Saving Your Marriage From the Brink of Divorce


Saving Your Marriage From The Brink Of Divorce Hi, I am Joe Follette. In 2017, 2.4 million Americans got married. That same year approximately 800,000 divorced. Over the last 20 years as a licensed marriage
and family therapist, I have helped hundreds of couples bring their marriage back to life
even from the brink of divorce. If you both are willing to make one last-ditch
effort to save your marriage, I’m here to help you do it. You can overcome your conflict and enjoy a
warm fellowship that lasts the lifetime you intended it to last. If you don’t want your marriage to be in
this year’s divorce statistic, I encourage you to listen in over the next 10 minutes as I share with you what I’ve taught hundreds
of couples that has kept them out of divorce court. Couples only consider divorce when splitting
up appears to be the only way to get relief. It’s kinda like throwing up, once you have
eliminated all the other options it becomes easy to do. Couples who are exhausted from constant conflict
or complete shutdown become mentally ill and can often be diagnosed with some psychological
disorder. They are in an emotionally distressed state
of mind that usually includes demonizing the other while in complete denial of their own
contribution to the conflict. Complaints of severe anxiety and periodic
depression are commonplace when couples get in this spot. At this point they both have been traumatized
and the idea of going their separate ways seems like the only relieving option. Love is not enough to overcome psychological
disturbances. High conflict couples need professional intervention.
They need a system that helps them mend broken hearts and restore trust. After playing hit and miss with couples in
therapy over the last 20 years, I have created an intervention that works. I have developed a complete program to teach
couples how to stop arguing and build a happy marriage. Your path to happiness is not in getting your
spouse to change. Your path to happiness is to Take Responsibility for Your Own Happiness! It is not easy to take responsibility for
your own happiness. It’s a lot easier to blame others for your unhappiness. This back and forth blaming that goes on in
your marriage is what fuels your many arguments. Unless you learn to take responsibility for
your happiness you will never exit this cycle. You may even take it into your next marriage. Everybody wants to be happy. But a lot of
people are not happy. They are unhappy because they are looking
outward instead of looking inward for happiness. They are not looking in the mirror. They are
thinking that things outside of ourselves will bring happiness. People are looking for
love and happiness in the wrong places. In marriage they are expecting their spouse
to make them happy. In my many years of practice, I have concluded
that happy people make happy marriages and unhappy people make unhappy marriages. It is as straightforward as that. If you want a happy marriage, you have to
be a happy person. You can’t be looking to your spouse to make you happy. You are
unhappy in your marriage because you haven’t learned to take responsibility for your happiness. You have either had your head in the sand
or you have been raising hell complaining about your spouse. Both of these ways is not taking responsibility
for your happiness. Not taking responsibility for yourself, that
includes your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, renders you helpless to feel better when things
don’t go the way you imagined. You become dependent upon others and your
circumstances to feel better. I’ve discovered that unhappy marriages contain
one or two people who don’t take responsibility for their feelings and are mostly looking
to others to make them happy, calm, peaceful, relaxed, satisfied, secure and a lot of other
things out there. In this state of dependence you will find
yourself whining and complaining to your spouse begging them to make you happy. This tendency to look to others for happiness
has been called many things including codependency, enabling, love addiction, narcissism, and
enmeshment. High conflict couples are constantly reacting
to the other rather than marching by the beat of their own drum. They easily trigger one
another into blaming the other for their unhappiness rather than taking responsibility for their
own happiness. News flash – your spouse, doesn’t possess the power to
make you happy. You do! Your happiness is solely in your hands. Happiness
is a choice – not a circumstance. Happy people tend to smile; they express gratitude;
they are kind and gentle; they are loving and forgiving. They aren’t stingy. They
are easy to please; They are patient and peaceful. They don’t get upset quickly or often. They
are cool, calm and collected. Happy people are a joy to be around and have
a positive influence on others. Unhappy people, on the other hand, are quite
miserable. Their faces often frown. Their eyes and tongues can be sharp and cutting.
They will find fault in anything. They are rude and inconsiderate. They mostly
think about themselves. They expect everyone to cater to their whims. They are right, and
everybody else is wrong. They question other’s integrity and intelligence.
When they leave the room, people often feel bruised and unloved. If you are in an unhappy marriage more than
likely you are displaying the behaviors of unhappy people. Unhappiness naturally leads
to poor communication, little conflict resolution and almost no empathy for one another. So what does taking responsibility for your
happiness actually look like? Well it means two things. First it means you
learn how to see the bright side of things. And second it means you allow your spouse
to see things however they want to see them. It means you stop correcting and criticising
your spouse and focus your energy on creating a rational and positive outlook for yourself. Happy people are looking for the good in things
while unhappy people are looking for the bad in things. The professional intervention I provide is
to train you how to create that positive outlook in the presence of your spouse’s negativity. I have developed a very creative multifaceted
program to help you accomplish this. The most common trait in unhappy marriages
is pointing out one another’s faults. Did you know the hardest person to see the
good in ourselves is yourself? We are constantly questioning the good in
ourselves. We mess with our hair, pull on our clothes, rehearse what we said and did
at the last social event – all suggesting our concern how others see and think about
us. We hold ourselves up against the standard
of perfection particularly as we imagine others think it is. As a result of the personal struggle to see
the good in ourselves anything we perceive as a put down or criticism from our spouse
is interpreted as our worthy of respect card being revoked. And for most people rejection doesn’t feel
like love. In self defense we retaliate with twice as
much hurt as we received. Here we go tit for tat pointing out each other’s faults. It is difficult to see the good in your spouse
when they don’t see the good in you. In order to be happy you must learn to think
happy thoughts even when your spouse appears to be rejecting you. You have to learn to see the good in yourself
even when your spouse doesn’t. You have to learn to stop trying to help your
spouse see you positively. Now don’t get me wrong. Your spouse may
deserve a reprimand. But that gives you no excuse to become offensive, nasty or issue
a counter rejection. Taking responsibility for yourself will help
you focus more on ensuring your behavior is correct and less on correcting your spouse’s
bad behavior. Are you following me here? Sounds easy right? No it’s not easy. That’s why you need professional intervention. So let me recap. Divorce is rampant today because people are
not happy. People are not happy because they are expecting
others to make them happy. When you start taking responsibility for own
happiness you are now better able to think positive about yourself even when your spouse
doesn’t. When your behaviors become more positive your
spouse no longer has anyone to fight with. Your spouse then either goes away looking
for someone else to make unhappy or learns how to make happiness with you. You don’t have to continue to be unhappy in
an unfulfilling, uninspiring, unloving marriage. I lost my first marriage and almost my second
because I didn’t know what I’m teaching you now. I was too focused on their behavior and less
on mine. I’ve lost 20 years of argument free loving
because I didn’t know that I wasn’t taking responsibility for. Because I didn’t know
I wasn’t taking responsibility for my happiness. I am a still a work in progress – but I’m much better than I was. I don’t want you to live another day without
unfettered love in your marriage. One day my daughter brought her cell phone
to me because the charger had broken off in the phone. I examined the phone and knew there was nothing
I could do for her. But I did help her. I made her an appointment to take her phone
to the Apple store. It probably took the technician about 60 seconds
to get the piece out of her phone. He warned us that many people try to get it
out themselves and end up destroying the phone. What my daughter couldn’t do, she brought
to her father. What I couldn’t do, I took to the professional. I guess you know where I’m going with this
story. Maybe you have been talking to a lot of people
about your marriage but find yourselves still struggling. Maybe it’s time to get serious about changing
your situation and getting professional help. The longer you wait the more damage you’re
doing. A professional can help you accomplish what you have been unable to do by yourself.
And in a much shorter amount of time. It will take more than 60 seconds to get you
fixed. But I can assure you, if you both stick with the process, you can turn your marriage
around. You can enjoy the marriage you signed up for. No matter what you have been through – you
can work through it and get on the other side. I want you to kickstart your journey to taking
responsibility for your happiness by offering you a free 5-day intervention for your marriage. This training program will introduce you to
the concepts I will teach you in my Sizzling Hot Marriage Coaching Program. In this training I will teach you my proven
formula to stop arguing and build a happy marriage. I want to help you save your marriage. I want to help you take your marriage to the
next level. There is no better time in your marriage than
now to take action to focus on making your marriage achieve its full potential. There is absolutely no risk involved in taking
this free training. Each day in this 5 Day Training you will learn
one thing towards creating a blissful marriage. On Day One – You will learn ‘The 5 Habits
of a Sizzling Hot Marriage.’ On Day Two – You will gain an understanding
of ‘The ABC’s of Emotions and How You Take Responsibility for Yourself.’ On Day Three – You will see the ins and outs
of ‘How Communication Blockers Destroy Your Marriage’ On Day Four – You will hear ‘How Effective
Communication will Transform Your Sex Life.’ And on Day Five – You will learn the proven
formula to ‘Stop Arguing Using the SLAPPS Method.’ Don’t settle any longer for a loveless,
lifeless, listless marriage. During these five days, you will have the
opportunity to start doing something different and stop going in circles. All you have to do is take the first step
by registering now for my free five day sizzling hot marriage introduction program where I will teach you how to stop arguing
and build a happy marriage. The training usually costs $149. I’m doing it for free now because of how
important saving your marriage is to me. It’s time for you to take responsibility
for your happiness. You can salvage your marriage. Trust me; you can. I want to help you enjoy the friendship and
love you signed up for. You at least deserve that. Making your marriage better is what I’m
all about. If you can make your marriage better, God
can get more out of you. There is no mistake that you’re watching
this video today. God hates divorce and has placed me here to
help you avoid it. God please help this couple make the decision
to take this step in getting professional intervention. I pray for their success. Amen! I would recommend it to other couples. Because from where we’re at today from where
we began at the beginning. It’s like life changing. Cause at first when we first came
in here, I was on one side of the couch, he was on
one side of the couch. We wouldn’t look at each other when we talked,
we would look down. We would look at something else. Now, I find myself when I talk to him or he’s
talking I’m like this I’m engaging making sure I’m paying attention to everything he
is say because I don’t want to miss nothing. He’s working on it – it’s getting better. At times he will still look off and stuff
but then he will find himself and he’ll come back at me and start looking. And we’re more closer. And I see us getting
closer and closer. And at the end its just like We could have been doing this at the beginning.
Yeah. And so I do recommend this to anybody that
is going through whatever situation it might be. Cause you’re not alone. It’s other people
going through the same thing you’re going through. Some might be going through it different and handling it different than you. But in the end its just the idea of how you
deal with stuff and what the course tell you to do. You’ll be like I understand why I came in and I took this course. And I’m
doing this with him and seeing what his vision was through the
whole course. I can see all that. Yeah I’d second that. I think its a complete
180. I would recommend anybody. I wouldn’t have any problem. I would even vouch for it. You know but I
think its to say how it helped our marriage that’s just it – its helped our marriage. We have a marriage now. We’re not just roommates.
Like we live – before I could say I could mess around and see her but now its like ok
hurry home. You know its just different. Every thing is
different. It’s almost like we’re best friends again. You know it’s like when we first started
dating. And it’s just taking time to realize OK what
was it that she needs, what is it that I need. And you got to understand that. The course opened all that up for us. I mean it’s just my only suggestion to anybody
is don’t let it get bad before you come to the course. Like even if you think things
or you may be arguing or you’re getting into it join the course. Cause if its bad and its helped imagine if
it’s just sliding how much it will help. Because for us it was pretty bad and the course
– it’s a night and day difference. Everybody, it’s funny even the kids, everybody can see
the difference. Like it’s everybody. It’s just smiles everywhere. How has it affected your sex life? Ah, wow! Yeah we’re dating again. Like you
know it’s it’s like a first meeting each other. It’s what’s your key word? The spice, the
sizzling, yeah we could be the brochure for the sizzling mindset. chuckles Ah, you know, Taking that time to understand
the other person’s needs and be willing to hear them out, that’s amazing what that does
for a marriage. Amazing. I like that word – amazing. chuckles You’re going to keep saying it? Yeah one more time amazing. chuckles I don’t have to say nothing because he just
said it with his smile. So it’s got to be great. chuckles Smile honey! chuckles Enough said, huh? Enough said! What was it like before? Ah, it was OK. It was just like – sporadic.
Like every other what you would consider married couples going through the motions. Everything
was just like a chore. Nobodies needs or wants was getting fulfilled. And it was just OK come on, like it was just
like washing dishes, chuckles, folding Yeah its sad to say but its. That’s true,
though. And now it’s like a game. Yeah, now its like
what’s next. Whoo! Chuckles But its the simplest thing that makes a night
and day difference. Having a better understanding of each other I think the course has opened
both of our eyes. Yeah! Has the thought crossed your mind that divorce
would be better than bickering? Don’t give up on your dreams! You’re ust 90
days away from peace and harmony. Go to stoparguing.us to learn how.

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