Social Anxiety at the YouTube Christmas Party // Vlogmas 2019 Day 15

About the author


  1. There really aren't words for how much I love the two of you. Claudia's hair looked fab and I soooo relate to the "awkward introvert syndrome." I would totally do the whispered aside to my partner thing upon spotting someone at a party. Stunned to hear Jessica's estimate that 70% of people on YouTube are introverts. I did some time using a chair and just for the heck of it, would virtually force eye contact with people, if only to amuse myself.

  2. Every introvert needs a Jessie! Yep, Cloud, I’m pretty much stationed near the food table or trying to help the hostess. But since she’s busy, I usually end up helping. They tell me I’m sweet and I say thank you. But inside I’m thinking, I’m so awkward!

  3. I'm kinda extroverted in 1 on 1, but when there is more than 3 people I start to shutdown. The noise often drives me mad, so I step outside.

  4. I think introversion also depends on the environment at times. I consider myself an introvert but if I'm somewhere where I am comfortable, I am a bit more extroverted.

  5. It is entirely possible to be both introverted and loud! Once I’m around people I know or if it’s a professional setting I can be very outgoing, but at a party with a bunch of people I don’t know, I’m very awkward and uncomfortable.

  6. I am absolutely Claudia (at parties and beyond) and totally rely on my extrovert friends to facilitate me along. And then I inevitably hide/need time away from all the partying because the energy drain is real.

  7. I think when we're teens we feel like the whole world is watching because it kind of is watching. Teens get constant feedback on what they're doing from parents, other family members, teachers, other school officials, doctors, classmates, and generally anyone they run into on a daily basis telling them what to do and how to be. Many TV shows, books, and advertisements are directed at children and teens, too, so it does feel like the whole world is interested in them when you're that age. Then you turn 18 and people suddenly lose interest. You're expected to know what to do and do it on your own, but that feeling that everyone is watching takes years to go away. I think that's why a lot of older people feel lonely; they don't feel like anyone cares any more about their lives.

  8. I relate to Claudia's behaviour at parties on a visceral level, sadly my partner is introverted and shy to, so we generally just hang out with each other! But I do smile a lot, in like every photo 😁

  9. 2:10 Are you going to have kids? 😁 Of course, if you want to have kids… ? I never wanted to, there are SO MANY that are available for adoption that would be so grateful to have parents like you both! dynamic couple !!! 🥰💕
    3:10 I already have a big cumbersome child… SILENCE …….
    We know you guys do that for entertainment! 😊💖🌈
    Over-stimulation and alcohol… gotta love the holidays….. 😱❄🕊🎄🎁
    VERY interesting talking about eye level, not looking down and ignoring people with mobility aids! I live where disabled and elderly people live, along with their pets, so I'm always looking out to make sure I'm not tripping over a leash, aid, or even just getting my toes out of the way for a scooter. I guess I could say since I moved to the apartment complex I'm in now, I truly never thought about it until it was right in my face, (not in a bad way) and i always let anyone with canes, walkers, scooters in first, hold doors, and help if I can, i think that should be a good class to add to a school curriculum is how to respect others without offending them!

  10. Am a very introverted person somewhat shy especially around alot of people . As I 've been watching your videos for awhile now I've notice that Claudia has blossomed into this fashionista! You look so incredible in your vintage style it's you ! Both of you lovelies are rocking it ! ❤🌲

  11. Definitely can confirm that people studiously look away when you're in a wheelchair. I had to use a wheelchair to get around for about a month when I broke my foot (my arms were too weak for me to get very far on crutches) and I was amazed at how much people actively avoided looking at me. It was really weird and off-putting. Since then I've intentionally tried (probably with mixed results) to give people with mobility aids the same relaxed glance I'd give to anyone else. It's become easier now that I live in a place where it's more common to see people out and about on their scooters or chairs.

  12. I wholeheartedly support this "no one thinks about you, they're all too busy worrying what you think about them" statement. I spent my youth feeling suffocated by this mythical Public Glare…that really wasn't there. Nowadays I'm 36, I wear pretty much what I want and I do whatever the hell I please. One example: I'm fat. Visibly overweight. I eat a burger at a food court of my local mall on the regular. No one has ever spared me as much as a fleeting glance. We're all free to live our lives the way we want.

  13. Dear Jessica, what a wonderful video!!! I loved hearing from Claudia about her social experience. It validated my experience! I think that in a lot of ways that this is' the age for extroverts. Early 1900's could be described [in my eyes] as a time for introverts. I think introverts have a lot to offer! Hugs, Alison.

  14. Claudia, I feel you on such a painful level. I got told in high school that being awkward was cute and I was like.. "really? 'cause all I feel is pain."

  15. My sister, who is a clinical psychologist, explained it this way: Extroverts derive energy from social interaction. An introvert's energy is taken from social interaction. This helped me. It explained why I feel the need to be by myself after social interaction, in order to 'regroup'. Hugs, Alison.

  16. I am full on introverted ! The happiest time at a party was when I went as a ghost – covered in a sheet that had 2 eyeholes cut in it. And I kept it on all night ! So fabulous ! No one could see me. I'd rather not go but if forced I find a chair in a corner and stay there. Sad aren't I.

  17. Yes people ignore those of un in chairs HARD. I was once wacked in the face by the same woman's purse TWICE in the same store! Several minutes and isles apart . It's a funny story now, but it was one of the first times I was alone in a store in my chair and I was seriously freaked out LOL

  18. In my experience being an extrovert makes me feel awkward and introverts seem calm and graceful. I can so relate to the idea that feeling uncomfortable prompts me to talk louder and faster and approach people more. But afterward I feel embarrassed and self conscious and wish I could be serene and quiet and act more introverted.

  19. Oh my days. JESSICA that dressed looked so beautiful on you. CLAUDIAAMAAAAZING. It depends. I'm anxious in general and I have bowel problems because of it. At parties, when I attend one….. I m more introvert when indont know the people and more anxious as well.

  20. We should stop measuring our worth by comparing our lives with people who we perceive as having it easier than us. Even people who make two fancy dishes while juggling kids, a household and a full-time job may have struggles we do not know about. And the reality is that some people are more resilient than others and will objectively be able to achieve more when in the same or even a worse situation. But this does not mean they are more worthy or deserve more love than those with less achievements. Neither do "high achievers" deserve being looked down upon or made fun of. Maybe I misunderstood your comments, but to me they were not as uplifting and tolerant as you both usually are.

  21. Very introverted. My Anxiety is very severe. I’d like to go to a lot of things. But it’s often just too hard. So I avoid even though I’d really like to attend. I do want to be invited though. It’s such a awful thing to have. It’s a disease where your allergic to the cure.

  22. I can not be myself at a party because my real self would be home but you know I try. Strong introvert here to the point I get overwhelmed and cant remember conversations or names, I never forget a face though

  23. You guys look great! Love Claudia's suit and her hair is amazing. I am an introvert that just needs a break from everyone not that I can't be social. I also sometimes decide not to go to parties at the last minute. Also, I think you have an out for not bringing a homemade dish since you aren't at your own home!

  24. I tell my husband that he's always allowed to use me as an excuse, for whatever he needs! I used to be an extrovert, but mental/physical health challenges have a way of changing a person. Definitely waaaaay more introverted now

  25. it's reassuring to hear that claudia struggles with introversion, i hate parties (where i dont know anyone) and can get 'stage fright' like she does with talking to people. we should all try and work around that though, and avoid using introversion as an excuse

  26. Damn Claudia looked so good in her outfit! Yours was just gorgeous Jessica and more my style, but Claud’s powerful sexy side was nice to see!
    I’m an introvert, but if I’m out with people I know and love then I’m usually quite extroverted. A drink, or sugar rush usually helps me to get going. If I’m feeling my outfit I’m a lot more able to appear extroverted too, as it gives me something to talk about. I’m just not great at small talk, I prefer deeper conversation which is why I’m struggling dating as the standard ‘who are you and what do you do’ just doesn’t do anything for me!

  27. claudia at a party is exactly how i feel too, i need someone i know well with me to actually socialise with other people in the same space hahah

  28. Jessie! Silver and blue makes us Hanukkah celebrating people feel really accepted and acknowledged though! Please don't hate on it too much 🙁

  29. I'm disabled and watched this with my partner and we were laughing so hard at the part about "I keep telling you to use it as an excuse more". Love you guys <3

  30. I agree that it's so amazing and freeing to realize that no one actually really cares what you do and you don't have to perform perfection for an audience and can just live however you live.

  31. Man, I relate with Claudia so much! I even declined going to my husband’s company Christmas party because I am so freakin’ insecure around people I have never met. It’s my worst nightmare, trying to act “normal”. Rationally I know it’s all BS, but in the situation, I just want to crawl into a hole.

  32. I relate to Claudia so much. I’ve just recently realized that I have social anxiety, and parties are a gigantic stressor for me. (Especially when I don’t know anyone)

  33. I will never get over how adorable you two are 💖💖💖 you remind me of the human capacity for love and kindness and humour, and it makes my soul happy 😊✨

  34. do you have any videos in which you explain why you don't like silver and blue and why you have a specific christmas colour scheme? also, I am extremely anxious at parties and I also send my partner into the fold 😂

  35. Claudia I relate so hard with you and parties. I'm an introvert and it takes me a me bit when I first get to a party because it can be a bit of a sensory overload all at once. After a bit I start taking everything in and notice all the cool stuff.
    By the way, the suit was amazing!

  36. I find it fascinating the types of things different people notice depending on their own experiences, I find myself looking at people's scars as I'm very aware of my own. I also find myself walking into people outside because I'm far more interested in the birds, squirrels and trees around me.

  37. This might just be one of my favourite videos of yours. I could listen to you two talking for hours, just very interesting and relaxing. And I'm also a very awkward introverted party goer but I learned to feel more comfortable with it in the last years. I just really enjoyed the vibe of this video!

  38. I loved this video! I am such and introvert and can completely relate to Claudia at a party. The eye contact and look away.

  39. BUMPING INTO PEOPLE IN A CHAIR IS THE WORST! I went to a fairly crowded craft show recently and people would be so caught up in just trying to ignore that I existed and would just stand right in the way! Like, I can't just scoot by you, I'm rolling along in a bulky metal chair! It got so bad I was three seconds away from just tucking in my feet and ramming ankles. It's so frustrating!

  40. I just found out, that I can finally be a member of your club and I'm so happy I could cry! (actually there are literal tears in my eyes) Lovely video as always💕💕💕

  41. Honestly I relate to Claudia so much! I'm sitting watching in a McDonald's.. by myself. I was gonna go eat in the car but I realised.. well actually I don't think anyone cares if I'm sitting alone. No one did!

  42. I like Hallmark movies because I feel good when they are done. I feel the same seeing you both interact with each other. I haven't figured out what made this video better than many others but it was better.

  43. That is not a reindeer – the antlers are all wrong. It's some other kind of deer. The YouTube party planner must not have realized the difference when they ordered it for the party.

  44. When you talk about introverts and extroverts, I thought it was interesting because I always figured I was pretty ambiverted but I think that confirmed it; I have traits of both!

  45. Even with subtitles I struggle I little to follow Claudia because she speaks so fast. (I'm not a native English speaker)

  46. To me the worst thing is that I myself pay attention to others and sometimes even judge them (but it's just more like observing). So I can't tell myself that nobody cares and nobody's looking because dammit if I do then someone else will xD

  47. Claud, don't worry – people who know you both, might think you're telling Jessica (with her being blind in one eye) that they are there, or reminding Jessica (with her lovely personality but memory problems) about who they are / what important thing has happened in their life that she might have forgotten

  48. I love this video. The editing is SO beautiful. It makes me feel all Christmas-y and warm for the first time in a very long time. I adore you both, and you give me hope for happiness. Even on the yucky days, I am grateful.
    And I am especially grateful for you showing me how to cope with life. It is definitely #LifeSupport! 🤭 thank you xo

  49. I’m certainly a mix of an introvert and extrovert (ambivert I think it’s called 🤔) cause I do enjoy talking to people but often feel drained afterwards if it lasts too long yet need regular social interaction to avoid feeling lonely. It’s a little frustrating trying to find the balance haha.

  50. When my mum is in a chair or scooter in public people will just bang into her, walk around her, fence her in, and generally act like she isn't there or isn't – I don't know – a person worthy of respect. Have you experienced this as well?

  51. I'm an introvert and I dont care about having a lot of shallow friendships, and I had a group of people at a party one time try to lecture me about how if I just force myself into all these uncomfortable situations and pretend to be interested in people that I would become more outgoing and more likable and would fit in more…. they could NOT accept the fact that I didnt want that and that sociability was not important to me.

  52. Curious question do u two know Rose and Rosie?? If so that would b great if u four dis a collab…I've seen u do a collaboration with Stevie..

  53. I totally see and understand that yes, a lot of youtubers are introverts! "hiding" behind a screen is easier for us. it's a way to express ourselves and then we can curate if we will answer to certain comments or not. there's more social control.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *