My BEST Marriage Advice for YOUNG Newlyweds (+ the Pros/Cons of getting married young) | Wife Talk


are you considering getting married
young or have you ever wondered what it’s like to get married very young well
today that is what this video is going to discuss hi guys my name is Alyssia Marie
welcome to my channel call it adulting here at my channel I like to talk about
life skills mindset self development and finances with a little sprinkle of
lifestyle just to keep things interesting if you’re new here please
help me out and hit that subscribe button I know that can be annoying for
youtubers to ask but I always gotta ask because you guys will only ones that can
help me reach my goal so today we’re going to be talking about getting
married pretty young why I qualify to talk about this I am 21 years old
currently and I got married to my husband when I just turned 20 years old
and she was 21 at the time so I do have the experience of getting married very
young and I really want to just talk to you guys about it today I will tell you
about the pros and cons of getting married very young and eventually I
would like to tell you my advice about getting married young so let’s get to it
okay so let’s talk about the pros and cons of us being married so young the
biggest Pro I would say is that we’re setting up a foundation together and
that comes to money and just how we live with each other and our routine in our
lifestyle because we didn’t live with each other before we have gotten married
getting used to living with someone can be difficult just because you both have
your habits better to break it habit and to tell someone how you feel about a
certain thing that they do every day when they’re young rather than when
they’re old like making the bed that’s a really little example of what I’m
talking about but making the bed makes me feel like I’m in a clean environment
it makes me feel ready for the day if I’m able to tell him that we need to
start doing that one we’re 20 versus when we’re 30 it’s gonna be a lot easier
for him to change his mindset about something and a lot easier for me to me
to not be so strict and set in my ways you really get to grow up together and
another pro is that we have more years together
so something that makes me very sad but something I’m very realistic about is
the fact that there’s gonna be a day that we both no longer hear and there’s
only so long that someone can live and spend with someone and makes me feel
very happy that I found my soul mate so young because we are going to spend a
lot more years together and have that many more memories and I just feel very
blessed that we found each other so young another Pro is that we can kind of
put off having kids for a couple of years to take care of our own personal
goals I have my personal goal of graduating with my bachelor’s degree in
education I am considering maybe wanting to get my master’s I know you’ve done I
want to get my masters but I can’t say how I’ll feel in two years because I’m
only halfway through school as of right now and so that is my personal goal josh
has told the military and when he can’t serve in the military he will be working
full-time but he also will be going to school full-time wants to graduate with
his bachelor’s degree before we have kids as well and we still need to spend
this time together without taking another huge step such as having kids we
do want to have a lot of kids but we just want to make sure that before we go
through that process and before makes such a big lifestyle change like that
that first we do what things for ourselves and that we set up a great
foundation for each other and so that’s another really big Pro is that we can
put that off for five years I’m 21 if we put it off for five years
they’ll be 26 I think that’s a great age to start having kids and that’s just a
personal decision for me if you want to have kids younger right away when you
get married do that but for me that’s not what I want right now and also
before we have kids I think it’s really important to just spend time with your
husband get used to be married so I really want a relationship with Josh
that is independent from the relationship I have with them once we
have kids because there’s going to be a day that our kids are gonna grow up and
they’re gonna go off on their own and if we don’t have a foundation between it
ourselves and we don’t take time for ourselves and we don’t have like a very
strong relationship then it’s gonna be tough for us to live a life once we
don’t have kids because if our relationship only revolved around our
kids and once they’re gone then what is there I think it’s really important to
just spend time with each other because this is the only time in our lives that
we don’t have any responsibility other than ourselves in each other well so if
that’s something you want to do like you want to have kids but you want to also
have like a five-year time when you’re just getting used to be married and
spending a lot of time together getting married young can be great
because you get married young but you still have kids at like a normal healthy
age range where you don’t have to worry about having an at-risk pregnancy and
you’re still able to have as many kids as you want because you are able to
start younger now let’s talk about the cons of getting married young okay so
people may think that there are a lot of cons to being married young I hear a lot
of people saying like but what about dating other people and going out and
having fun or just meet someone new and that excitement I’m going to tell you
the trick to not having any cons in a young marriage and God is to think
as cons as Pro where someone may think about meeting new people for the
excitement and how that’s a con of being marriage I have changed my mindset to
think I’m lucky that I met the person that I’m meant to be with and someone
that makes me feel excited like that so young because really ultimately what are
we looking for when we go out and we’re trying to meet new people it’s to find
someone that you can spend your life with I already found that I did that
that process just happened when I was younger compared to other people but
when I was going to Madison I was meeting people and was it fun yeah but
did it give me the level of love and satisfaction and wholeness and overall
happiness as Josh does not even a percentage of what Josh brings me and so
that’s how I choose to change that mindset around when my friends are going
out and they’re single and they’re having fun I remind myself that I just
found that love that they’re looking for a lot sooner in my life and so that is
my tip for cons there may be cons that you’re thinking about but you just need
to change your mentality about it turn it into a pro so that is my advice but I
do have some more advice I want to give you guys if you do decide to get married
very young and these are for young couples this is what has worked for Josh
and I I think Josh and I have an absolutely amazing relationship he makes
me feel so secure and protected and happy and wanted and desired and just
everything he is everything to me and I know that I’m everything to him and we
just have something really special if you have someone that makes you feel
like that and you want to get married marry it doesn’t mean that there’s not
gonna be any issues we have set these boundaries up during our fight and that
has allowed us to fight like adults and to help us grow as a couple and to
overall have a really happy marriage so I want to give you guys my advice to
having a happy marriage while you’re young didn’t give you 12 tips today and
definitely the number one tip is that you need to have a firmer mindset when
it comes to marriage so when you’re thinking about marriage before you even
get marry this is something I’m definitely think about before you get
married ask yourselves when you think about marriage you think oh well if it
doesn’t work out I can always get a divorce like yeah I’d be really sad but
it’s something that I can always do do you think of it that way or do you think
of it as when you’re married you’re locked in for life I would never result
to divorce in my mind it’s not a thing for me
it’s not something I think about ever it’s not something that I ever see for
myself I don’t think anyone ever sees it for themselves but it’s something that I
would go through how to make sure that never happens and that’s the head Minds
that you need to have because there’s going to be lots of fights you just
really need to understand the seriousness of marriage it is very
serious and that’s why this can be so hard for someone to make a commitment
like this from there so yeah it is very serious it is set in stone it is forever
and that is something that you need to understand and be able to even like
contemplate in your head and be able to realize that you are going to be with
this person the rest of your life number two always be your spouse’s number-one
support each other’s number one supporters is very important because
you’re telling that person that no matter what you do as long as you’re
happy and as long as you’re making it work for yourself and you’re gonna be
your number one self in this relationship then I support you 100%
something that you can do to show your support is have big reactions so when
you’re telling someone that you care about something that happened in your
day or something that you accomplished you want a big reaction that’s what
we’re all looking for and when someone kind of like Oh awesome like that’s not
gonna make you feel proud of what you did you’re gonna think like oh like
things you know like I didn’t really get the reaction I wanted no give big
reactions tell them that I’m making you proud every day tell them that they’re
amazing and that they work so hard and that they deserve whatever this news is
that they’re gonna tell you give big reactions number three always be honest
about your feelings but you really need to pick and choose your battles because
there are going to be a million battles that you can have every single day
there’s gonna be something that your husband does or your wife does that is
going to bother you to the core and it’s something that probably doesn’t matter
that much you know like that’s when you need to decide to pick your battles
something that’s gonna bother you and that you can’t get over and that it’s
something that just like hurts you deep down on the court yes that is a battle
worth battling but if you’re mad about them like keeping the sink on or not
going grocery shopping you’re like just something dumb you can talk to about it
but don’t battle over it say it in a nice way saved in a calm way try to
battle the least amount as possible if you really need to then of course I
understand there are things that you’re gonna feel passionate about and those
things that you can’t get over and then need to kind of like be fought out but
overall for the small things choose your battles okay number four this is a huge
one marriage needs to be over every single other relationship it needs to be
your number one priority over your family over your friends over yourselves
the marriage is the thing that is going to bring your life board it is very
important that you care for the other people in your spouse’s life like their
family and their friends and you love them and
it is important but it’s more important that your marriage is the number one
priority in both of each other’s lives you need to put your marriage first over
everything over every relationship that you have because that’s the person
you’re spending your life with and that brings us to number five you need to
think of your spouse as your life partner they’re not just like your wife
or your husband there’s someone that you go through life with and you spend every
single day with them and your schedule your lives around each other you really
much so are don’t need to be attached at the hip
but you do spend a lot of time together and especially if you share everything
like Josh and I do we our lives are together and I think of things I think
of him as my life partner so for example when we’re arguing I asked myself is it
worth it to be upsetting my life partner like this like is it worth it or when I
want to do something really great for him
I want to shower him with all the love and the appreciation because he is my
life partner and he’s gonna be with me until the end so that’s just a mindset
shift that you should really make if you guys are married and what have a happy
marriage just six always put yourself in your
partner’s shoes this is crucial especially when it comes to arguments I
try to be very aware of how I’m making him feel it’s the same concept as treat
people the way you want to be treated you hear that when you’re young and it
can be really hard to forget when you’re married that you need to be doing the
same thing but truly like when you’re arguing about something you need to
treat someone the way you want to be treated don’t resolve to low blows don’t
call each other horrible names don’t tell each other you hate each other
because think about it from their point of view is that something you’re easily
gonna be able to get over is that something you could get over easily I
couldn’t so I would never say that to someone and especially my husband
my life-partner just think of things in their point of view if they want to hang
on with their friends and they’ve been hanging out with you every single
weekend think about it from their point of view like would I want to hang out
with my friends yeah I would like say okay then you know like their lives
although it very much revolves around you it’s not always about you it’s very
crucial that you keep that in mind number seven is always say I love you if
you’re the type of person that you don’t like to say I love you very often that’s
okay there’s nothing wrong with that but for me I love to say it all the time
like I want him to know that he is the most loved person in my life and so I
say it when we hang up the phone I say it when we’re sitting at the couch I say
it when we’re cuddling I say it before bed I say it all the time I shower him
with it he does the same thing for me and I really check in with his feelings
about once or twice a month I like to talk about us not just like in
a general way but in a deep way I like to talk about how happy he makes me and
how in love with him I am and I really need to make sure that he knows that he
is someone so special to me and that I will always put him first and that he
has me like through thick and thin I will always be there for him and I will
always be his rock and I always put him first in my life like I need to know
that he knows that I tell him that like once or twice a month and those words
can really make someone feel special and make them like be in love with their
relationship with you so always really try to check in with feelings once or
twice a month it’ll do a world of a difference number eight make up quickly
from fights this is very important because fights can drag on for days you
guys I know this do not let this happen this is the number one cause of people
getting divorced it’s from fights and fights can be about really silly things
or they can be about very serious things I understand the need for them but
learning how to end a fight as soon as possible is very important I tried a nip
it in the button the same thing we try to say love you I
don’t want to fight let’s give each other space it’s that easy and I know
it’s very hard when you want to defend yourself but that’s how you’re gonna be
fighting for hours it’s not worth it because that not only like tarnishes
that day but that tarnishes kind of the whole week and if you’re doing it all
the time every single day and fighting for hours that really is gonna really
have a hard effect on your marriage try to learn how to end it as soon as
possible if you need space if you’re that type of
person that you need to go calm down then do that learn things about yourself
so you guys can grow as a couple another thing we always make sure to do
is we always sleep in the same bed no matter what every single night if he is
in town and he can be with me we’re together at night every night that is
something very important to me sleeping is a very intimate time and there’s been
times that it definitely would have been easier for him to sleep at a friend’s
house or something like that but we just never do that it’s kind of our rule and
especially when we’re fighting we never sleep on the couch we never sleep apart
from each other even if were upset we try really hard to make things up before
we go to bed but sometimes you just need that sleep to like give yourself some
space I really recommend that you make the same fool because sleeping at night
is such an intimate time and I just really recommend every single night
sleep together if you can number nine if you share finances discuss important
things like if you’re planning on doing a huge purchase discuss it see how your
partner feels but ultimately you should have the freedom of whether or not you
can make that purchase so if you’re sharing finances that’s very important
in my opinion is to not feel like you’re asking your father but to feel like
you’re asking your partner what they think number 10 and find things to do
together that you both love this is a great time to spend quality time
together you guys can go on walks with your dog
every night just make like a daily habit of something you guys do together that
you guys both love and then it’ll bring you guys a lot of quality time and it’s
just something that’s special between you two number 11 take the other
person’s opinions very seriously if someone in your relationship has a very
strong opinion on something but you don’t feel the same way it doesn’t
matter if you don’t feel the same way if they feel something you need to take it
seriously and this is really important so that your other person feels like
they matter in the relationship they need to feel like they have some sort of
say in order for you guys both to feel like you have a say in marriage in that
it’s not one person running everything you guys both need to feel like you’re
equally being able to put in opinions and put in advice and to kind of so that
you guys both can be shaping your life not just one person shaping it that’s
very important and if you’re a very outspoken person that can be difficult
but you just need to take a step back and realize you’re not the only person
in this relationship and number 12 we’re gonna end it with appreciation
appreciation in a marriage can make or break it I swear you guys appreciation
is everything tell us someone you appreciate them going grocery shopping
for you them putting out the garbage cleaning the house or the apartment
making the bed or just appreciating going to work every day appreciating
working hard appreciating going to school that is so important feeling
appreciated by your spouse will make a marriage give compliments as much as you
can tell your partner how happy you are about how they work hard every day that
is the only thing that is going to make them feel like inclined and motivated to
keep working hard when they get appreciated and they get validated for
what they know they’re doing then it makes them want to just keep helping out
and this is just really important so I really recommend all
appreciate find something every day at least once I would do it two or three
times at least a day to appreciate it makes them feel good and it makes you
feel good for even saying it so make that a part of your daily habits and you
guys will really have a great and happy marriage together okay you guys that is
it I know that was a lot but marriage is a lot and it’s something that you can
never have too much advice for another thing that to keep in mind is while yes
I did give you all this advice you know your marriage better than anyone else
don’t ever compare your marriage with someone else everyone’s just trying to
do their best think about what’s gonna make you guys work and what’s not gonna
make you guys work my advice isn’t gonna work for everyone it works for me but I
think if you at least choose that some tips here and there it really will make
your marriage like incredible and I’m so happy and I just want everyone else to
feel so happy I want you to realize that being married young can be so amazing
and you guys can make it work you might have to do a little bit of research like
watch videos like this but if you’re being mindful about the type of energy
you’re putting out in your relationship and the type of knowledge you’re taking
in and what you can get back to your partner you guys will have an amazing
relationship bye guys there’s so much fun hanging out with you that is it I am
done I hope you got a lot of value out of this video I hope to make so many
more videos like this please hit subscribe if you’d like to tune in and
get notified every single week with a new video that’ll help you develop
yourselves further and help you develop life skills and different mentality
shifts that you need to make as you grow into adulthood and yeah thanks for
hanging out you guys these comment down below if you have any questions about
your marriage any questions about my advice if you want to talk to me about
your situation I would love a private email from you
I think really I’d really love to give you my advice and thank you so much for
giving me your time today so have a great day and see you Friday

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Comments

  1. Wow so many wise and wonderful tips. Thanks so much for making this channel Alyssia! From the moment I met you I admired your maturity, life experiences and kindness. Keep it up girl! You rock 🙂 Liked and subscribed!

  2. Really Good Advice 👍🏻
    Keep posting this type of positive advices. Thanks for sharing.
    New Subbie here to support you, hope you'll support me back too.
    Thanks 😊🌟☮️

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