Should I Wish My Ex Happy Birthday, New Year, Merry Christmas, or Congratulate Them?


This is Coach Lee and in this video I’m
going to talk to you about the holidays and your ex or special days like
birthdays or anniversaries or meaningful days to your ex and your strategy of
getting back together with your ex. Click the subscribe button below so that you
can be notified when I have more content like this that’s helpful to your situation and
that doesn’t just include breakups, it includes attraction, marriage
relationship dynamics, and mindfulness. The one common thing that everybody
shares who watches me on YouTube, they have a birthday and they have an ex with
a birthday. And so the most common question I get is, should I wish them
happy birthday, should I tell them Merry Christmas,
should I congratulate them on graduating or getting a promotion at work or
starting a business or was I a jerk if I didn’t do that.
It’s a big concern because people feel like that they owe it to this person or
that this person expects them to do it, to reach out. I actually have a video
called, “Does your ex want you to contact them?” and I’ll link to it in the
description below. I would encourage you to watch it after watching this video
all the way to the end. Some people want the answer right away but those same
people would then ask, “why,” so I’m going to do a little bit of both. So the first
thing is, I would discourage you from reaching out to your ex on a special day.
I’m going to give you a lot of reasoning why and some ways that you can apply the
rule to other situations. One of the reasons you feel like you should reach
out to this person when it’s their birthday or it’s Christmas or Hanukkah
or whatever holiday it is, to be honest with you I don’t even know all the
holidays that exist, but a special day we’ll call it, the reason you feel like
you should reach out to them is because it would mean a lot to you if they
reached out to you on those days. And also because you don’t quite understand
that the consequences of a breakup are important to changing their heart and
changing their mind. We tend to think that in every situation that we get more
flies with honey than we do vinegar and that would be true as much as it’s up to
you. In other words if you interact with them, you shouldn’t be cold or rude or
mean – especially if they contact you and I even talk about if your ex reaches
out to you don’t ignore them. And other people will actually say the
opposite but those people don’t have 20 years experience observing these things
in a professional environment to be able to say ignoring your ex is
actually not the right thing to do because it makes it less likely they
will contact you again which puts you in a bad situation because now the only
thing that you seem to be able to do is to contact them to try to get the ball
rolling again, which is not a position that you want to be in. When people are
ignored or they believe they will be ignored or rejected, they’re less likely
to reach back out. So you should be polite, be casual, be fun when your ex
initiates contact. Initiating contact or not is a different matter because you
tend to feel like that you should take it upon yourself to do
these things, you feel responsible or as though you’re trying to meet
expectations of your ex. But the thing is your ex needs to feel the consequences,
not just because they’re negative and that way they can actually want them to
go away or want to act to change them, which is very, very important, but also
because you are actually being respectful of your ex’s wishes. When
someone has broken up with you, they want less of you,
much less, they don’t want the relationship with you, at least how it
was, and when they say they want friendship, usually they don’t, it’s just
a lot nicer than saying, “I really don’t ever want to see you again,” which at the
moment, they might feel that way. I have a video called, “Stages Your Ex Goes Through
During No Contact,” or after a breakup and I talk about how the first stage your ex
goes through after breaking up with you is relief. They’re relieved to get it
over with because the breakup is something that they didn’t just look
forward to doing, it’s awkward, they don’t want to hurt you, especially if they’re a
good person. Even if they didn’t care about you they wouldn’t want to hurt you,
but they do still care about you, just not to the romantic level that they did,
at least not yet – not yet again. In this moment, they are relieved to get the
breakup over with and they are relieved to continue life now without you at the
moment. Now we’re working to change that. Things change, people change, people think
they want something and then they don’t. People can be misled by others, people
can lose touch with themselves or go through emotional difficulties that make
them think they feel something different than what they will feel later and so
this is not a matter of – “well if you really loved me you wouldn’t have broken
up with me and been able to watch me hurt like this” – well of course! At the
moment they don’t think that they love you in that way. They love you in a
general sense, they care about you because you do have a history but at the
moment the romantic element of it is likely the problem. It’s gone to large
degree. Their attraction has certainly fallen or else they would be with you
and so by staying away you’re showing them that you respect their decision, that you respect their space, you’re not going to overstay your welcome because clearly
you’re not welcome at the moment. I give this example in another video, but if you
were in a house with someone and they went to the room and closed the door and
locked it and you knocked on the door and you said, “Hey, what’s wrong?” and they
said, “I just want to be alone right now.” If you broke the door down and went inside,
do you think they would appreciate that and say well that was really clever of
you or that was really a great demonstration of strength that you broke
the door down even though I told you I wanted to be alone and you completely
ignored what I wanted because you wanted to see me? They would see that as
immaturity. It would not be attractive, it would make you look socially out of
touch and out of touch with them and they might even think of you kind of as
a stalker. And so you have to factor that in, that even though it would feel good
to you if they reached out to you, they made a decision to break off the
relationship. And so we want them to miss that, we want
them to notice you didn’t contact them on their birthday, you didn’t reach out
and say Merry Christmas or Happy Hanukkah or happy Festivus. On that day
you actually have much more leverage, much more power so to speak then even
just a typical day because it’s a special day and they will notice your
absence even more, especially if you’ve had those days with them before. If you
have celebrated a holiday or a birthday with them in the past then those
memories will likely flood their minds to some degree and they will notice they
haven’t talked to you that day but the burden is with them. They’re the ones who
pulled back from the relationship so, if you move any more forward, you’re chasing
because you didn’t move away, right? You stay where you were, you weren’t the
one pulling back and so if you have two people basically at a point together and
one pulls back, if you cross over that line, then you’re chasing. You’re even
going into awkward territory because emotionally you’re not welcome and so
even if the potential is there that they will start feeling that attraction for
you again and recognizing their mistake, it still feels awkward at the moment
until they start moving back towards you. And yes there are situations where
people will say, “Well they don’t miss me at all because there was somebody else,”
or they really seem mad. Sure, at the moment, that’s how it is. That doesn’t
mean that it can’t change. Doesn’t mean that will change, but it does not mean
that it can’t change and so your most effective day to be in no contact is on
a special day when it’s not just an average day. Hit the “Subscribe” button
below if you’re tracking with me on this and appreciating this content and
remember I have my Emergency Breakup Kit which is linked to in the description
below which is a powerful guide to getting your ex back. Now more on this
topic. Another reason that you feel like you
should reach out to them is because most people that I speak to
really still believe in the power of contacting this other person and they
don’t believe in the power of being absent and no contact. And that’s okay, I
understand, you don’t have thousands of cases in 20 years to look at like I do.
So I get it, because I would think the same way but
you’re wanting control, you’re wanting some kind of control over the situation
because you feel like you have no control and that’s why you feel the loss
in a breakup. The one who does the breaking up, they have control and you,
basically because you don’t any power, you can’t say, “No, this won’t happen,” you
basically feel that all you can do is beg for mercy, just like with a dictator.
They come and say, “I’m taking all your income,” and they have weapons and the law behind them, you can’t do anything except beg for mercy. God forbid any of us ever
be in that situation, but that’s what it feels like for you right now because
they’re the ones who made the decision. You had no say in the decision, you were
a victim in the decision. You had no control and so you want to feel that you
are having some control in the situation or that you are taking control and
that’s okay, I’m not going to lecture you on how control is an illusion, I’m just
going to say that’s most likely what you’re feeling to some degree even if
you can’t really put it into words like that and so I’m going to tell you you
actually likely make more progress to getting back together with your ex if
you stay away on those special days. Your absence is actually even more powerful
than usual and if you trust your absence and what I mean by that is, if you
believe that you were a strong enough contributor in the relationship that you
are attractive and that they are making a mistake by breaking up with you, then
trust that your absence will be painful, that your ex will miss you. Your absence
has to exist for your ex to miss you. That’s the number one thing that has to
happen, they can’t miss you if you keep making your presence known, if you keep
reaching out and contacting them. If your ex reaches out to you
and says, “Why didn’t you wish me happy birthday?” or “Why didn’t you wish me Merry Christmas,” even though it’s more likely they would say about the birthday
because Christmas is not just happening to one of us or holiday it’s not just
happening to one of us and so either could reach out in theory but on your
birthday, if it’s your ex’s birthday, then they
would think, “Well why didn’t you reach out to me and say happy birthday because
it’s my birthday?” That’s a possibility. They could do that. I’ve had that happen.
I’ve talked to people who’ve had that happen or seen comments on YouTube where
that’s happened. Just, in that case you could say something like, “I figured you
were busy with your family and friends having a great time and just didn’t
really want to bother you. I didn’t feel like it was appropriate to do that but I
really hope you had a good day.” It’s not really likely that they will reach out
and say, “Why didn’t you wish me happy birthday?” It does happen, but only about
20% or less of the time will that happen. Most of the time they understand what’s
going on and that it’s not really appropriate because you two are broken
up and you are being respectful of their decision and you’re also letting them
feel your absence because the only way that your ex can know that they want
your presence is if they don’t like your absence. Take a quick second and click
the “Subscribe” button below. I truly wish you a great holiday and that your new
year will be wonderful. I hope you get your ex back. I wish I could promise that.
I can tell you what I’ve seen work the most and that’s what I try to do in all
my videos is just tell you what works and give you the best chance of getting
your ex back. No matter when you watch this video, I truly wish you the best. Hit
the “Subscribe” button below. Please don’t forget that.
This is Coach Lee and as always, thank you for watching. you

About the author

Comments

  1. This guy is awesome he is helping me with my girlfriend that broke up the day after New Years and she said she never wanted back but call me a few day later crying because she went on a date with some new guy and she said she wanted to be more then friends but when I woke up the next day she said she wished she never should of called and Ik she was lying because she’s a bad lier but now I just don’t contact her anymore

  2. Since the break up my ex is alot more online on whatsapp normally she would go to sleep at around 12 and now she is still awake at around 2 and never seems to go offline i am in NC rn but really curius why that is is she just talking to friends? Has she found another man already this is only week 1 since the break up so i really hope not we were a couple for almost 2years in a ldr anyone a clue how it comes she is online this much?

  3. SOS coach Lee. I saw you dont schedule calls right now, but I really need your help and my case is so specific and theres so much going on that I dont think I will find an answer if your Breakup kit. Is there a way you could still help?

  4. Coach Lee- no coaching calls? What if I promised to be brief and to the point? I need an opinion to one small question 😬😬😬🙄

  5. Coach Lee my ex reached out to me today. 5 days after no contact. I followed your instruction in emergency breakup kit and things went well. But just wonder is it too fast? Should I stay more reserved

  6. Guys, what do I do if I managed to get a 3 months old dating relationship with my best friend :(((( It turned out we are not really suited together since we make a pretty toxic combo as a couple. We were friends for 2 years. He broke it off . I only miss the friendship part. I have a boyfriend now. But on this channel I only see videos how to get the boyfriend back and that you shouldn't be friends. The thing is I don't want him back as a boyfriend but I really need his friendship. We used to discuss our relationships(with other people) and talked about things we never dare to talk to anyone else. I was in no contact for 4 months then he reached out asking me out. The thing is what do I do? He sends me way to many messages and I am afraid he wants to get back as a couple. I want him back very much, and I missed him like crazy, but only the friend part. Is it even possible to go back to being close and good friends after having sexual relationship and dating?

  7. Hi all. Just wanted to share a success story! I went no contact and after time went on my ex started reaching out to me a few times which I was polite until we met, where she said she felt worse and worse as time went on as she realised I was not in her life!! No contact is the only way. We are much happier now and in a great place!

  8. See this is the thing about breakups. If they leave you after all the thing’s you’ve done for them. That ex of yours never loved you to begin with. If they truly “Loved” you. Wouldn’t you think they’d still be with you, and you wouldn’t be watching this video. Your ex may have found someone else. Or they might go back to their ex. But just know that no matter what it might be. Your ex mind is always on you. They might show off the impression that “They are happy”, Or “They don’t need you because of their distraction” ( The rebound person ). You’re, and will forever be on her mind. It might take day’s, weeks, month’s, or even years before you hear from your ex again. But that doesn’t mean that they won’t ever reach out to you. Focus on yourself, and live your best life. Give them the break up, and give them the Best gift of all. Your absence. Silence speaks volume. Trust me. Good luck to you all.

  9. So i was recently put in the friendzone with an ex .we have been broken up for about 10 days now and i don’t know what to do .i believe I have made many mistakes to get him back.i would really appreciate some advice because I really miss him.

  10. My (now) ex sent me this text on January 5th 2020 and that was it and I wanted to know what I could do(we lived together and she was staying with her mom in the south for month and this was the day before she was expected to return home:

    "Loryan", I wanted to let you know that I will not be coming back to live with you. Nor will I be returning for my things or coming back to the house at all. I will not be continuing the relationship with you at all and for both my interest and yours, I will be ceasing all contact with you after this message. Please do not contact me in any way, shape or form. I hope you take care of yourself but, I will be doing what I need to for myself from this point forward. Do not message me on any online platform, do not call me, or attempt to reach me or communicate with me by mail or other. My mail will be forwarded, feel free to dispose of any mail you have already opened and do not open any other pieces of my mail going forward. I have not been happy for some time now and I am completely finished trying to make things work between us at all. Do not attempt to get any of my things to me, you

    may dispose of them or leave them behind when you move out. I am not attempting to hurt you and I wish you all the best in the new year. Do not message me and do not try to find anything out about me because I am simply not your concern. Best wishes, "Panda".

    Im restarting no contact because I panicked on January 8th and went into a lengthy bit of begging with no response and even "cry" called her mom who still loves me but wants me to give it time but Im scared she's just being nice. Coach Lee I really need your help because we were together 4 to 5 years, I'll by all the programs I need and book any call. Im very desperate for help.

  11. Coach Lee I had already sent a clean slate message prior to finding your material on here stating to actually apologize if it's appropriate. When it was sent about 1 month and 1 week again I immediately when into NC. When I sent the clean slate message I stated, "I regret putting you in a position to be distant with me" but was sure to end it with saying, "I will respect your wishes to be left alone." I did also state what I should have done differently with him but in a summed up manner such as being patient, not being pushy, etc. At the time of the clean slate message I saw other material that stated do not apologize so now I'm like wondering if what I stated will be seen as an apology, which I certainly hope so. I value your advice, so will what I stated be helpful for him to bring back warm feelings for me and come to me? P.S. I didn't think it was appropriate to break NC and actually say, "I'm sorry for….but if you say otherwise I'd do it if necessary. I did purchase your break up kit but I didn't exactly find the answer to this unique situation I'm experiencing. Thank you for any feedback Coach Lee!

  12. Please, help with some advice! My ex broke up with me after almost 6 years of relationship. And we lived together for 4 years. It was an ideal relationship, full of care, understanding, mutual interests and lots of love, on both sides. Last year he became more silent, confused, I saw that. And finally a week ago he broke up with me, saying that I’m too emotional, sometimes angry and frustrated where he is just sad and we are on different emotional levels. At the same time he said he wants a new chapter in his life, and feelings for me stand in a way, cause he cares a lot about me, and thinks it’s not fair to me to keep being together if he doesn’t feel much love anymore. At the same time he says that he feels we have a strong emotional and emphatic connection, and he’s worried about me. And he feels love, as if I’m a member of his family. So, at first I was in denial and angry at him, I wasn’t shouting of course, but I was crying, and he was crying, and he hugged me…I went to my hometown for 4 days, (I was planning to go there anyway, the tickets had already been bought before he said it) so I spent some time not writing to him, only once, saying all my thoughts that he should think about it carefully and etc. Then I came back (after 4 days) to pick up all of my stuff. And I was as calm as I possibly could. Said that I love him a lot, respected his decision, and ready to go away and give him time and space to be without me. By the way, he told me he was relieved abd calm without me for 4 days, oh well, obviously. So I picked up all of my stuff…(He didn’t force me to go away he was ready to go away himself, but I decided that it would be a better thing for me to be with people who loved me in my hometown, which is not far away from where he is. The thing is, that I know for sure that he is coming to my hometown to visit his parents in a month, so during our conversation I said – “ why don’t we meet in a month when you come visit and talk” which he agreed. And now, after watching your videos, I think I might have made a huge mistake of proposing that. What am I supposed to do? Will no contact still work? Because now he knows we’ll see each other in a month. anyone? Help?

  13. Hi Lee. Is there any way to contact you? -The website says you take a break with phone coaching and that you make youtube videos. I miss a lot of help from you, but I don't understand anything about youtube videos and can't apply it to my own ex. I'd like to be in touch with you by email because you're the only help I trust.

  14. I do not want him back, I just want to heal myself after break up. This is so damn pain. I have been through all love story in my life but this one is the most painful. In a month, we will actualy separate away, I will go back to my country and he stays in Europe. He is offering me LDR, with one condition, I have to go back to Europe, if not we broke up online. That is such the most worst broke up ever. So I said no, but one day after I regret my decision, and ask him back and lets try it. But he didnt want me anymore, he said he didnt want to give me false hope and he wants to be my friend. Since we together, he was a nice boyfriend, he never hurts me. Now I am living my life with blaming my stupid decision. I stay no contact because I dont want to disturb him but deep in my heart I miss him. What should I do??

  15. I'ts been 4 month since she broke up with me.

    I broke the NO CONTACT RULE 2 times.

    I started again and today I am on day 21.

    Do I have hope? Or did it keep her away from me more?

  16. I invited my ex to my baby shower, did I mess up? Please reply. He is the father of our daughter and does plan to be in her life but I don’t know if I messed up NC.

  17. Should I break no contact to I need to tell her I don't want to be friends with her? she messaged me after 17 days saying she misses me and hopes we can be friends? I want her back in a relationship

  18. Sooo finally after over a year (one year and one month) I am totally over my ex!!! I did date others, but still thought about him.
    didn't get him back, but still so happy that I'm over it.wish you all the best!don't wait for anyone, time is too presoius.A person that loves you will find the way back to you, but go on with your life and don't wait for that day.

  19. When will you come back coach Lee? I truly need your advice so badly but I dont think your emergency break up kit will be able to answer my questions and even tho I searched for other coaches, none of them gave me as good of a impression as you do.

  20. Could you please make more videos about long distance relationships, and maybe touch on multiple breakups? My situation is a 3 year long distance relationship, and we have broken up 4 times. This time i'm finally doing no contact, since he suggested we should move on…but he clearly still has feelings for me. I would really appreciate advice for these trickier scenarios, take care Lee! 🙂

  21. Hi all. I want your advice. It's not him whose celebrating. It's me. I'll be turning 18 this coming January 23 and it's a tradition to invite 18 boys to dance with you. Before we broke up, he actually said he's saving up money to buy me a gift. He also said that he'd come to the party. But the day after we broke up, he said he won't go because he would just be hated by my friends who will be at the party too.
    I'm doing the no contact as well and it's just 12 days when we broke up.
    We see each other everyday because we go in the same school. We haven't reached out or initiated contact except for that one brief moment of eye contact.

    Should I invite him if I want him back?

  22. I have things not covered. I have a step daughter and she talks to me every day. She currently seeing someone but wants to keep in contact with me. I dont know how to do the no contact. I don't want to cause more damage than I already have. What you are saying sounds good and reassuring

  23. I have been watching your videos ever since the breakup which was two months ago. I thought no way would my ex ever get back together with me. He’s different to others. I went into no contact and heard from him a lot but I told him many times I can’t be friends with him and he got upset but said he understands. But he still kept reaching out. Last week he confessed that he’s been going downhill since the breakup and that he’s noticed I’ve become a positive person and he’s proud of me. He said he’s lost all motivation to work because he doesn’t have me to impress anymore. Then two day’s ago he told me he’s sad because he regrets breaking up with me as he didn’t know what he was losing until now and that he was happiest when we were together. He was getting very stressed (on message) and I asked him what he wants to do now and he said he doesn’t know because he doesn’t want to get in the way of my growth and that he needs to sleep on it. I said take as much time as you need and talk when you are ready. It’s been two days now and I haven’t heard from him which is fine but I am worried that he won’t want me back. Thank you so much for your videos. Without them, I wouldn’t have done the right things. I lost hope many times and so I would watch a video and suddenly gain the hope back. If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t be at this step now. I’m so close

  24. I know coach Lee you don't like giving specific time to how long things could take and etc.. but I just wanted to ask one thing. Can the relief period take longer than 3 months. By the way I was in a LDR and that's why I really wanted to know.. or anyone has any ideas how long could a relief period take thanks in advance

  25. so on Christmas he commented on one of my pictures and asked about my Christmas then I said "pretty good and yours" and he replied "good feeling a little lonely tho" and about a week ago I also took another picture but with my lil brother and he replied " I miss your little brother 😊" what does that mean I'm confused it's been about 4 months sence we broke up ?

  26. What do you should do if your ex is wishing you a Happy Birthday,are you going to wish him one then too when there Birthday comes around.?If you in no Kontakt?

  27. So i don’t follow your channel but i do have a sirious question. It has been almost 5 months since i broke up with my girlfriend. Recently i found out that she has moved on, while waiting 4months for me. I had it rough those couple of months, with the breakup and family issues. So I don’t blame her for the action she took. But now i hear this, i wonder for myself as a man why i didn’t took this fast as she did. Why does it take me so long to move on, while i was the one breaking up with her, and she moved on more quickly than i did?

    Maybe you’re a popular YouTube channel kinda guy who wouldn’t take the bother to answer, but i tried to reach out. Maybe you can help me out with this. Thankyou in advance.

  28. Stayed away from my exes birthday on the 11th of this month, spoke 2 her few days afterwards n let her know I intentionally did stay away cos I was respecting her wishes.

  29. So that's it… yesterday she had the birthday so I sticked to no contact rule. I must say that I felt and still feel terrible about it, like being unpolite, seemingly mad at her. It's interesting how one thinks what he should to do and what other expect him to do. I'm proud for not writting to her but kind of devastated as well by acting contra my heart.

    Your feelings after not wishing on your ex's birthday?

  30. If if there was anger and annoyance after the break-up?
    I have then written a clean slate message, ex plained I was going through health issues and went no contact since. It has been 5 months now…

  31. I’m just here for your illustrious hair .

    The thumbnail is the same so it’s such a delightful surprise to see what your hair will look like next 😁☺️

  32. Okay so me and my ex broke up 3 weeks and almost 4 coming up, she left me and told me she wanted something else but a part of her wanted me, I bugged her day after day and it got to the point where she changed her number, I haven’t talked to her sense, our anniversary is coming up and I was going to write a short and brief letter basically saying “I still think of you everyday, if you would like to talk to me then my phone number, I would also apologize for my actions and how immature I acted right after the break up, I feel like it could go good or bad, someone help please. She’s also been hanging out with another guy for the past month, to my knowledge they aren’t dating, someone please help me out because the days are getting closer and closer and I don’t know if I should or shouldn’t write this letter.

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  34. Keep coaching us coach Lee, this is the best advice ever, even if it doesn't work on our best interests, but it helps some of us to get our self respect and self love. Thank you so much😊

  35. This girl I used to heavily talk to birthday is next month on Valentine’s Day & we just now stopped contacting because she didn’t want a relationship. What should I do ?

  36. This girl I used to heavily talk to birthday is next month on Valentine’s Day & we just now stopped contacting because she didn’t want a relationship. What should I do ?

  37. To be very honest with you. You are one of the best on relationships advice. And I have been through 100’s of videos of so called renowned people. But you ,I find have brains. Very highly appreciate your advices. Really helpful. 👏

  38. This is what I need.. since the last few days of my bf leave… I didn't contact him next month, is he's bday I'm wondering if I would greet him or not… Thanks for this vd

  39. Wouldn’t she feel like “oh he didn’t even say a simple ‘Happy Birthday’ to me, he’s being spiteful”? Or something like that? Just feels like it creates a bad image of you by not saying anything at all

  40. Coach Lee we had relationship of 12 years.. we didnt did official brkup..bt things are not ok.becoz he is still jobless…nd giving me sch thing like im jobless etc frustrated…..so he is not callng not txtng…..i cald him few days b4…we talked txtd bt be same situation..can u plz help me out …is our relation stI'll ill or not

  41. It almost been a year I wanted to say happy birthday because last year I wasn't able to due of no contact but then she deleted me cause I didn't say happy birthday I'm assuming we was already in no contact so I didn't said anything but I wanted to know if I do now would it make a difference??

  42. We’ve been through everything, he won’t come back, its been 3 months now. I texted him congrats over big news recently,he responded but i kept it at that. Might as well keep it friendly, i know we still care for each other!

  43. I wanted to share my story. I’m not a fluent English speaker so I’m sorry if I make you confused. I went through a breakup with this guy I loved the most in my life. But he broke up with me three months ago and I was devastated. And I started watching Coach Lees videos. I think Ive watched most of it because I really wanted to get back together and I followed what he says in the vids and I never texted this guy first but when he texted me I replied casually. ( he only texted me twice in like two months after the breakup) And I focused on myself to become a better and more independent person. I was gradually getting over him and I started to like being single but I know I still have some feelings for him. And he told me he still had feelings for me and he wanted to see me again after three months. After all this happened I became a better person and Ive came to the point where I know I will be happy either I get back to him or I don’t. Thank you so much Coach Lee!

  44. I'm sad to say that I'm in/was in a 3rd party situation. We have been lovers for 15years off and on since college. We are 37 now. I blocked him completely unexpectedly, he's pretty pissed lol. I'm watching your vids to stay strong and rebuild my esteem. We have a lot of nostalgia and history together😓 I had to walk away I was losing myself loving someone who was in a relationship they CHOSE to be in.

  45. Thanks, when I was with my ex, her ex boyfriend called her on her birthday, this means her exs always call her on her birthday. This year am making a difference, am not going to call her

  46. What if he was the one who broke it off. I did no contact for around 2 months and I only politely thanked him when he reached out about my mail. 2 weeks gone by and then he didn't text happy birthday 😣💔

  47. My ex dumped me and I went no contact. The next time she got in contact was to have a go at me for not wishing her a happy birthday 😂

  48. What if he wanted to be friends when he broke up with me. Months later of no contact he messages me and says that he hopes we can be friends again Atleast and I didn’t reply. A month later on my bday, he messaged me again but a birthday greeting. Is it okay i replied hours later and just said thanks with his name? What does it mean he’s messaging me and seems to really want to be friends.

  49. I'm in a really tough situation right now Valentine's day is in two days and she dumped me two weeks ago

    This past Friday I injured my knee at work and she checks on me once a day through text just to see how that's going and I keep it polite and neutral

    but now I feel like I'm in a tough spot with Valentine so close

    And it was a really great relationship excellent chemistry just circumstances and it's a long distance relationship

    we were so close to moving together in the summer but her company put her in a tough spot and gave her a real good position at work

  50. I am in a 60 day NC with an exception of 2 scheduled contacts – 1. His Birthday and 2. A scheduled surgery. (Those days are 12&13 days in). This NC was due to my ex deciding if he wants to reconcile with wife-BOOO. The last two things said to each other was I love you. Should I just forget it?

  51. My ex broke up with me almost 3 weeks ago. We tried to just be friends and it's awkward. I feel no contact is what is needed but she wished me happy birthday yesterday. Her birthday is coming up in 2 weeks. If no contact happens now, should I break that to wish her a happy birthday?

  52. Valentines day is tomorrow and the 5 week mark she left . I've decided to treat myself to a dinner . ME time . NOT contacting her is gonna be hard , but , it has to be no contact .

  53. so my birthday is 2 days before hers what if she reaches out to tell me happy birthday do i tell her happy birthday on her birthday also?

  54. My ex sent me an old Valentine's card in the mail that I gave him two yrs ago while we were together. He did the same thing before Christmas. He wanted this break up so why is he doing this?

  55. Thinking about Ex is just a bad habit. The moment I saw through her, all she ever did was try to hurt me. The NC helped me weigh up her value to me. I now see that I really dodged a bullet. When I do think of her, its just the one step back of the two steps forward. I'm comfortable and happy without her. Saying Happy Birthday would be chasing, I don't chase anymore.

  56. If you’ve watched Coach Lee’s other videos then you’d know the answer: “ABSOLUTELY NO, DO NOT CONTACT YOUR EX FOR THESE OCCASIONS!”

  57. Trust me guys it does bother them that you don't reach out for their birthday! I saw my ex yesterday since no contact and when we broke up a month ago. And later that night he said "did you know it was my birthday 2 weeks ago?" and I said "yes I did" and he looked upset and said "why didn't you text me and wish me happy birthday?" And I simply said "because we were broken up" and he tried to twist and turn it around that I STILL could've wished him a happy birthday and I just shook my head and said that he broke up with me so I accepted that and left him alone.

    He did not like that :)) And he's a person who pretends that nothing bothers him so trust me guys they will sense your absence on their birthdays (and my ex and I hadn't even been together long enough to have celebrated his birthday last year but it still bugged him that he didn't hear from me this year)

  58. I love my X but I'm not gonna spend the rest of my life , Going no contact 😊..If he returns fine. If he doesn't fine.. I am open for New Relationships.. He will always have a piece of my 💓..I just made contact after 9 months.. No anger, No being rude.. We had a long distance relationship, I truly be believe that's what also damaged our relationship 😎..No one was ready to relocate so fast ..Thanks for the video great points🌹🤩

  59. Question , its going on 6 weeks being broken up and 3 weeks of no contact . she broke up with me . her birthday is approximately 7 weeks out from now . if she has not contacted me after 3 months should i wish her happy birthday and break no contact .? Are relationship was 2 years

  60. Hi coach Lee,
    I was at 8 weeks of no contact when my birthday came up and she reached out through email to wish me happy birthday. I politely thanked her and hope everything was going well.

    Its been 5 days of no contact again, is this a good sign she may be starting to think about coming back?

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