Nick Swardson’s Craziest Party Story | PARTY LEGENDS


NICK SWARDSON: Hey this is Nick
Swardson, and this is probably the craziest
party that I remember from my childhood. I was 14 years old and I hung
out with a lot of the shady and the shady crowd. We had Starter jackets
and silver chains and hats on sideways. So there was this one kid who
was like extra shitty. He was crashing in this
abandoned house– like super old, like the
yard was all cruddy. One night we’re like, let’s just
fucking break in there and like we’ll throw
a big-ass party. So we go into this place,
we get a fucking bunch of bottles of booze. And we’re partying and we’re
boozing, we’re just pounding vodka, whatever the hell we
can get our hands on. Anything that was breakable,
we would break. We would break light bulbs,
threw the bathtub down the stairs, we were graffiti-ing So
we just totally decimated this house. And then everybody was like
starting to pass out. So this kid decides to go up on
the top floor and throw a Molotov cocktail. So he lights a Molotov
cocktail, throws it against the wall. Of course has no plan on how
to put the fucking fire out that he just set. So he ran downstairs and was
screaming, and we were all like hung over and fucking
fucked up. He was like, we got to get
the fuck out of here. So we all escape out
of this house, and it’s totally torched. The next day there was cops
everywhere just around the neighborhood. We looked out the window, we
were smoking weed which made it even more paranoid. And I turned to my buddy, I go,
we got to get the fuck out of here, man. The cops are going to come,
they’re going to find us. So I took off my Starter jacket,
I took off my chains, took off my hat. I put on a Polo shirt that I
found in his closet and I put on these tiny little
tennis shorts. And I grabbed a tennis racquet,
and I walked out the back of his door and walked in
through this whole sea of police and they’re all
staring at me. I’m walking with my tennis
racquet, and I look like this nice kid from the ’80s. The city bus pulls up and I jump
on it and I take it home like 10 blocks to my house. And I called my friend and I
was like, I made it home. And just as I talked to him on
the phone, the cops broke in the door and they were
all arrested. I was the only one
that got away. Yep.

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Comments

  1. Yes, and following that logic, I guess you were a nerd if you hadn't contracted aids, hepatitis B and all the others by the age of 15, right?

  2. My story: Went to a party. Got drunk. Cops came by. I stole somebody's truck, no idea who, the cops came after me on this old dirt road. I look over and my boy Chris is sitting next to me, smokin a joint like nothing is wrong. He says if we are going to jail, hes gonna get high first. so he holds the joint for me so I can drive. we ditch the car on the side of the road, jumped a barb wire fence, and just ran for about 3 miles with the cops on our asses. we came back into town, jumped in one of the rain water drain offs. you know, the ones that are like 30 ft tall? ran about 5 minutes into that and just sat there. turns out we were two blocks from my house so we went there, blazed up, passed out. Next morning we find out that there was a drug bust on that house. apparently dude was cooking meth in the basement and somebody at the party called the po without saying anything. apparently he was a vet from the first Iraq war back in 1991. he had a surplus of grenades, claymores, and rifles with ammo…… So from that day on we only drink at my house with maybe 4 people.

  3. "so there was like thsi one kid who was like extra shitty" HAHAHHA Idk why but that was hilarious, we all had those shitty high school friends that we look back on now and ask why in the Hell we hung out with them

  4. this one chick from high school threw a party, and like the whole school got word of it, so my buddies and I showed up around 7-8, like as soon as we got our drinks, but by the time we got there, smoke was coming form the house, cops were everywhere and the chick was having a mental break down LOL half the class of gr 10 showed up LOL i could remember everyone in the living room jumping at once to make the floor cave in :|….was wild, i got the fuck outta there. i managed to grab a backpack FULL of booze while every ones was pissing their pants XD that house got rekt!

  5. My friends and I got fucked up and completely trashed a hotel room at the hotel I worked at. We also stole everything in the room that wasn't tied down, including the tv that was actually bolted down. When I got to work the next day, a cop was waiting for me. I made up a totally lame story about how it was some guy from a town over and I only knew his first name. You could tell he didn't believe me, but also didn't care. He said tell the guy to have everything back here by Monday or you're going to jail. We brought everything back and I somehow kept my job… Joke was on me though because it was a sucky job…

  6. A 30 year arson suspect nick swardson was apprehended today at his Hollywood home after confessing to the crime on YouTube

  7. what a fucking prick… typical story of a white douche with no values that ruins the fucking moment… and he's an adult and think it's cool…

  8. I had a similar story, except I was in a police pursuit in a stolen vehicle. I changed my clothes after the wreck and walked past all the cops

  9. Smart funny man.
    I love that tennis racket wear, live on brother. Comedy rules, thank you for making us laugh. Ps keep up the humor. THANK YOU.

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