Relationship/Marriage Goals Part 1 (God At The Center) – Pastor Mike And Natalie Todd


[Music]
we think that this message today is going to help you if you’re single out
you’re gonna be thankful that you’re not married tell them if they’re dating and
and and you’ll value your singleness more today than ever before hearing this
message if you’re dating and you’re engaged you are gonna find things that
you’re gonna prepare for in future marriage or find ways to prevent humps
that May or bumps that may come in the road and if you’re married this is gonna
take your marriage to the next level or it’s just gonna be a nice little tune-up
for your marriage and so this is what we want to do we want to give you some
major keys to marriage write that down that’s the title of today’s message
major keys to marriage and the first thing I want you to realize is that
marriage is supposed to be a reflection on the earth of the relationship God has
with the church the church and a lot of people say things like this I’ve never
seen God I can’t believe in God but I believe that was the intention that
people that don’t know God would see a healthy marriage and they say oh I see
God and that’s what God wants marriage to look like but we don’t get to see
that oftentimes because people don’t do marriage God’s Way and and that’s what
we want to talk about doing marriage God’s Way there is nothing more
attractive to somebody who believes in God and who doesn’t believe in God than
a healthy marriage that’s why people marry eight times Elizabeth Taylor and
it find and they keep doing it because there’s something attractive about
marriage and so we want to give you our first major key that marriage was never
meant to be done just between two people you need to hear me say this very
clearly it was never supposed to be just the husband and the wife God was always
supposed to be the cornerstone in the sinners of the relationship
it’s because God is love and love has an action that goes with it we all know the
scripture for God so loved that he did what you will never see real love until
there’s real sacrifice of giving and most people in our generation they want
to take what can I get out of it what can happen for me
but the real mark of love is giving and and what we want you to see is that God
wants to give you everything you need for your marriage
and I know some single people are sitting in here and there’s some people
who’ve been married a long time way longer than us hear me when I say this
that your relationship with God dictates how all your other relationships go it
literally is the barometer to how things happen in your relationship that’s why
he feeds 5:25 says this for husbands and he’s like I want to teach you how to
love your wife it says this means love your wife as Christ loved the church and
he did what he gave up his life you want a real definition of marriage it’s gonna
be a lot of dying to self you’re gonna wake up every morning and you’re gonna
die to yourself what you want to do your likes all those different things but
it’s for unity and it’s one of the most beautiful pictures because you have to
become more like God to be able to give to somebody who doesn’t want everything
you want can I make it very plain for you in this room our first major key is
really saying that you can’t do real good relationship without God it can be
a facade you can have great Instagram post but when you cut that thing wide
open there’s two hurting people that are in
need of a loving Savior there may be marriages in the room that are going
through serious things right now you know maybe we’re dealing with infidelity
or if you lost a child or financial issues whatever it may be they’re not
saying that those things aren’t valid and so but what I am saying is just
because my responses are not valid or just because I must realize sorry that
my responses are not valid just because I feel they’re justified that’s good I
need you to say that one more time rewind that say that one more time my
responses are not valid just because I feel they’re just
so just because something is real and it happened and you can lay it out there
and why you should react the way you should doesn’t mean it should happen
because that’s coming from an emotional place and not from a spiritual place
Ephesians 4:31 32 says this get rid of all bitterness rage anger harsh words
slander and all types of evil behavior instead be kind to each other
tender-hearted forgiving one another just as God through Christ has forgiven
you that is how you grow closer to your husband or to your wife and keep that
pursuit is by pursuing God first individually and let me say this you
never can be pulled higher by something that’s not higher than you you have to
have God as the center because then he can lift you up and then you’ll be
closer to each other let me just say this that’s why it’s so important for my
single people am i dating people and all that not to be unequally yoked
absolutely like this is why it’s so important I know that’s a big King James
Version word but don’t get with the wrong person just because they find and
they got a few dimes you understand what I’m saying that’s not worth it because
you will have a life of misery trying to go one way when they’re going the other
when you literally begin to feel the distance if one is moving and the other
one is not you’re gonna begin to feel tinge the tension or not feel the
tension you’ll feel distance and you’ll begin to feel like you know we’re
growing the floor apart or you fell out alone the pursuit is not there it’ll
begin to affect you and just as much as you may believe that your pursuit after
God isn’t going to directly affect your marriage it does and the reason that it
does is because God was their original creator of it and if you
have him here not chasing after him it’s gonna affect your marriage and that’s
why I want to read the second Corinthians 6:14 the unequally yoked
scripture but I want to read it from the message version because I believe it
gives great imagery for what we’re supposed to do it says don’t become
partners with those who reject God how can you make a partnership out of
right and wrong that’s not partnership that’s war
the Internet how a lot of relationships look like constant fighting consoles
that is a clear sign that they’re unequally yoked if you’re saying we
always just fight you might be with somebody who’s not going the same
direction as you it says is like best friends with dark does Christ go
strolling with the devil distrust and mistrust hold hands the answer to all of
those is no and so we have to be in relationship with people who have the
same priorities as us and I want to minister to somebody who may be
unequally yoked are you married somebody and you know that they’re in another
space in place they don’t really want to pray or have a relationship or come to
church with you listen be encouraged the Bible talks about that the faith of one
person in the household can save their entire family and you may be in this
place right now and be like man I messed up I wish I would have had relationships
go 17 years ago when I married Joseph but but but at the end of the day God is
a redeemer and he can take things that are broken and he can bring them to
another place and we believe that you can start again and that God can do
something awesome so what does that take a person in a relationship has to have a
daily devotional life you got to crack that Bible every day or scroll on that
app every day it makes you better and then you have to pray that’s just
talking to God god I’m frustrated about this traffic
right now I just need you to open up a way out of no way God’s not mad at that
even down the deep things like I’m insecure about my future he just wants
you to talk to him and he’ll speak back to you and then having terms of worship
where you play worship music and you lift got up and you extol him and our
season is different now for Natalie we have two-and-a-half kids
what does devotion look like for you um we’re two and a half y’all heard me
it’s almost worship and prayer I can incorporate into my day but the thing
that I have found to be the most sacrificial for me to do
is devotion because you need time alone and you need quiet and so having our
small children a one in a three-year-old that’s that’s hard to come by nowadays
and so I have to realize that’s something I have to sacrifice I’m either
gonna have to wake up early or I’m gonna have to stay up once everyone’s gone to
bed and so that’s something that I found in these practical steps that your
season of life may have to dictate how you go about these things but as long as
you do it it’s gonna be so beneficial to you and it changes the way you interact
with everything around you so so our first major key is God needs to be the
center of your life don’t just put it as your relationship because then it can be
on them or him or her no no no it has to be the center of your life let me give
you the second major key and we gonna get into some real stuff like here you
need to know the difference between what your spouse needs and what they want
okay I want you to underline need and underline one because this is the source
of many marriages problems they don’t understand the difference between need
and one [Music]
[Music] [Music]

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