Reasons For Marriage 💍 Why We Got Married

In our last talk video about marriage we
went over six reasons why it’s not a good idea to marry for happiness. Well, if
not for happiness, what the heck else is there to even get
married for? In this video, we’re going to talk about why we got married. Most people in the world live for
happiness. They go along their merry way making choices that maximize good
feelings and minimize bad feelings. Because this way of life is so prevalent,
it’s easy to assume that that’s what drives all people, that it’s ultimately
for happiness that people choose to do anything, including getting married. But
that’s not true for us. Of course we enjoy feeling good and of course we make
choices that make us feel happy. But we believe that there’s more to life than
just chasing after feelings. In our past video “What We Live For,” we try to explain
the bigger picture goal that we choose to live by. So we believe that there is
an absolute good, an absolute best, and an absolute most fulfilling. And for the
sake of illustration, we’ll say that this absolute is a bull’s-eye on a big target
and our world is just a little point off the target. Kim and I live to continually
try, emphasis on the try, to understand what that bulls-eye looks like, where it
is, and do what we can to move that off-point closer to that bull’s eye, all in a
way that embraces people’s individual differences and gives grace when the
mark is missed. That’s what we live for. To reach this bullseye. We believe that
in life it’s pretty important to have a set destination, like our bulls-eye. Simon
Sinek talks about this in one of his
motivational speeches. Imagine we’re standing in a big empty room, right? And
we’re standing in one corner and I give you a simple instruction: “I want you to
go to that corner in a straight line,” right? Off you go, no big deal, right?
Without telling you, I slip a chair in front of you. What do you do? You go
around the chair. Now you just disobeyed what I told you to do – I told you to go
to that corner, straight line. But this is the amazing things about human beings,
which is when we’re given a clear destination, we use our own creativity
and our own sense of innovation and our own problem-solving abilities to
overcome obstacles to get to the destination. Sure you could try
get to your destination on your own. But what if because of all the chairs that
come in your way, you lose sight of your destination, lose confidence in yourself,
can’t figure out a way around. Would it not greatly increase your chances of
getting to your destination if you had a partner, a teammate, going to that same
destination? And what if you both commit your entire time in that big empty room
making sure the other person gets to that destination no matter how many
chairs are in the way. For sure it would increase the chances of both of you
reaching your destination. It’s the whole strength in numbers strategy, right? But
we didn’t want to get into it in a self-serving way. Not like “I want to add
you into my life so that I can get to my destination.” When things are me-centered
like that, you’re more likely to think “You’re not doing enough for me.” Instead,
as Christians, we’re instructed to make it about self-sacrifice. In other words, “I
want to give my life to you so that you can get to your destination.” This way,
we’re more likely to ask “What more can I do for you?”
That’s the way we chose to get married. So it’s not about all those little
things that a lot of people have reduced marriage down to. Yeah, we did not get
married just for a piece of paper, just for the various perks and benefits that
come with that piece of paper. We did not get married just to go along with
tradition, to please others, or to have validation for our relationship. We did
not get married to possess each other, to take advantage of each other’s looks,
money, or status, and then to say, “Hey everyone! Back off, okay? This is mine!”
Marriage wasn’t our ticket out of a life of loneliness and we did not get married
just for happiness. We got married because marriage can be one of the best
vehicles to get to our destination, to get to our bulls-eye. We got married for
mutual fulfillment through mutual sacrifice and learning to love beyond
ourselves. We got married for intimacy to be brought into closer contact with one
another more than any other kind of relationship.
And last but not least, we got married because we believe that marriage is a
reflection of the love relationship between humankind and God. And we want
even the way that we love, relate with, and commit to one another, to be a
testament to the world, to our future children, that an even greater love
relationship with God does exist. Thanks so much for watching. This video has been
more of an introduction on why we got married, but in the future, we plan to
make videos going deeper about marriage. So how about you? What are your
thoughts and feelings around marriage? We’d love to know, so leave us a comment
below. And don’t forget to like and subscribe.
See you next time. Bye.

About the author


  1. Happy Valentine’s Day eve, everyone! 🌹In time for Valentine’s Day, we thought we’d make a video sharing why we got married. How are all of you celebrating Valentine’s Day? Also, no actual marriage certificates were damaged in the making of this video 😆

  2. Hahaha ok Kim is always staring at Daniel, I used to think that was a tadbit strange but now I realize she deeply loves him. I agree 100% that marrying for happiness is not the way. Your previous vid was challenging. I was torn between two opinions but it's very biblical not to marry for selfish reasons. Happiness should be a byproduct of a quality marriage not the main reason to commit. I pray that you both represent the relationship of Jesus and the church through this challenging ministry (marriage). Be blessed you guys!

  3. Congratulations!!!
    Looks like you two are on the right track.
    May you two keep your vows. And may you two be still smiling at the jubilee of your marriage. But I suspect we do not have much time left on earth.
    Rapture (it is a Christian event , Google it to find out more ) has never been more imminent than this time period. Than again if you two believe in Jesus Christ you two will have eternity to smile for each other
    God bless you two.

  4. The only real reason to marry? by law, you cannot be compelled to testify against each other. xD

    For those who may not be familiar, when you get married in ANY state in the United States, you're not marrying each other, as any sane person would a priori presume: you're literally, legally, by law, in fact not de facto but DE JURE, MARRYING the STATE.

    A license, in legal terms, is a paperwork signifying that you're permitted by govt to engage in an activity, that IT inherently PRESUMES is ILLEGAL, UNTIL it specifically authorizes you to do so.

    It's why, like Vatican of yore, you 'need' the govt's permission, to 'file for divorce:' 'cause what the state giveth, it can take away, and you're made to ask for its PERMISSION to do so.

    It's why you 'need' a 'marriage license,' which its own founding premise is RACIST-actual, as there were no such thing as a marriage license in America, until after the Civil War: it was enacted to PREVENT INTERRACIAL marriage between newly freed black men with white women.

    Same for gun control laws: the 1st gun control 'law' in Murica was to specifically prevent the post Civil War, freed blacks from owning guns.

    Frankly, marriage in so far vs the State, should be no different than like an address change form you file at your local post office: two people got married, govt: record info, then STFU. xD

    Better yet, people should just all get civil unions with notarized power of attorney for emergencies.

  5. Yet in the past you have stated you were having relationship issues requiring counselling & therapy which is somewhat a worry so early on.

  6. I so needed to hear this! I am your 11,111 subscriber. 🙂 Enjoy your journey together, you are such a lovely couple. ❤️ Please do more videos on this!

  7. You two are the only best married couple that understand each other ive ever seen ! You both are so lucky to find someone that understand each other in such a level! And id love to see more of these videos! Love your contents!

  8. lol as Christians a woman is supposed to serve man. like it is amazing how many people who call them self Christians but clearly have never read the bible.

  9. I love this video, marriage is a precious, of course. And I also want to get married with the right person someday. You give us a great video, thank you :))

  10. So if you think you can help someone, you should marry them? Or at least get into a relationship with them?

  11. I'm a Christian and I'm a HSP too. Love watching your video! I've just dating with another girl in my church. We are building and sharing our love journey as we shared the same response to the love of God and we want to commit ourlives for those we can serve and help.

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