OUR MARRIED LIFE | working through difficulties in a marriage

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  1. Happy Tuesday everyone! We're back and we wanted to do a sit down video with you. We haven't done one of these in a while, besides the challenges and the question and answers.

    We aren't therapists here (clearly) but we had fun explaining how these subjects impacted our relationship. It's like we have a therapy session in front of the camera, haha.

    Just curious, do you all talk about these in your relationship? Are they uncomfortable to talk about? We didn't think so. We think they might be at the start of a relationship.

    We have a surprise for next week's video. If you don't follow us on Instagram, follow us. You'll see on Saturday 🙂

  2. Even though l really like those who wear gray clothes. But l am less beautiful than those who wear plaid clothes 😭😭😭

  3. I love you two! Huge goal to be in a relationship similar to what you’ve created together! So joyful and loving. Ugh one day! So happy for you in your life journey. This video was so real and raw. Thanks for sharing your successes and struggles and what it means to be in a relationship and committed. And for being so open for all of us. It may not feel like it at times but you’re doing everything right! Have each other’s backs and take care of each other’s hearts. I know you will. And if it wasn’t already obvious, gay relationships are not unlike straight ones. Love is love is love.

  4. I totally relate on those pet peeves topic.. 😅😋😂 This is the only couple channel that I watched the most, very cute and admirable. "AUTHENTIC" as Bernardo said! 😊 Hope to find my right person too.. More love and sweetness to the both of you! ❤😘

  5. I love this video…I still learning things about you….love all the subjets especially the "jealousy" and Adam's reaction to Bernardo's "next jealousy" it's gold, I wish you guys the best in the world and please don't you ever get divorce I would die if you do that……thanks for another amazing video…..love you guys so much….
    PD: love the bloopers….I need more of that… and I just noticed you guys removed some videos..why?…😢😢😢😢😢😢😂😂😂☺☺😍😍😍😙😙

  6. 1. In Bed. If one pulls the sheets, warm creep over, youll be pushed getting it back.
    2. If in bed,couch, cuddle watch TV. One snores off then,
    Tender little kisses from Ear to chin and hair stroking.
    3. Shower Time. Take advantage of your partner together. Save💰waterbills. Install extra caddies for basics including health sex basic care.
    4. Make it a habit asap after making food. Wash pots&pans together. Also light wooden bowls are the best choice.
    5. Get A Small Puppy.

  7. The most important Things for You seems to be to Show Your Bodies and Second collect Money by advertising.right?

  8. This is too cute! And love the website pictures😍😍 Especially with him holding you from behind and you too both looking at the sunset that’s so beautiful and spectacular to me!!

  9. Nice pic of you two laying in bed together like that…….must be so nice……but my ass will never know😆…..ah well, and we go on!😊

  10. Probably you're both so open about all those relationship issues is because you love each other, or as Bernardo says, you lof each other. To solve the hamper problem do this: each time you enter the bathroom open the hamper lid first. Then when you take off your clothes, you'll be inclined to throw them inside the open hamper, instead of on the floor. Ahh. Harmony restored to the BernAdam household, or is it the AdamNardo household?

  11. Just to say one guys as u married stay along with each forever not everyone get's a chance to a true love partner nd married to just be with each other forever life

  12. news flash, gringo! from one gringo to another… our hips do NOT move like theirs…………… period……………… accept it………hahahahahahhahahaha

  13. Adam i wanna thank you for sharing Bernardo's undie roll in the beginning of the video, i think now we can all see one of the areas you are enjoying having you hubby around for…lol i had to pause the vid and just admire the sight

  14. How cute you guys really are! Love you both. Why can't I have a boyfriend in India it's so difficult to find here. I'm 27 and never ever got a chance to date someone. I'm just single all my life. Sometimes I feel like I'll be lonely all my life. 😢 Never mind I'm still trying to be happy. Lol!

  15. Im hooked with you two…love your videos..it always makes my day and Ive learned so much about relationships…thank you…continue the Love💪❤❤❤

  16. My boyfriend and I, just had our one year boyfriendversary, are not married yet but going through the same exact things right now. It’s good to know that we aren’t alone in our issues and progress. Thank you guys for shedding light! We appreciate you both.

  17. You are beautiful in every way. You give me faith in romantic love. Watching you lifts my spirit. All to best to you.

  18. I really satisfied for being watching your channel. Each "chapter" of your life is funny, interacting and emotional. Best regards for each one of you guys! Happiness ..

  19. Love you guys and I agree with the comment about you guys getting a divorce!
    Suggestion for the clothes issue. A clothes basket.

  20. bro im from Bangladesh my country not allow gay cupol but all time pain my mind i see u diveo u can help me plz i come u county give me visa my need relationship who peoples came to my life this my imo imo or whatsappp +8801635025777 my need bf

  21. É por isso q corro da vida de casamento mais no fundo sei q não a nada melhor do q isso haha obg pelas realidades no vídeo eu adorei 😂😊❤

  22. After using the blender, put water in and run it again. Instant clean.
    Take the top off the bathroom hamper to make a target, then play basketball with dirty clothes.
    Jon in BC, Canada

  23. I love you guys!!!! 👍❤️👍❤️👍. Thanks for being honest with us. Also shower together to save water!! ❤️😏😇

    P.s. I really enjoyed the bloopers 🤣

  24. Amo vocês beijos o Bernardo de cueca branca eita diabo assim vc mata o pai agora sei o porquê do ciúmes do Adam.
    Mais vocês são sempre o que eu digo lindos e maravilhosos 🍆😍❤️

  25. You are discussing very important subjects in any relationship, sometimes we don't notice some elements in our life that's surely effecting on our parents and making our connection very hard, also we must be open of each other to make things right not excellence, but at least right, honestly I learn from your vedio alot about how make our love continue and save it by using our mind and heart, so thanks guy for this and God bless you.Big love from mid east .🐋

  26. My boyfriend wants kids because he's just like a natural daddy figure, but I'm strongly opposed to children so we have three dogs instead :/

  27. Such a wonderful sweet looking couple and I really do wish you both success and happiness for the future. BE STRONG STAY STRONG AND YOU REALLY CANT GO WRONG ❤️❤️❤️

  28. I don’t know how patreon works but I truly do enjoy you guys videos tht I thinking I’d like to look into it so I can follow you guys there too!

  29. I love you guys! You are amazing. You make me smile and i can truly see the genuin love. Excuse my english 😊 Love from Sweden 🇸🇪

  30. LOL. Benard and Adam you are working through the small bumps that a loving couple experiences. However, the key is communication based on understanding, respect and satisfying individual expectations. Its balance with love holding the equilibrium in the relationship. Now having said that, I love your sharing on each of the videos. In one way you are being courageous because humans like to make judgement on many aspects in others but never use self-reflection to gain their own insights to their weakness, strengths and deficiencies. So thank you for be sharing and modeling how we can be better humans.
    Being honest if you were living in the same community i definitely would want you in my inner circle. 😊😊😊

  31. im happy to watch your vid..ive kearned so many things!! indeed love has no gender!! ur now my inspiration..please dont get devorse!! muahh

  32. Thanks for not skirting around this weighty topic…….I thought for a time all your videos were going to be only perpetual 'snookums' and 'googoo' eyes! The fact that you are being forthright with your audience, bolsters our trust that your relationship is real, and we delight all the more in the vicarious pleasure of seeing your sweet intimacy. You both are charming, and from this vantage point at least, seem well matched by complementing each other.

    Some notes: Yes, JEALOUSY is a normal human emotion. Let it inform us, rather than rule us. It is often born of our fear of loosing something we value (we value the other, not own them!), and as such, can serve us well if the perceived loss is real and imminent. Too often, however, our insecurities run wild, and the fear becomes irrational, thence the jealousy destructive. Communication is key; working it out between one another and coming to a place of mutual understanding and compromise helps us through the rough times. One partner listens to the other's fears without judging. Partners do not "stuff" their feelings, but neither do they use them to clobber over the head of the other. Each partner "owns" their own *feelings*, and speaks their feelings with personal "I" statements, taking responsibility for themselves, rather than accusing or blaming the other. The other speaks calmly and non-accusatorily (is that a word!?). The partners slowly dispel the fear reigns and become stronger together by reaffirming their love and commitment. The most destructive relationship is one in which one partner suffocates the other with their possessiveness.

    SEX. The two of you are clearly very intentional about building your bonds of allegiance through trust building experiences – all your travels and those you yet hope to do, will serve to strengthen that relationship. There is no better way to learn about someone as to play, strive and struggle together, tightening the bonds of friendship (Yes, partners are best made when they first and foremost are friends). There is a reason why soldiers who go off to war together will talk of their comrades afterwards in such glowing terms, saying they would die for the other if the other was in danger. Team mates spend time doing together. They don't only talk about the relationship; they do it. Spending quality time with your partner, giving your undivided attention, listening without judging or interrupting, can be a sure way to enhance trust and commitment. On the other hand, it is important to maintain your individuality and independence of the other by having your own friends and doing some activities alone. I am always amazed how few married people make an effort to spend time together, expecting closeness to simply come of its own accord, dropping down from heaven, as it were, without any effort. No wonder there are so many separations. By magnifying trust, we feel emboldened to share more and more deeply our inner most thoughts and feelings – including around sex. We are so afraid of rejection that it stifles our spontaneity and willingness to experiment. We can even infuse a little humor from time to time; why not?! Sex is a dance: give and take and communicate!

    CONFLICT (what you, I think, term "arguing"). Beware of arguing just for sake of doing so. Too often what we construe to be arguing is simply competition: the one wants to win (or be right) and the other does likewise. It ends up going no where except maybe to ruffle feathers. Be kind. Be sensitive to what the other person is feeling even when you are feeling bristly and bitchy, tired and frustrated. Don't take it out on your partner. Don't make assumptions – check what's going on before jumping to conclusions – or even worse: saying something you will regret later. Winning is not always the best outcome. In a competition, there has to be a loser, and that is not always pretty. Compromise can sometimes be preferrable. Nagging and efforts to control the other are almost certain to lead to exasperation on both sides of the fence. I love the way you both recognize that taking a "Time Out" (truce) to de-escalate emotions, regain perspective and regclaim rationality as well as reasonability, is the best way. And be fair; fight fair. Never get so complacent about the relationship that you forget always to be sensitive and respectful. Name-calling is pure poison. Listen, love and affirm; don't judge, attack or threaten. Avoid arguing just out of habit; be conscious of when you begin to do it and examine what the inciting causes within you may be. Always apologize when you know deeply in your heart that your have been wrong. Remember, its not about winning. Its about preserving the bonds that hold you together with beauty and strength. Compassion and forgiveness are just as potent a balm between partners as they are in our civil life. Always strive to see the Light of God in the other, even when the shadows of darkness strain to obscure the righteous path. It will lead you away from your fears and hate, and will warm your heart.

    I watch your well crafted videos with admiration and joy. You make an old man smile. Your mutual petting is adorable (chimps do the same thing as a sign of wanting assurance that all is well!). Besides being two hot dudes (But then you know that because your shirts are always off ~ and I am not arguing about the eye candy thing. Its "all good" as my young friends are wont to say. No harm.), you genuinely seem to enjoy the other's company and seem to see deeply into the other's soul with grace and kindness. Your relationship as it shows up on camera is playful, mutual, mature, compassionate, honest, kind, considerate and a bit mischievous from time to time. Each of you plays the pixie now and then, and it is such fun to watch! I delight in having a window into your adventures. It is positively refreshing to see two secure, caring, adult, gay and masculine men who are not always affecting a provocative, simpering, bitchy, 'in your face' attitude. You're healthy and normal; not effete as the Silver Screen too often has portrayed us. I sense there is real love in the air when you are recording, and it pleases me no end to see two gay men committed to making not only their own, individual life work, but that of their partner's as well.

    And then, maybe, just maybe as well, there may come a time when, after having expended much of your energy in solidifying your relationship, you will go out into the world, beyond the connubial bliss you have made, and do good and loving works for other people also. Then come back and tell us about those adventures as well. Life cannot be an endless parade of self-indulgence and pleasure seeking. When we are called to serve others we add additional richness and meaning to our lives in addition to that which we have forged with our partner. Let us hear about those efforts when they arrive. Best wishes!

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