the
way to open the door. Education was the way to be
able to advance yourself, to get to the next
level, to be, you know, better and have more
opportunities than
your parents did and so for that reason,
that’s super important for me. I don’t know, it just seems
to me like the only way to have him have a better life. – Yeah but, you know, following all those steps
doesn’t insure success. – It doesn’t–
– I mean, it gives a better
chance probably– – Yes, a better chance,
that’s what I want. – When he was first born, I didn’t feel comfortable
putting him on social media. I didn’t feel comfortable
like putting pictures of him, of what he looked like and my family believes in
(speaking a foreign language) In English, it’s called bad eye. For someone to
give you a bad eye, which can be someone
wishing bad on you. – What is it, like Voodoo? – Not necessarily
Voodoo, but you know, people can wish bad on
you and things happen, but your old beliefs
don’t necessarily have to be true today and I
don’t think like that anymore. – So I feel like being Caribbean and having Jamaican background, I really do want them
to enjoy the music, enjoy like the dialect. I feel like it’s different
than a lot of others and I feel like, as a Jamaican, I’m very proud to be so
I definitely want them to spend a lot of
time with my mom and understand Patois, which
is the Jamaican dialect and you know, kind of
understand the jokes. I feel like sometimes when
I share the jokes with Drew, he doesn’t necessarily
get it or understand it just because it’s difficult
to understand like, and I want them to love Jamaica. Like that is really– – Me too, I just
don’t want my daughter Daggering or Dutty Wining,
you know what I’m saying? So they don’t got
to learn everything. Thanks for watching
and comment below other topics you
want us to discuss. – And make sure you subscribe
to the VH-1 YouTube channel.

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Comments

  1. Unlearn the harmful "old school" habits of your parents and ancestors. It harmed you and it will harm your child.

  2. This sky drewski relationship…. MAYBE his mom can watch her grandchild but my sister's friend can watch the child.

  3. The non black and black interracial relationships are being promoted to break up the black family and have more and more less melanated people on the Earth making it seem cool for people wanting to be mixed also peep how the transgender agenda is also pushed by the black male to make it seem socially acceptable another silent weapon for quiet wars there is no such thing as transgender that’s the work of the Baphomet and the Satanic agenda

  4. Notice how there’s zero FBAs on this show? Good. We got took much pride for c👀nery.

  5. Show me a Foundational Black American from the South that would participate in this garbage.

  6. Having mixed race children does not stop racisum and the global distraction of African people at the hands of White supremacy. I'm from England and alot of the mixed race children in England especially up north are racist towards black people.

  7. I'm not surprised that Sky and Drewski haven't tied the not yet 😂 Drewski cheated on Sky with Bianca.

  8. This is exactly why I stick with my own people. Life is already difficult being black. You think I want to intermix😝& confuse my baby. HELL NO! I love myself too much & my people to procreate the likeness of me.

  9. Theres no reason for the kids to take abit of each of there cultures and let him/her choose for themself

  10. interracial relationship is disgusting is exuces white people racism and creates more self hate in the black community

  11. I believe none of these people should have/had kids until they can figure out how they want to raise there child! So the kid isnt growing up seeing there parents fight

  12. Sky needs to be careful laughing off all drew's sly comments. You may know he means well but there's a distinct lack of understanding there. Your children may internalise these small remarks and low key self hate cause they know their dad think they're "ghetto"

  13. Man say him nuh want him daughter fi do no daggering or fi do nuh dutty whine🤣🤣🤣🤣hope she nuh watch no Jamaican dancehall music videos enuh😂😂😂Jamaican people a the best 🇯🇲🇯🇲🇯🇲🇯🇲🇯🇲🇯🇲

  14. Drewski really rubs me the wrong way. Sky really needs to be careful what kind of negative talk she entertains about black culture with her white fiance.

  15. It's beautiful all the different cultures💖 but I can't help but feel saddened that in 2020 people can still think racially 😠💖

  16. Bruh when are we going to learn the difference between RACE, NATIONALITY AND ETHNICITY 🤦🏽‍♀️ JESUS…….

  17. naaa do it at the hospital. every minute counts if something goes wrong and you need c sect. hopefully every thing goes fine but don't take the chance.

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