Open Relationships – Polyamory or Marriage – What is it for?

O.K. very good. We got a good starting point. For everything you want to……. look at. I think some of the key points… of the key points to, was the idea off not just being bound and limited by the programming. You have to be in touch with what the programming is. But, since this is a world of projection……… then.. often times it’s a false setting of the mind… in terms of relationships, is that…… it just….projects the meaning onto ….. the world. Everything it believes is good and right. And the way things should be gets projected onto the world. And more specifically…… if there’s a group of us….. . that seem to be….working together on the same goal for healing….. and spiritual awakening, and self realization. Then it gets projected onto the community. So people… can seem to have hesitations about relationship. Hesitations about affection….. hesitations about……… how they are to go about their, their day. What are their do’s and the don’ts. What are the rules? That’s very typical. But, it’s part of the whole conditioning……….of……….of…….. being human, or believing you’re human. Cause that goes on in childhood. Where you…… you look at it often times in these kind of videos, It will be as if we have to, like Teal says, We have to look at the way we raise children But the way the children seem to be raised, are a projection of the mind. So, the mind believes certain things and then the parents and the children just act out the beliefs. Nobody’s ever victimized by what happens … in childhood. That’s like transcending that old psychoanalytic model of….. Oh, what happened during this time in your childhood, or what happened at this time, or this year. Traumatic experiences. As if their causitive. But events and circumstances and situations are never causitive . They’re all projections. So, as we start to understand that everything in the world, everything in the community, Everything that goes on in this sanctuary, everything that goes on in…. in AC’s kitchen, is a projection. as though, that gets acted out. If things, plates and crumbs get left behind and the AC comes with I’m not your mother… Uh, she’s…. withdrawing away from the belief that…..that she’s playing some kind of a role. Over other people. and I just say facetiously AC’s kitchen ; cuz she
doesn’t have ownership over it, she volunteered. She’s doing it out of love and Steward, she’s like a steward of the kitchen. and that’s what we’re practicing with. With roles. Uh, we have roles in the community, And even with relationship roles, you know it’s seen as… Theyre opportunities, they’re gifts for getting in touch with what is going on in the mind. Teal mentioned that, she said that from a spiritual perspective, that’s the highest spiritual ideal. Is that relationships are mirrors. And we talk about that all the time, all the time. In Holy Relationship videos and even in that parenting and…….children video. This mirroring, mirroring, and mirroring I was at a farm….on a sunny week-end in rural Sweden and we talked about mirroring and that seemed to be helpful for the mind that was identified as being a parent and all the guilt about doing it right or not doing it good enough, to start to say, Oh what are they mirroring back to me? Oh, that’s a nice way to look at this, it’s very helpful. Instead of sticking to these roles and feeling I’m not fulfilling the roles, I’m not doing it good enough. It’s a lot of guilt. So, I think, yeah watching this and what we talk’s all about.. kind of releasing the past, And releasing the roles and coming into trust, coming into guidance, coming into spontaneity And letting that be at the forefront…and maybe just beginning to expose programming and beliefs about what I believe relationships are this or I believe this relationship is better than that relationship. Or, I notice.hmm, there’s a tendency in my mind… to judge….. certain things about relationships. Good or bad, right or wrong. To start to project…..programming and beliefs out on to other people…. and to yourself as a body, and to the community. Umm, that’s happened with a lot of communities, too where… you know….. of course here in Utah…. uhh, poligamy you know, there,.. there’s certain beliefs that gets projected, or gets like acted out. But, they’re still projected. They’re still just beliefs in the mind. And we’re here to expose beliefs. We’re not here to juuudge…people or judge things, execpt their external to our mind. We’re here to see, ohh, I’m just seeing what I’m believing. So, we have a strong focus… we have a strong focus in healing. I’d say, in one sense it’s…. it’s almost like…..a huge,…. huge gift .. to have a teaching like A Course in Miracles. From an actual Awakened Mind. Not just… you know……. just an aside or something…….that somebody projects. But,…..but the actual experience of… Oh, I been through the key hole…. and umm, … it’s wonderful. The Light is wonderful. It’s good to open up. You don’t even have to come to the idea of positive reasons or negative reasons for things. Really, we’re looking at what’s the purpose. The purpose …. is… .. is everything. I did like when she was talking on the final video, where she said, instead of….. us… trying to…force ourselves to find some kind of agreement…… that they, …..she basically was advocating…….. instead of trying to look for all the positive reasons for something….. or for forcing an areement, we’re, we started to look at our woundedness, and really..that’s….. that’s the path of…. A Course in Miracles. That’s the path we’re taking, too. Look… at the darkness. The more you look at…… the belief, the more you look at the errors… the less you see of it. Meaning, the more you look at..the more you expose.. the darkness and the falsity, the less you’ll see of the perception. Cause by looking at it..with the Holy Spirit and seeing the nothingness… of the darkness … then you don’t… see it reflected anymore. You literally don’t……. the entire world shifts and changes. And she hinted at that, you know where she was talking about…. if you’re, you know…… polyamorous and you…ahhh………. have a resistance.. to marriage… you have to take a look… at….what you’re judging against. If you… Ohh, marriage, occupies very negative attitudes … about marriage. They’ll use sterotypes. Like the ball and chain. You know, and that is a reference to marriage, then it’s clearly seen as a negative thing. And there must be something,.. maybe a fear of commitment, maybe a fear of intimacy, maybe a fear of.. of..of a fear of deep connectedness that’s going on in the mind. And then, the ball and chain. Also, she mentioned about the idea of…of.. autonomy…. always being of the ego. And this idea that…uhh….. by… by just switching partners, switching, switching, switching.. It can be very much an escapism. It’s even interesting in the literature surrounding the Course in Miracles, Where at one point in the dictation, Jesus would take time out to talk to Helen and Bill, and basically, he told them both… that they picked they’re life partners……… to avoid intimacy. That’s …. pretty amazing. They picked they’re life partners to avoid intimacy. So, Helen picked Louie……umm to avoid intimacy. And all… kiiiinds of things came out in that dictation of Jesus working with Helen and Bill. There was even a point where….. where Helen decided to …….. change …. Louie’s name. Because, she felt he was such a sinner… he’d done so many things wrong, that he would never make it to Heaven. So, she thought that by changing his name from Louie to Johnathon he’d have a better chance…. of getting in. That’s the very funny little ancedote from….. working with the Course material. But to change someone’s name to think they’ll have a better chance of making it back home. That’s a name subsitution. But, what often happens……. that’s there’s partner subsitutions. Or, even… picking a partner out of …… a false sense of lack and guilt, and really a fear of love. And then having a partner come in…. that’s just……… it’s part of ….. reenacting that. Cause I know we”ve done that. All of us can probably look back at relationships we’ve had… And we went… Aww, this is really intense and DARK. And it was…like we could only say, why, I must’ve been afraid of the intimacy, afraid of the love… to have projected out and had that enacted out…. in these characters clashing and doing WIILD, crazy things to each other and so on and so forth. We can start to see, I must not of valued my own being, my own love, my own worth. To have projected out something like that. So, in practical terms, again it all comes back to the mind watching, it all comes back to what’s the purpose and everything. But, certainly in our community, we have never tried to steer people toward something or away from something. We’ve had, ahh marriages in the community, there’s been relationships in the community. They’ve been called many different names. Teal always reminds me of the word assignments. There’s been assignments, that was a term that was used early on. Like, oh, relationship assignments. Like a, almost like a reflection of a classroom of the mind. For a lot of marrying going on for a period of time Jesus has three levels of relationship that he mentions in the Manual for teachers. Casual encounters. Like two people.. meeting in an elevator, or on the street or something. He talks about, then there’s the teaching/learning opportunities that exist…. for a period of time… in which the two then appear to separate. And there’s life long relationships. And a lot of people in our community have felt that there’s something to this life long thing that perhaps…. this could even be part of a configuration that could be a life long thing. You know, Frances one time said she received the sense that she would be a life long companion with me… implying that regardless of how the form of things would look. That this would be something…that people were brought together, and those things do happen. We see there’s examples of it, but even if you look with A Course in Miracles…. even though… Helen and Bill had their collaborative time. And then, they did travel a little bit. That actually, before that… kind of came together as part of the bringing the, the stewarding of the Course, Helen and Bill and Ken Wapnick and Judy, you know, they basically during their life times remained friends. And, so they now even with Roy Whitson coming in and marrying Judy. He’s still alive. And, Bob Skutch, her first husband, both William and Bob have been very important in the publishing of the Course into twenty three different languages. And, William and Judy are still married. Eighty four years old and eighty seven. And, there’s Bob right there along side the three of them and he’s ninety. So, anybody tells you two’s company and threes a crowd, well these three have been going at this…. translating, publishing the book, working together collaborating and they’re ranging from eighty four to ninety. So, that’s an example , you could say of a life long relationship. They also, were brouht together for a purpose. They probably… you could say, maybe woudn’t have had much in common at all without the Course. The Course is what they made a life long commitment to. And it’s been used for a very high purpose. And so, even though Teal ends up by saying, you know you may change what you want, you may change what you desire,… you don’t know what that will be like in the future, there are some configurations that do seem to be what we would call life long. And, because they’re serving a purpose. Not that they mean anything specifically or specially…. because bodies just don’t …mean anything in the end. You know, you can’t even talk about life times in the end, when we’re going into an experience of Love and Light. That transcends the body entirely. So, what I think’s important is, we just continue our open discussions…. and we start to realize again, that everything we perceive is what we believe. We take responsibility for our state of mind. And we don’t try to just let these beliefs and thoughts about relationships….. and so forth, be a determiner of holding back from expanding. You know, she said, marriage vows should be until it finishes you in part. Which is kind of funney, because you know, it still has the parts in the end. Until expansion, do we realize our Oneness. May be… our wedding vow, or our purpose, to keep expanding in consciousness… To keep opening our perception wider and wider, to keep seeing the big picture until, even the big picture disappears. Then, only Love and Light remain. That’s maybe a way of verbalizing, you know of what we’re about. But, also not having these concerns and guilt around the form of relationships. Because, I would say it’s the guidance that’s always the most important thing. It’s the guidance from the Spirit… Holy Spirit that is most important and not the form. Even though this is a world based on the importance of form There would be no tabloids, there would be no writing in newspapers, who’s with who? You know, you see it all the time. Who’s,.. who got married? So and so got off on they’re private wedding, and now they’re announcing it to the press. They didn’t want the press there. But, you know it’s like part of the daily columns of who’s with who, who’s with who. Over the years, you know even when I would travel and wanted us to come and talk to people about forgiveness…… and have really good deep heart to heart conversations with them. Often times people I would meet with were more curious of who’s with who Who I was with, or who such and such was with, tell me about so and so , what are they doing? Are they still together? Did they break up? You know, it’s just this incessant curiousity about form and specifics. Which in the end, we have to realize if we leave that over to guidance then we’re just flowing with the Spirit,… and letting the Spirit orchestrate the form and use the form for our greater good. Teal also mentioned the lot of reasons, she’s used like historical evolutionary perspective about, you know….. eleven thousand years ago you know, we shifted from being more wandering nomads. And, hunting, gatherings and farming, and then , once we started farming…. then, we started to work the land and then we got into property. No, actually if you go back to ego is what property is all about. The ego is about ownership and that’s been there all along. It was there even during those hunting and gatherings. Going around staabing an animal and roasting it and eating it. You know, there was some ownership and some possession and some kill or be killed and survival and lack and everything going on there. So, this ego belief system has been underneath everything that seems to… it’s all about history. Jesus even tells us history woudn’t even exist if you didn’t keep making the same mistake in the present. Well, that’s good to know. You don’t hear that every day. Our mothers and dads didn’t tell us at the dinner table, drink your koolaid and finish your peas…. and history wouldn’t exist if you didn’t keep making the same mistake. You know, we were not AWARE of the ego so fully, we were not aware of this wrong mindedness.. of this false way of looking at the world. That’s very strange. As we become more aware of those things may still enter your mind. You know, a lot of times people who are part of communities….. if they see a value in the community and they see a helpfulness in the community…. they may still divide the community off from the world. So then it becomes like they have, haave to stay in the community. Like it’s a danger to go out. Almost like the movie, The Island. Like where everything’s contaminated or told. Everything’s contaminated, so stay safe…… yeah, it’s safe inside here because out there is contamination. And, that’s, we’ve seen comminities where if you leave the community, you’re a bad one. Right. And that kind of… almost shaming. We are the elite and the good ones. You know, that’s crazy ego use of community symbols, which we really try to expose. The ultimate reason of exposing is having the experience like what Suzanne had. Where she went to visit her biological family and , was it you little niece was, Emmanuel, Emmanuel….. took off her clothes and was running around naked and so on and so forth. You know and the context of those kind of things… you know that’s when you feel the sameness… With whoever you’re with and whatever they’re doing, and if the little girl’s running around naked, then it’s not then, it’s not a sense of judgement. It’s like, just smiles on the faces not frowns. Our cat, sweetie runs around naked everyday. Nobody’s dressed him up. But, you have to see that ultimately it’s about being so much in purpose. And, the purpose of community is to bring the darkness to the light. It’s not about trying to fix the form, control the form. She did bring up that even in polamory… communities or core situations with polyamory… she said it’s going to force the ego out of this position of control, cause the ego wants to control the environment. And when you have communities or when you have people sharing love and maybe not with sexual polamory…. but, with what she called emotional or even verges of romantic.. gift giving or laying together or having a massage or doing all kinds of expressive things. Still the ego is underneath if there is a sense of wanting to control situations. And, control results in expectations. And expectations that seem to be violated is like what she would call violating bournaries. Maybe there not even known boundaries. You’re going along and all of a sudden someone says or does something and it’s like you feel a contraction. Like, that’s it. You’ve walked over the line. That’s the last straw, I’m not gonna go for that. But, you weren’t even aware that there was a boundary there until some interpretation of an action or a behavior kind of brought it up into your awareness. What we’re saying is we’re wanting those interpretations to be raised up into awareness. So, in that sense we’re welcoming the raising of darkness, so that nothing is kept hidden. So, that there can be a consistent experience of happiness. That’s our framework for everything. But, I don’t want people having the sense of a pre-judgement of about…about the community. As if the community supports one form over another. Because, how do you evolve, how do you give it over fluidly to the Holy Spirit if you already set the rules? Of course, communities have rules, because there’s fear underneath. And, Jesus says in the Course, the ego believes that without judgement all would be chaos. Without rules all would be chaos. And Jesus says without judgement all would be love. That’s two different perspectives. One requires, is calling for trust, that if we open all the way to love and we expose all the darkness, then all will be love. And the ego is saying, no, you gotta have rules. And you’ll forever have rules. You’ll die with rules. And there’s rules even in hell. You know, and it’s all about judgement. Cause, that’s what perpetuates the guilt and perpetuates the ego. We don’t take dramatic stands even on what are called physical symptoms. You know, where we don’t have rules about magic or operations or anything. It’s always a focus on mind training and healing this… exposing this guilt. Like for example, years ago when Lisa and I were in Loveland, Ohio. We went to visit our friend, Doug Costle and he was very concerned about our community and future. He’s a church consultant. He said what are you gonna do when your community grows old and gets sick. How are you gonna provide for the bodies? You know, that’s a common thing for most human beings. Health care, future health care, thinking of nursing homes and so forth. I think we said something like, oh, really, that’s not really our focus. We’re so focused on present healing… that we don’t spend a lot of time talking about what’s gonna happen, ten, or fifteen or twenty years down the road. But, we did have, you know recently with our dear friend Lila who is very much a part of our community. Going through this, you know.. the liver and the growth, and the bio and all the different things. And, we approached that from a focus on healing of the mind. Now it was very much that… Kirsten was a part of that, Sarah was a big part of that, Nakita was a big part of that It was a focus on opening and healing. And then,… more recently Suzanne had a lot of contact and of course Lila came right here. and that’s been,.. it’s very much us sticking with our core values. Then, it’s healing in the mind that’s what’s important. That’s what awakening’s all about. It’s healing in the mind. So, we still dealt with the specifics, of a plane flight, of people to go and stay with her and help her… move around, do her things, but all within the context of mirroring, all within the context of mind training. And, so we don’t… reeaally have all these programmed things about… this is the way it has to be. Even about relationships. You know, recently…. with…… with Eric and….. actually Kristen…. they just begun exploring… their feelings.. and opening into this and that’s just been in the recent days, where that started to open up. But, it’s all so beautiful that’s it’s being talked about openingly in expression sessions. So, it’s not like a private matter. We once had a , like a huge advance… even we could see Teal talking there and struggling with her marriage. And, say, well it can be messy and they can butt heads and all these different things. But, it .. that was even around privacy. Where as, we’ve got the mechanics going already. Then, I mentioned that just before this on a call with… Kirsten and Frances… they smiled, they were laughing, Ohh that’s wonderful, wonderful. They just looved to hear the idea of what seemed to be a budding, new relationship in the community… being talked about so openingly and freely…. uh, right here.. in expression sessions in the sanctuary. So, that’s for us, I think our key values starting to transfer. Where as, we don’t compartmentalize things and say, well this is just this and this should be…. taken away and solved, and that should be taken away and solved. It’s more reflecting that bring everything, bring all your problems to the Holy Instant. To open communication, to trust and watch them vanish. So, I’m just interested in… yeah, everybody we watched it….. did it bring up anything? Were there questions that arose, were there emotions that arose… from it? Were there any fears that arose? Like, woo, oh,oh , like this, there’s something big there. Uhh, you know, this morning, after Suzanne had just left to go to the monastery…. then I met with…. Lisa and Michael, they have their own…. chemistry that kind of ignited today. and then, the giddiness, the giddiness, spilled over into the Sunday service… You know, I was thinking of how beautiful it is, because I feel like.. even like, at this, whatever that this happening here…. it’s like shared. Like, when I was just looking at you, I feel like it’s not this separate thing, like we’re all…. in it together, and how… you know, I think that the fear is cause I was in think that…. fear when you start a relationship, always like you gotta figure it out, or… like it’s all new, or it’s scary or what ever….. and, it’s like, really precious, because like we’re, you know it’s like this real beautiful thing that we’re sharing in. Just in the mind. But, yeah….. it’s really…. new. Something new. And also, just the healing that that brings. I heard there was a lot ofstuff like that. Where a lot of things that were brought up this morning… in the expression session. Maybe it was false value….. or what ever. Just this really.. keep up the expansion, to bring up this ….. so yeah, I feel like it’s really purposeful. Yeah, it’s great, but, the idea of, we don’t see community as like a set concrete boundary. So, even the stuff about being in the community or out of the community, it starts to just dissolve away in purpose. What is the purpose for my entire perception? Whether it’s the purpose for the world, when it’s the purpose for the dream. It’s huge. And it takes the pressure off of trying to.. put the commitments…. and put the focus on the form and taking it back to the mind. That’s amazing thing, when you can start to lift everything up to the mind. Like, ohh, what is this for? Does this feel supportive of my joy, my happiness, my expansion? Will it support me…. or will it hinder me? Is it based on an opening…. and a giddiness, and a joy in the heart, or is there a contraction… like, ohh I need to do this, I should, I ought to, I have to. Is there a people pleasing component to it. You know, we want to expose that. So that we don’t… ever have to hold on to those thoughts or beliefs. And, start to see that they don’t serve. That’s beautiful that that can be that way. And, I think umm, yeah, the other idea is too, that she was making the point about how….. monogamy, or being single, or polyamory… you know, of not thinking that there’s a specific spiritual advantage in one over the other. I think that, traditionally you know, that a lot of spirituality, when we look at monks and nuns, and so on and so forth… there was a specific focus on a particular form. And, certainly when people make contrasting.. you know, polyamore …. polyamory…….. and monagomy… they… it will be, again one of those things where people will try to come out and say one is better than the other. She was just making the point that it’s really the purpose that’s underneath, it’s what is it for. It’s not the form. Then it goes nowhere when you try to take one form and juxtapose it over another. That’s morality. But, she did point out, like Jesus says in the Course, that there is no universal morality. There’s no universal agreement. If you study all the cultures, and all the different moral points of view…. you’ll find there’s great contrast. And, there’s no universal agreement. So, I think it’s.. good to stay open. I was saying that next year, two thousand sixteen could be a year of surprises. But, that, you should be welcoming of that… it’s almost, oohh look at that, it’s a surprise. Like, that’s a surprise. You know, surprise can be an opportunity for healing. It doesn’t mean, have to be an opportunity for judgement or distancing, it can be… oh, wow… that’s interesting. And , it comes down to expectations. We deal with people, we’ve done so many gatherings in so many countries. We’ve had hosts, We’ve had all these collaborations with people. Even now with the solar people in Mexico and up here, with solar up here and down there… with the electric company there with moon lake here and solarud and down there, they’ve got matts and they’ve got the utility group,.. we get… it comes down to releasing expectations.. and trusting the greater evolution and expansion that’s happening. Instead of trying to zero in on a specific thing. That would project it out as if there’s an external problem. Oh, this one’s gotta problem, or that one’s gotta problem, or they cheated us, or da,da,da,da,da. Those are just conclusions. When we want to have much more faith and come back and say… no, it’s all working together for the good. It’s all lifting us all higher and higher. Into this state of unification and oneness, non judgement. It’s a different perspective. We’re not complaining about anything. I mean, I thought it was kind of novel to hear about what’s happened with all the crossed wires. It’s hmmm, well what do you know about that. The wires were crossed. You know, cause there was a lot of questions,.. like, why are we being charged so much? And, we’ll get solar and we’ll do this, this and this. And even higher, with solar. What the….. oh, the wires were crossed. So, then……….. Hi, Geoff. Hi. So, yeah. We’re interested in using that anything that came up or any kind of things…… did you have a chance to see the videos at all? or…no… nope…no No, we just finished the…. around you. Okay alright….. we’ve one step to share…… It was about.. polyamory? Polyamory? Yeah. Much laughter. You watched polyamory…. Yeah! and marriage. Did you say polyanne, or polyanna? polyamory. Yeah, not polyanna, polyamory. Yeah, we were looking at… those were what our videos were about. Polyamory, marriage and then practical issues and applications. For dealing with those. In fact when I was … visiting with Michael the other day he was saying….. well, Teal brought up, she brought up emotional polyamory, romantic polyamory and sexual polyamory. And he says, what is this romantic polyamory? So, we talked a litttle bit about what romantic polyamory would be. Cause she didn’t go into a lot of detail in terms of maybe…… She did say that she felt that every… that the human race was evolving more towards polyamory. Of conscious polyamory she called it. It’s like a value. Where, it’s because it’s in an inclusive love, it’s not an exclusive love. And she’s saying that you can’t rush that evolution, you can’t try to leap frog and jump or anything. But, certainly that’s the point of all our discussions, cause we realize that our beliefs determine our seeming decisions in this world. So, we’re all about clearing the beliefs. So that our one remaining belief can be forgiveness. And, all of our decisions can flow from…..Atonement. From the Atonement principle. So, but I always liked in terms of practicality what…. what you saw, what you felt…. your hesitations or… I think for me, ahh, like yesterday was such a profound experience. Because, I could never understand what the Course was talking about, about the sameness. And you would love everybody the same. I just.. I could never grasp what would be inspiring about that. Or, what would be sparkly about that. And so, yesterday when I had that experience…. right to when I went to bed, and it was like…. I saaw that this polamory and all this stuff is just like taking the mind higher and higher…. into … into that experience. It’s not really about the form at all. And that’s why I like it, it’s so highly individualized. Because, it’s all just a washing…. around the personal perspective of things. To take us into… into that. Where everthing is the same, but not where there’s any sacrifice in that. And, I think it was sooo obvious in my experience yesterday, cause I’m just so used to being here, you know. And, uhh, to seeminly step outside. But, I really wasn’t stepping outside the mind. And, they’re the same, and, you know and their like, I asked Nikela and said, you want to come and rest with me,… I just held her and jus, just felt soo, soooooo restful and so beautiful, and so,.. I guess I’m… I see how everythilng is just with this shared intention of this deep purpose. It’s like, it’s all being used for that, so, it’s great if it’s not a cookie cutter. You know , one way for you is, you know, the way it needs to be for everybody. It’s like, it’s highly individualized. And, it’s like the Spirit knows exactly what we need. If that’s our… if that is our focus in our mind, is that deep prayer of Divine Union. Then everything will take us into that if that’s out front, you know. And, I just, I know I guess for the first time I had something seemingly to compare it with and it was the same. And, it felt very profound, like, WOW there really is no sacrifice in loving everybody the same. And however that plays out in the moment is, it’s really pretty irrelevant to that point. Right? It’s like…. so it’s not even the thought about what’s gonna happen or how’s this gonna play out. Because, you’re just kind of grounded in that, so. I just wanna nurture that. So, wow that’s I had no idea. I could never understand the whole sameness thing. What, and the formlessness, you know letting go of that idea of form. And then having those deep experiences while, whoa, nothing compares to.. no form no matter how good it is… compares to that experience of Divine Love. Yeah, it’s like the world’s backward and upside down with the ego. So, from that backwards and upside down perspective, it’s .. it seems like two people coming together or… two people partnering up can… if it’s seen just an event in and of itself… which is often what a marriage or the beginning of a new relationship is seen as, it has a very positive connotation. That’s why people generally go to.. to throw rice and wear white and whatever, and… cut cakes and to celebrate a marriage. They don’t go and bring handkerchiefs and cry, unless, you know you are the one left out of the bride and groom. And, you’re love of your life is getting married to somebody else, then you may come and cry. But, mostly, they’re generally celebrations, but that’s in the backwards and upside down world. And , then when we start to see nothing is what it seems, which is our own watching and opening little clip. Nothing you see is as it seems. Reminding us that everything’s distorted. Then, you start to realize, wow, the only purpose of seeming partnerships or abberrations and projects or anything is the undoing of guilt. Or, I will say, the undoing of the belief in linear time. That that could literally be like a partnership vow or marriage vow. Like, I join together with you for the undoing of linear time in my mind. Which seems absurd, would be if you ever saw that kind of a vow. They would go, wow, we got two wackos there. Can’t even talk about, I love you and I’ll commit to… til death do we part. And, I’ll love you forever, it’s like I’m here to undo… my belief in linear time. Which brings you right into true love. Right, well you definitely are joining in forgiveness, if you’re joining… into that opening…..yeah. Into seeing it’s all simultaneous. So, I would say we’re kind of on the cutting edge here, cause you know…. what she’s calling sensual community, you know, we’re going beyond you know, sharing resources…. and, like she was saying, you know if you have more people contributing and it’s more supportive, there’s more love to go round, yeh, yeh, yeh….. that’s all,…. now we’re starting to get into the undoing of linear time. Which we consciously talk about. But, you can only imagine with… Kamas or the monastery or … different places. We have Mexico or this and that and manages more as you go into that that the very concept of partnership will undergo tremendous transformation. Because as you start to let go of the belief in linear time, the idea of… she was even saying the idea of coupling when you get to higher and higher states of consciousness starts to lose meaning. Not that it was ever good or bad. It’s like Her, the movie, Her. yeah. Like the movie Her. That was a great demonstraion of her going more communication. More communication with Alan Watts, they bring in. Her communicating with Alan Watts, then multiple people…. That Her was, that’s why we probably all appreciated Her the movie. Because, we went, huh, that’s where this is all seeming to head. And, therefore that’s not surprising or it shouldn’t be too shocking. Because, there’s a part of the mind that’s going, hmm. So then, you would move toward momentary inspiration. And, already, you know…. even in recent years, we’ve just come together and we focused on… on projects. We even had a.. that period of time where we’re like… okay, we’re closing the circle. While just saying closing the circle brought up, hmm, a lot of stuff. Some people was like, I’m in the circle and I don’t wanna be, I wanna be outside the circle. And then, I someone was like..they closed the circle, why am I on the outside, it means, does that mean I can never get in? And, you know it brought up a lot of stuff. And so, and then we’ve gone along and we take our steps…. and we said, okay, we’re gonna get down and really focus on our purpose with our projects and our web sites… SCO and our publications and this and this and this. Well, that brought up a lot of stuff. In bubbling in the community, all kinds of emotions coming up, people leaving the community… The circle’s closing, or the shrinking of the circle. This is what the circle’s about. I want perfect. All this baloney in circle of support…. it’s like a noose. It’s a circle around my neck. It’s closing, can’t breathe, I gotta get out…. and, do somthing. You know, get away. But, see that’s all part of it, too. You know, it’s all just whatever’s happening is not causitive. It’s just looking at your reactions. And, for some that said, that’s not my cup of tea, then, like Teal would say, ohh very good then. Then , if this is my cup of tea, you may change your mind… she said many times a day. It is my cup of tea, no it’s not, yes it is, no it’s not. It seem very schizophrenic. Not knowing am I in, am I out, is this my life’s calling? Maybe not, you know, it just goes round and round and round. But, I think you know the most important thing is, is that there is healing… you can feeel it. You can see the heart opening up, you can feel the mind opening up through it all. And then, being in that place of acceptance, where whatever seems to be happening, you can feel like, ohh… I want to come to total acceptance, total contentment… that the world doesn’t … have a causitive factor in that contentment…. it’s just a reflection of my mind. Of my purpose in my mind. So, that’s beautiful. And that’s the saying is to, where it’s not boring at all. I like what you said about commitment, like until there’s truly a commitment made, no matter what it is…. then the acceleration can’t really occur. If you’re too busy.. like with that plan B in your mind… as subtle as it might be, it’s a distraction. It’s just to get completely committed. Yeah, and we’ve been talking about commitment here, too. Yeah. And then it.. It’s a component. It’s almost like that’s an ingredient that haas to be there in order to go through the eye of the needle. Yeah, I think, too even the idea of like this casual encounters versus… you know sustained relationships that seem to end… versus life long relationships. Even those, before Jesus goes into those three distinctions he basically, he’s basically saying it’s all the same. He starts off His whole teaching, it’s all the same. It’s almost like here I’ll give you something you can relate to. And He gets the three. But, He expresses by saying, you know it’s all the same. Cause it’s all, really all one mind. So, I think for all of us it’s like, it’s like coming to trust that…. it’s like where there’s a real strong sense of a guidance. And, still there can be open discussion about things….. but we’re… everyone is learning to be more in alignment with the Higher Power of guidance… The Holy Spirit. Everyone’s coming into that alignment. That’s something to be celebrated. And then to practice daily that’s what expression sessions are, that’s what our use of lunches are. That’s what our collaborative projects are all for that. Just to not see a problem. When the Holy Spirit is the Guide then there is no problem. When the ego is the guide then there will seem to be problems. Not that they’re real, but they’re in there in awareness. yeah. I’m glad just, truly enjoyed actually just to…. the things she was talking about, I could relate to like just in my life, like…. relationships. You know, I’ve been married before, like I got a legal marriage. And, I don’t know, I just feel like I’ve been mostly in…. it’s like, the only thing I can call it is unconscious relationships. Umm. I don’t know, you know just wanting safety or something. I don’t know. I didn’t even know what I wanted. But entering, it seemed some kind of vibrational connection and entering in right away in this kind of relationship. And, really not having any purpose for it at all. I think… I can’t see one right now, anyway. So, you know… now, like it feels really nice to have a purpose in a relationship and like…. umm, I don’t know… like growing bigger in it and feeling safer and.. I don’t know, I can just see the helpfulness of like…. a seeming exclusive relationship, like it feels sort of like there’s two people coming together with like an intention. Because, I think you know, right before I came into the community, I had this push away towards relationship. Like, oww you know, the Course terms, like this is special like this is not what I really need. But like, there’s a hopefulness to it in my mind because, I don’t know. And there’s like terror in my mind for true intimacy, so having one to feel it and just open up to.. feels really helpful in my mind. I don’t think I could really do it any other way right now. Cause, like polyamory, like intimacy was… lots of people…. I don’t know… I don’t even… tempt that at all. Cause it’s like it’s scary enough with just one. It’s not easy at all. Yeah, she made that point with one it’s a full time experience, can be very intense and then it seems to be more and more… also, inclined that there’s states of mind, and there’s levels of consciousness are possible. And leave things open and I know there’s people who work with the Course, there’s a lot of Course spin offs… and there’s lots of spiritual teachers. And there was.. I forget where it was, this one time and this woman came to me and she was quite disturbed. In the sense that she had gone to see this spiritual teacher and… she wasn’t with the spiritual teacher very long. Her and her husband, where the spiritual teacher said… now you two… want you to split up and ….. you’re gonna go with different partners and… it was a shock. Kind of a shock to her system. I think for most people there’s certain shared agreements. You can call them whatever you want. Shared agreements, sometimes, Teal call them boundaries and so forth. But, where she thought, she said that something that felt very straaange about that. And, uhh, she said .. we kind of went along with it, but it just seemed to bring up all kinds of strange feelings. And she was wanting to take responsibility for everything in her mind. But, also I think that was part of what came through, what Teal was sharing about. You know, there was like an honoring that has to go on if even polyamory is described as a choice between individuals in a conscious way. It’s very different from cheating. Infidelity there’s secrecy, there’s hiding, there’s going behind someone’s back and so on and so forth. She was emphasizing polyamory.. the consciousness, like it’s a conscious decision entered in. Even with that there can be a lot of emotions that would come up even if you made a conscious choice… there still could be a lot of emotions there. You’d almost think that there would be those things coming up. Cause it’s almost like there does seem to be a simpleness in monogamy. Where it’s not like, who’s gonna be in the bed or who’s gonna be this or this. There’s still putting it out, there’s still a bit of structure to it and there’s still a bit of form. But it’s something the mind is saying I can deal with this and accept this and this is what I can work with. And, I think more and more as you evolve beyond the limits of the belief in linear time… then… you won’t see people the same way, you won’t see situations the same way. You could just….. it would be like literally a dance, like leaves dancing in the wind. Where, you know there’s a sense of .. just a naturalness to the movement of all things. And, not an interpretation or a judgement of what this means. What does that mean? There’s so much stuff about people being together. Being together sexually, lying together. You know the world… even some of our uh…. our angel baths. I was doing… looking at … one was recorded, I think was in North Carolina that was a very intimate angel bath. And then there was one right out there in the monastery that’s on you tube. When people see it, it lights up the people’s faces and all the ecstasy and touching somebody’ll be going through. And somebody’ll go and go down on the ground and be touching the back of their legs, and you know… And, you know, it’s a very natural… for everyone there is probably just….. freaking everybody else out. Yeah, but it’s fun to see it on you tube, cause it’s.. like… ookaayy. And that’s also another aspect where she mentioned something.. like people can choose a monogamous life style. If it… at this time on the planet, if it benefits the whole. I gotta taste of that a little bit, cause I traveled around initially so much in the solo way. And then, when I started to have a travel partner and when I started to show up at these different houses, the people reacted differently. When this body was with another body, with a female body, it was like, ohh, come on in… staaay. Stay with us, and it was like a welcome, because it was more.. the idea of a man and a woman. That symbol was more socially acceptable. Like Teal just said, the societal norm is couples. And, you know and Jesus even takes that concept of couples and he says the ark of peace is entered two by two. It’s interesting words from Jesus in the Course, where we know that the ultimate state is the state of Pure Oneness. But, He’s saying, the ark of peace is entered two by two. The whole Course is written in the context of the symbology of relationships. Very different from meditation standards, and you know, and going off to live in remote places…. and very solitary journeys and even certain meditation practices of… you know…. don’t look at the opposite sex or this or that. I remember when Jenny first came over… to the United States, before she came to the peace house,.. she went up to that…. that…. oneness university up in Iowa, where, uh.. yoga’s thing or something…. yeah, where they have a lot of teachings where uhh… who’s the guy who was in the troops… Jim Carey gave his .. commen.. commencement.. graduation speach. And she went there and this was like a loooong traditiion in meditation and consciousness training and… so, they told her, you know do this but there’s certain ones that have been there for many years. They walk around and there’s certain men and their called certain… But, they’re not even supposed to be a woman that comes near them. You know, and Jenny went out wandering, cause they’re not supposed to have a woman walking near this group of men. You know, almost like that can be a distraction to them or something like this. Then, when she went into all the meditation training they had, they would ask her all these questions. And they would…they had colors to evaluate where you were. There was a lot of evaluation where you were. And she, and finally she felt a bit strange and she remembered that I had invited her to come to the peace house. So, she came and she said, ahh there were some really strange things. But, the initial draw was to this, this onesness in this meditation practice, which is very much a part of her life. It was just… some very strange things that she observed in her own mind. So, I think that’s, that’s another thing that’s it’s highly individualized. Like Suzanne was saying, and that also, we… it can be based on what serves the whole. Even with a group of people. You may have a group of people that end up living at the monastery or the peace house… or over at masterpiece or some place. That maybe they ARE ready for a polyamorous kind of experience. And that’s where their level of consciousness is and for them it flows well. For others… like you were saying, ohh, I can’t even imagine something like that. That’s not what’s in my realm right now, it’s intense enough with a monogamous relationship. It’s so, those are the kind of things that’s it’s a version of that A Course in Miracles workbook lesson: I will step back and let Him lead the way. There are many versions of that, as it plays out in the world of specifics. And, Jesus has never been one to avoid specifics. Where sometimes with Advaita Vedanta, you know, all is one, all is one, end of discussion. It’s just repetit..repetition of all is one, where Jesus is very much like, well, the ego made the specifics and … now we have to use what the ego made because you still believe in what the ego made. So, this…. you can say as many hail Mary’s as you want to and say all is one as many time as you want. But actually experientially, you know we’re gonna have to be honest with each other. And work on this, and the whole path of the Course is using, letting the Holy Spirit use the symbols to unwind the Mind back to God. In fact, we had this guy, Earl that just wrote into uhh, that Suzanne was telling me about and he’s been verry much into Buddhism…. He went to a talk by Gary Renard.. and he was just WOWed by the Course… And now he loves the Buddhism, he loves the Course, he loves retreats and… he may stop by, up in this area January, early January, very soon. Maybe come here for a visit and maybe come to the monastery… where ever you in sole room people out there and all this and that. But, it has to be like an honoring and a respectfulness and also, it comes back to the purpose. It’s how , how can anyone judge the form of anything? When it’s the purpose that makes it helpful. And the purpose is not something that’s out there. It comes back to, what is my purpose for this and who am I to judge? Who am I to judge anything, who am I to judge any form, who am I to judge any person, who am I to judge the motivations of others? You know, how is it that I could have a negative reaction to something that I’m told about form? Without it being coming from my own mind, my own consciousness. So, what business do I have of pointing the finger? And so, they told me that whenever you point the finger, you have three fingers pointing back, … one for the Father, one for the Son and one for the Holy Ghost. You have the Trinity all laughing at you every time you point the finger. What’re you doing? what’re you doing? That’s crazy. That’s not you, that’s not who you are. That’s not how you were created, You know, if you could remember that analogy every single time. And also, it takes lot of trust in that because the ego is sooo very, very suspicious of everything and everyone. It’s always painting a very suspicious picture of like, now uhh, what are they up to? You’re going along or floatin’ along, I thought we had it all settled here and then this. You know, like .. what are they up to, and you know, in the end you have to just be awaare of that suspicious voice… and be willing to expose it, everytime it rears it’s head up. In the Light of Love. And say, you’re given to save your brothers and sisters, hey, I need some help. I’ve had some crazy thouhts. And, but they’re there and so.. I think that’s the.. really truly we’re all polyam, what is it called? polyamorous, .. polyamorous emotionally… here, because if we’re not then we wouldn’t be here. Because , it’s all about exposing and I think that that’s a beautiful stepping stone. You know, a step. It’s like you open up your minds together so intimately here. But, of course we’re polyamorous here emotionally, you know, that’s, that starts to, for me anyway, it helped me to start to come into that…. experience of, it didn’t really matter if this body was with this body or that body. Or, I’m holding somebody one day or somebody else the next day. It loosens that up because it becomes secondary, right? Yeah, but that’s true, that we could definitely say that that’s the case in mind. And then as you go deeper and deeper into that…. I think the key point she made was that… that… well, the only time the drama comes in, the only time the conflict even seems to enter… is when there is a deeper question about self worth. Where she said, there will come a point in our evolution where it won’t matter about what the world’s seems to do or think. We’ll see that there’s no world outside. And it won’t matter about relationships. Because, our worth is not determined by relationships. She pointed out that from childhood on there’s so much dissents. Like, Sally Fields you know, at the oscars, they love me, holding her oscar, they love me, they like me, they really like me. And eveyone’s like, oohhh because it’s sooo ingrained, of being loved, of being liked, of being appreciated. And then when you get to a point where you start to.. you feel you’re worthless in your purpose. You’re worthless in your giving light and extending love and light and it grows stronger and stronger and stronger Then, those relationships lose their meaning. You can have somebody that’s been in your life for many years seemingly in form saying, bye, bye. You know like, ( P0P), I wish you well, I love you, I bless you. Instead of, YOU… HOW DARE YOU, you know, and you don’t even write and all this and, you know… all the expectations that come up, because this whole, you don’t need the body and the persons to acknowledge who you are. Or, your worth, or your purpose. Like your purpose is totally beyond, it transcends the images. And, that’s what’s so, so beautiful. So, you don’t want to try to, we call metaphysically ghost. Like just to affirm the words thinking that just by saying the words that will make the state of mind. But you do want to keep practicing at releasing any kind of judgements and thoughts that come up. Because that will bring you into the state of mind where you can truly speak from your heart and mean it. I love you, a sense of I love you. You can.. it can come out of your mouth freely, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you. And you mean it, mean it, mean it, mean it. You know, it just feels good. It’s not the sense of demands or some kind of a expectations. That you say that and then somebody is supposed to respond. It’s wonder if peope respond or people don’t respond. It doesn’t change your worth, it doesn’t change your purpose. You’re more like Johnny Appleseed. You’re a flinger of love seeds. You fling, fling, fling, fling, fling. And you fling it everywhere. And even in the parable, some landed in the thistles, some landed on rocks, who cares? You know, if not, you’re objected to be evaluating where they land or whether they germinate or not. Whether they grow into plants or trees or whether they just sit there on the rocks. Just that happy little seed on the rocks. If you’re fully into the joy of flinging, what does it matter? There’s no consequences. But, that’s another thing that’s beautiful about our reflection of our community. We’re not reaally into things like size or growth. If it expands, it expands, if it shrinks, it shrinks. If the circle’s closed, it’s closed. If the circle opens, it opens. You know, we can be in the place of celebrating… everything and not thinking it means something. You know, like from a sales perspective, you know, people go oohh, we’re shrinking in work force, we’re shrinking production… shrinking gross national product, those are all negatives. Expanding economy, expanding, expanding. To the world, those are a positive. But it’s all relative. It’s just, you know and because it’s relative it doesn’t really have any lasting meaning. So, who cares? If something shrinks or expands, really. You know in the end… who really cares, who is the one… that even cares? I feel like one of the first things that made me feel very welcome here, was that, like that polyamorous experience… of affection and just brothers and sisters, like just being really intuned with what was the call for. And you know, even that welcome from,.. I remember pulling Kristen aside one day and said…. the Course is linking, how am I not supposed to fall in love with Jason? I go, tum poppers…. and I heard her just say, ohh no, no, that’s ok you’re supposed to, go right ahead. You know, and then for me, of course, that was the only way it could happen, cause it was so safe. You know, it was like in this.. tree thing. It was so safe, there was just, you know it was just….. yeah…. and, I think what I’ve noticed is.. like it bounced.. like over the last year, somehow it becaaame less like that. And, somehow tighter, in my experience. I’m not saying it’s true. But, so I can get into a complacency and a kind of a sense of thou would never get flushed up for me.. there was no.. there was no level of intimacy that was coming closer to me in form. You know just as a symbol. I could go dead to certain parts of myself. And, and, I felt a little, a little bit stiff, not like acting that extreme set, because I’m actually, I think, I feel that’s very natural. I could just see where I shut parts of myself down, thinking well, I’m here so like, that no, that will happen. That’s all right for me. So, yeah, I can just feel like, and then, and then, this a similar but different aspect Tru said…. you know, even stiill, there might not be that for you. You know and then this.. it’s just.. it was both everything being possible and then maybe not that at all. I, and really I think I feel like, I feel quite bare faced for… at the forefront of a year of surprises. Like, I don’t know anything and it’s my mind and anything that’s helpful can’t help but come towards me. In whatever way is helpful. And I couldn’t possibly know what that would be. So, yeah, I just… it just feels more natural to me in my mind than this.. consistent one on one, that’s it relationships, because, I mean I love that JP once had a song that he wrote for me… I love that there were all these you talked about, the romance.. it’s helpful to me and and then I see that my own expectation for one to one thing droppeds away and…. I’m just really open to where it’s given. Who is it now at this moment, who’s in front of you, who are you to be totally in love with and…. totally singularly focused on in this second, cause they’re right in front of you. And, that doesn’t become a person, and yet, I still feel this possi.. you know be helpful for me to also have an intimate one to one type of scenario,.. but then, yeah, I mean, I think …I think it was more supportive with my experience with Coji than was…. I mean, I can’t compare it with… with Thomas because it was, it was… we were doing this … like the time you invited us to do.. mutual momentary decisions… and so, all ideas of a future or all ideas of what it meant is gone. Yeah, that’s beautiful, you can recall those and then also all the different times with Thomas and everything. If that was part of some of those things, even getting the green card. And, seemingly in the dream you being here in the United States. From Ireland, but, here with a green card. And that has come in through all that, so it’s like it all works together for the good equally for the good. There’s trusting that there’s a presence behind all the images, it’s just using the swirl of images to take the mind higher and higher. And that’s a beautiful thouht. And then when we fall away from that and we start to examine it specifically it always starts to deteriorate. Cause, there’s some personal component that comes in and that’s , I mean that’s… I feel really grateful that I have a quarter of a century of travel. Because, you know, I’d be just getting into the joy and the glee of the miracle and I’d be somewhere or where ever in Europe… and they’d say, what are you gonna do when you go back to the United States? And I’d say, United States, that’s a hypothetical. I would just be so in the glee of the moment, it would just roll out of my mouth. David.. I’d say, do you really think there is a United States to go back to? And they would be like, Oh, my God. That was my experience in the moment. I would just say, that’s hypothetical. And, to start to really give yourself full permission to go into that expansive state…. where you start to see that everything is hypothetical. In fact when I was part of the whole quantum forgiveness book that Nakita really put together, it was this… we defined hypothetical, you know it’s like…hypothetical is an ‘ as if ‘. And the whole universe, the whole cosmos is a hypothetical. Because, it’s an , as if, the separation happened. It’s all hypotheticals. But when the mind locks into the concrete, it says, oh no, forget this hypothetical stuff. All this love, love, love stuff. I’m talking practical specifics You know, then its really into what it calls practical hypotheticals, which is really an oxymoron. There are no practical hypotheticals. It’s the undoing of the beliefs in the hypotheticals that frees the mind to soar and see that it’s everywhere. Like that’s what Lisa, when she was thinking that everyone was going to the movie the other day and….. a joy movie and she heard, I’m everywhere. You know, well that takes away the here or there or go or not go, you know it’s just I’m everywhere. So, rest. The rest that comes with that. So, yeah, it’s just fun to just watch, to observe. And start tp feel that contentment of just being able to observe and watch the stream go by. Without thinking you have to shake the stream or I want the stream to look this way or that way or… getting all locked in to future goals or future outcomes. It’s quite a thing. I think as well that, I wouldn’t have learned it myself at the time, but that would end the emotional commitment to… but never to hiding of the form from each other, was what I needed during that time with Thomas. Like that I would never had known that that’s what I needed like that commitment there that was definite for communications. So… Yeah. Yeah. That was more important than anything to me then. Yeah, it’s funny they showed the man laying in bed with his partner, then all these hands were running by… and just the look on her face and the look on his face, it’s all these hands, ha, you just see hands on the side of the picture. Can see her looking over and him, it’s like, you know, it’s just to get to a state of mind where, where the form is no longer causitive. Where there’s no interpretation of, something’s gone wrong in form. You know, we use that metaphor, but it’s for, we use it more as experiencially, like you say something feels off… something feels strange. We’re not saying the foorrm is off or strange, we’re saying the perception of the form is strange or off. And that we can do. We can say, ohh, that’s strong mindedness. It’s not happy feeling, it’s a contraction, it’s a tightness, it’s a closed down feeling. It’s not making a judgement about anything specific, it’s just saying, ohh my interpretation here is off. And then being willing to say, I wanna join in prayer for another way of looking at this. I wanna see this from another way. That little crack of opening … its yeah, it’s amazing. I just recorded, I’ve been recording the lessons, and I think it was yesterday I was talking about the willingness to open to the Holy Instant. And it’s saying, it’s soo little required of you, that the ego is insulted as no contribution. Just a tiny little proportion of contribution the mind that’s sleeping to make really the Might of the Holy Spirit and this tiny little willingness join… and produce this enormous, this amazing experience. But, He was just saying, just don’t add, don’t try to add anything to the Holy Instant. Don’t add, you know I gotta do something or figure it out or I have to make something happen… or achieve something or accomplish something accumulate something or…. you know, all these things of the world are all just attempts to add to the Holy Instant. He’s saying, no just be willing for it, just desire it. To let it be what it is. Let it show you what it is, don’t think that you have to achieve it. Which is really what a lot of localization and enlightenment is. It’s work hard, work hard; practice, practice, practice. Work, work, work, work, work. And maybe after many years or many life times then you’ll get your reward finally. Jesus is saying, no, it’s not that at all, you can slide and slip into this simplicity by not adding anything to it. Don’t add ANYthing to it. Let the Holy Spirit lead you, show you the way. We’re in the final days of the calendar year, and as you know, if you do the workbook lessons, those final five workbook lessons… this Holy Instant would I give to You. Be You in charge, for I would but follow. You’re, you’re supposed to give, offer yourself, offer the Holy Instant to, you know, to the Holy Spirit. To show, show me. So, that’s how the workbook ends, with the show me experience. Not, I’m gonna show you. Which, like if you go through like, two years of college or ten years of schooling. Then you have to take a big exam or you gotta do some kind of big project or some thesis or whatever and you have to prove your worth. By doing and showing. But, the Course is saying, no, no. It’s time for you to resign as your own teacher. And, don’t play, show you with the Holy Spirit. You play, show me. You gotta play show me. It runs against all our conditioning, it runs against everything we’ve ever learned in this world. Show me? You’re gonna show me? It’s like, yeah. Let’s play one final game here. Let the Holy Spirit show me. So, that’s really nice, because that’s saying that you aren’t gonna reach it through doings. We can actually throw that one out the window and say, ok, I’m not.. I’m not here as a doing. As a human doing, trying to do enough to make it back to God. That, that’s just not the way that it works. And let all things just come. And, welcome, embrace everything, you know, ever day is like…. you show up, whatever somebody’s expressing, screaming, shouting, you could just be like in wonderment. Oohh, it’s so beautiful, it’s just so, you know, this is my mind. Thank you for showing me my mind. laughter It’s better than trying to fix somebody. Ohh, thank you for showing me. Wonderful, you’re delightful. yeah, I feel like, uhhh… like, I shouldn’t… even at the mention of it, I think it was two nights ago or something…. I mean I was able to pass into it quickly, it was like, terror, I was like, ohh, ohh you’re.. huh, here we are… it just kinda drove me… basically it seemed like…. I don’t know, it’s…. Like I want.. yeah, I just know this feels like a very…like… vulnerable spot for me. Soft under belly….. yeah cause…like, I know I wanted to see it, cause, I know, I didn’t want to leave that kind of hidden. Yeah, it’s just.. a sense of terror around ideas…. like, my mind felt , just kinda like, so closed off, this idea that I didn’t wanna participate in it cause…. I don’t wanna be that closed off that there’s such a fear.. I’m just… there’s just PAIN with that idea. Yeah. yeah, it could even be like you.. if you open and taken so many steps…. and then, you come into this relationship with Jutta and it seems so helpful and amazing….. that the part of the mind that feels the terror is just, it’s just like a fear of loss. It’s like, no, no, no. Don’t, I just got it, don’t take it away from me. And that’s why I think it’s just helpful to remember that the Spirit is always, Spirit never takes anything away. It’s always an expanded view or always a retranslations. So, if you think of things, just.. it’s just that little tweek in the mind, that retranslation. But, retranslation to something that’s sooo wonderful, it’s indescribable. In that sense it’s something that’…. that’s where all the trust comes in, faith. Like, okay, I’m on this journey and, you’ve told me nothing’s gonna be taken away. It may seeem as if things are being taken away, but those would be just sometimes the ego interpreting. And he’s so afraid of loss and he’ll just interpret everything is being taken away or stolen or abandoned. But, yeah, it’s just keeping the faith, you know, Jesus says in the healed relationship section…. you know, you invited the Holy Spirit into your relationship And, can you not have the faith that you invited Him in and let Him come, let Him abide, let Him purify the awareness. Which was what the whole invitation is about. So, it’s actually good just to… yeah….. to let those fears up and the terror up and to talk. Lisa said you had a good hour long session of yeah, just letting it come up. And, that’s very common, though. There’s a fear of loss like something will be taken away. It’s just we’re being purfied of this causation thing, cause I had a girlfriend in the mid nineties… and oh my God, we just started to relax and drop the mask and started to have these mystical experiences. And then more mystical experiences and more mystical experiences. And then, all I could remember at some point was the ego just coming
in like don’t take it away. Don’t take her away you know as if the
mystical experiences was coming FROM her. Or from David and her interacting in some way
or something like this and it was oh, don’t…you know… Like, don’t finally, don’t mess with this, you know. But the, you know there came a point where, you know I just had to start to listen internally to… you know, it’s no, that was part of a reflection of your mind opening up to Spirit. But, the symbols aren’t causitive. The symbols didn’t bring the mystical experience. They were just reflections of it. And it was like, ohh again it was all backwards. You know, like the terror and the fear of loss was so great because of thinking that the symbols were that important. Like , I can’t live without these symbols, you know that was more of that just this gentle presence of Spirit saying, Oh, there’s much more to come. Don’t, don’t think that this is the end of anything. Cause there’s so many synchronicities, so many miracles. And everyday just floods of miracles and going out and finding this little cat and we actually called the cat sweetie. This is another sweetie that’s back, what is it? Nineteen ninety five, that’s twenty.. twenty year cycle. Sweetie has returned. And this was the sweetie, we were out, we went to like a yard sale… and this cat was, this little kitten was sitting on these row of books. And, Janie was like, oh, isn’t that adorable? da, da, da, da,da. They said you can him home it you want. OKAY, here we we quickly naming the cat sweetie and then having a kitten coming back to the …. winnebago trailer where we’re living
parked in the back of a barn. That was part of the mystical experiences just a friend saying, just plug it in to the barn, and…. Oh, yeah, come over and eat out of my kitchen whenever you want. Swim in the lake. No charges for electricity, go out to Brooklyn, Michigan, rent movies, sit in bed… cuddling, watching Chances Are and all these spectacular mytaphysical movies….. going into deep meditations, soaring in the Spirit and everything. Not a care in the world. Just gave ourselves permission to let go of everything. You know, let go of the future, let go of thinking we had to do anything, go any where, say anything. You know, just is a permission in the mind. Like to just soar, and that’s what it was all about. And it was the permission in THE Mind. It wasn’t my, David’s mind or Janie’s mind. It was just we merged in that permission. We merged in, I need do nothing. It was great. I mean. I remember sometimes I was just so blissed out that I.. You know those Winnebago’s… you can open up, you can you can take the, uh little kitchen table down. And you can make it into like an I Dream of Jeannie like bottle with just pillows, which she called pillues. Pillues everywhere, pillues were all soft and I remember I’d get in there and I’d be just like ooohh…. and then she’d come over, we’d cuddle, let’s watch a movie, have something to eat, and this and this and this. The only time I would get off the I Dream of Jeannie pillow was occasionally I had to out to pee. I would just go out to pee in the grass, which was two and a half feet high. Nobody’s smelling the grass. We’re parked out behind the back of a barn. We don’t have to think about ANYTHING. So, and then she, because she had watched me go around and give all these talks on the Course and everything. She said, at one point she said, it scares me to see a body so active all day long. Like you just go from group to group to group, and you just share and talk and it’s just total activity. To watch me and she said it’s scary. Then, when I got into the pillues at this Winnebago…. just let my hair grow, eat chips, have shakes, watch Chances Are, and all these great movies, and sit there in this soft pillow and cuddle and everything. She said, it’s scary how inactive the body can be. You’re not leaving here, you’re not going anywhere except to pee. Or to go out to defecate, you know or. So, it was the same thing, it was scary to see a form that active or that inactive. But, I didn’t care you know, cause really I’m not interested in evaluating what a body’s doing. You know, it’s just seems most natural. But, you see it took a lot of permission to let myself go into that experience. Of not caring for the form. Of actually going soaring into that purpose, into that joy. Into that presence and saying, I don’t care. That was you know, who knows what our life times are of… meditating and postures and rituals and you know, all these attempts to reach God you know through form. And then it’s this stunning discovery when you realize it’s been you all along, You’re MInd. Then you can just give over. That was what Lisa’s last year down in Mexico was. You just gave yourself permission to not care, to be used, to be in purpose, but to not care about anything. Not care about people, you know, you can have different ones, I know this ones, Geoff, Andy… You probably go in to visit her and share whatever you just shared, she didn’t care. laughter She didn’t care about the form, she cared about the love, but she didn’t care. She’d call me and she’d go, I’m happy here and I told her, I kept telling her, your only function is to be happy. Then, when the people started to leave, she said, the numbers are going down here. Should I be worried? I said NO. So, the numbers went down. You know it’s like… they disappear and they’re falling like flies. Should I be concerned? NO! I told you, be happy. That’s just the one thing you gotta do, just be happy. It can’t be that diffuclt, just be happy and she says, Okay. Alright. And she… somebody took my function very seriously.. But, it.. you have to.. it’s all about allowance, she had to really… beautiful….. you know, it goes against all the programming to be told, just be happy. Cause the mind has got. OOOOHHH it’s got so much programming. Oh, yeah just be happy, right, right. You know but it is and it’s all, you can see how the beat goes on. That was a big step to come, to leave Mexico and come up here. And then all kinds of miracles unfolded and then to hear about that electric stuff, you know… all the stuff that went on and, that’s just hilarious. It’s like some kind of Lucille Ball episode the wires were crossed, now we’ve been over paying, they’re gonna give us credit. You know it’s just,.. really?…yeah. But, then when we put solar in the bill went even higher. Because the wires were crossed. It took a while cause they told us the wires were crossed. That probably what started this whole talk was in your mind was when the wires get crossed. It’s a baaazzar time/space experience. You’re like lost in space. Like the old television show. And then when the wires get turned back around, you get rewired, then it’s like, ohhh…. there was no problem there. It was just they had the wiring crossed that’ s all. Had an ego wire stuck in…. huh… yeah, so it’s… I think this is a sense… there’s a real great cause for joy. And, and a reminder that, yeah, that it’s not for me to judge. Who am I to judge.? That’s a line from one of Donna Marie Carey’s songs. Who am I to judge? Who am I to judge? How am I not myself? You know, that’s the thing in I Heart Huckaby that got Brad out of his…. Shanaya story. Over and over and over. Shanaya this, always trying to one up Shanaya. And then, the existential detective said, Lily Tomlin said, how am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? And he said…. AHHH, and all these rays comes up, cause that was the question that he needed to be asking himself. How am I not myself? When I’m judging, that’s how I’m not myself. Whenever I’m judging anything. Then I’m not mySelf. I wasn’t created to be a judge. That’s kind of fun to have a little…. can opener in there. So, that’s kind of fun, to be continued. Every day. Their life……the poly..amore.. or what ever it is………. we can’t even remember the name. Yes, we can’t even remember the name. But….. we’re all in emotional polyamory. Yeah, and just watching,… watching it go from there. Letting the Holy Spirit take the lead. Come and gitty. That’s what they were saying today in the hallway, kitty, kitty. Giddy up, giddy up, yeah.. gidddy up. Giddy for God. Giddy for God. Giddy for God. Thank you.

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