Sonoran Living: How To Rekindle Romance In Your Marriage


Alright, when we come back we’ve all
been taught the Golden Rule, right? Well, this woman says it’s ruining our
relationships. Here to tell you why, Kevin up next. Well, let’s be honest. Can we talk?
Every now and then our relationships with our significant others, you know
what, it could use a little help. That’s perfectly normal. Well, our next guest says you can start by tweaking the Golden Rule. What does she mean by that?
Relationship advisor Susan Bratton is here to educate us on lessons she has
learned through her many years of marriage. She’s also written a book on
the topic titled ‘Relationship Magic,’ which is technically a workbook, one
of, how many books have you written? Oh at least 20. 20 different books on the topic.
Ok, so I was reading, now how long have you been married? 25 years. 25 years!
Congratulations! We hit some rough patches. Doesn’t everybody, then? And this is what
helped us. Really? It’s so simple. So have you turned your personal
experiences into these workbooks? Of course. Okay, alright. Lots of extra
studying too.. Okay. ..on what makes relationships great. Let’s talk about the
Golden Rule. What you mean by that? Okay, the Golden Rule and if everything is it
unique to everybody well we’re taught almost everyone has heard the Golden
Rule do unto others as you’d have them do unto you and so we bring that idea
into our relationship and we treat our partner the way we want to be treated
okay but my thing is the Platinum rule the Platinum rule is treat your partner
the way they want to be treated and teach them how to treat you the way you
want to be treated you know what it doesn’t go haha and it’s also there’s
another one a communique there is that too although guys are not big on that as
you know no I don’t you have to repeat yourself and that’s just not right well
the beauty of it is that this idea of understanding what your top four
relationship values are and letting your partner know what what yours are so they
can give you what you want and you can give them what they want so here’s what
I like out this particular workbook yeah it’s
actually a workbook I’m going to open this up here Jason and if you come you
in mind grabbing this for me real quick but i want to show you that in the back
it asks you the question and it gives you the opportunity to write them down
and what I’m guessing is that you would do the same with your partner you each
have a workflow workbook to work within and would you then switch and then read
each other’s information yeah the whole idea is that you identify your top four
relationship values so let me give you some example okay a woman might and I
try not to be gender bias but girls and boys are usually pretty different right
so women often say that they want security as one of their top four values
where men might more often not be so interested in security they feel like
they can take care of themselves where women like to be taken care of by their
guy right a man might say he wants affection a lot of affection a woman
these days might say I want you to take care of me but I also need my freedom
because we’re women of the world these days a man might say I need total
honesty in this relationship I need to know where I stand at all times or I get
worried and so it’s really just servicing the things that are most
important to you and then giving your partner for things just a simple
checklist of the things that are most important so they can get up every day
and give you what you want and you know what I’m hearing is that this is
something great to do at the beginning of a relationship but if you’re already
in a relationship it’s still something great to do because people change and
that’s where a lot of people get tripped up in their relationship well your
values tend to be fairly consistent throughout your lifetime because they
come from how you were raised the models that you had the culture you live in the
time that you’re alive but what you’ll find if you do it with a partner you’ve
been with me all of a sudden say now I understand why you acted like that this
is like oh I think I’m totally clear your behavior becomes clear you were
trying to get what you needed but you’d never quite put it into words for them
so the idea is you you’re out the top things you want and
then you tell your partner what you need again right it sounds so simple doesn’t
it well it is we have all of Susan’s information on our website sonoran
living.com Thank You cousin go out make it break it

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Comments

  1. Your Platinum rule stinks…..I had a wonderful marriage prior to my husband's death. This man I married ( 2nd DH ) wants no part of sex….I haven't been kissed in 10 yrs. Sorry….but when you marry a liar…where do you go from here ?

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